*adult content included*
We went back to Damon's house and I immediately took my shoes and blazer off, crawled into his bed and turned on Friends. He laid down next to me and got comfortable. This show is the whole reason why I have my name, my mom was an insane Friends fan therefor she gave me the name Rachel. She even named my sister Monica.
This has been my millionth time watching this show, I'm back down to the last 2 episodes where Chandler and Monica get their twins through adoption from Erica.
"Twins would be cool to have, don't you think?" Damon's words pierced through my heart, I wouldn't have pinned him for the type that would wan't a family, maybe that was kind of stereotypical of me.
Tears quickly began to form in my eyes at the thought of disappointing another man..at the possibility of losing another man who has begun to mean so much to me. I knew that infertility wasn't easy, I knew that doubt would consume me, but I hadn't even thought about the possibility of having to be on my own for my whole life, not many men want to adopt. Not everyone can be a Chandler.
"Hey, whats wrong?" He quickly caught on to the fact that I was crying. I sat up in the bed, crossed my legs in front of me and turned my body to face him. Its time to have this talk with him
"Damon," I took in a deep breath hoping it would give me the strength to get through this conversation "I can't give you a family, at least not naturally" the tears continued to fall from my face "and I wouldn't be comfortable knowing that I'm holding you back from having that" now the tears were really flowing
"Princess, I don't care if its just me and you for the rest of our lives" he reached over and wiped my tears, even though more kept coming "I don't care if you decide not to do any treatments to have kids, I want you"
"Damon, you have to understand where I'm coming from.." I finally gave up on trying to stop my tears "I'm not comparing you to him, but Tanner told me that too. I'm trying to save us both from heart break"
"Rachel, there's no way I'm losing you. Point blank period." once again he wiped the tears from my face "we will figure it out when the time comes" I know it's still really early in our...relationship? I'm not even sure we are in one, but its still easier to get the conversation in early rather than years into it
I nodded, knowing that I couldn't take more of this conversation. The truth is that I'm scared, I'm scared to get into another relationship knowing that I can't conceive. All of the tests came back inconclusive so more testing is going to be needed to find out exactly what is going on in my body. I don't wan't to deal with another heart break.
The question now is, do I continue to stay with Damon, or should I distance myself for both our sake? I mean we're not officially dating so maybe its best to do it now.
"I'm going to change into my pajamas" I stood off of the bed, hearing Damon say okay behind me. I know what I need to do but can't bring myself to do it.
I walked into the closet where I had already put some of my clothes into and grabbed my grey cropped top and black and white checkered shorts. The top is cropped but its still flowy enough to be comfortable to sleep in. I stripped my clothes off of my body and slipped into the pajamas
When I got back to the bed Damon was in his boxers, he watched me as I walked back over to the bed and climbed in.
Before I could get under the covers Damon reached over and smashed his lips into mine. His hands moved up and down my body, sending a heat rush all over. I moved my hand up to the back of his head, running my fingers through his hair and tugging on it every once in a while. I pulled my body closer to his only to feel him growing against me. He reached under my shirt and pulled it over my body, quickly placing kisses all over my neck and chest while he pulled down my shorts and panties.
Warm, soft, wet kisses on my thighs sent goosebumps throughout my body. With each kiss he slowly spread my legs further and further apart until finally his tongue slid from my thigh up to my clitoris, instantly making my body heat rise. I clutched onto the bedsheets as he gently sucked on me, taking my breath away. I felt the pressure rising in my body until I came undone, I couldn't help but pant while I tried to catch my breath again.
I sat up, reaching for Damon's shoulders and pulling him down to the bed beside me. I climbed on top of him, kissing his neck and chest while his hands moved up and down my thighs eventually landing on my bottom, squeezing me slightly which only heightened my high.
I placed my body over his enlarged member, feeling an overwhelming sensation rise through my body as I lowered myself on him. I moved my body up and down, moaning uncontrollably with each thrust
"Fuck baby you're so good" he groaned, his grip tightening on my legs
His words motivated me to move faster and stronger which I could tell he liked by the way his body tensed up a bit. The more I moved the more the pressure in my body raised until once again I came undone. Damon continued to move my body on his, signaling he wasn't done yet. I continued to grind my body on his until he stopped me, I felt him soften in me, knowing he was done I climbed off of him and laid my body next to his.
Our panting was almost synchronized until it began to slow down. He looked down at me, and I up at him, and he smiled
"Be mine Rachel"