May 5, 1964
The boat started sailing as soon as we were ready for it. The sun had just touched the horizon, painting a beautiful scene in the sky. John and I were standing at the very front as it began to move. I clutched the railing, my knuckles turning white. It was certainly going to take some getting used to.
I could feel John's eyes on me. I tried hard to focus solely on the beautiful scenery around me instead of being afraid for absolutely no reason.
Our boat crew was very nice. The cook had made us all a glorious breakfast this morning and it was ranked up there with the best food I'd ever had. I was sure that I was going to gain a few pounds before we went home, which was a small price to pay for the food.
Nonetheless, I worried that my stomach wouldn't hang onto the food for very long. It was already churning like the sea below us. I wasn't going to let it go without a fight though. I wouldn't want to be the one that goes off and spoils everyone's fun on the first day.
"You alright?" John asked me, a crooked smile on his face.
I nodded stiffly, fearing what might come out if I opened my mouth to speak. A light rain was falling from the pinkish sky, but it felt nice. The boat had just been painted, so below deck where we'd slept, it smelled rank. I'd much rather be up here. I had no idea where George and Pattie were, but then again, I wasn't really sure of much of what was happening around. All I knew that there was a huge stretch of ocean in front of us, the harbor behind us, but it was quickly fading away. The second it disappeared from sight would be the time when I'd start to freak out, I knew.
The sun was creeping higher into the sky and I found comfort in watching as the light around me grew in intensity.
Great, I thought. At least if I die, I can see everything fade away clearly.
John stopped trying to get me to talk for only a few minutes. "Are you sure?" he asked tentatively.
I turned to him timidly, making the brave decision to open my mouth and speak, immediately knowing I'd made a huge mistake. "Of course I am," I managed to squeak out before I redirected my attention to the water, closing my eyes as I puked over the railing. John was quick to my side to help me. "Shit," I hissed. "That wasn't very believable, was it?" I added, looking at him pitifully when I could see straight again.
He gave a light chuckle. "Maybe not," he said. "But I still love you!"
I nodded jokingly. "Mhm," I teased. "You won't when I ruin your vacation."
He cleared his throat. "Excuse me? You've already made this the best vacation I've ever been on!" He took my hand and pointed to the engagement ring with a toothy, child-like grin on his face.
"Right," I responded, my limbs still shaking slightly from my vomiting spell a few moments ago, but unable to resist smiling either way.
He kissed me on the forehead and then turned back towards the scene in front of us. I allowed myself to rest my head on his shoulder. The beds we'd all slept on hadn't been very comfortable, and they'd been very lonely. I'd spent about half of the night staring at the bottom of the bed I knew John was on above me. I felt the rocking of the boat below me, so I'd felt uncomfortable about it all night and had been unable to nod off because of it. When I finally managed to, at what I assumed was probably about one in the morning, it only lasted for a good five minutes before the uneasiness in my stomach caught up with me and I found myself staring at the ceiling again. I'd finally managed to stay asleep at probably three, and by then it was a lost cause. I knew that there was no way I was going to get enough sleep to go around today and feel energized
As the sun rose higher in the sky, dark and menacing-looking clouds began to take it over. By the time it was finally at its peak, it was dark all over again and the rain was beginning to pick up.
"You want to go back down there?" John asked me as he looked at the bruised sky.
As if on cue, Pattie and George stumbled out from down there, George looking just as ill as me. They didn't even seem phased by the rain.
"It's wretched down there," said George, and that's when I made up my mind.
As the rain began to pick up, the waves began to hit the sides of the boat just a little bit harder, sending me into a frenzy. We still had land on both sides of us, which I was trying to decide whether or not made it better.
"John, John, John," I began to say over and over, gripping the railing tighter as if my life depended on it. Everyone else quickly had some sense knocked into them and went to grab onto something too, John somehow managing to get as close to where I was standing as possible.
Two minutes ago, my stomach had settled. Now, however, all hope of that was gone. I was counting down the seconds until I threw up again. It was quite pitiful, really. Slowly, more of our small crew began to join us on the opposite end of the deck from below. We were still moving, I could feel. I began to wonder what kind of imbecile thought that moving in all this was actually a good idea. I sure was worried for them.
When I threw up again, it left me significantly weaker than before. My head fell forward against the railing and I couldn't tell if I was crying because of all the water already on my face from the rain itself.
The whole thing went on for a good thirty minutes, gutting me and George of every last thing in our stomachs. The waves finally began to calm down, but it stills sent back to how it had been before, the calm rocking. It still felt like I was being lifted a hundred feet in the air when we hit a slight wave. I wanted so badly to feel land under my feet again.
"John," I spluttered in the midst of vomiting for the hundredth time. "I can't stay on this boat every night," I told him, letting out a slight, pitiful cry. I didn't look at him. I kept my eyes zoomed in on the churning sea, too scared to move because I'd finally felt stable where I was standing.
John rubbed his hands along my back for a moment, nodding understandably. "I can see that now."