Quatre - Four
School was the only thing that kept everything the same. At least, that was how Eden looked at it. If school wasn't a perfect routine, then his days would be a mess of endless change moving without him. He figured that was why he didn't mind school that much.
After the first few weeks of being in a new high school, he eventually found himself surrounded by familiar people who might as well be considered his friends. The ones he saw the most were Jordan, Mia, and Tom. Eden wasn't really sure how, but they quickly accepted him into their group.
They were all very different, but fun to be around. Jordan was all dark humor and the brooding type, Mia was all smiles and positivity, and Tom was all boredom-induced energy. Where Eden fit in, he wasn't sure. But he took what he could get, especially when he wasn't really used to what it was like to have friends.
The one thing that Eden quickly took notice of, was how often Rory would hang out with them too. He thought it was a bit weird, since he was Eden's first fuck at the school, but he didn't think about it too much. Rory would sneak away from the football team to talk to them, before having to go back to the jocks.
Eden tried not to be nosy, pretending that he didn't notice it. Today, he was sat in the cafeteria, Mia sat next to him while Jordan and Tom sat across from them. Eden didn't have food in front of him, instead distracting himself by surveying the cafeteria.
He had his elbow propped up on the table, his head lazily resting in his palm. His green eyes remained indifferent as he looked for something to quench his boredom and distract him from the unrelenting hunger building up within his gut.
That was when he spotted Fay. The boy wore a purple sweater that Eden had swore he saw on a girl once, purple clips in his hair, and sliver eyeshadow decorating his lids. Fay was sat at a different table than normal. Well, normal was a loose term.
Something that Eden noticed, was who sat where. The pattern rarely ever changed. The few people who broke that pattern, was Fay and his two fiends. Eden noticed how one of them, or all of them, would bounce around the tables each day. Fay did it the most, as though he was friends with everyone.
Today, he was sat at a table full of girls. Eden recognized them to be the popular cheerleaders. They looked like they came straight out of Mean Girls, with their pink sweats and blonde hair. Just looking at them made Eden want to puke. There was too much color, and too many girls. If Eden hadn't known that Fay was a boy, then he would have just assumed that he was just like the rest.
His green eyes drifted from where Fay was sat, sweeping across the room for something to peak his interest. Unfortunately, he couldn't seem to find anything worth his time. That was how he ended up back on Fay. He didn't know much about him, other than the fact that he was more out of the closet than Eden was.
He knew that he was French, and popular, but that was the extent of his knowledge. The boy was spunky and didn't seem to like Eden one bit. He was always riled up whenever Eden would talk back to the teachers. Eden found it to be amusing.
And he knew his name. It was hard not to. Everyone here knew his name. In fact, they wouldn't shut up about him. The school seemed to put Fay on display, probably because it helped to show how accepting they were. Eden knew it was a load of bullshit. He had seen the way certain teachers looked at Fay, and how the jocks only acted nicely when Fay was around. So, as much as everyone appeared to love him, it felt more like it was a trend to like him rather than a real emotion. That was why Eden felt a bit bad for the poor boy.
Then he remembered the things that he didn't like about Fay. Like when he heard him in the bathroom. Although that wasn't necessarily Fay's fault, it didn't fail to bother Eden day in and day out. What he also didn't like was how everyone in the school felt the need to compare them both. It made no sense to Eden. Just because they were both gay, didn't mean they had to be the same person.
Eden was all about grunge fashion and dark colors, and Fay was a total pretty boy. There was no reason for them to even be associated together. However, that didn't stop everyone from hearing about Eden's sexuality and then running with it.
The hunger never went away as Eden continued to find things to distract himself with, but he got better at ignoring it.
Sat at a table full of girls, Fay giggled at their petty comments, pretending that what they said actually mattered. Cierra, the head cheerleader, had asked him to sit with them, wanting to include him in any fresh drama they had to offer. Fay loved drama. He hated involving himself in it, but he liked knowing what was happening.
So he listened dutifully to the girls and their dramatics for the time being. He smiled and laughed, snorted and included sarcastic remarks whenever necessary. By the time lunch ended, he was sad to see it go.
Fay didn't particularly like those girls. They were all mean and judgmental, and they only liked him because he was gay, but he didn't mind them when they weren't saying anything too mean.
When school came to an unfortunate close, Fay sighed at the prospect of not having drama club today. Drama club happened on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, but often more because everyone always made extra time to meet up. This week, they hadn't planned any extra days.
Fay walked along the sidewalk, the sky a hollowed shade of grey and the wind a relentless beast making its presence known. He hummed four songs from Hamilton on his way home, repeating Aaron Burr, Sir a solid three times because it ended up getting stuck in his head.
When the gentle lavender paint of his house stood on the horizon, he began to skip the rest of the way, doing so in time with his humming. The porch steps creaked beneath his weight, growling like a hungry monster.
The doorknob was cold in his hands, obliging as he turned it and stepped inside. The house smelt of sugar cookies, a scented candle lit next to the door. Fay quietly took his converse off, setting his backpack by the door because he didn't feel like dealing with it. Besides, he didn't have any homework to do.
"Hey, Fay." Vivienne smiled when Fay entered the living room, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. It didn't take long for Fay to realize that something was wrong.
"What is it?" He asked her, sitting on the sofa next to her. He kept his face emotionless, not wanting to give away the worry within his mind.
Vi sighed, closing her eyes briefly as she did so. Once she had prepared herself, her brown eyes met his. "It's Char."
"Merde." Fay swore. "What happened this time?"
"I'm not entirely sure, it's not like he was making it clear." Vi looked more exhausted than a sixteen year old should. "He was screaming and well..." She pointed to a small table in the corner of the room. It used to have a lamp on it, but now it had nothing.
"Did you get him to calm down?" Fay drew his brown brows together, studying his sister with concern.
"He eventually started crying and ran upstairs. I tried to talk to him but it only made him angry again. I think this one might be for you." Vivienne explained. The tv hummed in the background, but neither of them payed attention to it.
"When's Maman coming home?" He asked as he stood back up, glancing at the wooden staircase.
"I'm not sure." Vi tucked a strand of long brown hair behind her ear. Fay hated how brave she always acted. The girl never allowed herself a break. "Probably in an hour or two."
"Okay." Was all Fay replied, leaving an uncertain Vivienne on the couch and heading up the stairs. They settled as he slowly went up them, approaching the second floor like he would a lion's den. With soft steps and tentative breaths, Fay found himself stood outside of the room.
There were chips in the wood, and the doorknob shook when he held onto it from all years of misuse. Fay was shocked that the door hadn't fallen apart altogether. Especially after every time Charlot had slammed it ever since they moved there.
"Hey, Char." He made sure his voice was soft and sounded vulnerable. That was the best way to do things. To seem as though he were just as vulnerable as his little brother was. "I'm here now."
"Go away." Char's small voice demanded from somewhere within the room. He sounded defeated and depressed. He also sounded enraged and resentful.
"Can I come in?" Fay whispered into the door, listening to the sounds of Char moving.
"No! I said go away." Charlot started off strong, screaming the first word, but his voice fell short by end, as though he didn't have the energy to continue.
"Do you remember that one time when Maman and CeCe took us to Larry's Ice Cream Shoppe?" A fragment of a smile found it's way onto Fay's lips as he spoke. There was no response from his brother, so he kept talking. "I ordered a banana split, but I dropped the entire thing as soon as we left. Maman insisted on going back in to buy me another one, but you told her that she didn't have to. You gave me your ice cream instead."
"So?" He heard Char's cold voice from the far side of the room. "What does that have to do with anything?"
"Nothing." Fay shrugged even though Char couldn't see him. It didn't truly mean nothing. It meant everything to Fay. "I'm coming in now."
To Fay's surprise, the doorknob turned without protest. He thought for sure that Charlot would have locked it. The room was dimly lit, only the window was offering any light at all. He saw Char's small form on the bed, curled up towards the wall as to avoid Fay's eyes.
Fay strode the length of the room, sitting down on Char's bed, but not forcing the younger boy to look at him. He remained patient and caring as he instead faced the door that he had entered through. Staring at Char would only make him feel worse.
Briefly, Fay's gaze landed on Charlot's bedside table, untouched pill bottles staring back at him. Everyone knew that Char wasn't taking his meds, but seeing them stood there so plainly caused Fay's heart to swell. He wished that Char would just take care of himself.
"Do you want to tell me what happened?" Fay asked, unable to pry his eyes away from the bottles. There were three of them. One for each of Char's woes.
"No, va te faire foutre." Charlot hissed bitterly, but Fay wasn't effected by his cruel words. He was used to the swears that Char threw around like air. Fay knew that Char always chose to swear in French because it bothered Maman. It was the only time Char ever said anything in French at all.
"I failed my math test today." Fay said instead. That was the only tactic that he ever managed to work with Char. To make himself vulnerable was the best way to get Char to feel comfortable being vulnerable too. And Fay never failed tests. So admitting that out loud to his little brother wasn't an easy thing to do. "It was like math class just gave me the bird."
"You're lying." Charlot sounded quieter than before, as though he was testing the waters.
Fay shook his head and groaned. "Swear that I'm not. I wish I was though."
"It's just one test." Char told him bitterly. "You'll be fine."
"I suppose so." Fay nodded slowly, thinking about his brother's words. "But it's not something I'm used to."
There was a pause where Fay feared that he had lost him. He was scared that Char realized what Fay was trying to do, and went right back to closing his doors. Then finally, Char whispered, "Why does nobody like me?"
That took Fay by surprise, but he didn't let it show. Small things like that were a trigger for Char. Instead, he sighed softly, pulling his knees to his chest as he just enjoyed being in his presence. "That's not true."
"Yes it is." Charlot replied, finally turning away from the wall to look Fay in the eyes. "Everyone hates me."
"That's not true." Fay repeated. "You've got me, Vi, and Maman. Cece likes you too. We all love you, Char. Family never dies."
"Papa hates me." His eyes were unrelenting as they burned into Fay's. Charlot had blue eyes, unlike everyone else in the house. They were cold and piercing, but they were also complex. There was so much to Char that Fay couldn't even begin to dream of understanding. Understanding would probably be much closer to a nightmare.
"Don't say things like that, Charlot." Fay said sternly, pinching his brows together in a scolding sort of way. "Don't you even think things like that."
"Okay." Char replied hesitantly. He situated himself so that he sat close to his brother, bringing his knees up to his chest in a similar fashion. "I like someone."
That made Fay smile. He couldn't help it. Despite all of their differences, Fay still absolutely adored Char, and he loved to hear about his happiness. "Who is it?"
"Remember Sonya?" Charlot whispered every word like it was a secret that he didn't want people to hear. Fay felt pride knowing that he was the only one that Char trusted enough.
"Yeah." How could Fay forget his little brother's first crush? She was cute and small, the nerdy type of girl. She always wore her hair in pigtails, the curly black hair a puffy mess. Fay always thought that the freckles on her dark skin were adorable.
"She, um..." He trailed off for a moment, deciding how he should word it. "She has a boyfriend." Fay involuntarily winced, figuring that Char must still like her. But when he did so, Char lightly shook his head, turning away so that Fay couldn't see his face. "It's not her that I like."
It took Fay a total of five seconds to wrap his head around what Charlot had told him. As much as he wanted to be shocked and give Char some sort of reaction, he didn't have to. "Is he nice?"
Char bit his lip to keep from crying. "Yeah. He's really nice."
"What happened?" Fay knew that this was the best opportunity to place a protective arm around the small boy. Char was smaller than most boys his age, and he was a lot more sensitive than them as well. He was only fifteen, so of course he was moody, but he didn't experience the normal sort of teenage angst that everyone else did. He was only fifteen, and yet he had already gone through a whirlwind of emotions.
With a sniffle and a small whimper, Charlot finally told Fay what had trigged him. "His name is Reggie. He was hanging out with Sonya and I when some people came up to us and started to... call us names. I tried to control myself, Fay, but I couldn't. Not when they were saying such mean things. I hurt those boys. And Reggie wouldn't even look me in the eyes after. I-I didn't mean to. They just... they wouldn't shut up. It was before school started, when I left early this morning. It wasn't even on school grounds, so I didn't get in trouble. At least n-not yet."
Fay didn't say anything at first, trying to figure out just what he was supposed to say. But Char took that as a chance to keep going. "Why do they do this to me? They know what I've done, what I'm capable of. Why do they keep trying to get me to do these things? I-I don't want to. But I can't stop once I start. Reggie had to pull me off of one of them."
"Come here, Char." Fay whispered, wrapping both arms around Charlot as though his life depended on it. In a way, it did. He rubbed circles on his back, giving him reassuring pats. "Je t'aime."
"I love you too." Charlot managed in between sobs. Unlike Vivienne and Fay, Char hadn't spent so long in France. They had moved when Fay was ten, and it was right before Char's eighth birthday. He could speak French fluently, but he rarely ever did. English was easier for him, since he had been speaking it for the more recent half of his life and he was in an English speaking country.
Fay held Charlot for an hour, just listening to the boy's desperate sobs. He didn't care that his sweater was soaked, or that his barrettes ended up lopsided. He just held him, and thought about everything. But most of all, he thought about the complex boy in his arms, and how he would never be able to help him.