in the past, there was a chapter where i asked people to submit questions to the characters of the story. it has since been deleted (unpublished heh), but here are the answers! not in a normal format, though.
read to find out ;)
also...
To clear up confusion, I am : Nina
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A teenage girl stands on a stage, scrambling to hand out microphones to the very confused interviewees. "Why are we even here?" Minho asks, judgmentally looking around him. "Are we on some kind of show?"
The girl only shushes him and clears her throat, addressing the audience. "Hello, everyone! You've asked your questions; now it's time to answer. They don't really know what's going on, but we've temporarily taken down a few walls in their minds so that they give us the information we desire! I'm your host, Nina, and it's my pleasure to present you with the answers."
She crosses over to Felix, first. "Lee Felix, I've got a few questions for you."
"Shoot, then. Unless you want me to be your boyfriend, because I can't do that. First of all, you ain't a dude. Not your fault. Second of all, Changbin is right there." Felix smiles at that, his eyes crinkling. Changbin sends him a small, fond wave, making all the viewers collectively UwU.
Nina only nods, judgmental as Minho was. "Yes, yes. Okay. Our first question, asked by Nana, known to most as FeLiXeU_skzee, is this: 'how does it feel to have accomplished your goal seventy-seven steps ahead of the book?' Felix, your answer?"
"Wow, okay. I feel... incredible? I don't even know—"
"Book?" Changbin cuts in. "There's a book?"
Felix pales. "Ha... nope. Um, yeah. It just... it feels great, y'know? I didn't actually think I'd be able to, but... yeah. Can't say much else, since Binnie doesn't really know what I mean."
Changbin gives him a side-eye look. "Yeah."
"I know!" Jisung exclaims, grinning. Minho puts a hand on his shoulder to guide him back into a sitting position. "But I won't say, because I'm smart and mature like that."
"Okay, Felix. Second question for now, asked by FBI_KpopMumfan. We can return to you later. 'Do you still wanna strangle Jisung for saying "Call Felix's boyfriend"?'"
Jisung's eyes fly wide open as he scoots back in his chair. "You—what?"
"No, not anymore, Ji. Don't worry. You're safe from me, since your act of recklessness caused Changbin and me... it feels so weird saying it! It caused Changbin and me to be in a relationship. Which we're in now, by the way. Which is a fact I still cannot wrap my mind around."
"Well, I'll give you a minute or two to recuperate as we move on to Changbin's questions! The first one, from its_seodark, has a bit of background context for you. Not only will this clear things up for you, Changbin, but for some of our other interviewees, as well!"
Changbin raises a single eyebrow. Or... not single. Nothing about Changbin is single anymore, which is a fact that Felix can't wrap his mind around.
"'Felix followed a book, called How to Get a Boyfriend 101 to get you to like him (I'm sure you already did). How does this make you feel?' They went on to say, 'Also, you're awesome; keep going ㅋㅋㅋㅋ.'"
Changbin slowly turns to Felix. "This is the book? Really, Lixie? You used a book?"
Felix blushes and hides his face behind a brand-new, pink turtleneck's sweater paws.
"Maybe."
"'Maybe'? Lix, that's adorable."
Felix looks up. "You really think so?"
"I know so," Changbin says with a definite nod. "And, to answer the question, I feel quite honored. Felix spent money on a book? And then he read the book? And now—wait, it does feel quite strange to say it—we're dating. And about me being awesome... I mean..." He spreads his hands mock-magnanimously. "Have you met me? I'm the second most awesome person out there. Felix is first, obviously. But I'm second."
Jisung only snorts, putting a hand up to cover his mouth. As if, he thinks, certain that he is definitely the most awesome.
Nina slowly turns her head to look back at Seungmin. "Well, there's one person here who is more awesome than all of you combined. But I'm biased, so I don't think—"
"Wait, me?" Seungmin asks, his face turning red.
"Hey." Hyunjin glares at Nina. "Back off, lady."
Seungmin's head whips around to Hyunjin, bewildered. "Huh?"
"Never mind," Nina says. "Okay, next! Felix, Changbin, we'll return to you boys later. Now, on to the one and only... Han Jisung!"
Applause comes out of nowhere, making the teen in question grin cheekily. "Yes, 'the one and only.'"
Now, not only have Minho and Nina dished out judgmental looks, but Jackson Wang, Seo Changbin, and Bang Chan have, too!
"Yeah, okay. From AllyTheAwesomest, we have a question that all the straights are dying to hear the answer to. Jisung, 'How did you find out you were da big gayyyy'?"
Jisung's mouth falls open as he struggles to collect his thoughts. "I... um, well, I kind of just... I don't know. I looked at girls, and thought, 'Hey, my ding dong isn't perking up.' Then I looked at Chris Hemsworth, and... oh, boy..."
From his condo in a galaxy far, far away, Chris Hemsworth blushes.
"Fascinating," Nina says. "Another question, also for Jisung. Well, technically two, but they're very similar. From multifannedtoomuch: 'How does it feel to be the chaotic matchmaker of the century?' And from Kp0pper101_, we have 'How does it feel to be the most evil yet adorable matchmaker of the century?'"
"Woah, I don't know, actually. You tell me, Nina. Didn't you write th—"
"Moving right along," she says, smoothly transitioning to Minho. "My fellow cat lover, savage-word-spewer, judgmental-look-giver, and time-zone-birthday-twin, Minho!"
Nina receives no reaction from Minho, and her smile falters a bit.
She takes a breath in, calming herself. Remember, Seungmin is watching, Nina. Get a grip. "Right off the bat, jeongins_elbows asks, 'Are you and Jisung...?'"
Many things happen in the span of five seconds.
Jeongin glances at his elbows, saying, "What?" He blushes and self-consciously covers them. "My elbows are interested in Minho's love life?"
Jisung's eyebrows... disappear. Into his hairline, probably. Under the bangs. But, without further investigation, they seem to be gone. "Oh?" he asks, fighting the blush under his skin. Do not betray emotions. Do not betray emotions.
Minho scratches his neck. "Uh—"
"That's disgusting," Kim Yasoo (the female dog) butts in. "Plus, they're already dating. Jisung told me so himself, although Minho denied it moments later." She narrows her eyes. "Wait."
"That seems to be enough of an answer," Nina says, awkwardly glancing down at the cue cards. "Minho, how about a different question?"
"You just asked one."
"And you just answered; I'll just ask another one. linogoesmeep asks, "What did you do with Jisung the night y'all got a little tipsy?"
Chan turns red. "I can answer that," he says.
Jisung's and Minho's eyes grow wide. Neither remembers what happened.
"It was perfectly safe, entirely PG-13. I think Jisung put the, uh, protection up his nostrils, which is why two are gone. I hope. Maybe." He bites his lower lip. "Probably not," he whispers. Jeongin stifles a laugh.
"Oh, Jeongin, you find something funny?" Nina asks, whirling around to change the topic. Anything but that. "A very soft question from baNana-Jaemin: 'Can I please hug chu?' Followed by a few emojis which I cannot speak out loud. But they're cute; trust me."
Jeongin grins widely and runs to the nearest camera, giving it a hug.
Everyone collectively says, "Aww..."
He glares.
"Stop treating me like I'm four; I just gave the person their damn hug. I had alcohol a few days ago, and I just turned nineteen."
Unsure of how to continue, Nina simply waves him back over to take his seat again. He complies, although he gives everyone a pointed look.
"Now, Chan, 3rxchasauce wants to know what else is big, other than your nose and your feet."
Chan nods appreciatively, blowing air out of his mouth as he thinks.
"Well, I'd have to say..." he furrows his eyebrows. "Uh..."
Chan looks down.
"My, uh, my big toes are pretty big...
"Especially when compared to my other toes."
Nina sighs and shakes her head. "You people are impossible."
"Your mom is impossible," Felix blurts out. "Sorry."
Dying inside and dreading what will come next, Nina looks at her next cue card. She throws it on the floor and grinds her shoe into it. "_Midnxghtskys," she begins, her voice barely contained as she struggles with the pronunciation of the repetitive consonants, "calm down."
Everyone stares.
"What?" Minho asks, voicing everyone's thoughts. "What did it say?"
She glares at the camera. "It wasn't even a question."
"But what was it?" Seungmin implores her, making eye contact.
Eye contact. Nina dies inside. "A joint request for both Hyunjin and Seungmin. 'sMaSh yAlL uwu.'"
The silence stretches on for what feels like an hour. After what is, in actuality, merely a few seconds, Hyunjin awkwardly rubs his nose.
"Can we just—?"
"Yeah. Individual question for..." Nina glances around, thinking who to ask. "Felix! Why don't we head on back to Felix."
His relaxed expression of neutrality quickly morphs into one of panicked horror. "Why?" Felix shouts, stretching out the syllable and falling to his knees.
"Would you rather murder your entire family or the whole population of Africa??" Felix blanches, nearly falling out of his seat at the question asked by HIDINGFROMMYFRIEND. "Well?"
"I, uh..." Felix looks around, realizing that his parents are not included among the 'cast members' at the interview. "Africa lives to see tomorrow. Plus, murdering zero people is much easier than murdering... not zero. Killing 1,338,440,292 people is a bit of a daunting task."
Jisung doesn't dare point out that Felix is part of his family; he doesn't want to condemn himself, Sanghyuk, and his own parents. For once, he holds his tongue and doesn't correct his best friend.
Jackson slowly raises his hand, and everyone turns to stare at the judgmental look he still hasn't wiped off his face. "Yes?" Nina asks, a little impatient. She wants to ask Seungmin a real question, not that... demand. She shudders at the memory from mere moments ago.
Putting his hand down, Jackson clears his throat. "Are there questions for me? Why am I here?"
"I'd also like to know," Mr. Park and Kim Yasoo say at the same time. Minho's parents glance at each other, also questioning their presence. Likewise, Nina's family and friends all exchange confused looks.
Nina sighs. "Changbin, you can wait a little, right? The rest of the main people? Yeah? Okay, Jackson. Another question from linogoesmeep, or, rather, three questions: Why are you always at parties? What do you do at parties? And, my personal favorite: How have you coped with not being able to go to parties because of COVID-19?"
Jackson grins. "Why am I always at parties? It's simple. I'm a party animal, and parties are chaotic zoos. I go there to vibe in a closed, contained space and be fed."
Changbin and Jisung both smirk at Chan. "Wow, isn't it funny that Chan hosted a recent party? Wow, wouldn't that make him a zookeeper?" Jisung asks.
"Wow, such amazing jokes," Changbin compliments. "But, honestly, Chan's a nice guy who just—"
"Moving along," Chan cuts in. "Jackson, the other two questions?"
"Yes. Uh, what do I do at parties? Party, obviously. Duh. And how have I coped with not being able to go to parties..." he trails off, frowning. "It's been rough, man."
"Yeah, uh-huh. There were more, similar questions, so we'll give an honorable mention to felhonggukbiased and FBI_KpopMumfan," Nina says, lightly clapping. She urges the crowd to clap, applauding two of her many beautiful, amazing readers. Readers that she loves more than she can express, although she's already said that a million times. Never enough times, though.
"And what about me?"
Everyone sighs and rolls their eyes at the sound of Yasoo's annoying voice. Her lips stick together oddly, due to the insane amount of hot-pink lipstick binding them to one another.
"Yes, what about you?"
"Is there a question for me?"
"Yes."
"And?"
Suddenly, Jeongin cries out in pain as his elbows split open. "Yasoo," they chorus, "where did you go? And stay there."
"No, no, no!" Nina shouts at the CGI editors. "Wrong jeongins_elbows. We've already received a question from them; can't you realize that?" She sighs. "Jeongin, I am: so, incredibly sorry."
He offers a weak smile. "Hi, so, incredibly sorry. I am: Yang Jeongin."
"Um, excuse me; I still exist," Yasoo butts in.
Felix purses his lips sympathetically and shakes his head. "No, sweetie, you really don't. Bye-bye!"
Yasoo disappears in a puff of smoke.
'And stay there...' echoes.
"Okay, so..." Minho's dad looks around. "Why are we here?" he asks, gesturing at himself and at his wife. "And what is this about our son—"
"They don't have a reason to be here, either," Minho cuts in. "Bye-bye!" Minho's parents disappear in a puff of smoke, too, and Minho mutters, "good riddance."
Nina's friends all huddle together in a small group, unsure of why they're on stage with a bunch of 'gay, Chinese boys.' "Nina...?" one prompts.
"Oh, right! A question that I feel uncomfortable saying, asked by FeLiXeU_skzee and seconded by Kp0pper101_ : 'Nina's family and friends; how do you tolerate being around such a perfect person?'" Nina blushes, slightly cringing with affection.
Let's just pretend that they answered, because coming up with some kind of response will probably cause her not to be able to host the show anymore. Yikes.
"So, have you covered all the extras?" Jisung, ever the narcissist, asks.
Why is Nina making Peter so rude?
She has no idea.
Why is she insulting him when she loves him, and he will not leave her alone during the GO LIVE teasers?
Don't ask; she doesn't have a clue.
Will people read this a few years in the future, laughing at us poor schmucks who weren't ready for GO LIVE?
Yes, they will.
Does that blow Nina's mind?
Yes.
Is writing this suddenly awkward?
Yes.
Nina is going to go do something else for a while, then return to continue writing.
« 1 hour of skz crack vids later »
Nina has returned.
"I'm still here," Mr. Park offers. "And questioning every aspect of my life that led to this moment."
Ah, yes, Nina thinks. "3rxcha sauce asks, 'JYP oppar, how are your kids—plural, as in, many many—doing?'"
He glances around. "I'm, uh... I have only one. But I guess you can count these guys as my kids," he continues, gesturing at the FROG Kids. "But this is where the real zoo is."
Chan sighs with visible relief, barely audible over the sound of the sudden animal imitations from Felix, Changbin, Jisung, Hyunjin, and Jeongin. At this point, it sounds more like a jungle circus than a zoo.
"Now, here is an interesting question, asked by frickinsomnia. In all caps, they wrote, 'WHEN ARE WE GOING TO GET A CHANGBIN POINT OF VIEW CHAPTER?'" Nina purses her lips. "That's quite a fascinating idea, actually. I haven't thought about doing anything other than Felix, but I suppose there will have to be a few extra chapters.
"There are also many questions regarding the origins of the HJFC, which..." she trails off, sharing a smile with Felix. "Which is a story for another time. But it'll come eventually, guys, so don't worry about it.
"As another, general thing, there were many questions for me regarding my writing. Guys... I'm so touched," Nina says, smiling softly at the cameras. "I read tons of books, so I've picked up all my favorite writing elements to combine them into my own style. Grammar is a bit tricky, but I think that I've gotten better as the book progresses.
"And also... I was learning Stray Kids around late July of 2019, around a month after Yellow Wood came out. I'm not entirely sure when I became an official STAY, but I like to say it was on August first, because that's an easy date to remember and it's STAYs' birthday."
Nina grins. "Finally... I'm not ready for the comeback. Easy looks so good, TA looks so good, Blueprint..." her brain explodes, "and Gone Days, On Track, TOP, and SLUMP are all amazing. Seungmin's forehead? Don't even get me started. And freaking Felix with freaking blue hair and his freaking freckles. We literally. Are. Not. Ready."
She nods to herself, reminding herself that more questions are waiting, questions that people are actually interested in hearing the answers to. "So, Seo, lafandry wants to know if you always tell yourself you have sexy abs."
Jisung nudges Felix, who blushes, and pushes him away. "I... it's not my abs... it's the biceps... but..." Changbin pulls at his shirt collar, looking down. "I suppose my abs are, too, although that's not something I'll show you. Maybe you can ask Felix in a while."
"What?" Felix squeaks, his face flushing even redder. Changbin only smirks at his cute boyfriend and shushes him, ignoring the many, many raised eyebrows surrounding them. Floating eyebrows are scary.
"Now, fabiahues wants to know how long you've liked Felix—as do some other people—but I think we can leave that subject for a certain extra chapter. If that's alright with you, Chamgbin," Nina adds, allowing him the decision.
"I'm fine either way." He shrugs. "But my name is Changbin, not Chamgbin."
Nina sighs and decides that the answer to that particular question will have to wait, just as the story of the HJFC will. She gestures for Changbin to sit down, and he does so with a polite smile.
"Hyunjin," she begins, her heart rate steadily inclining as he turns his attention to her, "baNana-Jaemin asks, 'what did you eat to become so hot?'"
"Rice?" Hyunjin muses, contemplative. "Yeah, I think it was rice."
Everyone except for Jackson quickly makes a mental note to start eating more rice, so that they can become really hot. Because logic works like that.
"Rice can do that," Nina says, nodding with respect. "Rice is hot, and you are what you eat. Which means that Seungmin must have eaten a savage, because 1MindYou1 says, 'teach me more savage ways, please, master?'"
"It's a natural talent, I think. You can't learn to be savage. You either pick up the tendencies as a child or are born that way." Seungmin shrugs. "And, plus, we can't have too many savages, because then there'd be no one to pick on. So, I'm sorry; I can't teach you."
As soon as Seungmin finishes speaking, Minho smoothly stands up and snatches Nina's cue cards from her hands. She jumps up, struggling to get them back. Minho is a solid seven centimeters taller than Nina is, so she gives up after a few moments.
"Now, I'll be reading the cue cards." Minho glances at the next one. "Bah, it's a question for Jisungie. Whatever, we can ask it later. If I remember. Chan, KpopKroissang wants to know, 'whAt's thE bEsT wEeD?' Huh?"
Chan chuckles, knowing the inside joke. "It's when I'm weed you," he says, Jeongin a side-glance. "It's a pun. Thanks, Arie!"
Nina shudders. "The insane amount of references—"
"Jisung," Minho interrupts, time for your questions. "But..." he smirks, glancing at the cameras. "But, you'll read them silently, to yourself, and say only the answers out loud."
Jisung's eyes widen as he takes the cue cards from Minho. "Okay, uh..."
He shuffles through a couple before settling on three, answering them one after the other.
"Purple hair? Sounds good; maybe, one day. I'd hide the body in the attic, because no one goes into the attic. I've actually given this nickname a lot of thought. Peter Pan? Is it because I never grow up?"
"Nice answers, Sungie. Now, you can ask someone a question."
Nina's peeved expression morphs into one of mild amusement. Somehow, she's managed to avoid more public speaking! What a relief.
Jisung grins. "Okay, Chan! I choose you. The question is from glykaVL; 'I can't sleep; what can I do??? What are you doing when you are not asleep, as well?'"
"Sleep is... evasive. Most of the time, when I'm not sleeping, I'm thinking. And, uh, breathing. No, wait. I'm always breathing. And thinking. So... yeah. There isn't really much you can do except try to relax, unless you want to give medicine a go. Think of something that makes you tranquil and happy, or... something sad? Sometimes we need a good cry; sometimes it's easier to cry yourself to sleep than to go peacefully. And that's okay! It happens to nearly everyone. The main thing is not to panic, not to think it's hopeless. Not to think that you're doomed because you can't sleep. And don't feel as if you're doing something wrong by not telling someone. When the time is right—if it ever is—then you'll feel safe enough. Of course, everything depends on situation. So what works for me might not work for someone else. Maybe you can't sleep because of caffeine, while I can't sleep because of work. And someone else might be plagued by their own thoughts, voices that won't leave their head. But the main point is that it is okay. Plus, if you ever need something, there are more people ready to talk to you than you know. Even if it seems like no one is. You're here, right? You can count on the rest of the people here."
Said people nod and murmur their agreement. Chan offers a small, comforting smile before sitting down next to Jeongin. The latter takes his hand and squeezes it, releasing his grip just a moment later.
"Now, do I get to ask something?" Chan asks. He glances at Jisung, who glances at Minho, who glances at Nina, who glances at her clock.
"No, we've almost run out of time! Everyone, why don't you say some parting words before we erase part of your memories. Then I'll say a final good-bye, and we can return to our regularly scheduled program!"
The people who spoke less bid adieu first, only saying a few short words before they go. Chan and Jeongin speak, telling of the wonderfully entertaining time.
Well, Jeongin mostly speaks for them. Chan seems to be deep in thought for some reason, his hand still remembering how Jeongin's hand felt against it. He quickly shakes those thoughts away before smiling and disappearing into a cloud of smoke, just as those before him had.
Hyunjin and Seungmin don't have much to say, Hyunjin especially. He feels cheated out of a few questions, but doesn't mention it. Seungmin decides to eliminate the last of Nina's brain cells by beaming at her.
Next, Minho speaks. He doesn't bother apologizing to Nina, instead choosing to wink at the camera and smile. Minho disappears shortly after.
Jisung, contrary to everyone before him, says a lot. He has to be cut off after five minutes of endless rambling. "I don't feel so good, Mr. Bang," he mumbles as he fades.
Nina turns to the remaining two guests, Changbin and Felix. "You guys are honestly amazing, you know," she says. "I'm so lucky to have interviewed you, but I'm even luckier to be able to call myself a STAY. Thank you both so much for being here."
Changbin and Felix barely have time to respond before they, too, disappear with a soft puff of air.
"And thank you," Nina adds. "To everyone who reads this, to everyone who doesn't. To all of you who support Stray Kids. To all of you who support me. I thank you from the bottom of my heart."
The studio lights dim with Nina's disappearance; the crew silently leaves.
But Nina's love and appreciation for you all will never fade.
<3