Chapter Thirteen –
“Okay, I can’t take this anymore. What happened between Caleb and you? You guys have been avoiding each other like the plague for two weeks!” Nora exclaimed, accidentally pushing me against the wall of the cafeteria and away from the ears of the rest of the group.
“What? Nothing happened.” I assured her with a confused look that I hoped she would fall for.
I watched as her eyes narrowed as she studied my expression for a moment, before shaking her head. “I don’t believe you.”
I raised my eyebrow. “Okay? Nothing happened Nora; Caleb’s just… being Caleb.”
Nora started nodding. “Okay, okay.” She went silent for a moment while still continuing to nod. “That’s actually funny considering Caleb told me you guys kissed!”
My eyes widened for a fraction of a second before I feigned shock. “Whaaaaaaaaaah?”
“Don’t you use that tone with me!” Nora growled, hitting the side of my arm with her nostrils flared.
“I’m sorry?” I muttered weakly, rubbing the arm she hit.
“What happened?!” She exclaimed with a stressed out expression.
I sighed. “Nora. Not now. Its lunch, and I’m hungry. I’ll go to your room after my victimology class and tell you everything. Deal?”
“Don’t you dare lie about this! My entire existence is hanging on this story you know! Ugh Caleb is the worst when it comes to details!”
I stopped for a moment. “I… um, how much did Caleb tell you exactly?”
“Just that you kissed and he hates you!” She sulked.
My expression fell as Nora’s words registered in my brain. “Did he… did he really say he hates me?”
“Yes even though we both know that’s not true since he has feelings for you and vice versa.” She waved me off, before speaking up again. “That’s why I need to know the entire story! What did you do for him to be so cynical?”
“Wasn’t he always like that?”
“Not since you came along! He was talking to people! Look at him now! He just sulkily sits there with that brooding expression that makes him look angry all the time!”
I frowned before we both unconsciously turned to look at Caleb. Unfortunately, he looked in our direction at the exact same time. Our eyes met for a fraction of a second before we both looked away.
“Oh my god.” Nora squeaked. “I saw that tension! You are a cruel, cruel friend Ella Parker. I cannot believe you’re making me wait.”
I cleared my throat before putting a small smile on my face and patting Nora’s shoulder. “I’m sorry.”
“You should be.” Nora grumbled, crossing her arms.
“What ‘ya gals talkin’ about here?” Jackson suddenly appeared beside us, making both Nora and myself jump in fright.
“Nora was just asking about a dress she wanted to borrow.” I answered quickly.
Jackson raised an eyebrow. “You don’t own any dresses, newbie.”
I tried to look insulted. “I do so!”
“No, you told me at D2 when we went a while back.”
“Shoot.” I muttered, looking down at my converse.
“What Ella was meant to say,” Nora laughed while giving me a warning look before continuing, “was that she was meant to give a dress back that she borrowed from me.”
“Ah, I get it. The ‘cover up’. I understand. You don’t want to tell me. Girl stuff. That’s okay.” Jackson started to walk backwards with his hands up in defence. “I’ll just leave you two to bitch about me and our group alone. That’s right; don’t think I didn’t see those glances at our table.”
Nora sighed with a grin. “Shut up you baby.” She pushed him away and he began to laugh, making me smirk at the adoring look in his eyes.
“Okay guys, I’m going to leave you now. I have to get to class. I’ll see you afterwards for our ‘talk’.” I turned to Nora with a dispirited expression.
“Yeah you will!” She growled with a determined look.
I nodded slowly and began to walk away backwards, making it obvious that her wide eyes were freaking me out. I began to smile as her eyes widened even more at my motion before my back made contact with something warm and solid.
I hand flew over my mouth in shock as my eyes widened before I turned around. “I’m so sor-”
“Move.” Caleb scowled, cutting me off.
“O- O- Okay.” I stuttered, stumbling out of the way. Caleb made his way over to Nora, whose grin reappeared on her lips once she watched the first interaction between my roommate and me for two weeks.
I began to walk away from the group and Caleb as quickly as possible. Just as I pushed the cafeteria doors open, another female voice joined me. “You’re being an idiot, you know.”
I turned to the side to find Portia’s steps falling in line with my own. “Care to explain the reason behind your opinion of me?”
“I know you think I’m a bitch,” She began, and I didn’t stop to disagree with her, “Everyone thinks that. I just really like Caleb. He clearly doesn’t return the feelings, but he definitely likes you – well, as much as a guy like him can like someone anyway.”
I nodded slowly, not understanding why I was the idiot just yet. “Right…”
“All I’m saying is that you should give him a chance. What is your reason behind not talking to him anyway? Apart from the fact that you guys kissed.” I opened my mouth to ask her how she knew that but she held up a hand to stop me. “It’s so obvious. I’m not sure how the other morons in our group haven’t picked up on it.”
A frown appeared on my forehead as I looked down at my ballet flats. “I don’t want to get into any sort of relationship.”
“Why?” She pressed.
“It’s complicated.” I sighed, not liking where this conversation was heading.
“Okay, whatever personal vendetta you have going on emotionally really shouldn’t get in the way of you getting into relationships. You’re so emotionally detached from everything you do like you’re afraid if you get too close, something will explode.” She threw her hands up in the air to make her words more dramatic.
I raised an eyebrow at her, trying to keep my expression neutral. “Have you been watching me? That’s kind of creepy, we’ve barely spoken since I first got here.”
“I’m a psych student.”
“And that’s supposed to make me feel any better?” I asked, my eyebrow remaining raised.
“Don’t try and change the subject. I’m here to set you straight. Talk to Caleb. You’re making a mistake with this whole silent act thing you have going on.” Portia stopped in front of the lecture hall I was about to enter for my first class of the day and crossed her arms.
“I don’t recall asking your opinion on what I should do to get Caleb and I on good terms again. Like I mentioned before, we’ve barely spoken ever since I arrived here. What’s in this for you?”
Portia’s eyes narrowed at my question before her face fell as she sighed. “I just want Caleb to be happy… and I think if he were with you that would happen.”
I frowned, still not convinced. “Even if we did rush into this like you want, it wouldn’t work out and it would be worse than it is to you right now.”
“Why?” She exclaimed.
“Because! I know nothing about his past or him in general! Just little things I’ve picked up here and there from you guys or during those rare times where we’re having a civil conversation! And the same applies to him with me.” I pointed out, readjusting my bag on my shoulder.
“That’s what being together is for! Come on, do you think Nora and Jacob knew every little detail about each other when they first started dating? No. What about Brad and Angelina and Beyoncé and Jay-Z? Obviously not!”
I cleared my throat awkwardly, unsure of how to respond to the new, more open and definitely nicer side of Portia. “The last two are celebrities. They don’t count as valid examples.”
“I just need you to give him a go. Please. I really think… I really think seeing him with you will help me get over him…” She trailed off, looking down at her shiny pumps.
I sighed again and patted her shoulder uncomfortably. “Portia, I’m pretty sure me getting with Caleb isn’t going to erase your feelings for him.”
“Oh my god. You’re getting with Caleb?!” A familiar voice squeaked from behind me.
My eyes widened as I turned to Linda, shaking my head. “No! No I’m not.”
“Why?” She sulked. “I’ve been shipping you and him since our first class together!”
“Okay, you and Nora need to get more adequate hobbies.” I grumbled, blushing slightly.
“And Leyla.” Linda added with a grin.
I groaned. “Not her as well. Why are all of you girls turning against me on this?!”
“Because we can see what you are refusing to. Also, it’s not only the girls, Jackson and Harry are on board with us as well.” Portia spoke up, bringing her pin straight hair over her shoulders to frame her face.
“Okay, I’m not discussing this with you guys right now. I have class to get you, and you two have fantasies to set straight.” I gave them both stern looks and crossed my arms for effect.
“Just promise me you’ll talk to him. You may not think it, but I really think it’ll help what I told you about earlier.” Portia gave me one last look, before walking off in the direction we came from.
“When I saw her following you out the cafeteria, I thought she was going to harass you or be mean or something… you almost look like you’re on good terms with each other now…” Linda trailed off, watching Portia’s retreating figure.
I frowned in confusion as I replayed our talk in my mind. “Yeah… I think we kind of are.” I murmured. “Anyway, let’s go inside and sit down. I feel like I’ve been standing forever.”
Linda laughed at my laziness and followed me into the lecture hall while my mind raced with new thoughts about Caleb.
***
“And you swear you haven’t left anything out?” Nora’s eyes turned wide as she watched me sigh.
“Yes. I promise.” I replied heftily, giving her an annoyed look. This was the third time I had to repeat the sequence of events to her within the hour I had been here
“Okay. I really think you two need to get together.” She responded in a definite tone.
“So you’ve been saying since I went over to his place for dinner.” I mused, reaching over to grab the open packet of chips beside the crossed-legged maniac.
“No, that was just like an ‘aw, you guys really physically suit being next to each other’. This shit is serious!”
“It really is not that serious.” I spoke, before shoving a handful of chips into my mouth.
“Pig.” Nora laughed, before snatching the bag out of my grip. I glared at the gesture, but she continued talking anyway. “Ella, how many more signs do you need? The guy kissed you, indirectly told you he likes yo- shut up and let me finish my sentence, and for crying out loud, Portia told you to give it a go.” She gave me a knowing look, and I averted my eyes from her gaze.
“You guys are making a bigger deal out of this than what it is.” I muttered, staring at the blue flower on Nora’s bed spread.
“No sweetie, you are. All you have to do is talk to the man. That’s all we’re asking.” Nora shrugged before placing a chip in her mouth and setting the bag down on her bed.
I got out of my seated position and took my phone off the charger beside us. “Okay.”
“You don’t need to argue with me on this. I’ve already told you my opinion.” Nora rambled on while opening her mini fridge.
I smiled in amusement and waited for her to turn back to me. “I said okay. I’ll talk to him.”
She blinked back blankly before throwing the can of soft drink onto her bed. “ARE YOU SERIOUS?! YAY! UGH, FINALLY!” She screamed, before running towards me and throwing her arms around me for a hug. I stood with my hands pin straight in an awkward position as I waited for her to let go of me, and she stepped back a moment later with a sheepish grin, “Still not into that whole hugging thing…”
“Yeah.” I laughed, rubbing the side of my arm awkwardly. “Okay, I’m going back to my room.” I announced while I grabbed a hold of the bag of chips.
“Hey, they’re mine!” Nora exclaimed, trying to snatch them back.
“I’m hungry and listening to your opinion. Let me keep them.” I pouted.
“Fine. Whatever, just leave! Go find Caleb and make lov-”
“Don’t you dare finish that sentence.” I cut her off with a disgusted look.
She began to giggle before pushing me out of her dorm room. “Text me when you kiss and make up!” She called out, before slamming the door shut.
I laughed and shook my head at her vision of Caleb and me before I began to make my way back to the dorm room.
Once I arrived at the door, I stopped and stared at the brass handle for a while, unsure of how to react in the situation. How was I supposed to start talking to Caleb? Did he even want to talk to me? And even if he did, I shouldn’t be doing this, not when the people who killed my parents were still out there and looking for me.
While my thoughts consumed me both body and mind, I hadn’t noticed the shadow of a tall, burly figure come to a silent halt behind me. “Are you going to just stand there and admire the door handle all day or am I allowed to enter my room within this century?” Caleb scowled, glaring down at me.
“Chill, you could have just asked me to move.” I grumbled in annoyance, before opening our door and walking in.
“Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, she is able to speak more than a word.” Caleb announced loudly once he entered the empty room.
“You’re one to talk.” I muttered under my breath.
“I’m not the one who has played the silent and disappearing game for the past two weeks.”
“No, no. You must have misunderstood me. I’m talking about your communication skills in general.”
“Whatever.” Caleb grunted with a clenched jaw. He was clearly enjoying this conversation as much as I was.
I replayed Nora and Portia’s requests in my mind while I took off my cardigan and threw it on my bed. I was either going to do this now or never.
What I was not expecting, however, was Caleb’s hands clasping themselves around my upper arms and turning me around to face him. My eyes were direct line with his when he started speaking. “I don’t care what the kiss meant to you anymore. I really don’t. I’ll forget about it if you want me to. Just talk to me, Ella. You’re the only person who I enjoy interacting with in this stupid place.”
I didn’t think I would be seeing the desperate, vulnerable side of Caleb again for a while; my surprise kind of closed my throat so I was unable to respond right away. I cleared my throat, blinking rapidly as his ice blue eyes were still the only thing in my view. “I… I was thinking the same thing…”
This time, it was his turn to look surprised. “Really?” His voice sounded guarded, like he was unsure of whether or not he should believe me.
“If I do recall correctly, it was you who walked out when I tried to speak to you two weeks ago.” I pointed out
“I was pissed off.” Caleb muttered, avoiding my gaze and letting go of me while taking a step back.
“I hadn’t noticed!”
His head snapped back towards me with a glare. “I had a reason to be. I practically know the pair of underwear you like to wear on a certain day of the week and how you keep a secret stash of chocolate at the side of your bed and eat from it when you think I’m not paying attention or definitely when I’m not around. But when it comes to your personal life? The only thing I know is what the rest of America knows, as well as your best friend’s name is Dylan.”
“You can’t get involved with me, or my life. My situation is bigger than you think. If you think you know me that well, you should know that I’d want you to just trust me on this with no questions asked.” A hopeful expression dominated what I was hoping was a neutral looking face as I was met with Caleb’s silence while the words sunk in.
“No.”
My face fell. “What do you mean ‘no’?”
“I’m not going to ignore the fact that you’re going through something that’s slowly deteriorating you emotionally. I’ve seen what happens to people that others ignore who are struggling to get through something. It doesn’t end well, and I’m not letting it happen to you.” His jaw clenched as his posture stiffened at his own words.
My curiosity spiked up at this point, and I took a step towards him unconsciously. “Who have you seen?”
“That doesn’t matter.” He replied quickly.
My eyes narrowed at the lack of eye contact he was now giving me. “It’s someone you care about.”
“Cared. She’s gone now, and that’s all you need to know.” Caleb suddenly snapped.
I blinked back in temporary shock before looking down at my shoes. If he didn’t want to talk about his past, I wasn’t going to either. “Okay.”
Caleb seemed to be surprised at my lack of arguing back about the topic, but didn’t comment on it. “So are you going to let me help you now?”
“No.”
This time, Caleb was the one to frown – in anger more than anything else. “What do you mean no?!” He exclaimed.
“I have an idea. How about we sit down and share one thing from our past. It doesn’t necessarily have to be the things we’re trying to force out of each other right now. We can start with a childhood memory, and gradually ease into the more serious side of the activity. What do you say?” I asked, taking off my ballet flats to be more comfortable if he agreed.
Caleb thought about it for a moment. “It sounds stupid.” He mumbled.
“Why?!”
“Because I don’t want to share memories and feelings.” He said the words like they disgusted him.
I laughed softly. “Yet you’re willing to do anything to help me get through my feelings?”
“You’re different.” He grumbled.
“And why is that?” I raised an eyebrow.
“Because I like you.” Caleb was avoiding my gaze all together, looking out the window to the side of us while awkwardly scratching the back of his neck and ruffling his hair absentmindedly.
I tried to fight back a smile as I walked over to where he was looking so I was the only thing in his field of view. “You know that’s the first time you’ve admitted that to me. You also know that what you just said is considered as ‘feelings’.”
“Shut the fuck up. You’re not meant to be enjoying this. We were meant to be having a serious heart to heart.” He scowled.
My smile grew wider as the slightest pink flush stained his cheekbones in splotches. “Okay, you’re right. I’m sorry, I am enjoying myself way too much here.”
His glare was back as I put my hands up in defence. “Okay! So I guess you’re not up for the whole swapping stories thing then…” I trailed off, slowly starting to walk away backwards.
Caleb sighed irritably. “Okay, fine. But you go first, and we sit on my bed. I won’t be bothered getting up later, and my bed is more comfortable.”
“Deal.”
---
You guys, don’t hate me.
I’ve had the worst writers block like in the history of writers block. You know how I know that? IT TOOK ME TWO WEEKS TO WRITE ONE PAGE DAMMIT :’( so it’s really crappy, but I’m going to tryyyy and make the next one better! And hopefully not take as long :/
Thanks for those who waited patiently, and to those who swore at me, your enthusiasm is always appreciated.
Also, my thoughts and prayers go out to the hostages that were killed & injured in Sydney(my home) by that stupid head :( Also, if you haven’t seen it already, jump on twitter and have a read of some of the #illridewithyou tweets. It makes me feel so proud to be Australian. My thoughts also go out to the poor victims in Pakistan :( What is this world coming to?!
So my ATAR comes out on Thursday that determines whether or not I go to uni. That’s going to be fun. Good luck to everyone else who is expecting it!
As for the gif of Steven (whereever it is on your device & if it even worked >.<) DAAAMN SON *tongue emoji* LOL
Follow my twitter!!! @Chocolateluvaax
Dedicated to hettykoes for her support & also because it’s her birthday tomorrow! Happy Birthday love, have a good one! xx
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Thanks for reading lovelies! Xx