I woke up from being jostled by Essence. Cade was nearly falling asleep while he was standing.
"Will you please tell him that he needs to sleep?"
I took one look at Cade's disheveled appearance and discovered Essence was right. Cade certainly needed rest and I had slept long enough to be able to stay alert. I wasn't about to run a marathon but I could stay up long enough from him to get a few hours of sleep. Running on like four hours of sleep would not last me long though.
"Please sleep Cade," I said quietly. "Essence and I can keep watch. We'll be fine."
He studied me for a minute before closing the distance between us and wrapping me in a hug. His arms were wrapped so tightly around my torso, it was almost suffocating.
"I just want you to be safe," he whispered in my ear.
"I will," I whispered back.
Cade kissed my hair and took a step back. I gave him a small smile that he returned ten-fold. Even if we weren't safe something about being in here made me feel like we were. There was just something about confined spaces that comforted me.
"Turn around ladies," Cade said.
I turned around not wanting to see the male anatomy just yet. The shuffling of clothes reached, my ears as Cade changed his clothes into something more sleep appropriated.
"You're good now," he stated.
I turned around to see him under a mound of covers on the ground. I walked over to him and sat down next to him.
"Goodnight," I said, kissing his forehead.
A content look filled his features and I giggled.
"Goodnight," he said.
Soon, his eyes closed and light snores filled the room. That was my cue to let him sleep. I walked over to Essence and sat cross-legged next to her.
"Are you tired?" I asked her.
She smiled, "Nope, I have insomnia. I guess it's a good thing right about now, huh?"
I chuckled and she let out an airy laugh. It was easy to tell she was lying about being tired, but I decided it was best not to push her until it was necessary.
"Even if I was tired I'd still stay up though," she said, seriously.
I furrowed my eyebrows, "Why?"
"Well," she sighed. "You guys are all I have now. I had my parents and Rose and even as much as I hate to say it, The Town." She looked up at the ceiling and let out a humorless laugh. "None of those things lasted for long did they?"
"You and Cade are all I have too," I said.
"I guess I just miss Rose. I don't think I'll ever get over her, Eve. It's just so hard," she said, her voice cracking. "I loved her so much."
Without thinking I pulled Essence into a hug.
"You'll always have me Essence. Always." I said, hugging her as tight as I could.
I could feel her salty tears staining my shirt, but I didn't care. Her body shook with silent sobs as I hugged her as tight as I could. This was the least I could do for her. She had changed my life so much from just being there.
"You saved me kiddo," she said through tears.
Tears filled my emerald eyes, "You saved me too, Essence. We all saved each other and that's how it's going to stay."
Silence washed over us like a refreshing wave on a hot summer day. I'm not sure when our hug broke apart but I felt much better after we did. Essence gave me the comfort I had never received from my mother and I cherished it. It was almost like magic how she could make me feel better and I matter of minutes and how I could do the same for her.
"I just wish everybody didn't have to die," Essence whispered.
I let those words hang in the air, as I felt there was no fitting way to respond. I could offer meaningless comfort, but what would that do?
"Me too," I eventually said.
"Eve, I just wanted you to know I'm proud of you. With all that you've been through, I'm surprised you're still fighting."
Essence's words hit me harder than I ever thought words could. I had never once had somebody say they were proud of me.
"I don't think you should be."
"Well, I am," she said, playing with her matted curls. "I used to imagine my dream kid with Rose. I always wanted a little girl, but she wanted a boy. I wanted my little girl to be smart, strong, and caring. Do you know who is all of those things?"
"Me?" I asked."
"You," Essence confirmed.
I could tell she meant it, every word, and it felt great. I felt my chest swell with a foreign emotion as I looked up at Essence with the biggest smile I could muster. Even that smile didn't seem big enough to convey to her how happy she had made me.
"You're strong, smart, and caring too. I wish you were my mother."
Essence sighed, "Honey, I think I already am."
I smiled, "I think you already are."
Essence let out a stifled yawn that prompted me to give her a pointed look. I could tell she was tired and needed rest, it was time to officially push her to rest.
"You need to sleep," I stated.
She shook her head, "What I need to do is make sure you kids are safe."
It was not going to be an easy task to get Essence to rest. Her drooping eyelids were plenty of motivation though. She might have insomnia, but that didn't mean she was immune to being tired.
"I can watch perfectly fine. Also, we haven't been found yet and it's been like what five hours or something?"
"Six," Essence corrected.
"Exactly! If they were trying to get in here they would have already. We're safe for now."
Her eyes narrowed as she considered my points. She seemed to be cracking. I just needed to do a little bit more prodding.
"You'll also be fresher if you sleep. How are you supposed to kick butt if you're tired?" I asked as innocently as I could.
"You got me there, "she muttered, scrunching her nose. "Fine, but wake me up in two hours maximum. Got it?"
"Got it," I said.
"You will be alert the entire time I'm sleeping and wake up Cade if you need to sleep?"
"Yes," I drawled out, rolling my eyes.
"Oh, the teenage years," she said sarcastically.
With that, she stole a few blankets from Cade's mountain and took a pillow from the corner of the room. She motioned for me to turn around as she changed and I complied. There was a brief amount of rustling before she said I could turn around.
"Night, Eve," she said while wrapping herself in blankets.
"Goodnight," I said while holding in a laugh.
Essence tossed and turned for a bit before her breathing leveled out. I was left in a blissful silence that I welcome as if it were an old friend. In some ways it was, it brought both good and bad memories along with it. Wallowing in past sorrows isn't the least bit beneficial though. As I let the silence cleanse my mind I imagined my future.
I would live in a good-sized house with tons of kids and animals. Cade and I would be happy and Essence would be there too. We'd have a daughter and name her Nova in honor of the little girl he lost. My future would be bright and there was nothing anybody could do to stop it. I would stay here for years if it meant I could have that someday.
"Someday," I whispered, shattering the precious silence. "Someday."
That word hung in the air as the silence returned. Silence could be shattered but returned so quickly. In some ways, I wished to be like the silence, broken but able to be back together. I knew I wasn't though. I was shattered and broken into so many pieces it would be impossible to put me back together. Instead, I used those pieces to build a new person. I used the shattered pieces of who I once was and built somebody more resilient. Those pieces still made me up, but now in a different shape.
So as much as I wanted to be like the silence I simply wasn't, nor would I ever be. I was much better than silence.
"I am a warrior," I said, once again shattering the silence.
I closed my eyes and a memory flashed behind my eyelids. I was standing with Nova. She had a bleeding gash on her leg.
"Ella pushed me down in front of all of my friends," she sobbed.
I wiped the blood off of her knee and began to clean it.
"So what?" I asked.
"So, they're all making fun of me for being a baby," she said looking up to me with tear-stained eyes.
I grabbed her small hands in mine, "My little sister is no baby. She is a warrior."
"No, I'm not Evie," she said.
I covered her bloody knee with a bandage, "Would a baby climb trees and ride a bike a hundred miles per hour?"
"No," she said.
I nodded and picked her up off of the counter.
"Would a baby win the race for the fastest third- grader?"
"No way! Babies can't run!" She exclaimed through giggles.
"Exactly," I said while walking her out the door.
I grabbed her bike helmet and strapped it to her head. She looked at me with confusion etched into her young features.
"And would a baby go back to Ella's house and push her back?" I asked.
"That's what a warrior would," Nova said with awe.
"Then what are you?"
She smiled up at me, "I am a warrior."
My eyes flashed open and tears filled my eyes. I tried to shake the memory out of my mind, but it just wouldn't leave. It felt so real. Too real.
I shivered and contemplated waking up Cade. I shook my head again, he needed to sleep. My breathing became heavy as I rocked back and forth.
How had that felt so real? It felt like I was there before, but I knew for a fact I wasn't? That place didn't look anything like The Town. Not to mention Nova isn't alive.
"Why can't anything be easy?" I questioned.
A part of me hoped somebody would answer, even if I didn't want to know what the true answer was.
I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from crying again. Eventually, I could taste blood and little pieces of flesh. I was past the point of caring though. It was safe to say I was a complete mess.
At that moment I wished I was like the silence. I wished I could be fixed, but I was beyond repair. Damn, did I feel hypocritical now?
I drew in a deep breath, "Who cares?" I asked the silence. "Perfect is overrated anyway."
I laughed at my stupid joke, "I'm freaking crazy."
"Good crazy," Cade muttered, wrapping his arms around me from behind.
I leaned into him and he held me tighter.
"Please, come cuddle with me," he mumbled.
How was I supposed to say no to that? Well, the logical part of my brain said it was because there were people outside that wanted to kill us. Who ever listened to logic though?
"Okay," I whispered.
Cade dragged me over to his blanket mountain and laid down. He then grabbed me and yanked me into his arms. Pulling the blankets over us, he hugged me and sighed.
"You're a good stuffed animal," he said.
"You're warm," I said slowly.
His warmth was lulling me into slumber quickly. He hummed some response but I was too far gone to hear it.
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This chapter made me cry so many times it's freaking illegal.