Hiroki used the time of his professional secrecy to earn a little pocket money.
The fashion label Zephyren had brought out a new collection and the young Japanese was happy about the opportunity to model again.
Almost a week had passed since the operation on his vocal chords and he felt fit enough for everyday life. Apart from the ban on talking, he had no more restrictions and welcomed the change.
Only yesterday he had his last therapy session with Dr. Hinata and she was very confident to hear him singing again soon. Hiro was grateful for her spiritual support. He even considered inviting her for dinner when he was allowed to speak again. Just to thank her, he liked her company, her advice and motivation. Maho was honest and direct and she could get a little out of control at times, especially with Toru san.
Hiroki found a message from him for Maho on his writing pad the morning after Toru went home. He was supposed to pass the pages on to the doctor. When Hiro did so, she burst into tears of joy and he knew this would be his chance. He had read the guitarist's words and was sure to hit the mark. Maybe it wasn't fair of him to use Maho as a cue ball, but she always said you have to face your fear. Hiro took the risk of losing his brother and Toru with his planned action. Still, he wanted to take this opportunity.
Now he was standing with Kidz in front of the hall of the big fashion house. The last shooting had already been half a year ago and both felt a certain excitement. It was fun for the friends to pose in front of the camera.
The drummer generally liked to be with Hiroki Moriuchi, because he loved to be recognized. With his singer at his side, this happened all the time and he enjoyed it to the full. This time he also took over the verbal matters for him. Meanwhile, Hiro was checking out the clothes he was about to wear for the photo shoot. It was autumn and winter fashion, so a lot of jackets and coats, some of which looked really "extraordinary". A lot of fur, oversized, extremely striking patterns and bright colors. The singer was very versatile in his wardrobe, he generally tried on everything and always bought a piece of clothing from the latest collections, it was like this every time.
He already knew the premises, even the photographers and staff, as they were still the same as on his last visit. They were all very nice and polite and they smiled at him friendly when they recognized him. But apparently everybody knew about his operation, because nobody spoke to him. Everyone was busy with their work.
He was a bit bored as Kidz was already flirting with some pretty girls and was in his element. "Let him get felt up," Hiroki thought and let his eyes wander through the big room. Then he wandered between the long rows of clothes, not paying attention to the colorful fabrics. He had already considered something else. A strange, young girl was sitting cross-legged in a corner on a yoga mat.
But it was not the teenager who had attracted his interest. It was what she was holding in her hands and that was why she didn't register anything around her.
A manga was lying on her lap, in which she literally sank and in addition her ears were hidden behind two big headphones. Hiroki smiled, he knew about the magic of these paperbacks as he was a huge fan of them himself.
As there was still some time left until the fitting, he decided to find out which manga it was. He had become curious.
Slowly he walked past it as casually as possible and his eyes became big when he realized that it was the latest edition of "Platinum End". "God, my favourite manga! This can't be...", he thought and stopped abruptly. Why didn't he know that the band was already on the market? He was usually one of the first to stock up on the latest editions.
The brunette girl had noticed him and looked up at him anxiously. She quickly put on the headphones over her short hair and her blue eyes pinched a little when she nervously asked: "Can ... I help you, Mr. ... Moriuchi? She was so excited that she forgot the Japanese customs and stared at him with big eyes. The singer was also self-conscious, he wanted to speak to her but could not. He looked at her embarrassed, but there was something else that caught his attention. Her trousers? Her T-shirt? Yes, even the bag next to her had its own print. It looked pretty cool.
Finally he smiled and bowed slightly. Only now the European girl remembered, stood up and bowed with an apology as well. The manga fell to the floor and automatically they both bent down afterwards. With the result that their heads collided and they clumsily laughed at each other.
To make the best out of the stupid situation, Hiro grabbed the comic and looked at his counterpart questioningly. The teenager nodded and proudly said, "I just got it from the bookstore an hour ago." She spoke in English hoping he would understand. But since the Japanese guy didn't react to that, only flipped through the manga, she tried Japanese. "I was lucky, there was only one copy left to buy." Surprised to hear his mother tongue, he smiled at her and showed her a thumbs-up. Was that for her correct pronunciation or for the comic strip? Either way ... she was delighted with his kindness and used the moment of his attention to introduce herself. "My name is Susanna, I'm from Germany and I'm doing an internship at Zephyren." He nodded approvingly, he was now more than uncomfortable not being able to speak. She had to imagine that he was a stuck-up guy who didn't talk to everybody. Regretfully he raised his shoulders and pointed to his neck. Then he spoke to her soundlessly and when he noticed that she did not understand anything he wanted to tell her he started to laugh. But this only made the girl even more insecure. Finally she grabbed her bag from the mat she had been sitting on and ran away insulted. Hiroki couldn't react that fast, she had already disappeared behind a long clothes rack.
"Damn, I must be the biggest asshole in her eyes now." Then he noticed the manga in his hands. "Shit!" it escaped him and it sounded hoarse. He put his hand over his mouth and ran after it. He didn't get far because Kits was already looking for him. The photo shoot could begin and Hiro had to change. "Just two minutes," formed his lips and he pointed two fingers up, turned around and was about to start, but his drummer held him by the arm. "Hiro? ...What's wrong?" His voice sounded surprised. "What does that mean, ... ah ... you have to get on the ...!" he concluded with a big grin and let him go. But already in the next moment the photographer's assistants came and asked the undecidedly standing singer to get ready. "You know our boss," one of them smiled and handed Hiro the first outfit. "He doesn't like to wait," the other added, holding his shoes in front of his nose.
It was too late, he could not leave now. He would have liked to send Ki chan off to look for the girl, but he wouldn't understand in the rush. And there was no time left to write. He bit his lower lip in annoyance, pushed the comic into Kidz's stomach and took the clothes. Hiroki was never as fast as today with changing his clothes and the shooting lasted less than an hour. That was record time!
Back in his normal clothes, he wanted to get the book from his friend to give it back. But Kits just raised his shoulders without understanding and said: "She suddenly came up to me and pulled the manga out of my hands. "I was just at the point where..." But when he saw the singer's shocked face, he quickly added: "She only said that he belonged to her. ... she sounded pretty pissed off, did you steal it easily?" A rough boxer, made the drummer scream. "Ahh, what? ... can't you take a joke?" he moaned insulted and rubbed the spot on his arm that Hiro had caught. He sighed heavily, not wanting to look like an idiot in front of the girl. Somehow he had to track her down to sort things out. But how?
Fate was kind to him today, because the next moment he heard her voice behind the long wall of clothes. There was another girl with her and they talked in English about "My first Story", his band!
Slowly he followed the two of them on his side of the clothes and concentrated on the conversation. But he couldn't understand much, because they spoke very fast in English. But he heard his name and a few song titles, which he couldn't assign to his band. It was definitely about music and ... Takahiro? Hiro snorted inside, his brother again.
The surveillance continued and Kidz followed him at a loss. He wasn't really interested in the whole thing. He wanted to have a nice dinner and take advantage of the opportunity to talk to his friend without being interrupted by him all the time. It wouldn't take too long and Hiro could use his voice again. Suddenly the shadowing ended as the clothes pile moved between them and some coats and jackets were lifted down. This created a window in which Hiro and Kidz now appeared.
"Hello!" the drummer immediately took the floor to not let himself and his singer look like the biggest idiots. The blonde girl greeted back in astonishment, because she was in the group with whom Kidz had flirted. That loosened up the situation, but the suspicious look of Susanne made Hiroki nervous. He feverishly thought about what he should do now. He didn't even have anything to write with. Seeking help, he pushed Ki chan into the side and pointed to him to talk and explain why he wasn't talking. But he misunderstood him, or didn't want to understand him. With an inviting hand movement he whispered to the two girls: "We would like to take you out for dinner. How much longer do you have to work?" His charming smile earned the blonde a hysterical cry, "Ahhh... yes, yes!"
The singer stared at the ladies' man in astonishment. He couldn't believe it. Kidz took advantage of it so shamelessly, he had no voice.
For better or worse, he had to play along, even if it didn't make him feel good. Embarrassed, he drove through his hair and squinted over to the German girl. What did she think of the invitation? She caught his look and smiled.
Her Japanese was quite good, but she hadn't stressed some words properly and what he understood sounded something like: "I am sorry, Hiroki san. I forgot, they are having an operation on the sides of the sound in a week and they can't talk. I thought prematurely... they... want me around." With eyebrows raised, he looked at her questioningly and laughed. But since he didn't want to expose her, he smiled friendly and nodded.
Then she pulled the Japanese comic out of her pocket and held it under Hiro's clothes rail. "You may borrow it in the meantime. I don't mind," she said and laughed shyly as the singer reached for it.
Now Kidz was a little surprised. The two seemed so familiar. What the hell had his singer done? Had he perhaps already hit on her? He shook his head in doubt. "Hiro chan? No...Ever."
Since the two interns still had some work to do and the drummer was starving, he spontaneously decided to pick up the girls later so they could finally leave. The blonde was exuberantly happy, but Susanne's enthusiasm was limited. The singer suspected that she knew that no meeting would take place. So he briefly considered whether he should give the manga back. But wouldn't that also be the admission to have lied to her with the invitation?
So they went their separate ways. Again Hiroki held the comic in his hands and now really felt like a thief.
Accusingly, he stared at his friend, who only shrugged his shoulders apologetically and said: "What else could I say to them? The whole thing was so embarrassing. I had to act quickly. It was the best I could come up with." Hiroki rolled his eyes and slapped his hand on his forehead. "Stupid bum," he rantled inside himself. It wouldn't have been so bad if he hadn't taken that stupid manga. He could of course just leave it lying here, sooner or later she would find it. But what if someone else packed it?
He decided to sign the paperback and hand it in to an employee. That way the comic book would be returned to Susanne.
No sooner said than done. When they finally left the hall, the singer took a deep breath of relief. Kidz had been wondering all the time why his friend was making such a big deal out of it. They would probably never see the two girls again, so why all the fuss?
Cheering up, he patted the little one on the shoulder and said: "You know Hiro chan, something bigger is waiting for us!" His two hands formed two breasts in front of his upper body and he grinned mischievously. An angry look struck the drummer and he immediately took another punch on his arm. "As if I want something from her, you idiot," he hissed soundlessly. He just couldn't stand it when, especially fans, got a wrong impression of him.
But basically Kidz was right, they would never run into each other again, so...?
He put aside his guilty conscience and took his cell phone out of his jacket pocket. His brother had been sick for a week. Since he was in the hospital with him, to be exact. Hiroki wanted to know if he was feeling better, like he does every day, so he could finally meet Toru again. The guitarist had written back to his protégé every day and Hiro could read from his words how worried he was about his brother. The little one was sorry that he had caused Toru san such inconvenience and he also realized that Taka needed his friend more now, but this thing with his protector was not over yet. How would it be the next time he faced Toru san? When he was finally allowed to speak again and could explain everything better?
When he had taken a seat next to his drummer in the passenger seat, he typed into his phone.
I prepared lunch, like the rest of last week. Slowly I felt like a mother who spent the whole day trying to please her son. In my case, it was Takahiro, who I served from back to front. Not that I didn't want to do it. He was sick and needed my help. Only his mood left something to be desired. You'd think he'd be grateful and happy to have someone at his side. But Taka was bursting with bad mood. He wrote texts and tried to get rid of his negative thoughts in this way.
How would he be today? The last night was quite calm, except for a short crying fit, which he cried out in my arms. He also had no more fever and no more pain. But after a short breakfast he crawled back into bed and I used the opportunity to do some shopping, washing up and cooking. There was also plenty of time to think about our present, muddled situation. When was the right time to have a serious word with Taka? Maybe the whole illness dragged on like this, because he didn't want to get well, to avoid the whole thing. As long as he didn't stand on his feet again, I wouldn't leave him alone. He knew that.
I sighed and my eyes fell on my vibrating mobile phone. Dinner was just about ready, so I sat down on the stool in front of the mini bar and devoted myself to the messages Hiroki left on my phone. The little one had come through everything well and was back to his daily routine. I was glad that he got along. Since our poker night at the clinic I had not been able to visit him.
I read his words with a smile when suddenly two arms wrapped around my hip and I felt Takahiro's breath on my neck. "Hello my darling", he whispered tenderly at my ear and kissed the sensitive spot behind it. A pleasant shiver ran down my back and I felt his warm body nestle against me.
Couldn't we just continue where we had stopped a week ago? My body was literally screaming for him and I had to suppress the desire not to just grab him and disappear with him into the bedroom. I sighed again and at the same moment I felt bad for the perverted thoughts that were circulating in my head. Taka apparently felt my tension and let me go again. "It smells really delicious, Toru. I've really got an appetite again today." He went around me to the stove.
"It looks like I've overcome the worst." Carefully, he lifted the lids off the pans and got an extra splash of the smell of braised meat and freshly steamed rice. "You've learned a lot from me," he grinned at me and I was glad to see him in good spirits. "Hmm, ... you think so?" I muttered and returned his gaze. Why did he look at me so provocatively? Or was it just my imagination? In any case, he was a different person, had his morning nap really refreshed him that much? I squint my eyes together and put the phone on the narrow sideboard. Then I turned to him and watched him. My little friend, even more diminished after his illness. Dressed in an oversized flannel shirt (of mine) that covered his boxer shorts completely, he stood barefoot on the kitchen runner. His hair was dishevelled, hung down to his face and the tired, big, almond-shaped eyes, which fixed me so boldly, enchanted me. I wanted to say nothing and do nothing to disturb this tingling mood between us.
Slowly he came towards me and I swallowed heavily as he gently stroked my hair with his fingers. "Why are you so silent?" he wanted to know. Now he was standing right in front of me and since I was still sitting on the stool, we were the same height. "I...", I desperately searched for some words. "I am glad ... that ... you are better," I finally stammered and was not at all surprised when he suspiciously said: "That doesn't sound very convincing." His hand now moved to my neck. Gently, he pulled me to him and cooed: "I am certainly not contagious anymore, Toru. You can touch me." Taka's second hand rested on my thigh and I smiled embarrassed "Oh God, ... if only was that," I thought to myself and tried not to give in to the urge to wrap my arms around his middle. I had sworn to myself not to share a bed with him again until the incident in the clinic was cleared up. We shouldn't just sweep this jealousy thing under the table. It would happen again.
It was now or never, I said to myself and took his hands in mine. "Mori chan ... give your body a rest. Let's eat... and... talk." When I got up, he pulled his fingers from my grip and looked up at me confused. "Are you serious? You don't want to?" His voice was alarmingly shrill, but my stern gaze made him think. Unfortunately, once again, in a completely wrong direction. "You're really sick of me... I know... I'm just a block on your leg. But if you want..." I didn't want to hear any more sentimentality, so I immediately interrupted him: "Ah ... stupid, you're behaving like a small child", it burst out of me. Actually I wanted to be a bit more sensitive, but my patience had its limits, especially after a week of nursing. Nevertheless, I pulled myself together now and tried to be more friendly: "Takahiro, you still haven't told me how your cell phone got broken. "We should talk about your problem, otherwise our relationship will suffer."
His eyes got bigger and bigger. "My problem?!" he snorted and tapped his finger on my chest. "You're my problem, ... you stalker! Why do you have to be so damn good looking and disgustingly charming that everyone falls in love with you and gets sick with heartache?" He gasped, sighed and sulked. "It's all your fault," he said sheepishly before I shook my head laughing. "Oh no, you can't talk your way out of this so easily. I want to know everything now!" I raised my hand and counted with my fingers: "Why you blocked me, why I should have cheated on you with Maho, why your phone is destroyed and why you hired your half-naked neighbour as your personal lifesaver!
To take my stern words seriously, I ruffled his hair. "Come on... tell me everything", I encouraged him.
Taka bounced his feet up and down as if he wanted to weigh it out, to talk to me or just to be silent. Finally he murmured a quiet "okay", stared at his feet and waited for a reaction from me. I did him the favour, finally took him in my arms and whispered: "An "okay" is good. Let's eat before we lose our appetites from your confessions." I got an embarrassed grin from him that made me very happy.
Hiroki tried to switch to swipe. Kidz was in his element to communicate. Using his hands and feet to get as much attention as possible.
They were sitting in an Inn bar, near the fashion house where Hiroki had modeled an hour and a half ago. That was also a reason why he was not feeling well. The thing about the two interns was still on his mind and kept him busy.
"What do you say?" asked his friend next to him and pushed him to the side. The singer just looked at him without understanding. "What? Sorry ... I was not on the point," he wrote on the note in front of him, which only showed a few yes, no and different smileys. He didn't have much to say.
With a casual hand movement the drummer cut off the answer and said: "I see, I've told enough. You're not receptive anymore." Then he wavered in front of Hiro's face to get his attention. "Shall I take you to Takahiro's place? You wanted to visit him, right?"
Relieved to escape the rush of speech, Hiroki nodded eagerly and immediately dispelled any concerns that he might show up at his brother's house unannounced. But anything was better than the gibberish of Ki chan.
Ten minutes later they drove along the street where the hall of the fashion label was located and suddenly a hoarse "Oh shit!" escaped the singer. His friend, who turned to him in complete surprise, found the little one sunk deep in his seat and with both hands in front of his face. "What... are you doing?" But when he looked out the window, he understood his reaction. "Oops!" he just said, and drove past the two girls from Zephyrs.
Susanne and her friend were engrossed in a conversation and not at all devastated because they had fooled two stupid, halfway famous musicians. No, they laughed and the German girl demonstratively wore her Japanese comic in front of her chest.
"They didn't see us," joked Kidz. "You can reappear, they're not angry with us," he laughed and slapped the frightened looking one's thigh. "Oh man, ... what a rabbit's foot you are, Hiro chan." Then he laughed at the little one until they arrived at Taka's apartment. With a short wave, Hiroki said goodbye and got out. He's clearly had enough of his band member for today. He asked if he should pick him up later, but in the next moment the car door closed and Hiro was already walking to the entrance.
Taka and I had reconciled. After he explained everything to me in short words, showed remorse, Maho accepted but cursed Takuja, we laughed about the whole thing and the masturbating freak.
The food was delicious (I know self-praise isn't that good, but I was so happy about it). And already when putting the dishes into the dishwasher, we couldn't keep our hands off each other.
We moved to the big couch in the living room, when our hot love act came to an abrupt end by a violent knocking at the door. "Shit, ... I think I'm having a de cha vue right now," I groaned and sat up. "Toru ... no ... we won't let anyone in," Taka puffed and looked at me pleadingly. But I had already got up and covered my excited masculinity under the dressing gown that had been lying over the back of the sofa. "Don't worry, I won't be beaten up again. ... Remember where we left off," I roared at the pouting man and went to the door. He just growled and threw a blanket over himself.
I suspected the postman as I was waiting for a package. But it was not him. As I peeked through the crack of the door, I saw: "Hiroki?" I opened it in surprise. He grinned, but when he entered and saw Taka lying half naked on the sofa, his cheeks turned deep red. Confused he looked from Taka to me and he said: "Fuck, ... did I disturb you just now?" he asked in a scratchy voice. Apparently he was totally shocked to find us in such a way that he forgot his language ban. "Are you allowed to talk yet?" I asked and patted him on the shoulder. Taka laughed exaggeratedly casually and stood up. He still wore my flannel shirt, but it wasn't buttoned up anymore. So he came towards us. He didn't mind showing his boner to the little one. "Actually... not..." Hiroki croaked and swallowed hard as if he had a frog in his throat. "Come on, sit down, I'll get you a drink," I offered him and made an inviting gesture, but the little one showed no signs of moving from the spot.
"Taka damn it, put on your clothes and say something", I rebuked my friend. But his brother was faster. Hiroki shook his head and just said, "I'll go," turned to the door, squeezed past me and ran out. "I'll be in touch," I could still hear him as he jumped down the stairs. "Hiroki? ...Hiroki!"
He was gone. And I was a little hurt. The last thing I wanted was for him to feel bad. I closed the front door and gave Taka a disapproving look. "That wasn't very nice..." I said sternly and reaped an eye-roll.
My cell phone was still in the kitchen. I wanted to send a message to my protégé to ... simply calm my conscience. But when I took it from the counter, it vibrated, because the little one was faster again. Slowly I went back to my singer, who lifted the ceiling invitingly and read the message from his brother to him.
"I am so sorry! (Smiley face with red cheeks) From now on I always wait for your answers! (Winking smiley) Everything okay, I'm fine and I'm happy about Taka's health. Please contact me."
"Oh, yeah, he'll do that, baby brother... but not jet." Taka clicked his tongue and looked at me defiantly. I typed a quick "It's okay" and "I'll call you... after!" into the phone and sent the message before the it was pulled out of my hand. "You little pervert dwarf. Where are your manners?" I rebuked him, but he already buried his fingernails in my back, swung his supple legs around my hips and pressed me to himself. I had practically no chance to defend myself and I didn't really want to. Hiroki had not disturbed us, he only increased our desire for each other. I couldn't explain it to myself, but little Moriuchi haunted me more and more in my thoughts.
Hiroki's eyes were too slow to keep up with the speed of his fingers. He wanted to send the message as soon as possible, apologize and ... get rid of this oppressive feeling. "Man, what a fool I am," he thought ashamed. "I should have guessed..."
Still shocked by his now third embarrassing situation, he leaned against the wall of the house next to the entrance and sent off the SMS. His condition left much to be desired, the few steps had already made him sweat. He ran his hand over his face and felt his warm breath in the cool afternoon air. "I should have left the minute I saw Toru... His fingers remained on his slightly open mouth and his brain, spun a web of unconscious fantasies. "Toru was probably naked under his white, fluffy robe..." Hiroki swallowed. The lumb in his throat kept getting bigger. His fingertips brushed across his full lips. Maybe it wasn't right, sure wasn't right to think about it. But this strange feeling in his stomach area was getting stronger and stronger. He imagined the muscular body of the guitarist, his strong arms, his bedroom look and the, ah shit ..., so horny lips. He bit his fingers.
The reaction of his body made him freeze. He would have loved to scream out loud to vent his anger about the fact that he felt a problem in his pants. "God! I'm not gay," he told himself and rolled his eyes when he saw Taka's stupid grin in his head. Hiroki's eyes widened as he looked at his mobile phone and read Toru's reply to the message he had just received. "...Call me...after." Did it actually say "After that?"
The following pictures took place in front of the little singer: Toru over Taka ..., Taka in front of Toru ..., Toru in Taka! "Ahh... fuck!"
Hiroki ran, he ran around five corners, crossed streets, ignored honking cars, until he stopped in front of a ramen shop, completely out of breath. His lungs were burning and he had to lean on the big lighted display to keep from going down. "I shouldn't have done this," he said. "Shit, I was supposed to take it easy, not exert myself, not talk. Shit, I... Suddenly everything revolved around him. He tried to become calm, took a deep breath and thought only of not provoking another choking attack. "Everything is...fine," he told himself, but he could not get up. Then he closed his eyes, took a deep breath and prayed to God that he would not let him collapse here, in front of the snack bar, on the sidewalk.
"Hiroki san? Aren't you feeling well?" asked a worried girl's voice and made the singer flinch. "Shit... I don't believe it. Is this my very personal "Embarrassing day?" he cursed inside and thought about how he should react. But he didn't really care, she could be his salvation. Seeking help and still gasping for breath, he looked into the caring face of Susanne. "What happened," she wanted to know. "Should I call an ambulance?" But when he shook his head violently, she immediately suggested going to the little snack shop. "The air is very cold and certainly not the healthiest for her newly operated vocal cords. Besides, you can sit down there. You look very pale..." She did not speak any further because her counterpart nodded now. "Should I help you?" Timidly, he took her arm for support and let her lead him into the frame shop.
Susanne helped Hiro to a table in the big display that was free. Actually, Hiroki didn't want to be presented like a display window. But then he noticed her bag on a chair and combined that she must have been watching him from here. He sat with his back to the window. His breathing slowly normalized, the warm air inside calmed his lungs. Still, he could not get rid of the tight feeling in his throat.
"Would you like some tea?" asked Susanne, who had sat down next to him as if she could read his thoughts. "Tea helps, for whatever. ... That's what my mother always says," she still said and looked at him with big eyes. The young Japanese nodded embarrassed. But somehow he wasn't anymore, despite the empty promise he, or rather Kidz, had made her with the invitation to his photo shoot. He also didn't waste any thoughts on how he should talk to the girl. Hiroki was just happy not to be lying on the street, surrounded by hundreds of passers-by who talked to him and finally called for rescue. They would have taken him to the hospital and everything would have started all over again.
He was annoyed at his stupidity and decided to take better care of himself from now on. If the German girl had not rushed to him immediately, he would probably be lying in an ambulance now.
Gratefully he smiled, leaned back and tried to relax a bit. No way he wanted to think of Toru now. The incident had upset him so much and he could not explain why.
Susanne ordered two jasmine teas with red cheeks and embarrassedly reached into her short hair. Then she cleared her throat, she finally had to say something, he couldn't.
She tried to talk about rather unimportant things with Zephyren, but her Japanese wasn't very good for this kind of conversation yet, because Hiroki kept making big eyes or pinching her head and sometimes even laughing out loud. Finally the singer let her know that he would like to write something down and if she had something to write. Without thinking twice she reached into her bag, took out a sketchpad and put it under his hands. The young Japanese man raised an eyebrow and leafed through the sketches and drawings with interest. In the meantime, she placed a roll of fabric tied together with two ribbons in the middle of the table. He could guess what was wrapped in it, but had never seen anything like it before. In astonishment he looked at her fingers as she loosened the knot and unrolled the soft material. They were full of paint, like her clothes, her bag and the pencil. Apparently, she did the fabric print herself. He was visibly impressed and pulled a pencil out of the small loop that was sewn on as a fixation. Then he leafed further through the pad to find a free sheet. Until he came across a page that elicited a "Holy cow!" Confused, she looked at the figurine and to her horror she had to realize that she had used HIM as a model. "Please, please, ... these are really very old drafts...", she moaned and wanted to pull the writing pad away from him, but he held it with a grin and carefully looked at the next page. What he found there, he should have guessed. His brother, Taka in a dress? Now they both giggled. Susanne decided to continue speaking in English and said timidly: "You must know... I'm a Toruka Shipper." How else could she explain the picture to him better? Was he surprised? She couldn't really judge his reaction. He would not comment on it, she thought, and was annoyed by her inappropriate statement. Hiroki just shrugged and before he wrote, he looked at her. She sipped her tea and looked back over the edge of her cup. There was suddenly a sadness in his eyes. She wasn't quite sure, but it seemed to her as if the mention of his brother had changed him. There was something on his mind.
To change the subject and at the same time encourage the singer to write, she asked, "Do you speak English?" He nodded and grinned again as he wrote on the paper in front of him, "Yes, I do. Nice meeting you."
After half an hour, during which they had quite a good chat, Hiroki's mobile phone vibrated. He apologized and read the message: "Everything okay? I'm sorry about before. What were you doing?" The kid quickly typed a few sentences into his phone and sent them off.
I entered the diner looking for Hiro. When he was so quick to respond to my message earlier, I was more than surprised by his request. How did he get into such a situation sitting in a frame shop without a wallet? I was curious to hear his explanation. I also took the hasty escape at Taka as a reason why I stood here now and let my gaze wander through the rows of tables. In the back part of the narrow restaurant, where I actually suspected him, I could not discover him. For a moment I wondered if I had the wrong address, but when I turned around I noticed his small figure directly in the display. He had never done that before. Hiroki liked to remain undetected, should that have changed?
There was one more person sitting at the table and from the looks of it the two of them had a lot of fun. I decided to go unnoticed for a moment to inspect his companion. The person was sitting with his back to me, slightly bent over, short, somehow not really coiffed hair and strangely painted clothes. Who was that? He certainly did not look Japanese, I could see that much from behind. My curiosity won out and I strolled to them.
"Hello! Did anyone here order a taxi?" I asked in my deep voice and scared the two out of their animated conversation, Hiro just writing. While he caught himself again, the GIRL just stared at me in astonishment. She had blue, big, round eyes, her mouth was slightly open and her cheeks, which were probably already reddened earlier, began to glow. "Lord Toru san!" she cried and slapped her mouth. I moved the corner of my mouth slightly upwards and looked around. Praying not to attract screaming fans now. But there was no one there, except a few old people. That calmed me down and I said with raised eyebrows, "Well, you know my name?"
She was very young and she was definitely from Europe Upon my surprised discovery, she stood up and bowed. A smile flashed across my lips, then I looked expectantly at my protégé, it was now up to him to introduce her to me. He had also got up, went through his hair and pointed to his companion. "My name is Susanne and I am an intern at Zephyren," she said softly for him. "Oh, hi, Susan."
Then I turned to Hiro and continued speaking in Japanese. "Am I early? What on earth are you doing here? With no money, and with...?" I reaped a pleading glance and defensive, flailing hands. My shrug of my shoulders made the singer understand that I didn't understand anything and before the little one could write down his words, the girl said in our mother tongue: "It was a coincidence, we met today at his photo shooting." After a short break, she said, "We share a passion." She pulled a manga out of her pocket and put it on the table.
Hiro was visibly relieved at her answer and smiled at me. I had to laugh, I knew his weakness for this kind of comics. "And you speak Japanese," I said approvingly and looked at her from the front. She was a rather inconspicuous teenager, with boyish hair and ... very strange clothes, that I wondered where you could buy something like that. Only her features were clearly feminine and quite nice to look at. Of course, Susanne noticed my prudish look and offered me her place, as she wanted to go as she thought she would. She packed her things, but first tore an empty page out of her sketchpad and left it with a pen, in front of Hiro. "I think you will need this," she noticed and bowed goodbye. But Hiroki came over to her side, reached out his hand to her in a western manner and smiled gratefully at her: "Thank you, Susann," he said in a husky voice. She made big eyes. "You're welcome. Take care of yourself. I'll be flying home in a few weeks and won't be able to save you then," came her reply and they shook hands giggling.
I looked at the whole thing with a smile and crossed my arms in front of my chest. The need to give her a handshake had disappeared when I noticed the color on her fingers. Now I knew where she got her clothes.
Again I nodded approvingly and bowed slightly to say goodbye as well. "Have a nice day", I said, as she looked up at me embarrassed. "You too, and... goodbye." She waved and went to the counter to pay.
"Nice" was all I could think of when I saw Hiroki's blushing face. We sat down, I checked the chair for paint first. Then I used the pencil to push the sheet of paper in front of his nose and raised my eyebrows asking: "You're good to go. Why on earth would you go to a restaurant without money?" He tried to tell me everything until I got curious: "And what made you walk where you know exactly what you're doing?" After a short hesitation he squeezed his eyes together into narrow slits and took a deep breath. "Really? ... Toru? Can't you guess?" he pushed out croaking. Then he wrote: "Please take me home? I don't feel so..."
For a moment I wondered what he meant, but since he looked very tired and pale, I just nodded and we got into my car a few minutes later.
Hiroki was very quiet, of course he wasn't allowed to talk either, but he was really unusually calm. "What's wrong? Are you not feeling well?" I asked slightly worried and looked at him from the side. He looked very thoughtful. What was bothering him so? I would not find out in the car, so I decided to accompany him to his apartment.
When I parked, he looked at me a little anxiously. "You're coming?" shaped his lips and he looked embarrassed. "Sure, I want to make sure everything's all right, and..."
So I followed him, not wondering about the apartment, which was cleaned out in a flash. The Moriuchis were all the same in that respect. As a matter of course I took off my shoes and briefly considered sending a message to Takahiro, but I immediately rejected the idea. It wouldn't take long.
Then I looked around. I had never been here before, since he had only lived alone for a year and we had not seen each other for a long time. Pictures and photographs of his family hung everywhere. Children's pictures of the Moriuchi brothers laughing happily and exuberantly into the camera. Of his parents, when they still lived happily together. Many memories from the good, old, healed world.
"Hiro chan?" I peeked in, but couldn't see him. "I'm here", I heard his croaking voice and went looking. I found the kid on a sofa in the kitchen-living room. Feet pulled against his body and his forehead leaning against his knees. "Hiro chan? Shall I leave?" I asked quietly. I didn't expect to have to comfort him. My fear that he couldn't just push his feelings for me aside intensified when I sat down with some mixed feelings and gently stroked his back. "Well, what's wrong?"
Slightly angry with myself, I looked at the little one. How could I be so inconsiderate and play with his feelings? We should have been through all this already? I thought the subject was already cut off in the clinic. Why couldn't I leave it at that? Apologize and leave?
Maybe... because he... just looked so cute and my protective instincts got the best of him? I rolled my eyes and could've slapped myself for that stupid excuse. No, Moriuchi was a very special person in my life. When he was very small, I sometimes felt like a mother to him, in discussions and arguments like a father, later like his brother and teacher and now?
Suddenly he lifted his head and looked at me briskly, then he took a deep breath and began in a rough voice: "Why did you let me in at Taka's house in the first place? It sounded reproachful and I felt guilty. He cleared his throat and spoke bumpy: "I've never... disturbed anyone during sex. ...I was completely overwhelmed. "I was shocked, but at the same time, I let my imagination run away with me when..." Hiroki's voice kept failing, so he had to take a break. "I'm sorry. ... What can I say to you? It was not my intention to put you in this awkward situation," I tried to talk my way out of it and smiled embarrassed.
Hiro leaned in. His gaze lingered on my lips, then he raised his hand and brushed my strand of hair aside. "Toru,... I can't explain..." he whispered. "But I want to know how..." The next moment he pressed his lips to mine and kissed me. His trembling hands gently framed my face and his breath stopped as I opened my mouth in a dazed state. "Hi chan?" it escaped me and at the same moment he pushed me away. "Eh ... sorry Toru," he whispered haltingly and hid his face between his arms again.
An unpleasant silence arose and I didn't dare to touch him. Wouldn't he understand every lovingly meant gesture as an invitation? I was sorry to see him so helpless and sad.
Finally I got up and fetched for a glass of water. "You should rest your voice for today. You don't owe me an explanation Hiro chan, you don't have to explain anything... When he was drinking he looked at me and said: "Am I... gay?" There was an uncertainty in his voice and I could tell he was afraid. And like the answer to my thoughts, he defiantly said, "I... don't want this." He was breathing heavily, the speaking was exhausting and cost him a lot of strength. "Hiroki, you're not gay just because you can't get your feelings straight right now. "All this trouble isn't making it easy for you. "I'm sorry I'm not much help to you."
I was insecure. How seriously should I take this action now? Why did I have to ask such stupid questions? It would have been better to keep my mouth shut and not go to his apartment.
The kid got up and patted me on the back in a friendly way. He noticed that I was biased and croaked: "I'm sorry... but Kidz talked to me about his sex stories and then Taka's bonner..." He cleared his throat and continued bumpy: "My love life is on hold for the moment, I ... just wanted to know ... what it is like to kiss a man. ...not... any more." Was he trying to reassure me with those words? That didn't really work. I laughed sheepishly and ran my hand through my hair. "Nothing more? Are you sure?" I wanted to know. Hiroki nodded, "Don't... His voice broke. It was too much for his newly operated vocal cords. I told him not to talk. Only now I noticed the note from the restaurant and Susanne's pen lying on the side table and tapped it with my finger. "What's the matter with that young girl? Will you see her again?" I asked, to carefully change the subject, and was glad that he was so quick to answer. He shook his head violently, took the pen and wrote: "No, she's nice, but not even 20. In a few weeks she's flying back to Germany. She's just doing her internship here. We won't see each other again." "That sounds very determined, or ... maybe sad? " To see the same person three times in one day is very unusual. Who knows what fate has in store for you." He laughed mischievously as I pushed him slightly to the side. "In any case, her fashion was... unique. She painted it herself, didn't she?" He nodded eagerly and formed a thumbs-up. "I think it's pretty cool, too, although I'm not really into color. "It'll make its way, we all started out small." Again he eagerly affirmed.
Our "conversation" went on for a while and I hoped to take Hiro's mind off things. When I said goodbye, I was optimistic not to leave him alone too distraught. "Please Hiro chan, no more marathons! Promise me that. And you should also go easy on your voice. Call me if you need help, you know where I am", I said at the end. Then he punched me slightly in the upper arm and rolled his eyes. "Yes, because of me, best regards to Taka", he said hoarsely and accompanied me to the door.
He looked after me and I realized again how difficult it would be to bring the brothers together. At present I stood between them, which was never my intention.
Somehow we found our everyday life again and the weeks flew by. Taka had completely recovered and we worked on the new songs, which were lying side by side on his coffee table. His little brother always contacted me and assured me every time that he was not from the other side and that he was doing well.
A new tour began. We were all very excited and tense. Everything was planned and organized. The tour bus, for a short time, our home again. Every free minute was a gift and although we were constantly on the road together as a band, the private life became a difficult undertaking for Taka and me. The few opportunities to share some togetherness turned out to be something I never wanted to have. After hard and desperate sex, falling asleep wordlessly and exhausted. I felt shabby and had the feeling of taking advantage of my friend. Not being able to give him anything but this kind of satisfaction. As much as I tried to talk to him about it, to bring up the subject, I was blocked by him. He always pretended to be able to handle it, but I noticed his tension at the VIP meetings with the fans. He was insecure, nervous and irritable and he let his anger out during the soundchecks. The crew also found his behaviour exaggerated at times, which made me even more frustrated.
Back in Tokyo, once again a jealousy drama took place, which showed us how dangerous this balancing act was for the future of the band.