Yoongi spins around in his studio chair, hoping that perhaps dizziness would knock some sort of inspiration into his stubbornly silent head. Writers block was surely to be the death of him, it was almost like it rendered him completely useless. Or at least it felt that way. Yoongi stops spinning to stare at his desktop, watches with a frown as it tilts and warps and then eventually goes back to normal. But unfortunately, it doesn't inspire anything in him. Not even a stupid little lyric or bar or chorus or anything. Well, it was worth a try anyway.
He stands, stretches his arms above his head like a cat waking up from a long rest, and smacks his lips. Exhaustion clings to him like a wet blanket, making his eyes feel as if they have sand bags weighing them down. After a quick glance at the clock — and realising he'd been in the studio now for over seven hours, fruitlessly writing lyrics that were as quickly disposed of as they had been written, and composing beats that were deleted almost immediately after — he concludes that today had been a bust, one of many, and he'd really achieve nothing but a headache by staying any longer. Yoongi had learnt long ago that forcing himself to write music was like trying to get a snail to sprint, it was just ineffective and tiresome in all areas, and for everyone involved.
Yoongi turns towards the door but no sooner does he take a step forwards, does he quickly taking a startled step back as said door forcefully swings open and a disgruntled seokjin stands in his doorway, looking displeased as he takes in yoongis appearance in a quick up down.
"I've been sent to tell you that we're going out for dinner," seokjin announces, crossing his arms. "And you can't say no because you've been in here far too long already and I know you haven't eaten anything yet,"
"I was just about to leave anyways," yoongi answers, despite it seeming as if the other man wasn't looking for an answer, but more like he was demanding an agreement.
Then seokjin steps forward so quickly yoongi doesn't have the thought to take a step back, grasping yoongis cheeks in his palms so that they bunch up like a dumpling. "Jesus, yoongs, you're pale as a sheet of paper, try and get some sun would you?" Seokjin looks around the room. "I hate that the studios have no windows, a little bit of natural light can really go a long—"
Yoongi swats seokjins hands away with really very little strength — he's too tired to put much energy in it. "I like working in the dark."
Seokjin scowls and opens his mouth to reply but is once again cut off when two figures scramble into the room.
"Hurry up," taehyung whines, falling into Jimin who bustles in beside him. "My insides are eating themselves,"
"We're having Chinese hotpot, hyung," jimin smiles at yoongi with pearly whites. "I said we should have your favourite so you would join us—"
"He compared it to luring out a—"
"No I did not!" Jimin swats at a laughing taehyung, looking back at yoongi with quickly reddening cheeks. "I didn't! I swear!"
Yoongi groans, covering his eyes. "You're all so fucking loud, good god, I'm going to go deaf,"
There's laughter and then seokjin says something along the lines of okay time to leave, and Yoongi feels himself getting pushed and shoved out of the confines of his small studio and back into the cold hallway of the BigHit building. He doesn't resist, having people help him put in half the effort when it comes to exerting himself — even if 'exerting himself' was just merely walking — was always one of yoongis a favourite things to do. Besides, being forcefully removed from his studio was a common occurrence. Half the time it was yoongi sluggishly leaving by his own means, and the other half was this exact scenario, yoongi being bribed out like a creature from a very dark, music equipment filled den and back into society with the promise of food, a warm bed and... well, that was it really. Food and sleep, yoongis dearest companions.
"What hotpot place?" Yoongi finds himself asking as his eyes finally stop squinting to adjust to the bright fluorescent lights of the elevator that he was unceremoniously pushed into.
"That one down the street that joon-hyung told us about that he went to the other day, you know the one that just opened?" Jimin answers.
Yoongi nods. "I don't recall, but okay."
Jimin giggles and then taehyung gags and shoves him into the mirror and yoongi zones out, staring at the steel grey metal of the elevator doors, finding himself staring at a severely warped version of himself, face stretched out and neck too long. He would laugh if he wasn't so exhausted. But Chinese hotpot was too good to pass up, especially if it was a place that Namjoon recommended, the man and exceptionally good taste when it came to things like this. He yawns.
"Tired?"
Yoongi looks over at seokjin with a nod, dragging his eyes for the first time over the older man. He was barefaced but still remarkably handsome in a loose tee shirt and sweats, while yoongi no doubt looked like a rat with scruffy hair and wrinkled clothing. He didn't need a warped reflection to tell him that much.
"You been in vocals all day?" Yoongi asks as the elevator doors finally ding open and they all step out into the foyer and make their way to the entrance.
"Not all day," seokjin replies. "Jeongguk was helping me with the dance for a bit, then Hoseok took over,"
Yoongi laughs tiredly, imaging it quite clearly. Hoseok was a renowned stickler for detail, and an amazing dancer. Seokjin holds the door open for the three of them as they all step out into the freezing cold Seoul air, the night sky confuses yoongi for a minute as he had entered the studio when it was still bright out and now Seoul was lit up not by sunlight but lamplight instead. Although he should be used to it by now, it happened a lot. The streets were quite empty, but they still put on their face masks just in case as they started down the path to the restaurant.
"We know where we're going, right?" Yoongi asks, stuffing his cold hands in his pockets.
"Namjoonie-hyung sent us their location, they have a table already," taehyung answers, holding up his phone.
Yoongi sniffs. "That didn't answer my question,"
"Hey," taehyung whines, swatting yoongi in the chest. "I won't get us lost I'm literally following an arrow, hyung, you just... oh, wait—"
"Give it to me!" Jimin snatches the phone from a confused looking taehyung. "Keep going straight," he directs.
"I could have said that." Taehyung grumbles.
Yoongi chooses to stop listening to the playful bickering happening around him then, because seokjin had predictably joined in and soon it would turn into a flail of limbs that he wanted no part in. He looks up at the dark sky and watches the cherry blossom trees that make a line down the street litter gentle pink petals through the air. Inspiration should strike then, but it doesn't. Yoongi turns his attention to the cracked sidewalk, but that doesn't inspire anything in him either.
"Write anything today?"
Yoongi looks up to see Jimin falling in step beside him. Seokjin and taehyung remain arguing about the direction in front, much to yoongis slight amusement. But he's learnt to tune it out by now.
Yoongi shakes his head. "Nope,"
"You've been having trouble lately," Jimin mutters, and yoongi resolutely keeps his eyes away from Jimins eyes already watching him to instead stay on the scene happening in front of them, taehyung trying to get the phone from jins hand who was holding it resolutely above both their heads.
"Lack of inspiration, I guess." and motivation.
Jimin hums. "What inspires you then? Maybe we can, I don't know, draw it out or something,"
Yoongi smiles, his chest warming at the youngers sweet suggestion. "Anything, everything, nothing," he offers unhelpfully. Yoongi looks over at Jimin then and can't help but let out a small giggle when he sees a pink petal stuck between Jimins fluff of dark hair.
"What?" Jimin asks, scrunching up his nose adorably.
"Nothing," he answers with a smile. "just — here," yoongi plucks the petal from Jimins hair and holds it in front of the younger on the tip of his finger. "Make a wish,"
Jimins cheek colour a pretty pink, yoongi always loved making the younger flush. Not that it was an exceptionally hard thing to do. Jimin closes his eyes then opens them and blows the petal off yoongis finger with red ears.
Jimin leans towards yoongi. "I wished for you to find inspiration again," he admits in a whisper, cupping his mouth with two small hands like he was telling yoongi capital secrets.
"Well, you've gone and fucked it then 'cause once you've told the secret it doesn't come true, dumbass,"
Jimin hits yoongis shoulder with a pout. "Hey, I gave away my secret for you, be good to me,"
Yoongi laughs. But he doesn't have time to reply before taehyung is excitedly announcing that they had arrived and was whisking a smiling Jimin away and to the entrance. Yoongi watches them walk in with a smile of his own, the pink fluorescent lighting of the sign above the doorway made Jimins cheeks look even more flushed than before, like he was a very cute tomato. Yoongi always had a special sweet spot for Jimin, he had a different one for all his friends, especially the youngers, but Jimin had always been slightly different.
Yoongi never had much time to dwell too much on it though, he never really did. There was rarely time for rest in a lifestyle such as theirs, always in the move, always on the go even when they were seemingly stagnant there was something to do or something to think about. Leaving not much time for free time, and even such free time like going to dinner didn't leave much room for contemplation as there were six other men to occupy yoongis attention. Other free time was spent catching up on much needed sleep. Even yoongis showers were sometimes interrupted by a frantic namjoon looking for something he'd lost or an accidentally wandering jeongguk who had no boundaries when it came to really anything. Yoongi wasn't complaining, he was always prone to loneliness so having people around him all the time fought that off, most of the time. Besides, he had his own room even though the others had to share because they knew he liked to be alone, and for a good portion of most days he was. In his studio mixing or in his room writing lyrics at three in the morning, so to fill the rest of his time with his friends was a blessing, really.
But it didn't leave much room for yoongi to get lost in thought, even when he writes lyrics he tries not to get too into his head, because then he'd fall into that deep hole he always had to stop himself tripping head first into, and the lyrics wouldn't make it past management. Not because they'd be dirty, but because they'd be a bit too dark. That was saved and reserved for his mixtape, that he really needed to hurry up and finish. But between writing for their upcoming album and finishing his mixtape, this writers block was really fucking him up the ass, for lack of a better phrase.
But at least his friends kept him from falling into melancholy, even if they didn't realise that themselves.
Yoongi is startled from his wandering thoughts when he realises that he had entered the restaurant, walked down a narrow hall into a private booth and was now being welcomed by three other men in varying degrees of enthusiasm.
That was why he tried not to get lost in thought.
"Finally, sit, sit, so we can order," Hoseok whines, patting the cushion next to him, which taehyung slides into with Jimin falling down beside him. Jin sits next to Namjoon on the opposite side and yoongi gratefully sits down at the head of the table with jeongguk in front of him with a heavy thud.
He felt a little bad about making them all wait, because it was his fault. They always had to come get him instead of just merely texting because that didn't work, they weren't to know that yoongi had already planned on leaving, anyway.
"We thought you'd gotten yourselves lost," Namjoon says, passing yoongi a menu who takes it and immediately scans his hungry eyes over the dishes.
"We almost did, because of that one," Jin gestures at taehyung who blanches dramatically.
"Me?" Taehyung splutters. "We literally only went straight, you—" he points at jin, "and you—" he points at Jimin. "Just don't trust me, that's all this is, lack of trust,"
"Don't bring me into this." Jimin mutters, not looking up from the menu.
Yoongi chuckles. jeongguk sighs loudly.
"You are kinda renowned for getting lost though," he mutters.
"Yeah but like that's different, when there's heaps of twists and turns and ups and downs I get confused, but this was just straight," taehyung makes a dramatic hand gesture to prove his point. Seokjin laughs, an entertaining washing windows sound. "Like literally just down the street, yknow, straight with nothing else, so no I didn't almost get anyone lost,"
Jin stops laughing to point accusingly at taehyung. "You confused yourself for a minute and—"
"It was re-routing!"
Namjoon puts his hands up and sighs. "Can we please stop, taehyung look at the menu and order cause you always take the longest, and Jin-hyung please do the same,"
Seokjin kisses his teeth but complies, while hoseoks shoulders shake in silent laughter behind his menu at their eldest hyung getting respectfully ordered around. Yoongi watches in amusement like he always does.
"Is it fucking pick on taehyung day or something, Jesus..." taehyung mumbles, picking up his menu with a pout.
Yoongi places his own down and scans his eyes around the restaurant in the comfortable — finally — silence. It was a subtly traditional restaurant that was classy yet rustic, with hanging lights and traditional red paper walls surrounding their table. It was cozy, so he hoped the food was good cause with just the atmosphere alone he'd come here again. Yoongi scans the table and his eyes fall to jeongguk. The youngest was looking at the table with the menu folded in front of him, he'd probably already chosen what he wanted. Yoongi nudges his foot under the table — which was a feat for his short legs — and the younger looks up and meets his eyes after a moment.
"You good kook?" Yoongi cant help but ask when jeongguks sleepy eyes look at him from above dark under eyes.
Jeongguk nods. "M' just a little tired,"
Hoseok coos and places down his menu, bringing jeongguk into a very reluctant — on jeongguks part — hug, cuddling the younger to his side and squeezing his cheek against the top of his head. "Our hardworking jeonggukie, dancing all day~"
"Yah, hyung—" jeongguk tries to break free from hoseoks forced cuddle but eventually succumbs and relaxes against the elder with an annoyed expression. But yoongi notices jeongguks head snuggle a little into hoseoks cheek and fends a knowing smirk from spreading across his lips. Jeongguk always did that, pretend that he doesn't like unannounced skin ship, but secretly the little shit loved it and they all had to pretend not to notice.
Eventually jeongguk is released and the table order. Yoongi gets a beef and black bean stew and they all order various meats and vegetable to add to the hotpot in the centre later. Another conversation starts up, this time about the new album, but just as yoongi is about to join in a voice from behind him suddenly speaks, cutting through the conversation and making everyone look confused over towards the voice and then to and fro from yoongi and the person behind him, and yoongis whole body freezes up in an instant.
"Yoongi? Is that you?"
This was not fucking happening.
Not now.
Now now.
Fuck, not now—