| April 8th | Monday Afternoon |
~ Megan's POV ~
Today was the day I was supposed to have my parent-teacher conference with Lisa, and I was beyond nervous. Not to get to the bottom of whatever seemed to be going on at home, but to suggest my idea of tutoring Ava after school. I believed my intentions remained good. I just hoped Lisa looked at it the same way I did.
"Hey, could you do me a favor today?" I ask Ethan during recess.
"Sure. What is it?"
"I'm having a conference with Ava's guardian and was wondering if Ava could hang out with Ashton in your classroom?"
"Yeah, I don't see why not." He nods. "Is this because of the whole late thing?"
"Yeah," I admit. "I'm gonna suggest tutoring Ava after school as well."
He just looks at me with a confused look.
"What?" I ask. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
"Do you think that's a good idea?"
"Why wouldn't it be?"
He shrugs. "I mean, Lisa could take it as overstepping your boundaries as a teacher."
He had a point and I knew it. I had thought about that consequence, but I had a plan. Instead of continuing the conversation, I just thanked him for agreeing to watch Ava and remained quiet throughout the rest of recess.
When the time came, and Ava was sitting in my class waiting for Lisa to show, I sat next to her and helped her do the homework I assigned. I consistently checked my watch and realized Lisa was a bit behind schedule. If I was late to therapy, Sam would be really upset with me.
Then, there was a rapid knock on the door. Lisa stood there looking disheveled, but at least she was here.
"Ava, why don't you go to Mr. Wess' class to hang out with Ashton while we talk," I suggest.
"Okay!" Ava agrees excitedly.
I watch her scurry off to the adjacent classroom before Lisa takes a seat in Ava's desk. There's this exhausted look on her face, but I just hope it was from this new job she claimed to have. It seems as if it was a task for her to even be here.
"How are you, Lisa?" I ask.
"Tired," she confesses.
"Listen, I don't wanna take up any more of your time than I have to," I continue. "So, I need you to tell me what's going on, because I may have some ideas to help you and Ava."
She just stares at me, as if contemplating and determining my motives. If I were being honest, she just looked fed up with everything in general. My fingers remain crossed under the desk.
"I have to make a certain number of hours at my new job to qualify as full-time, because if I don't, I won't qualify for health insurance," she unloads. "I've tried working out a solution with my boss, but it's the only way.
"Are you saying the hours just aren't compatible with Palm Vista's school hours?"
"Yes."
"Well, is there anyone else in the household that could possibly pick Ava up? Or could she switch over to become a bus rider?" I wonder.
There's hesitation on Lisa's part, and I wonder if there were things she was leaving out. Details she was purposely refusing to tell me. I figure that must be it, because she seems to be searching for something acceptable to say.
I reach out, which makes her eyes switch up to mine.
"I can tell you're stretched thin," I say. "And I know you don't have an obligation to tell me everything that's going on, but Ava's grades are suffering, and she won't pass third-grade without some extra help after school."
This news seems to stab Lisa. The look of exhaustion quickly morphs into a look of complete despair.
"I can't afford a tutor," she argues. "And I don't understand her homework enough to help her..."
"That's why I have a proposition," I continue. "But I need you to have an open mind."
She just nods before she folds her hands on the table between us.
"I'm suggesting I tutor Ava after school for the remainder of this year." I take a deep breath. "It'll allow me to make sure she completes her homework and understands the material, and it'll allow you to be able to stay at work and not worry about where she is."
Lisa remains stone-faced, and a sinking feeling grows in the depths of my stomach. Have I offended her? Was she going to report me to my uppers for overstepping? Was she going to take this out on Ava?
But instead of freaking out on me, she begins to weep into her hands. Now I was the one who no longer knew what to say.
"Lisa?" I question. "Are you okay?"
"Y-Yes, I'm sorry. I just..." She dabs her eyes with the collar of her shirt. "I just feel relieved, is all."
My hand instinctively reaches out and rests on one of Lisa's shaking hands. She seems to have accepted my proposition, and the relief I feel because of that is so overwhelming, I can a cry. Maybe this is the emotional aspect Sam was so afraid of...
"I'm sure you know about Ava's situation..." Lisa explains. "With her being a foster child and everything."
I just give her a sad nod.
"She talks about you all the time," Lisa confesses. "How you're her favorite teacher and you always let her borrow books from your class library. I..." She takes a ragged breath. "Just, thank you, Miss Adams. Thank you so much."
I give her a reassuring smile and we talk out a schedule that would work for everyone. Then I send them on their way. When I check my watch, I realize I'm going to be late for the therapy session and panic to pack up and leave. I thank Ethan in a hurry and rush away from Palm Vista and speed to Dr. Dupree's office.
When I enter the room, Sam is sitting on the couch looking annoyed with her arms folded over her chest. I hesitantly make my way over to her.
"Glad you could join us, Megan," Dr. Dupree welcomes.
"I'm so sorry I'm late. My meeting extended a little longer than I anticipated," I apologize.
"Sam and I were just talking about the foster class you two attended this weekend."
I look at Sam who remains stoic.
"Okay..."
"Sam, would you like to tell Megan what you revealed to me?" the therapist asks.
"Not really."
I just stare at my annoyed fiancée and shake my head.
"Well, why not?" I ask her.
Sam remains quiet and I can tell she's in deep in thought. I turn to Dr. Dupree for answers. Eventually, the therapist gives up waiting for Sam and turns to address me on her behalf.
"Sam is worried that your motivation to get certified so quickly is being driven by the possibility of you still fostering Ava," Dr. Dupree admits.
I'm shocked at the revelation and can't see how Sam's come to that conclusion. I'm very aware Ava isn't eligible to foster or adopt, and I had given up the idea... right?
"That isn't true," I counter.
"Are you sure?" Sam voices with annoyance laced in her tone.
"Yes. Why would think that?"
"Because we're not even married yet," Sam explains.
"We don't have to be married to foster."
"No, but it would make it a hell of a lot easier. I just feel like this is something that can wait until after we are." Sam shakes her head in confusion. "Because, otherwise, it looks like you're rushing to do this before Ava possibly gets rehomed."
This admittance takes Dr. Dupree by surprise.
"Is there something that I don't know?" the therapist asks.
I sigh deeply. It was clear Sam had refused to mention everything about Ava and had led me right into the fire. I turn to Dr. Dupree and cross my legs.
"Ava's guardian is having trouble keeping up, and by law I'm required to report if I feel she's being neglected," I admit.
"Tell her why you were late today," Sam presses.
I look at same in annoyance.
"I was having a meeting with Ava's guardian." I squeeze my hands together. "And I agreed to tutor her after school because she's failing-"
"And because her guardian can't manage to pick Ava up on time," Sam interjects. "Megan knows that she should report this to her uppers, but instead she's found a loophole."
The information settles over the three of us as Dr. Dupree leans back into her seat and studies us. Suddenly I understand how Sam has come to the conclusion she had about my motivation to get certified. Deep down, a part of me knows that she's right.
"Megan..."
"I guess, it's kinda true," I agree.
"Sam, how do you feel about that?" Dr. Dupree asks.
Sam shrugs and seems to battle thoughts quietly in her mind.
"Megan, you decided to tutor Ava before you even got my opinion," she says. "And I know you don't need my approval to do what you think is best for your students."
I just listen intently to my fiancée.
"But after everything we went through when all of this Ava stuff started, I just wish you'd factor me in to your future decisions," Sam concludes.
"I do factor you in!"
"After you've already made up your mind!" Sam folds her arms. "Considering how your decisions will affect me is still an afterthought for you."
Suddenly I see where Sam is coming from and I grow more upset with myself than I had been in a long time. She was right, and I've been too focused on Ava to even realize it. My shoulders shrink with disappointment.
"I'm sorry. I just..." I stall. "Ever since Lacey passed away, I've always felt like I should act quickly and decide what to do without any hesitation. The last time I considered other people's opinions, I waited too long and Lacey killed herself."
Sam's sad eyes find mine as she reaches for my outstretched hand.
"I guess I never learned that not every situation is that dire," I finish.
"Sam, how've you digested what Megan just said?"
"I understand," Sam says. "And I know you see the neglect Ava faces, but there's nothing more you can do for her living situation. You're only responsible for teaching and looking out for her in the classroom."
I knew this, but it didn't extinguish the desire to still try. She wasn't eligible for rehoming because as of right now, the state still saw Lisa as a good fit. She wasn't eligible for adoption because her biological mother was still alive, but couldn't raise her due to being incarcerated. Ava was stuck in limbo, which meant Sam's statement was true.
I just haven't fully accepted it yet.
"I know."
The session ends not long after that and I apologize once more for keeping Dr. Dupree late. She just waves me and Sam off and tells me not to worry about it. It isn't until Sam and I are walking out of the building that my fiancée finally addresses me.
"I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, if I did," Sam apologizes.
"N-No, it's nothing you did." I dig around in my purse for my keys. "You're absolutely correct."
"Then why do you still sound so upset?"
"Because I am."
We stop walking and look at each other.
"Sam, Ava is such a bright little girl," I admit. "She's so smart, and she has so much potential..."
"A lot of kids are like her, Megan," Sam explains. "Ava isn't the only foster kid facing neglect."
I look up at the gray sky and attempt not to cry. Just the thought of actually giving up the idea of fostering Ava makes my heart hurt.
"What is it about this little girl that has you so hung up?" Sam asks.
"I don't know..."
Sam's sad and concerned eyes never leave me, but she reaches out and takes my hand anyway. Her touch comforts me some, but not enough. I really didn't know what it was about Ava, I just knew I wanted to help her.
"You can't save everyone," Sam states.
"Are you saying I shouldn't tutor her, then?"
"No." She shakes her head with a smile. "I'm glad you're helping her pass, because that's your job, but stepping in front of any issue outside of academia isn't good."
She tugs on my hand which causes me to look at her.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah," I lie. "Well, no, not really, but I will be."
She gives me a sad smile.
"Do you want to go grab dinner somewhere?"
"Sure."
We settle on one of our favorite restaurants and agree to meet each other there. On the drive, I picture myself strictly acting as Ava's teacher and nothing more, and once she graduates to fourth grade, she will no longer be my responsibility.
And although I knew it shouldn't, the thought still manages to eat me up inside.
***A/N***
Episode 5! How is it having two updates a week, you spoiled brats? Lmao, just kidding. Happy Friday (even though everyday is Friday in quarantine)! Love you guys. Please vote for this chapter if you liked it!
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Lauryn