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tw//abuse
He's coming over right now, and I'm about to shit myself I'm so scared.
"You promise you'll stay on the phone?" I ramble to Harry who's on the other end of the line. The band is busy tonight at the premiere for their concert movie, This Is Us, but tonight is the only time that Bennett has been free since football practice started at the beginning of the month.
Senior year starts Monday, and Jane is currently staying late at the elementary school to prepare her classroom.
"I promise. He's almost there, right? I just got off the carpet and management is going to make me put my phone up once the film starts," Harry yells over all of the chaos surrounding him.
"Oh!" I jump with minuscule excitement at the sight of Bennett's monstrous truck's headlights lighting up my small driveway. "He's here!" I bring my nails up to my mouth and start nervously biting them as I scurry over to the small dining table in our great room. I can practically taste my freedom it's so close.
"Don't worry. Do everything just like we talked about. Leave your phone on the dining table, but not on speaker so he doesn't-"
"Hear you. I know," I laugh giddily, interrupting his repeated statement that he's gone over with me everyday since the awards on Sunday. "Keep him outside so he can't get in and corner me, make it short and sweet, kindly tell him to fuck off, and then lock him out forever. Bing, bang, boom. Done."
A loud knock bangs against the flimsy front door, jolting me out of my joking conversation and stealing away some of the excitement I felt. Nerves that I didn't want but definitely expected start to build deep inside of me, but I try my best to gulp them down with a deep breath in and out. This will all be worth it once Bennett Cameron is gone and out of my life for good. After all, Harry and I's plan is completely fool proof. What can go wrong?
"He's at the door, Harry."
"You've got this, Georgia Rose. I'll be right here, I promise," Harry beams through the phone, trying to sound as enthusiastic as possible for my sake.
"Thanks, Harold. Okay, I'm setting the phone down now," I shout into the phone as I pull it from my ear and set it on the table.
Knowing that he's here, if not physically but still listening, makes this easier. It reminds me of why and who I'm doing this for. Of course I need to get out of this for myself, but I never would have found the courage to if it hadn't been for Harry. Also, the thought of my poor mother finding out the real truth about Bennett would probably kill her, so there's that aspect.
I rub my sweaty palms against the blue jean fabric of my shorts as I head for the door, too many thoughts to focus on just one swirling through my brain.
Why hasn't Harry brought up what happened between us in that dressing room?
Will he ever?
Is he waiting for me to? Should I? Do I even want to? Was I really that bad?
Do I want to pursue a relationship with Harry so soon after the toxicity of this one, or do I need some time alone?
All this and more races around a track in my mind, the turning wheels of each thought kicking up large clouds of dust that make it hard to discern how I feel about any of it.
One more deep breath rakes down my body before I unlatch the lock with slightly shaky fingers and begin to turn the rusted knob. I open the door just a crack and keep both hands braced against it, ready to shut it if things go south.
Bennett stands there, looking just as adorable as ever with his bright eyes, slicked back blonde hair, and boyish face to contrast a buff and athletic body. That's what drew me in, but his abusive personality that he hid so well for so long is what is pushing me out. He's covered in darkness from the nighttime sky, our porch light shining a yellow hue on his face.
"Hi," I squeak, suddenly remembering his hands on me the last time we faced each other.
"Are you gonna let me in?" He asks with confusion, moving forward a little to try and push past me, but I clutch the door tighter and close it more to give him the hint that he won't be coming inside- not now, or ever again. In a way, the door is a metaphor for my heart and my poisoned mind that I'm trying desperately to cure.
"Nope," I say a little too harshly, eyes beginning to water as I force myself to stare into his. His aqua blue irises darken a little and squint in confusion, looking as if he wants to push his way in, but he stays steady.
"We're done," I blurt, cutting right to the chase. The boy instantly screws his face up into a cocky smolder that looks like he is about to say something, but I cut him off. "I mean it this time, B. Save your fucking threats, because quite frankly I don't give a shit. Now I want you off my property," I hiss, losing steam at the sight of his demeanor quickly changing into one I don't like, but the thought of Harry still being on the phone is like an extra layer of armor.
I go to slam the door in his face, not caring at all about what bullshit he has to say, but he jams his foot in between the door and the frame, forcefully pushing it open and nearly knocking me down as I whimper in shock. My eyes widen at the sight of Bennett storming into the house and slamming the door with so much force that the pictures hanging on the walls shake from the impact. Nothing is going to plan.
"It's that pussy Harry, isn't it?" Bennett growls, voice raising and eyes going black with rage. He's prowling towards me with such hunger that I back into the dining table, wood digging harshly into my spine. I risk glancing over my shoulder to see my phone screen has gone black, but that doesn't mean Harry hung up, right? He's still here. I can still stay strong as long as he's here.
"N-no. No, Bennett, it isn't. It's me," I round the table, continuing to back up slowly and not daring to take my eyes off the quickly angering monster who's heading towards me. "I'm sick of being treated like your fucking property!"
"I knew I shouldn't have let you go to New York. You're such a cheap whore, you know that?" Bennett taunts, licking his lips and continuing to smirk like the sociopath he is.
My entire body tenses at his words, but not in fear- in pure rage. "Harry is twice the man you'll ever be!" I sneer, screaming so loud in anger that my voice cracks. Red heat starts to build up in my cheeks. "He's intelligent, and he's talented, and he's kind, and he's secure with his masculinity unlike you! He doesn't live his life constantly feeling the need to prove he has a dick!"
Oh shit. I've really done it now. My life practically flashes before my eyes, and any confidence I had amassed is now fleeting as I whip around and bolt at the sight of Bennett losing his mind with rage and running at me, no sign of restraint apparent in his animalistic moves and lustful eyes.
My living room is so small that I don't make it far before his arm is wrapping around my middle, and something inside of me pushes out a strangled scream for a pair of green eyes and the protection I wish he was physically here to give me. "Harry!" My voice cracks making my throat ache instantly like hot glass is digging within every fiber.
"Harry!" I cry out again through terrified hot tears as Bennett keeps one arm around my waist, nearly squeezing the life out of me while the other hand traces a line across the slightly exposed stomach at the top of my shorts. He pushes me forward into the wall and presses himself into me from the back, breathing heavily into my ear, light laughter passing through his mouth and pushing hot air against my cheek.
"Why are you calling out for him, Belle? I doubt Pretty Boy can make you feel the way I do," he growls into the side of my face, sneaking his hand a little farther into the top of my shorts making me loudly whimper in fear and disgust.
This isn't happening.
This isn't happening.
This isn't happening. I'm going to throw up.
I won't let this happen.
"You only ever last about two minutes, you sick fuck!" I sneer with a strained voice from all the stress and the onslaught of tears pouring down my face that's roughly pressed against the chipped paint on the wall. "You've never made me feel anything!"
Winding up my foot, I take advantage of his hyper sexual state and slam the heel of my barefoot as hard as I can onto his toes, getting a sliver of satisfaction at the crunch I feel and the roar of pain he lets out. However, my triumph doesn't last long, because Bennett is throwing me around so fast that the world spins as he presses me into the wall and grabs my face harshly with his rough hand, the insanity in his eyes bleeding out into his body language.
"I bet you lied when you told me your first time was with me. You fucked him like the gold digging slut you are, didn't you?" Bennett fumes into my face, pressing his fingers into my cheeks harder with every passing second.
"I thought you didn't like cursing," I grind my teeth to hide my trembling lip and try to tear my face from his hand but fail, only making his grip tighten.
"That's probably why your mother's marriage to your father didn't work out. He saw right through her pretty face after awhile and got sick of her when he realized she was only in it for his money. Like mother like daughter, right?"
Fury vibrates my entire being at the fact that he is bringing my mother and father into this. His completely false and utterly low blow is worse than any physical pain he could inflict on me. The stupid look on his face is so smug like he thinks he's won and finally knocked me down a few pegs.
It pisses me off so much that I gather as much spit in my mouth as I can and spew it in his face, hitting my bullseye when it lands in his eyes- the eyes that haunt me every time I sleep.
Suddenly, he's rearing back his hand and connecting it so hard to my face that when it whips to the side, my eyes go out of focus from the hot pain searing into the side of my face from the slap. Another strangled cry escapes from my lips when Bennett grabs my shoulders and starts shaking me harshly.
"Do you enjoy making me do this to you?" The intense screaming of his voice makes me cry harder and shiver with fear despite his close proximity and the sweat beading on his forehead.
"Ben-" I try to plead with him through shaky cries.
"Shut up!" He explodes, his face going beat red and his entire body shaking. An angry vein pops up in his forehead, bulging with the sheer volume of his voice. His face is only inches from mine now, so close that our noses barely brush each other.
I hardly recognize Bennett anymore. He's absolutely lost his mind, and the fear I feel at this realization is staggering. I've never felt such terror in my life. The feeling of my stomach rising into my throat and threatening to spew out of my mouth isn't something I'm too fond of.
"I love you, Belle! Can't you see that?" He lets go of me and starts running his hands through his hair vigorously, breathing roughly through his open mouth. His eyes are wide, almost popping out of his head.
"This isn't love," I cry. "I don't love you! I never have! Why do you think I never said it back?"
Bennett looks at me as if I'm the insane person in the room, and the look on his face is so crazy that I almost don't know what to make of it other than the immense horror it causes me. I know what's coming when he raises his hand again... at least I thought I did.
His rock hard fist smashes into my jaw and sends me hurtling to the ground, the pain in my face so intense that all I can see for a moment is stars. A warm liquid begins to drip down my face, blood gracing my fingers and dripping onto my white shirt as I pull my hand away from my split cheek bone.
"Shit," Bennett, the perfect boy who used to hate such dirty words breathes out in exasperation. "Say you're sorry, Belle. Say you're sorry for making me do that!" His voice shakes as he begins to cry tears of insanity.
My eyes dart to the door first, and then to the phone on the table, stomach dropping even farther if at all possible. Harry. He's heard this entire thing. Oh my god, he's heard this entire thing! I need to get to that phone and then get the hell out of here.
"No!" I turn towards Bennett and scream over my shaking shoulder. "Get away from me!" I shout as I start hastily crawling away and struggling to get to my feet.
A blazing fire spreads through my head as Bennett grabs a fistful of hair and pulls me to my feet with a blood curdling scream. My hands instinctively reach up and latch on to the area he's pulling, more screams of pain escaping from my lips. "Let me go!" I breathily pant, panic beginning to overtake my mind as my eyes widen.
He pulls me close, hand still gripping my brown hair as he closes his eyes and begins running his nose against my wet cheek. I swear he starts breathing in my scent, and the simple thought of that makes me scream the loudest I have all night.
"Bennett, please," I shriek out through intense body shaking sobs. I'm so scared of what he's going to do that I can hardly think straight, but the thought his potential violation is enough to get me blabbering even though I don't understand half of the things coming out of my own mouth. "Just let me go. If you really love me, you'll stop. If you really love me, you'll let me go, and you'll leave."
Something about that shakes him somehow, and his body softens. His hold on my hair lets up, and I immediately take the opportunity to sprint away from him, arms wrapping protectively around myself. I fearfully look at him, my body shaking as I watch the realization reach his eyes like a man possessed regaining control of his body.
Bennett reaches out to me gently, but I flinch back instantly, not wanting to be anywhere near him ever again.
"Belle," he whispers in disbelief.
"Just go," I blurt. "Just go, Bennett."
"Belle, I-"
"Go!" I scream so loud that I make myself jump. "Get the hell out of my house, and don't ever speak to me again! Don't speak to me, don't touch me, don't even look at me! Do you understand?"
He flounders around for a moment like the decision is hard to make. In this moment, while I watch my first real boyfriend- my first and only toxic boyfriend come back to life after physically abusing me, I make a promise to myself that I will never be blinded by emotions again. Like a power switch, I turn them off. I feel nothing again.
I can't let myself feel anything ever again in fear that it will lead me right back here just like it did for my mother.
Without a word, Bennett turns around and hurriedly walks to the door, throwing it open and slamming it shut behind him. I let out a strangled gasp at the sheer shock running through my system that he actually did it. He actually left!
Running to the door, I quickly lock it in fear that he'll come back, leaning against the wood and putting my hand against my mouth to muffle the cries escaping from my lips. Every inch of my face throbs and warm blood still continues to trickle from the cut in my cheek. My tense muscles won't seem to relax despite the threat being gone, and the adrenalin continues to pulse through me despite my slowing breaths.
Suddenly my phone screen lights up, my ringtone blaring. I squint my eyes in confusion before hesitantly making my way towards it.
Harry's name lights up the screen. My shaking hands pick up the device and slide to answer, quelling the ringing that was making my head hurt. "Hello?" I whisper.
"Hey! How'd it go? I'm so sorry, but my manager made me hang up right after you set the phone down. I told him I was going to take a wee so that I could call you back," Harry says nonchalantly, yet even though I should be sad, scared or even angry... I'm just numb.
"It went fine."
Harry begins to ramble on his congrats to me, but the entire time I hear absolutely nothing but the ringing in my hears from the pain radiating through me.
"Harry?" I interrupt with a dull tone of voice.
"Y-yeah?" He hesitates in return.
"Tour for your new album starts in April right?"
"Yes."
"Good. I'm coming."
And I can lend you broken parts that might fit like this, and I will give you all my heart, so we can start it all over again.