A/N: I apologise immensely for what you are about to read. I cried MANY times writing these next 2 chapters :(
Chapter 21
A chorus of blasters cock and Chewie yowls in realisation of what me and his best friend are now doing.
Kylo Ren turns aggressively and I wish I could see his face, just to see if anything he really says is true.
"Han and Y/N Solo, I've been waiting for this day for a long time," his modulated voice crackles, sending chills down my spine and bile to my throat. Together, we begin to walk towards him, cautious of the lack of railing on either side of us. There's a mechanical whirring and with a quick glance I spot Rey and Finn now looking horrified down towards the three of us on the bridge.
"Take off the mask, you don't need it," Dad says strictly, stopping halfway across the bridge and me just behind him.
"What do you think you'll see if I do?" Ren asks, straightening his spine to make him seem aggressively taller.
"The face of my son," he replies more softly.
"And my brother," I tell him, shakily but confident. The click and hiss of air that releases from the helmet startles me, half because I didn't expect him to actually take it off and half because of the deafening silence filling the echoing hall of sorts.
The first time seeing his face other than in my nightmares is surreal and terrifying all at once. He's changed. His face is more slender, his hair longer, his eyes filled with pain and torture. However his lips and nose remain the same. He can change his name and attire all he wants, but he's still my brother. Still Benny. Which is probably why the sight brings actual pain to me. This is all Snoke's fault.
"Your son is gone," he informs us matter-of-factly. "He was weak and foolish like his Father, so I destroyed him,"
He doesn't mean that, I think over and over in my head.
Dad takes a few long steps towards him and follows a small distance behind. "That's what Snoke wants you to believe, but it's not true. My son is alive,"
"No," his voice gets dangerously deeper. "The Supreme Leader is wise,"
"Snoke is using you for your power, when he gets what he wants he'll crush you," now standing face to face with him, I can see the small scars covering his face. "You know it's true,"
He actually seems to believe it for a moment, his face doesn't show it but his eyes do. They turn back to the same brown colour that he shares with our Mother, exhaling a shaky breath. "It's too late,"
"No, it's not," I tell him, seeing the stoic tears begin to fill his eyes. "Leave here with us, come home. We miss you,"
He looks directly at me and his lip starts to tremble. "I'm being torn apart," his voice cracks heartbreakingly. "I want to be free of this pain. I know what I have to do but I don't know if I have the strength to do it. Will you help me?"
Dad steps straight in his eyeline and I stay in my spot close behind. "Yes, anything,"
"Always," I reassure him with a nod.
He's still. But then the heavy sound of his helmet hitting the floor echoes and he takes out his makeshift saber, painted black and wires awkwardly sticking out from when he took his old one and remade it into what it is now.
From where I am standing I can't exactly see what's happening but I'm almost certain that he is handing it to Dad. The entire room is silent. Too silent. It gives me a bad feeling. It goes darker and the sun begins to fade.
Then the worst sound possible interrupts and the end of his red saber points in my face. And out of Dad's chest.
"Dad!" I screech as Chewie howls in pain. I can hear Rey shouting as well but it's all faded away as my ears begin to pound.
He raises his hand up to his face and a sob erupts from my chest. Just as he's about to fall, I use the force and levitate him over to the opposite platform. Not even caring at this point if Kylo falls off the side, I rush past him and towards where I have laid my Father's dying body.
"Dad," I crash to the floor and rest his head on my lap. "Daddy, please don't go,"
"I have a bad feeling about this, Tiger," he chuckles breathlessly as his eyes begin to flutter shut.
"No, don't you dare leave me," my chest heaves and the world seems to stop. "I can help you, I-i can-,"
"If you help me now then I'll lose you," I stroke a hand through his course, greyed hair. "Do you remember that song I would sing to you at night?"
I nod with a forced smile. "Every word,"
"Can you sing it for me?" he asks softly and although it seems impossible to even speak when I have tears streaming down my face and my throat is tight, I want his last moments to be the most pleasant.
"Of course," I hold his hand with my free one and continue to stroke his hair. "Blackbird singing in the dead of night,"
All the memories I have with him seem to flash through my head.
"Take these broken wings and learn to fly,"
Being carried on his shoulders around Endor and nearly being knocked out by a low branch.
"All your life,"
Being shown how to control the Falcon for the first time and being worried he'll scold you if you get it wrong but he just tells you "it's fine" and that "one day you'll be a better pilot than I ever was".
"You were only waiting for this moment to arise,"
Showing him your Jedi robes for the first time and him covering his eyes because he thought he wasn't allowed to see you.
"Blackbird, fly,"
Him showing you how to play the hologram game on the Falcon and letting you win every time.
"Blackbird, fly,"
All those nights when he'd wake you up from your nightmares after the massacre and hug you till you fell asleep again, softly humming you into a deep sleep.
"Into the light of a dark black night," I kissed his forehead. "I love you," I sense him sending a final 'I love you' to Mom. Another sob wracks through my chest as I feel him fade peacefully away. A scream tries to come out but it's silent and nothing does.
The pain is unbearable. He was my best friend and always has been. It feels as though my heart has been ripped right out from my chest. I'm pretty sure someone could actually come and do it and it'd feel less painful than this.
Shakily standing up, now more full of anger than sadness, I storm towards Kylo. "You," I snarl, approaching him at full force. "How could you!"
Chewie howls loudly and shoots his crossbow, hitting Kylo in his torso and skimming sharply past my shoulder blade enough to burn it. Blasters start to fire left, right and centre and I see Chewbacca take out the detonator.
"Chewie, no!" I shout from my spot on the bridge, but it's too late. There are multiple explosions going off one after the other, none thankfully destroying the bridge. Noting Rey and Finn rushing out from the balcony, I follow their direction without really thinking of what I'm doing.
Running past Dad's body, another sob escapes my tightened throat but I look away completely, fearing that I may faint out of heartbreak if I do.
I quickly catch up to them, Rey grabbing my hand as I see the tears falling down her face too. We get to the forest, Finn leading the way to the Falcon. That is until the broken crackling of a lightsaber fills the cold, evil air.
I step in front of the two, although both are armed, and ignite my own saber. The contrasting colours of red and gold light up the section of the forest.
"We're not done yet," he snarls towards me.
"You killed him. You're a monster," I very nearly scream at him. "You killed my fucking dad!"
I wanted to mourn. Mourn the loss of my beloved Father and best friend. Mourn the loss of my brother and the relationship I once had with him. There wasn't enough time. I needed to finish what we came here for and get home to the last piece of blood family I have, my Mother.
"It's just us now. Han Solo can't save you now. Daddy can't save you now," he begins hitting his side in an animalistic sort of way. Something Ben Solo used to do when he was hurt but wanted to carry on with training or whatever else he was doing. Blood falls onto the snow below our feet and I'm suddenly very aware of the stinging in my shoulder as specks of blood begin to seep through my light long sleeved top.
Rey lifts up her blaster but she is thrown into the tree with literal brute force with a scream. Finn and I rush to her side and I check her over for injuries, but she's completely out of it.
"Traitors!" Kylo shouts from behind us as he spins his saber.
Finn and I take a battle stance and we both get our lightsabers out, igniting them. The blue from Luke's saber obviously startles Kylo as he points towards him.
"That saber, it belongs to me," he snarls as our grips tighten around our swords.
"Really?" I scoff with my game face on. "Come get it then,"
Finn yells as he pounces towards Ren and I follow. He gets some good hits before I join, remembering all of my training from all those years ago. Finn falls to the ground and Ren turns, hitting his side again as he winces. I take the opportunity to attack, trying to focus on the balance in the force. Light and Dark. I try to not allow my anger control my actions but that isn't exactly easy when I have just witnessed my own Father's death at the hands of this evil Sith-wannabe.
You see, my style of fighting is elegant and thought out whilst still unpredictable and strong. Whereas Ren's is careless and angry, dealing with the consequences when they come.
"How far you've come, Y/N," our sabers clash and our noses flare. "You could join me and we could be stronger than anything in the galaxy,"
I almost want to laugh out loud but I focus more on the fact that, although my shorter stance compared to his, I now have him pinned to a tree. "I see you still have a shitty sense of humour, Ren,"
That's when he flips me and now I'm stuck against the tree with his broken blade dangerously close to my face. Thankfully, Finn raises from behind and quickly he is now fighting him and is shortly pinned against another tree. He screams in pain as one of the sides of Kylo's lightsaber burns into his arm but he retorts by pushing him away and slashing his arm in defense.
Stepping back into action, I approach the two but then Finn is disarmed and the saber sticks into a pile of snow and he slashes up my friend's back, rendering him unconscious.
Looking at each other for a second, I have a flashback to when Ben and I would hear there was only one of Mom's cakes left and we would rush to get to it first. Of course he would always share it but this isn't one of those times.
Both of our hands outstretch and the saber wobbles as if it's deciding who's worthy. He grunts beside me and uses more force to get it, as do I. However, when it finally gets out of the snow it nearly knocks the two of us out, speeding past us and into the hand of Rey.
I knew it chose her, I think with a smug grin. The look on Kylo's face is laughable. She ignites the blue saber as he does with his red. I take the opportunity to rush to Finn's side, knowing fine well that she can take him.
"Oh God," I gasp, seeing the slash down his back. Unsure of what to do, I feel the skin around his back and feel it burning so I grab a handful of snow and spread it over his skin. The sound of clashing sabers now getting further away, I stand back up and wipe my now wet hands on my pants.
I run towards the distant sound of sabers but a tremor in the ground shakes my stride. Looking towards the base, I see it halfway through exploding and cheering a little, knowing somehow that it was Poe who did the final damage. Deciding then that my moment of celebration was over, I hastily continue towards the dim lights of the two sabers.
Finally spotting the two, I jump as Rey jabs him in his shoulder and again. Then they clash against each other and she disarms him before swiping up.
"Rey, no!" I scream, feeling protective of him for some reason. However, it's too late and she stands over him as he sits up with a harsh, jagged gash across the right side of his face.
The floor shakes more violently and soon splits the space between the three of us, Rey on my side and Kylo on the floor of the other. I look at him once again, he's disheveled, broken, defeated by someone who didn't even know they had the force - hopefully taking a chunk out of his ego for me.
She seems in shock as she faces me and I grab her hand, leading her towards Finn's injured body. Finally reaching him, she falls to him and turns him over.
"Finn, Finn?" she panics as she shakes him.
"He'll be ok, we won't lose him too," I tell her, more so trying to convince myself.
The rests her head on his chest as she pants, but our separate thoughts are interrupted by a bright light and for a moment I think it's the end of everything. The explosions have gotten us and our fate is sealed. But no, instead we are gifted with the sight of the Falcon and Uncle Chewie bittersweetly in the pilots seat.
He lands and helps carry Finn on board as Rey joins him as co-pilot. I try to move from the seat I have taken next to Finn's bed but I wince painfully, feeling the energy drain out of my body. I rest my head against the back of the ship as a singular tear falls down my face, my lip trembling in grief and in pain.
All my muscles and joints ache, so does my heart. The pulsating pain in my shoulder becomes more apparent and I bring a hand up to the wound, seeing my hand blurrily in front of my eyes now covered in crimson.
I let my eyes flutter shut out exhaustion. Drifting off into a nap filled with all my greatest memories of the family I used to have.
I'll see you again soon, Dad. I know I will.
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So, how was that you all?