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"Happy birthday dear, Liam. Happy birthday to you!" We all finish singing as the freshly eighteen year old boy blows out the candles on the cake his mother made for him. As the cheers for the birthday boy continue, I can't help but drift off into the empty kitchen to be alone with my thoughts.
I'm leaving tomorrow, and it will all be over. I'll go back to high school and the boys will go on tour. Life will go back to normal as if this summer never happened.
Ever since the news of my dad's engagement, the boys have been nothing but supportive, but I can't help that I've been pulling away. The inevitable separation will be easier if I start distancing myself now.
As I'm leaning against the kitchen counter with my head down, hair hanging in a curtain around my face, I can hear the hum of several different conversations from the other room. They're mostly about how the boys will release their first song soon, followed by their album, and then they'll be on the road for months on end.
The six of us haven't talked about it much, but when we have they all promise to call, and I'm sure they will at first. It won't take long before they get distracted. Of course, I could be pleasantly surprised, but the pessimist in me thinks otherwise.
My whirlwind summer is over, and it'll probably be the last one I ever have. I'll go back to being a hermit with no friends, only hanging on to the amazing rollercoaster of emotions that I felt in the summer of 2011.
Time escaped me, and it all went by faster than I thought it would, but I know I'll hold on to these moments forever.
"What are you doing in here? Everyone's lookin' for ya," Louis rounds the corner into the kitchen, but his smile darkens when I look up and he sees the salt water running down my face. He seems shocked, but no one is more surprised than me at the tears shedding from my eyes.
"I hope you know these stupid tears are because of you," I sniffle, hiding my face in my hands as Louis rushes forward and wraps his arms tightly around my shaking body.
"But I don't want my best girl to cry over me," Lou breathes into my hair, hugging me even tighter. Despite the comfort I feel from him, it isn't enough to stop the flood pouring from my eyes that I wish would stop so badly. I've spent years building this dam, only to have it break over five stupid boys who have all managed to steal my heart in different ways. They are my home.
"It isn't just you," I sniffle into his chest. "It's all of you. You're all gonna leave and forget about me, and for good reason too!" I yell as I pull away, tensing my shoulders and throwing my hands up. "God, why can't I stop crying? This is so-"
I suddenly get caught off guard by his lips pressing against mine. It surprises me so much that I stand still, letting it happen for a moment before quickly pulling away with wide eyes. At least the tears finally stopped, leaving streaks of shimmering water on my splotchy face.
My red rimmed eyes search Louis', looking for anything other than admiration, but come up empty handed. I wanted to avoid this so badly, but as The Rolling Stones always say, you don't always get what you want.
"Louis, what-"
"Belle, I-I'm sorry if that took you off guard," Louis surges forward, taking my hands in his, but all I can do is pull away with wide eyes. "But you're not the only one that this is affecting."
"You shouldn't have done that," I mutter while backing away. The feeling of fresh tears prick my eyes.
"And why not?" Louis questioningly pleads with saddened eyes. "I know it hasn't been long, but Beauty, I think I love-"
"Don't say that!" I blurt, raising my voice slightly.
"Why? I do, and I can't help how I feel!" Louis laments, showing the first signs of frustration I've seen from his usually happy and joyous persona. To see someone like Louis destroy himself over me is like a stab in the gut that I hoped to avoid.
"You don't love me, Lou. You only think you do!" I shake my head furiously, tears threatening to spill over when I see movement out of the corner of my eye. However I choose to ignore it, giving Louis my full attention.
"Didn't know you could read minds," the blue eyed boy sasses, his frustration quickly transforming into anger.
"Whether you know it or not, I'm just a conquest for you- something you know you can't have, so you're only telling yourself that you love me! Louis, I'm not even sure I'm worthy of love. I sure as hell don't believe in it!" I start off yelling but quickly lower my voice, because the last thing I want is to ruin Liam's birthday with my petty drama.
"Why would you even say something like that?" He questions with genuine hurt in his eyes.
"Because it's true!" I cry out, shrugging up my tense shoulders. "I'm sorry, Lou. I'm so, so sorry. I care about you a lot. I care about all of you so much- more than I ever thought I would be capable of. And you know, maybe it is love, but if that's the case then this just proves me right. Love only results in pain."
"So you're saying there's no chance of you ever feeling anything like what I feel for you," Louis whispers, tears falling gently down his face.
At the sight of him crying, it feels like someone just punched me so hard in the gut that the air is knocked from my lungs, and it keeps happening over and over. Yet I deserve every bit of it.
"Please don't cry," I beg, sobbing even harder now.
He's shaking his head, that messy brown hair that I noticed when I first met him flopping slightly. "I already know the answer, Belle, but I need to hear you say it."
My bottom lip trembles as my stomach tears itself apart. Every breath I take shakes my body with a sob. I take a shaky gasp of air as I finally say what he wants to hear, "I'll never feel anything for any of you. None of you are anything more than a friend."
The tears are gushing out as my body silently sobs. Through the glossiness of my eyes, I see Louis tense up as his ocean blue irises land on something to my right- the doorway to my right that I noticed movement in earlier.
When I turn, I see Harry standing there.
He heard everything.
Why does it hurt me that he heard everything?
The look on his face is-
"Woah! What's going on in here? Belle, hope you're not crying because of me. I promise we'll all miss ya just as much as you'll miss us and our good looks," Niall Horan runs in, followed by a giddy Liam and Zayn.
They're all completely oblivious to the truth of the situation as they round everyone up into a hug- probably the last hug I'll ever share with them.
Heart beats harder, time escapes me. Trembling hands touch skin, it makes this harder. And the tears stream down my face.