"Alright. Let's go." Phil says.
He gets out of the car. I climb through the passenger window before walking around the car with Phil. Stu gets out on the drivers side when Alan tries to climb out the passenger window, like I had. He falls to the ground causing the Asian man, who also got out with his bodyguard, to start laughing.
"Funny fat guy fall on his face." He laughs.
"Alright, we got the money. 80 grand, cash." Phil says, trying to hurry up.
"Throw it over. Then I give you Doug." The Asian man says.
"Um, I'm sorry. First of all, good morning." Stu says, holding the bag of money. "We didn't catch your name last night."
"Mr. Chow. Leslie Chow." The man says.
"Mr. Chow, it is a pleasure. My name is Stu. And we would very much appreciate an opportunity to see Doug...before we give you the money just to verify that he's okay." Stu says, introducing himself. "If that's cool."
"Of course, Stu. That is cool." Chow says before clapping.
Doug is pulled out of the car and I smile.
"Oh, thank God." I say, leaning against Phil.
He wraps an arm around me, smiling.
"See, he fine. Now give me money..." Chow says, "...Or I shoot him, and I shoot all you motherfuckers. And then we take it. Your choice, bitchesss..."
Phil glances at Stu. "Give him the money, Stu!"
Stu tosses the bag to the bodyguard, who catches it. He counts the money quickly before nodding.
"It's all there."
"Let him go." Phil says.
"Alright, take it easy." Chow rolls his eyes.
The second bodyguard moves Doug forward before taking the bag off his head. The man under the bag...wasn't my brother. It was a black gentlemen.
"Ta-da." Chow smiles.
"Is this some kind of joke?" Phil says. "Who the hell is this?"
I start tearing up. My brother is now officially lost. We thought we were finally a step ahead but no. Instead of my brother, we have a man I have never seen before.
"That is not Doug." Stu points to the man.
"What you talking about, Willis? That him." Chow says.
"No, I'm sorry, Mr. Chow. But that is not my brother." I tear, shaking my head.
"The Doug we're looking for is a white." Alan says, looking at Chow.
The bodyguard rips the tape of the man's mouth.
"Ah! I told you you had the wrong guy, little boy." The man says, looking over his shoulder. "Damn, Alan. What the fuck you got me into?"
"You know him?" Phil asks, holding onto me.
"This is the guy that sold me the bad drugs." Alan answers. "How you doing?"
"I didn't sell you no fucking bad drugs." The man says, angrily.
"Yes you did!" I snap, turning toward him. "You should him Ruphylin!"
"Ruphylin? I should you that Ru...? What?"
"Who gives a shit? Where is Doug?" Stu yells.
"I am Doug." The man says.
"Your name's Doug?" Phil asks, pulling me closer to him.
"Yes, I am Doug." The man says again.
"His name's Doug too. Ha! Classic mix-up." Alan chuckles.
"Hey, Chow. You gave us the wrong Doug." Phil says.
"Not my problem." Chow says.
"No, fuck that shit! Now, you give us our 80 grand back and take him with you." Phil snaps.
"No. come on! I'll be your Doug." Black Doug says, desperately.
"No! You are not my brother!" I snap at him.
"Oh, yeah, okay. I'll take him back." Chow says. "Right after you suck on these little Chinese nuts!" He gropes himself.
"Oh. That's nasty." Black Doug says.
"How that sound?" Chow smirks and gets into his car. "So long, gay boys!"
"Wait a second." Phil says, letting me go.
"He's a nasty little motherfucker." Black Doug mumbles.
"Did you ever get any ecstasy?" Alan asks him.
"No, I ain't got no fucking ecstasy."
I tear and fall to my ass. My brother is gone and we have no idea where he is. How the fuck am I going to explain this to Tracy? I am the worst sister ever. My brother...my twin brother is missing...
"Goddamn it!" Phil yells.
"Gosh darn it!" Alan copies.
"Shit!" Phil yells again, kicking sand.
"Shoot!" Alan copies once again.
We all get into the car and I stare out the window.
"We...We need to call Tracy." I mumble.
"Great idea." Phil sighs and pulls over the car.
He finds a place to get service and calls Tracy. Black Doug goes to the side of the road and pees. I sit on top of the hood, wiping my tears. Alan leans on the car to my left while Stu leans on the car to my right. I throw my shoes to the ground and sniffs.
"Thanks for the lift back to town." Black Doug says, walking back over.
"I got a question for you." Stu says, turning toward him.
"What's up?" He asks, looking up.
"How did you wind up in Chow's car?" Stu asks.
He glances at me and starts to rub my back.
That crazy asshole kidnapped me yesterday." Black Doug says.
"Okay, but why? I mean, why you?" I glance toward him before looking back at Phil in the distance.
"He thought I was with you guys because we were hanging at the Bellagio." He answers.
"What? We were at the Bellagio?" Stu asks.
"We were shooting craps. You don't remember?" Black Doug asks.
"No. No! We don't remember." I snap, jumping off the car, turning toward him. "Because some dick drug deal sold him Ruphylin and told him it was ecstasy."
"Ruphylin. There you go with that word. Ruphylin. What the hell is a Ruphylin?" Black Doug asks.
"Wow, you are the world's shittiest drug dealer." Stu says, pulling me back.
"Ruphylin, for your information, is the date rape drug! You sold Alan roofies!" I snap.
"Oh, shit. I must have mixed up the bags. My fault, Alan." Black Doug says to Alan. "Damn, Marshall gonna be pissed off at me on that one."
I roll my eyes and lean against Stu.
"It's funny, because just the other day me and my boy, we was wondering why they even call them roofies." He continues. "Why not floories, right? Because when you take them you're more likely to end up on the floor than the roof. What about groundies? That's a good new name for them."
"Or how about rapies." Alan says.
My eyes widen as I realize something. I look up at Stu. His eyes are widen as well. He realized the same exact thing I did.
"Wait, what did you say?" Stu asks.
"Rapies." Alan says.
"No you. Doug, what did you say before?" I ask.
"I said groundies."
"No before that." Stu says, smiling slightly.
"You said, 'you're more likely to wind up on the floor than...'" I say, glancing at Stu.
"Phil!" Stu yells.
Stu and I start running toward Phil. Stu tackles him to the ground before tossing up the phone to me.
"Tracy! It's Em." I say, a little out of breath.
"Em. Talk to me. What's going on?" She asks, worried.
"Nothing. Don't listen to Phil. He's completely out of his mind. He's probably still drunk from last night." I giggle slightly.
"Where's Doug?" Tracy asks.
"He's paying the bill. We just had a wonderful brunch and we're gonna be leaving soon." I say. "We gotta get going. We'll see you soon. Bye" I quickly hang up the phone.
"Stu! Fuck." Phil says, rolling over. "What the fuck, man?"
"We know where Doug is." Stu says, excitedly.
We help Phil up and hurry to the car. Phil is driving. I'm in the passenger seat with Stu, Black Doug and Alan in the back.
"I don't know, mean. It just hit me." Stu says, smiling.
"You remember when we saw Doug's mattress impaled on that statue?" I ask Phil.
"Yeah, we threw it out the window." Phil sighs.
"No, impossible." Stu chuckles.
"You can't open windows in Vegas hotels." I answer.
"Well, then how did it get...Oh, my God!" Phil realizes.
Stu and I start laughing. I start bouncing in my seat slightly.
"Wait, what's going on?" Alan asks, confused.
"Doug was trying to signal someone." Phil says, glancing in the rear view. "Wait, how did you guys figure that out?".
"Doug made us realize it." I answer.
"Doug?" Phil asks.
"Uh, not our Doug. Black Doug." Stu says, glancing at him.
"Hey, hey, easy with that shit." Black Doug says.
"Sorry but it's the only way to tell you guys apart." I say, looking at him.
"Alright but be careful with it." He nods.
"Can someone tell me where white Doug is?" Alan asks.
"He's on the roof, Alan." Phil says, driving..
"Yes!" I giggle.
"He's on the roof. We must have taken him up there as a prank so he'd wake up on the roof." Phil says.
"Like that time in summer camp." I giggle.
"We moved his sleeping bad out in the jetty at the lake." Stu chuckles. "Which was hilarious. It's not so funny now though, because we forgot where we put him."
"You guys are retarded, you know that?" Black Doug shakes his head.
"Holy shit. You think he's still up there?" Alan asks.
"There's only one way to find out." Phil says, speeding up.