A STRAINED SILENCE started to rise in the air as different pairs of eyes looked around the beach, brain processing the mellow phrase that came out of reiner's mouth. it was uncomfortable, the ringing static of silence. the two could only hear the waves that crashed against one another, dread and regret pooling in their stomach until they felt puking. y/n looked at the ocean with wide eyes, gaping at the gentle waves of the water as her mind repeated the phrase over and over again until her head started to pound.
y/n felt her breath hitch and the invisible walls started closing in, making it slightly hard for her to breathe and her mind shut down, leaving her quiet and unresponsive. she couldn't immediately say something to her friend, and even if she wanted to, what was she supposed to say?
wow, she couldn't believe it. was this a prank? a joke? the person that reiner actually likes was her? y/n could only laugh at her stupidity, especially when the blond showed signs about it back then when it was very clear and in front of her. that's who he was referring to back then, me... i go to school early. she bit her lip, no wonder he was acting cranky in the past when he found out about my 'boyfriend'. she thought, unknowingly gripping her pants tight with clenched fists.
not only that, reiner was more showy than ever. hugging her, ruffling her hair whenever he had the chance. it was something usual but then again... he'd always appear by her side and make sure to help her with whatever she needs. she always thought it was just him being friendly but as she looks back, there was a motive behind his actions.
"y/n?" reiner called out worriedly, his heart starting to hurt at the fact that it was taking the latter a long time to answer. "hey, are you okay?"
the h/c-haired snapped out of her thoughts and cleared her throat, nodding vigorously as she avoided her friend's stare. this exact situation, it almost felt like the first time she confessed to the blond after building up her courage for months. it was awkward and quiet, was this the feeling that reiner experienced when she confessed? it hurt as hell when she was rejected but reiner never wavered to the awkwardness, fixing their relationship within a few months.
what would happen now that it's reversed?
after experiencing that, she absolutely didn't want the blond to feel sad or heartbroken, even when he was the first one who rejected her. she doesn't hold any grudges, she still loves him, but now only as a friend. why did he have to confess when she was already in love with someone else? why didn't he gain feelings for her back then? everything would've been fine if he did. maybe both of them wouldn't suffer the pain of getting rejected if he did.
just why now?
"i-- reiner... since when?" she finally asked quietly, looking down on the sand after getting back her voice. y/n heard him sigh deeply, silent as he takes his time in answering.
"honestly," reiner mumbled, "i don't know. it just happened, maybe? i just woke up and said 'i like y/n'. that was when i found out that you no longer had any feelings for me after seeing that picture." he chuckled softly, sad eyes trained on the ocean in front of him. "but it's too late now, huh? even when that 'aaron' guy is no longer with you, i know you no longer like me." he hummed out, voice laced with pain and sorrow.
y/n bit her lip and finally had the courage to face the blond, only to gape at the sight of him looking down on the sand with closed eyes. "damn, i'm really stupid for thinking i still have a chance when it comes to you." he chuckled out before looking at the h/c-haired to flash a forced smile, the corner of his lips straining and his beautiful eyes were shining.
"i... i'm so sorry reiner. you're my best friend and i care for you a lot." she managed to get out shakily, "i'm just... i'm really not in the mood to be in a relationship right now." she lied, feeling the pang of guilt following after she said that. she didn't want to get him hopeful but she couldn't just tell him that someone else had her heart. it would create more problems and heartbreak.
she reached over the blond and took his hand in hers, giving him a small smile as she squeezed him in a comforting manner. "i'm sorry, i really am." y/n pursed her lips together and shook her head, "it's so weird how the roles reversed, huh?" she laughed out, hoping that it would lift some of the mood and tension in the air.
reiner smiled and nodded, "wow, you're right." he said as he leaned back using his arms, "maybe if i figured out my feelings back then, things would be different now."
y/n slowly nodded in agreement despite having a frown. she turned her attention to the ocean, her mind racing with thousand of questions she couldn't comprehend. she bit her lip, running a hand through her h/c hair as she thought of something to say to her friend beside her.
"hey, nothing's going to change between us, okay?" reiner suddenly exclaimed with a grin, placing his hands on her shoulders. "we're still close friends so don't you dare ignore me again or else i will knock you out." he threatened, his light eyes narrowed to show just how serious he was.
this elicited a laugh from the h/c-haired, her eyes glinting under the moonlight in happiness. the tension and awkward atmosphere was long gone and reiner doesn't look as sad as before and it calmed her nerves down, knowing that another failed confession wouldn't ruin their years of beautiful friendship. she leaned over and wrapped her arms around his waist, pulling him in a tight hug as she buried her face on his shoulder.
a bit shocked, he returned the warm embrace and let out a shaky breath. "it feels like you rejected me as revenge." he laughed out, stroking her hair in a loving manner.
giggling, y/n nodded before pulling away. "yeah, i did."
"you should go home now, it's getting late."
y/n brought her hand up and shook her head, "i will. just let me enjoy my peace here today."
raising a questioning eyebrow, he stood up and bid his goodbye before leaving the beach with a slow, sad, whistle. this left y/n alone with her thoughts and the guilt that continued to eat her alive. she massaged her temples and her brows met together as she narrowed her eyes at the sand, "reiner likes me... fuck, i knew it." she mumbled to herself before looking up at the sky with a frown.
she looked back behind her and saw that reiner was now gone. she sighed and stood up, looking around the ocean for any signs of the mermaid. "armin?" the h/c-haired quietly called out, "he's gone now. you can come out, we still have time."
y/n was met with silence.
frowning, she called out for the mermaid again. "armin?"
no response.
"fuck," she mumbled, "did he hear it? he's probably wallowing!" she asked herself, adjusting her eyes in the darkness to look out for any movements underwater. despite calling out for the blond numerous times, there was no signs of movements. y/n bit her lip, starting to notice the panic that settled deep inside her. if he did hear reiner's confession, she wanted to comfort him and explain everything in a calming manner as to not make him overthink. even if he lies that he's feeling okay in front of her, she knew that he'd be hurting silently.
"i'm sorry, it's not what you think." she mumbled quietly, wishing that he'd hear it. she lost hope that the blond would suddenly appear. there was a huge chance that he already went back home.
with sadness in her eyes, she turned around and left.
— ♦︎ —
the next night, y/n hurriedly went to the beach after parking her car. her usual calm walk turned to a sprint and her eyes glowed upon seeing the mermaid waiting by their usual spot. she let out a sigh of relief, her worry slowly disappearing by the second.
she couldn't sleep yesterday when she got home. she was perturbed for her lover who didn't show up when reiner left and questions filled her mind that night, fearing that the blond might've thought differently. did he hear her reject him? or did he leave already before she could say anything? she was scared that the blond might've thought of something else, that she no longer loved him or anything. y/n was ready to make things right.
the h/c-haired stopped beside the mermaid, catching her breath as she sat down on the sand. the blond never took his eyes off the night sky even when she made herself known, making her slightly frown. y/n reached over and pulled the blond in a tight hug, burying her face on his neck. "i'm sorry." she mumbled on his skin, her eyes watering upon feeling how cold he suddenly was to her.
soon enough, he returned the hug, making her smile and close her eyes. "don't be sorry," he whispered with a velvety voice, "you didn't know." he laughed out softly, his fingers going through her hair.
"how much did you hear?" she asked.
armin frowned and closed his eyes, "i left when i saw you hug him."
y/n pulled away, her small smile slowly turning to a frown, "i-it's not what you think, okay?" she explained nervously, scared that the latter might've thought of it as something else.
the mermaid grinned, his sapphire eyes glinting under the moonlight. "i know you two are friends... i just, uhm, there was this weird feeling in me that caused me to leave. i'm sorry." he apologized quietly, eyes downcast.
amused, y/n tilted her head. "were you jealous?"
armin snapped his head upward and looked at her weirdly, "jealous? me? no, of course not!" he defended himself, his cheeks turning red as he pouted and avoided her gaze.
y/n snorted and decided to drop it, knowing full well that the blond was indeed jealous even if he didn't want to admit it. "alright, if you say so." she dragged on, looking away to hide her smirk while the blond defended himself once more.
the silence between the two turned comfortable as they gazed at the ocean silently. armin closing his eyes as he bit his lip, one thought running in his mind since yesterday. y/n hid her face on her knees, enjoying the cold wind that sea exhausted.
"hey... what did he mean by 'it feels like you rejected me as revenge'?" armin suddenly asked, that phrase running in his mind since hearing it yesterday. he felt as if there was something more between the friends, something in their past that he didn't know about and it's been bugging him when he got back inside the walls.
y/n froze and slowly looked up nervously, watching his sapphire eyes turn to serious. she bit her lip before answering truthfully, "i used to like him back then."
and his world came crashing down.
upon seeing his eyes widen, the h/c-haired panicked and placed a comforting hand on his arm. "hey, listen! i used to like him before i met you. it was years ago so don't worry, okay?" she babbled out in a panic, seeing the heartbreak swirling in his sapphire eyes.
"o-okay." he breathed out, his tense posture slowly loosening. "can you- can you tell me what happened?"
smiling a little, y/n nodded as armin pulled her in a comforting embrace. "reiner was my first ever friend ever since i moved here. i was shy and awkward at first but he was the reason why i managed to get some true friends." she started, smiling at the memories of her meeting the others. "he's very sweet, funny and kind. he's like the mother of our group, maybe that's why i fell for him." she guessed, shaking her head as she looked at armin who now had a distant look.
even though he knew that she no longer liked her friend that way, hearing her explain how she fell for him was not a good feeling. maybe he really was jealous... seeing her hug that huge blond surely made him angry and a little hurt, but he'd never admit that.
and the tone in her voice, it really sounded like she admired him. maybe until now.
"when i told him i liked him, he said that he only sees me as a little sister. since i was heartbroken and embarrassed, i ignored him and the others but he forced me to talk to him and we became friends again. it was a stupid reason but i could never forget the embarrassment and i couldn't look at his eyes that time." she laughed quietly, reaching up to press a chaste kiss on his cheeks that washed away his worries.
"so don't worry, okay? i love you and only you. my feelings for him were long gone because i met you." that one sentence caused the blond to finally smile, his worry and jealousy dissipating in the silent night as y/n cradled his cheeks before pulling him in a passionate kiss.