Reverend Orville Swanson X Female Reader
Summary: Orville realises that his feelings for you run deeper than he thought.
Word Count: 1800
You couldn't help but frown as you walked through the camp, seeing Reverend Swanson almost passed out in front of the campfire. It pained you to see him like that but you still decided to leave it, that was until Micah decided to get involved. The outlaw stood from his seat and walked up to Swanson, kicking him roughly and waking him up.
"What the hell, Micah? Leave him alone" you huffed as you walked over to the two of them.
"I don't like religious types" Micah told you, as if that was justification.
"So you just kick him? Because you have some issues with God? Grow up" you scoffed, crossing your arms over your chest.
"That and...he's weak. The Morphine...he's a weak and repellent man at his worst, hiding behind a pack of lies" Micah emphasised each insult with a kick to Swanson's shoulder.
"Beside the morphine...you just described yourself" you told him.
"I am not weak" Micah growled as he stepped up to you.
"But you are repellent. Much more so than him" you refused to back down, having always hated how Micah treated other members of the camp. The man just snarled at you before walking away.
"Come on, Reverend" your voice softened as you lent down and helped the man to his feet. "Micah is horrid man, don't you listen to him" you advised as you guided him over to his bedroll.
"Thank you..." Swanson's voice came out slurred but sincere. You hated seeing him like this, losing to himself, it was hard to watch.
You gently help him down onto his bedroll but, instead of leaving him, you sat down with him. You didn't want to leave him just yet. So, you let him lay with his head in your lap while you played with his hair.
It was soft between your fingers and you couldn't help but smile when Swanson let out a hum of approval, making himself more comfortable. If he had been more sober, he wouldn't have let himself shift closer to you like he did but he didn't exactly have a strong grasp on his inhibitions at the moment. It also didn't help that he was just in complete awe of you. He thought that you were perfect, beautiful and kind, always so kind to him. Your touch was soft and gentle, even affectionate.
It wasn't long at all before Orville fell asleep, peaceful and content. At least he was when all he could focus on was your fingers in his hair.
It was later that afternoon, after Orville had woken up and was more sober, when he approached you.
"Uh, miss L/n?" Orville asked, not wanting to bother you.
"Hey Reverend. How are you feeling?" you turned to him with a smile, like you were actually glad to see him.
"Good...better. I wanted to thank you for earlier" Swanson told you, looking and feeling ashamed of himself.
"It's alright. We all have the things we struggle with, sometimes we just need to know that somebody is on our side" you reassured him with a kind smile, and a beautiful smile it was. "I'm sorry, Reverend, I really have to go. But we'll talk later?" you asked, disappointed that you had to tend to chores rather than speak with the man.
"Of course, no worries, miss L/n" he nodded, not wanting to keep you.
"Oh please, just call me Y/n" you insisted. "I'll see you later" you lent up and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek before walking away.
Orville watched you leave with an adoring smile on his face. A smile that slowly fell when it dawned on him, exactly what he was experiencing. He had feelings for you, deep and intoxicating feelings.
Feelings that he knew you wouldn't return, that you couldn't return, and that made his heart ache. But at least you were his friend, you were on his side, you said so yourself, and you cared about him. He would take whatever he could get.
- - - - -
With your help and support, just your presence and smile usually being enough, Orville had managed to stay clean for the last couple of weeks. But all good things much come to an end. Much to the Reverend's embarrassment and shame, he relapsed, turning to morphine as he often did.
"Oh, Reverend..." your soft and sympathetic voice caught Orville's attention but he didn't look up at you. He couldn't bring himself to look at you considering you had sound him propped up against a tree. "Come on" you encouraged as you helped him to his feet, now realising that he had probably been drinking as well.
You didn't comment on it, you just took him back to you tent where he would have more privacy. You sat him down on your cot and your heart broke when he started crying.
"I'm sorry" Orville apologised, pain evident in his voice.
"Hey, it's okay" you frowned as you sat down beside him, wrapping your arms around him and letting him cry into your shoulder. "It's alright, you'll get there. We'll try again, okay?" you reassured him, running your hand over his hair and holding him.
"No, I'm sorry for being such a burden. You should be enjoying yourself with the other girls. Should be spending your time with the other men, can't even take care of myself" Orville apologised again as he wrapped his arms around your waist, holding onto you.
"Shh, you don't mean that. It's the guilt talking. You know that I don't mind, I just want to see you get better" you shushed him, pressing a kiss to the top of his head.
"Don't know if I can. I want to, I really do, but I keep failing" Orville confessed, burying his face in the crook of your neck.
"It's not an easy fight. But that doesn't make you weak, you're stronger for trying and not giving up. So, please don't give up. It wouldn't be the same without you, I'd miss you" you spoke quietly into his hair.
"You're so wonderful. You're so good to me even though I don't deserve it" Orville was mumbling more now, probably falling asleep, the morphine effecting him. "You look after me but you don't have too, you're so good...so wonderful...you're perfect" he gushed, pressing his face further into the crook of your neck. "...I love you...I love you so much...thank you" he whispered before you felt him fall asleep against you.
You were definitely surprised by his confession, you weren't sure whether to take his words seriously or if it was just the self-medication talking. You held him for a moment longer before laying him down on your cot, deciding that you would bring in his bedroll and just sleep on the floor for tonight.
- - - - -
The next morning, Orville woke up to the smell of coffee. He groaned as he sat up, seeing you step into the tent with a mug of coffee in your hands.
"Here you go, hopefully it will help" you smiled as you handed him the hot drink.
"Oh...thank you" Orville accepted the drink, grateful for your kindness.
"How are you feeling? You were pretty out of it yesterday" you asked, tilting your head to the side slightly.
"Not great...thank you for being so..." Orville paused as he searched for the right word to describe you.
"Wonderful?" you asked, recalling what he had called you last night.
"Yes, exactly. Wonderful. You are too good to me" Orville nodded, sighing softly.
"You said that last night, as well as some other things" you giggled to yourself.
"Oh...I'm sorry if I said anything stupid" he apologised, focusing on his drink, already knowing he had said something stupid.
"No worries, you just got a little emotional" you assured him. "Now, drink up and then get yourself something to eat. I would stay but Miss Grimshaw needs me to do something" you pressed a kiss to his his temple before leaving your tent.
Orville finished the coffee before leaving your tent and helping himself to some food just like you told him to. He sat at the campfire and started to eat, only to nearly choke on his food when the memory of last night came flooding back to him.
Now he was blushing as he started down at his food. He had confessed his love to you last night and he couldn't even remember it when he woke up. That feeling of shame was creeping back to him again. He looked up just in time to see you walking past him, and you smiled at him before carrying on with your business. You seemed unfazed so...that was good, right?
It was the afternoon when you had finally finished all your chores. Swanson was sitting at a table in the camp, so that's where you headed.
"Are you avoiding me, Reverend?" you asked, grabbing his attention. Normally Swanson would at least smile at you when you caught each other's eye in camp, but today he had just been looking away from you, disappearing to the other side of the camp when he realised you were approaching each other.
"What? No, of course not" Swanson denied, blushing lightly.
"I'm guessing you remembered what you said last night" you sighed, assuming that was why he was acting strange.
"I...yes, I did. I'm sorry about that, the last thing I wanted to do was make you uncomfortable" he apologised with a sigh.
"Orville, it's alright" you assured him as you sat down beside him. "You did nothing wrong" you told him as you took one of his hands in yours, brushing your thumb against the back of his hand. "Is it true though? Do you love me?" you asked.
"I...I do" Orville hunt his head, unable lie to you. Since he hung his head, he missed you smile.
You lifted your free hand up and hooked a finger under his chin, lifting his head up to make him look at you. Not explaining yourself, you lent in and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. Orville was surprised but couldn't deny you, he slowly returned your kiss.
You pulled away from the kiss but he attempted to follow you, chasing your lips, making you smile fondly.
"I love you too, Orville" you confessed.
"You deserve better" Orville told you quietly, not understanding why you would want him.
"You mean so much to me, Orville. I love you, flaws and all. I'll be right here by your side through everything" you promised him.
"I love you" Orville told you, sober this time, but truly, utterly, in love with you.
"I love you too" you repeated before leaning in and giving him another kiss.
"I'm going to get better, I promise you" Orville meant every word, he would get better, he would be better, for you.
"I know. I believe in you" you smiled and Orville believed that you meant it. You really did think that he could get better and, with you by his side, he started to truly believe it as well.
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