SINNERS & SAINTS ⋆ nikki sixx

By viinceneil

178K 5.1K 3.4K

The very last thing that Christine Hill expected was the exponential success of Mötley Crüe-the band she love... More

1. Moonlight Mile.
2. Indifference.
3. Grinding Halt.
4. Cherry Bomb.
5. Crucifix Kiss.
6. Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.
7. Entombed.
8. Hollow.
9. Hold Me.
10. Kiss Me Deadly.
11. Fastlove.
12. Too Young To Fall In Love.
13. ✭ bandaids don't fix bullet holes
14. ✭ danger
15. ✭ play the game
16. ✭ love bites
17. ✭ runnin' with the devil
18. ✭ poison girl
19. ✭ dreaming about heroin
20. ✭ family ties
21. ✭ ain't it the life
22. ✭ changes
23. ✭ go to hell, for heaven's sake
24. ✭ sister morphine
25. ✭ devastation
26. ✭ aftermath
27. ✭ bittersweet symphony
28. ✭ my favorite mistake
29. ✭ lethal weapon
30. ✭ what a lovely sin
31. ✭ the drugs don't work
32. ✭ idaho
34. ✭ would i lie to you?
35. ✭ valentine's in london
36. ✭ affairs of the heart
37. ✭ dead man walking
38. ✭ the calm
39. ✭ lyin' eyes
40. ✭ to wish impossible things
41. ✭ boys don't cry
42. ✭ better in time
43. ✭ dangerous woman
44. ✭ intervention
45. ✭ you're all i need
46. ✭ wish you were here
47. ✭ strength of a woman
48. ✭ sara
49. ✭ new beginnings
50. ✭ better man
51. ✭ so this is love?
52. ✭ over & over
53. ✭ hurt
54. ✭ exasperation
55. ✭ fever
56. ✭ friends will be friends
57. ✭ dancing on glass
58. ✭ angel
59. Chance Encounters.
60. Bastard.
61. Bitch Is Back.
62. Sin.
63. Love Buzz.
64. No Distance Left To Run
65. A Minute Longer.
66. To Live Is To Die.
67. Pearl Black Eyes.
68. The Other Woman
69. I Know It's Over.
70. Crazy Bitch.

33. ✭ vanity kills

2.1K 55 35
By viinceneil

Warning(s): smut, drug abuse

"Fuck you, Nikki! It's like you don't even care about me and what I want anymore!--"

"--I don't care about what you want?!" he asked, laughing humorlessly. "If anything, you don't give a fuck about what I want! It's always me, me, me with you, Christine!"

"Are you hearing yourself?!" I yelled straight back in his face. "Are you seriously hearing yourself right now, Nikki?"

"I am" he stated smartly.

My eyes rolled because I couldn't believe how snarky he was getting, and I wanted nothing more than to reach up and wrap my hands around his neck.

"Why do you need to be such...such a smartass all the fucking time?"

"You're not calling me a smartass when I'm buying you clothes and drugs and food--when you can be fucking bothered to eat anything--and everything that you need, Christine! Hell, I put a roof over your head, gas in your car, I fund your spending habits, I make sure that you're alright when you're shaking and convulsing on the bathroom fucking floor because you've taken one hit too many! I spend hours talking to you about whatever stupid ideas that you have, usually involving college, and know that you're never gonna press onto them--but I listen anyways. Why? I don't fucking know, because I don't really care most of the time, and I just wanna cut to the chase and either get high or get my dick sucked! But I do it all because you're my wife and, believe it or not, I do love you--no matter how many times you tell our friends that I never say those three fucking words, no matter how many times you tell me it's fine that I don't say it, because you know I love you anyways so why bother. But of fucking course! It's all about what I want! Nikki never does anything for his poor, hard done by, neglected wife who he can't admit to loving unless he's practically being fucking forced to!"

I was stunned. My jaw hung low in disbelief.

"You make this relationship out to be so one sided, Nikki! Yes, you might buy the food and pay for things for me, but when was the last time you actually went grocery shopping? Or the last time you physically paid a bill? When was the last time you even so much as thought about going out and buying the stuff that we needed, that wasn't alcohol or drugs or fucking weapons?! Or the last time you worried about making sure everything was taken care of because you were so smacked out that you forgot to pay the electricity bill, and you were left in the dark for four fucking days while I was with Beth--and you didn't even realize?!! I do just as much as what you do, even though you don't think so. You never ask me to do things because you don't think I'm capable of it because I'm a junkie, but I do them! I do them because I notice that they need doing, and if I don't then who the fuck will?!"

Nikki rolled his eyes at me, my lips pursing at the sight of his snugness.

"You make it sound like you're my hero or something, my savior! I didnt need to be saved by you. If anything, I need to be saved from you!! And, despite what you say, I absolutely do not ask you to do everything for me! I want go to college so I can pursue a career, and I want to get a job, Nikki, you know that I want to get a job!--"

"--well go out and get one then if you're so independent, if you don't need me and my money! I'm not stopping you!"

"But you are!! You shot down every job opportunity that I even so much as thought about seizing, and you still have the audacity to say that you aren't!" I spat, shaking.

He shook his head in anger, rubbing his temple. I took a step back when he pointed a finger in my face, swallowing the lump in the back of my throat.

"I didn't want you to be a stripper, Christine. How many times do I have to fucking tell you that I don't care what you do, I just don't want my wife working the poles and exploiting herself for a living!"

"But you're happy to watch other girls my age exploit themselves for a living? And you're happy to fund their exploitation by going to strip clubs, and bars, watching them take off their clothes, watching them dance to your songs and having a great time up there--you don't want that for me? You don't want me to find something that I enjoy?"

He raised a brow, trying to think of what to say after my tone softened and I started to speak coherently for the first time in hours.

Another smug, sickening grin formed against his lips. "You're not stripping, Christine."

"Who are you to tell me that I can't do that?!"

"I'm your fucking husband!" he countered.

"Is this your superiority complex coming into play?" I questioned as he scoffed out. "Is this the thought of me going out in the world, earning my own money, making a name for myself, finding my own feet, the thought of me not needing you to thrive and the thought of you not being able to dictate my every last goddamn move?! Is that what this is?!"

"I do not dictate shit to you! You know that I don't tell you what you can and can't fucking do, Christine!"

"Oh my god! You do! That is literally what you're doing now, Nikki!"

He ran a hand through his hair and balled up a fist, chest heaving as our eyes met again. I licked my lips in anger, trying to focus on suppressing my tears.

"I want to do things for myself. It's not a bad thing that I want to be independent" I let out softly. "I always used to be like this and you never said anything...what's changed?"

Emerald eyes grew darker and I knew that he was seconds away from saying something about how smack changed my entire personality. He wouldn't have been wrong.

"You really are such a fucking brat."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard what I said."

"I'm not a brat" my chest heaved "you know that I'm not a brat."

"Yes you are! You're such an ungrateful little bitch! I work my fucking ass off to give you all that you have, but you turn around and tell me that, not only do you not want me to do all this shit for you, but you want to be a fucking stripper? Of all things?! Is my money just not good enough for you anymore?"

"Are you deaf or just plain damn stupid?! I never once said that I wanted to be a stripper, I just floated the idea of it because it's something that I knew I would enjoy, and I knew it would get a reaction out of you! I'm not going to become a goddamn stripper Nikki!!"

My eyes traveled to the kitchen door handle that twisted a few times, but the person on the other side gave up once they realized that it was locked.

"Fuck you! Fuck this!" I gestured to the party on the other side of the glass panel door, the people half conscious on my living room carpet. "Fuck everything! I am actually done with all of it! All. Of. It!"

He grabbed my wrist, pulling me backwards.

"You can't leave. Not in your state. Where the hell would you even go?"

"Literally anywhere" I shook his hand off of me, trying to reach for my purse but he got in my way. "Fucking move!" I pushed his chest and he stumbled back a little bit, his hands grabbing my elbows and forcing me still.

"You're not going anywhere--"

"--you had your quickie, your new year's kiss and your little dig at Christine. You don't need me for the rest of the night. Just let me go!"

"No."

"Nikki" I warned "I am leaving whether you like it or not."

"No, you are not."

"I. Am."

"No. You. Are. Not." He repeated himself, towering over me.

"Fine!" I barked in his face. "I'll stay. Just let go of me before I start to scream."

Hesitantly, he released my arms from his hold. I shook my head, moments from boiling over, when he wouldn't move, watching as he licked his bottom lip.

"Move" I ordered.

I rolled my eyes and grit my teeth because he kept still, and pushed passed him to get back into the living room.

Tears that were threatening to spill during our argument had bubbled out, my shaky hands quickly wiped them away.

Sharise grabbed at my hand as I got to the bottom of the stairs, gently tugging on it. "Are you okay? Your eyes...they're so red."

"I'm fine" I rubbed my lips together before I sent her a weak smile. "I'm just gonna head to bed now. I'm--uh, a little tired."

"Oh, alright--"

I didn't give her enough time to formulate an actual response, because before she knew it, I was breaking away from her and storming upstairs, seeking refuge in one of our guest bedrooms.

What a way to start 1986. A shitty beginning to an even shittier year.

Seven days earlier, Christmas Eve.

Fairy lights wrapped around thick, green branches illuminated the room as I sat next to the Christmas tree with a glass of wine. I exhaled with a smile, feeling at peace and somewhat content.

A flash reflected off of the baubles in front of me, and the sound of a camera clicking pulled me from my Pinot induced, Christmas daydream.

"Did you just take a picture of me?" Nikki nodded with a boyish grin as my face fell. "I'm wearing my pajamas...Nikki..." I whined.

"You're wearing sexy pajamas. Sexy, red, lacy, extremely see through pajamas" he corrected me and I rolled my eyes. I put the wine glass down onto the table, and rested my back against the couch.

He gestured for me to join him, and I scooted over a bit so I was sat directly in between his legs. He tangled his digits in my hair as he sat forward, my eyes closing ever so slightly at the way he was, probably unintentionally, massaging my scalp in the most soothing way.

Hairs on the back of my neck started to prick up when I felt his hot breath against my neck, a soft kiss landed against my flushed skin.

"I have your favorite..."

He ran a hand over my cheek as I swallowed harshly, trying to resist being coaxed in by heroin.

"I--I'm trying to cut back..." I trailed off. My heart started to hammer against my chest as Nikki laughed softly next to my ear.

"C'mon, baby. It's Christmas" he pressed his lips to my neck and worked his way up to my chin and cheek, until he cupped my face in his hand and tilted it so I was facing him. "One hit before we head out..."

That was enough to sway me.

I don't know why or how, but I decided that quitting would probably be the best for me. I was sick to death of hearing Vince and Tommy and their girls saying that they were worried about me, and I realized quite quickly that if I didn't stop, I probably would've died.

But quitting is hard. Quitting is so fucking hard. Withdrawals kicked my ass the handful of days that we were visiting Tom and Nona, and I wasn't even fully sober then. I thought that, maybe, if I quit--or at least cut back--then that would inspire Nikki to follow suit too.

Obviously....I was wrong.

Tommy's eyes almost bulged from his head at the sight of Nikki and I, finally, making our appearance at his party. My hair slightly tousled, the red satin dress that was hiked up ever so slightly being a clear indication that whatever happened, definitely involved me on all fours.

We were a fucking mess, to put it lightly.

As always, eyes were on us almost all night, and that only ended up pissing him off because that, in turn, meant that he had to keep reassuring everyone around us that we were both alright--which we definitely were not.

I felt bad because I had confided in Heather one night and told her that I wanted to quit smack, and she was so pleased. But the moment that I walked through the front door of her house, barely being able to keep myself up, her whole mood shifted and she refused to talk to me all night.

Vince and Tommy being pissed at me was one thing, but Sharise and Heather being pissed at me was another thing entirely.

Cool hands met my stomach and pulled me backwards, a smile forming at my lips at the feeling of Nikki's head sleepily against my back.

"Mornin'" he mumbled before kissing my shoulder, and pulling himself up.

I turned over so I could lay my head on his chest, but before I could even so much as think about it, he was forcefully pulling the covers off and getting out of bed.

"Merry Christmas to you, too" I sighed out.

He traipsed to the bathroom while I slid on my robe. I waited a couple seconds to see if he was going to come back out, but frowned to myself when I heard him groan on the other side, taking that as my cue to leave him to shooting up or else I would've joined him and broken the promise I had made to myself.

After Tommy's party, my head was in a daze. I felt sick, due to heroin and alcohol, and remarkably nervous as to what the girls would say to me after they arrived at our place in the evening.

"Hey" Nikki sounded somewhat offended as he gestured to the copious amounts of presents in red wrapping paper underneath the Christmas tree, "you didn't open any of your gifts."

"I wanted to wait for you" I replied with a soft smile before bringing the coffee cup to my lips.

"Well I'm here now."

"Alright, let me finish my coffee..."

"Christine" he whined, and I couldn't help but laugh at how impatient he was getting. "Come on, I got something special I need to give you."

I raised a brow, smirking. "You gave that to me last night."

"And I'll give it to you again" he squeezed my ass as I walked up to him, wrapping my arms around his neck. "But not right now" I pouted "I've got one better."

"I doubt it..."

My eyes lit up at the sight of the illuminated tree, suddenly feeling really happy that we decided to put up decorations. It really felt like Christmas '85 was a special one, like it would be the best one yet.

It felt much, much too good to be true.

Nikki forced me to sit down and I met the couch cushion with a giggle, wincing a little due to the sore spot on my left ass cheek.

He handed me a small box with a nervous smile. "Open this one first--"

"--okay, but you have to open that one too" I pointed to a little wooden box right in the middle of two bigger boxes, and he furrowed his brows. "Don't look at me like that, just grab it."

"Fine" he grabbed at it, "but I'm not opening it until you open yours."

I nodded and smiled because Nikki had never been so excited about giving gifts before. He never really cared about Christmas all too much.

I picked at the ribbon that was tightly wound around the red, glittery paper, until it came free and pulled it off. Nikki shifted closer to me and watched my every move, his lips pulling into a grin when he saw the top of the box was exposed.

"What is it..."

I pulled the gift box from the paper and tried to make out what was written on the outside, but the way the light was shining against it, engraved words seemed to be more like faint lines of gibberish.

"Is this" I gasped, giggling a little out of nervousness at the heart shaped, glass, pendant that sat on the end of a dainty silver chain. "Is this a vial necklace?"

He nodded. "But it's not just any old vial necklace. It's a blood vial necklace."

"Where's the blood?" I questioned.

"In my hand" he stated as if it was obvious. "I didn't get the chance to put it in there because I lost my fuckin' switchblade, but that's what I wanted to do."

"Oh...Well, in that case, I think you really need to open that box."

"Huh?"

"Nikki, just open the fucking box" I ordered with a laugh before looking down at my brand new jewelry, running my thumb over it.

He knitted his brows together when he fiddled with the gold clasp, but soon started to shake his head with a genuine, toothy smile.

"To Nikki,

I'm sorry that you lost your blade, I know how badly you loved it....but I hope that this one will be just as important to you. I picked it out myself and got it engraved for you, with your name, so everybody will be able to tell who it belongs to if it ever gets lost.

Merry Christmas, honey.

Lots of love, your favorite girl, Christine. xxx"

"And what is that?" I asked smartly.

"Just the thing I wanted. Thank you, baby" he took the blade out from between the velvet that it was buried in, and held it up to the light. "Shit, that's sharp" he pulled his hand away as he nicked himself, and laughed.

He quickly grabbed the necklace from between my fingers as he held his other hand up a little, trying not to get blood everywhere. I felt my stomach start to churn at the sight of him squeezing his palm so more of that crimson liquid trickled out, and watched in awe as he skillfully filled the vial up to about three quarters of the way full.

"Perfect" Nikki licked his lips and closed the heart, motioning for me to join him on the floor so he could put it around my neck. "Now you'll be able to have a piece of me with you at all times..." he trailed off as he concentrated on unclasping the necklace.

"That's kinda romantic" I stated as he pushed my hair over my left shoulder. "I can't wait to tell everyone that I carry my husband's blood in a tiny jar around my neck."

He laughed, putting the chain to my neck. "Chris, you make it sound fucking psychotic."

"Well, that's what it is" I shrugged.

"You're right. It is. But it's also a nice sentiment" I turned around when the clasp fell flush to my neck, and let him pull me into his chest. "And I was hoping that because it had so much meaning behind it..." he tucked hair behind my ear, licking his lips "...that you'd want to thank me..."

"Oh, I see where this is going. You want me to have sex with you right now because you gave me a necklace that was full of your blood. Interesting..."

Nikki nodded eagerly, earning a smirk from me.

"And I will have sex with you."

"Yes--"

"--but not right now" I teased, quickly pecking his lips. "We have so many more gifts to get through, and that one" I pointed at a tiny box, and he rolled his eyes "is a special one. A very, very special one."

I sat backwards against the couch as Nikki went in to get a handful of gifts and pushed them all towards me, before I directed him to the ones I thought that he should've opened first.

"I don't know whether you'll like this one all that much" my lips pulled into a frown as I started to second guess the gift, "but if you don't, please tell me so I can return it--"

"--holy shit" he cut me off with a gasp and pulled the chain from the box. His eyes lit up "Chris, this is so...fuck. Thank you" I smiled back at him when he couldn't take his eyes off of it.

"I didn't know whether or not to get it because I thought it was a little weird...I mean, I don't really know what those triangle things represent, but I thought it was something that you'd wear."

"It's definitely something that I would wear. I love it" he grinned and looked up to me, before passing over the tiniest box I'd ever seen in my life. "Now, I know it's small--"

"--you know, that's not the first time that you've said that to me."

"Ha ha. Very funny" he let out sarcastically. "I'm serious. I know it's not super exciting to look at, but it's important."

Hesitantly, I took it from him and started to peel off the paper. My brows raised at how well he'd managed to wrap everything, but I then realized that he probably got Heather or Sharise to do it because during the run up to the big day, the both of them were really shifty whenever we'd start to discuss gifts.

Nikki put a hand to my knee when I slowly shut my eyes with a smile, shaking my head a little due to the fact I couldn't believe what I was holding.

"Tell me what you think."

I pouted. Pulling the ring from the box, I felt like I was starting to melt in my seat.

"Did you pick this out yourself?" I asked as he took my hand in his, a few tears spilling over my lashes, and took off my old wedding band.

"I did. I had to guess the size though."

A satisfied hum fell from his lips and I couldn't help but smile at the sight of my brand new wedding ring, diamonds encrusted around the entire band.

"It's beautiful, Nikki, I love it" I put my hand underneath his chin, my thumb softly grazing against his skin "thank you, honey."

Christmas morning/afternoon of '85 was simply the best because Nikki and I were at peace, he wasn't really as fucked up as what he had the potential to be, I was fully sober--but with a raging hangover--and we both enjoyed seeing one another so happy.

We opened a few more gifts, we drank for a little bit, until it was time to get ready for the party that Nikki insisted on hosting for the guys and their girls.

And, honestly...it was a dream.

"Stop it" I giggled in his hold as he pinned me between his body and the counter, feeling heat wash over me while I was trying to pour another glass of wine. "Nikki...we have our guests."

Calloused fingertips brushed against my cheek and Nikki's lips met mine as I moved my head to get a better look at him over my shoulder. A gentle moan into his mouth caused him to buck his hips forward, my hands quickly gripped the edge of the granite to stabilize myself while my legs turned to jello.

"Fuck the guests" he spoke against my ear, his fingers moving away from my cheek and all the way down my torso, to my hips until they met the hem of my skirt. "It's Christmas."

"You've already used that line, Sixx--" my breath hitched at the gentility of his touch. Eyes slightly heavy because I was high on cocaine and Nikki's hand pushing my skirt up, grazing my skin in the process, was almost making me come undone on the spot.

He knew what he was doing.

Long, loose curls were being wrapped around thick digits as Nikki's left hand met my neck and slowly pushed my body forward. My skirt sat around my waist and I heard him let out a groan at the sight of me, bent over the countertop, completely bare from the waist down, just waiting for him to have his way with me while our friends were completely oblivious in the living room.

The sound of a belt buckle coming undone and hitting the floor forced a smile to my face, my bottom lip slowly getting caught between my teeth.

"Merry Christmas, angel" he spoke roughly against my ear, before he was pulling away.

A few seconds passed and I was about to open my mouth to speak, but a moan soon slipped out at the feeling of Nikki rubbing his tip along my pussy, eyes rolled back even at the slightest ounce of contact.

"Merry Christmas..." I managed to repeat back, before my nails were clawing at the granite as Nikki was pushing himself in hilt deep without giving me so much as a seconds warning before doing so.

He forcefully pulled my dress down so my tits were fully exposed, and I was left with only the fabric bunched up around my stomach, and my heels that I was struggling to keep myself upright whilst wearing. My lips parted as I whimpered, feeling his right hand squeezing my tit before toying with my nipple.

Cocaine made me feel as though I was floating on a little cloud while Nikki was erratically thrusting into me as if his life depended on it--when in reality he wanted to fuck me as quickly as he could before any of the guys noticed we were missing, because not only did they all have plans to leave the girls and I to ourselves for the night, but he wanted to make sure that I was taken care of until he came back. And a quickie in the kitchen did just that.

"Jesus, Chris" he rasped out, feeling me quickly come undone under his hold, but continued to thrust against him because one orgasm was just never enough.

Another started to build when Nikki pulled out and forcefully turned me around, making me sit at the very edge of the countertop before he was jacking himself off and going straight back in.

Ruby red fingernails scratched against the back of his neck, my head craned ever so slightly due to immense pressure building over and over, but Nikki cupped my chin to make me look directly at him as I came again.

He smirked devilishly at the way I was squirming, how my tits bounced against my chest the harder he was with me, how I couldn't seem to look at him for too long before my eyes started to get heavy, how I tried to speak but no words seemed to form, how my nails dug into his tender flesh harder which meant he got rougher with me.

My legs started to shake and I couldn't help but let out a very elongated moan. "Nikki!" I practically cried out, giving absolutely zero shits at how loud I was, because Vince had definitely already clocked us through the glass door--really didn't think that one through.

"God, you're so fuckin' wet" he groaned out, pushing himself deeper.

Swollen lips met my shoulder as he leaned forward, teeth nipping at the skin which caused my body to jolt forward a little. My overstimulated clit was further abused the second his pointer and middle fingers started to sweep their way across it, my legs tightening around his waist to add more pressure to pursue a more intense, third orgasm.

My walls tightened around his cock as I felt my release once more, soaking him completely, causing him to slow his pace and throw his head back as he let out a broken sigh of relief. Before I knew it, Nikki was filling me up completely, making one hell of a mess of my inner thighs.

He pulled out and smirked down at me, his eyes clouded over before they glanced to the state he left me in. "Shit. Sorry, babe" he let out a laugh and reached for the dish towel next to the sink. "Here. You, uh..." he pointed to the cum trailing down my thigh.

"Thanks" I rolled my eyes, took it from him and hopped off the counter, cleaning myself up.

After a few moments, Nikki and I headed straight back to the living room to join everybody. Sharise side eyed me with a grin as I sat next to her, and the guys started to laugh at the way Nikki had forgotten to buckle his belt back up.

"Christine, you got a little something..." Vince pointed to my shoulder, and I blushed upon noticing the giant hickey that Nikki had planted there.

Tommy shot out of his seat to get a closer look and laughed. "Holy shit. Dude, that is impressive."

Heather and I rolled our eyes at exactly the same time, before Nikki got up and slid his jacket on.

"Where do you think you're going?" I asked with a slight frown.

"We're heading to the Whisky. You three can come too. If you wanna" he shrugged and grabbed his bike keys. I gave him a stern look but he smiled back at me. "Don't say it. I'm not fucked up, alright? We're just gonna meet with Robbin and Stephen because we aren't gonna get the chance before we head back on the road."

"Oh yeah, I forgot. You don't have the chance to get hammered any other day, right?"

"Don't start shit today, Chris" he let out a defeated sigh, not wanting to argue. "I'll be back in a few hours. I'll see you later, babe."

"Alright, whatever."

I leaned backwards with my wine glass as the four of them got up to leave, raising a brow when Nikki traipsed over to me, smiling. "Aren't you gonna say bye to me?"

"Bye" I stated flatly.

"You can do better than that."

"Okay. Goodbye, Nikki, I'll see you tomorrow when I wake up and notice that you're not next to me and you come home six hours later claiming that there was 'heavy traffic.'"

Sharise let out a giggle and Heather almost choked on her drink, causing me to smile a little, noticing the way frustration washed over Nikki's face."

"I'll see you later, Chris" he pecked my lips, "don't wait up for me."

"I won't."

Nikki rolled his eyes before the four of them trailed out of the front door, and Heather let out the most hearty laugh that I had ever heard.

"You're such a bitch when you want to be! I love it!!"

"Me too" Sharise added, nodding "I've never seen this side of you, Chris. I'm really liking it."

I smiled, satisfied that the two of them were no longer mad at me after Nikki and I pulled whatever it was that we did on Christmas Eve.

In two minds whether or not to tell them about my little decision to, try to, quit smack, I came to the conclusion that they would be supportive and would definitely want to help me more than what Nikki would've.

"I've always been like it. Before I started using, I was always such a little bitch--and that's when Nikki and I first started to fool around. Ever since, I've kinda been really submissive and never noticed until Vince pointed it out one time."

I let out a deep breath, turning to face the pair of them.

"I'm trying to quit heroin."

"What?! That's great!"

I thanked Heather with a smile. "I'm trying very hard. I shot up a couple times yesterday, definitely not as much as usual, and I haven't touched it today--if you didn't already tell" I said in reference to the way my hands were shaking, and I was starting to show other signs of withdrawals.

Sharise scooted closer to me and put a hand on top of my shoulder, pushing my hair to the side. "God. I'm so glad you're doing this for yourself, Christine. Maybe this will inspire Nikki to slow down a little, too."

"Maybe" I licked my lips and nodded, knowing full well that it absolutely wouldn't. "I'm still using cocaine, but I thought kicking heroin first might help me to slowly cut out blow too...at least that's what I'm hoping for."

I was so pleased at that moment in time when Heather and Sharise showed me their unconditional support. Considering those women had only been in my life for a matter of months, I was remarkably grateful.

Never in a million years did I think that I would have that sort of support system, especially because my husband and all of his friends were just as much addicts as what he was, and all of my family was either dead or in Vancouver. Having those two women, so eager to help me, made me feel like I could conquer anything. A lot can be said for having only two extremely close friends.

After talking about gifts and finishing off a couple of bottles of wine, the three of us were feeling pretty buzzed. Despite our respective men ditching us for their friends and cheap liquor, we were having the best Christmas evening we possibly could've.

"Chris!" Sharise yelled to me as I was in the kitchen, scrambling around to find some spoons that hadn't been used to heat heroin in, but coming up blank. "Someone's at the door!"

"Alright" I mumbled, slamming the drawer shut in frustration due to the fact I couldn't ever seem to find anything in my own house anymore.

I traipsed through the living room and into the passageway, furrowing my brows. If it was Nikki I'm sure he would've just burst through the door, and it couldn't have been Robbin or Stephen because that's who Nikki was out with.

A woman, who was easily a full three inches shorter than me, stared out into my yard with a smile on her face. Chocolate strands cascaded to her shoulders, almost grazing over the silk dress that accentuated her slight frame.

"Hi?" I snapped her from her daze and she looked up at me, with blushed cheeks. "Can I help you?"

"I'm here to see Nikki" she told me politely.

"Oh. He's not here right now" I couldn't help but smile back at her, my eyes following her features in awe. Her beauty was admirable. "Can I take a name? I'll make sure to let him know that you stopped by."

"Sure. The names Denise. But Nikki knows me as Vanity."

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