"Melanie, Go watch tv please"I said, not taking my eyes off the man in front of me.
"Ok" She responded to me before I heard her slide from the chair and the sound of her tiny feet disappearing into the next room.
I didn't know this guy, but I didn't want to leave the knowledge of Melanie in the minds of people I didn't know or trust. I charged at him as soon as I knew Melanie was out of ear shot.
It took five steps total to close the distance between us. I slammed my right fist into his jaw; with a quick left jab taking him by surprise as well. He stumbled back two- three steps I jumped slamming my left knee into his chest. This sent him flying back into the counter with a grunt. By now all shock had left his body and he was in survival mode.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" He shoved me, one hand pushing on my right shoulder. I took my left hand open palmed, and shoved it into his inner elbow and turned in so my butt was on his pelvis. Throwing my hips back and yanking his arm I threw him over my shoulder. Reaching in my holster I grabbed my gun and aimed at this head. He rolled over quickly and was on his feet. I took the safety off -
The gun was out of my hand and Jace was holding it.
"Give it back to me. Now!" I snapped at him.
"What are you doing?" He countered
" I told you to get rid of him and now look at the mess you have caused"
"He wont say anything"
"I do not trust him! And neither should you. People are power hungry especially the ones like him... If given the time and circumstances to overthrow you he would take it in a heartbeat. Open. Your. Eyes"
"Ryan. I am not letting you kill him"
I looked him deep in his eyes and I knew the look of utter disgust on my face made him sad.
"Ok, You have this one... I hope you made the right choice. Next time I kill whoever, where ever, whenever. Period" I drew out in a menacing voice.
I held eye contact walking away from him. Only breaking eye contact with him to make eye contact with the other guy in the room. I couldn't find a care to give in my mind to remember his name.
"If I were you, I'd forget about that girl and act as if she didn't exist... I can kill you with ease" I said, smiling and walking into the living room to watch tv with Melanie.
I sat with Melanie watching TV for about an hour before Jace came into the room.
"Can we talk for a minute" He asked me
"Yeah", I said getting off the couch and following him down the hall into the library. Leaving the door open I walked in as he sat in his desk chair. I stood on the other side of the desk waiting on him to speak.
"You can't just go around killing people" He sighed.
I looked around the room before responding to him. I had to make sure he was talking to me, but just for confirmation I pointed at my chest whilst speaking.
"Who are you talking to? Because for a moment there I thought you were speaking to me" I said making my way around the desk.
He chuckled slightly, "Yes, You can't just kill people because you're afraid they will stab you in the back", he said.
I straddled him in the chair before taking my forearm and pushing on his windpipe and applying pressure. Because of the position we were in I could easily knock him out or kill him. I applied enough pressure to stop his airflow, but not hurt him. Just make him uncomfortable...
"I will do as I please, When I please, I don't know what you thought this was"I said putting emphasis on thought, "but I am grown and I am single, so any decisions I make will be solely mine and in the best interest of melanie or me" I applied more pressure to his windpipe. "Comprende?" I asked.
He grabbed my wrist and pulled it down making me fall into him. He stood as soon as I lost balance, while spinning me around and pinning me to the desk with my stomach to the desk and his stomach to my back.
"As much as I love you in my lap gorgeous" He said, pulling my arm up my back to keep me in a tight hold. "I think I like this one better" He whispered in my ear. "I understand you want to keep her safe, but I want you to be happy and I know killing doesn't make you happy, so leave that to me and only when necessary... How about that?" He asked
I took my foot opposite of the arm he had pinned up my back and planted it directly by his shoving it further causing him to loosen his grip. I slipped my wrist out of his hold, spinning around. By now he had caught his balance and started to move back forward to trap me. I lifted my legs, bending my knees and tucking them to my chest. When he came forward I kicked him back. Whilst using him as a kick off to flip to the other side of the desk.
" You seriously are holding on to the hope that the Ryan you knew is still in me somewhere... I am genuinely sorry to tell you that she is not" I said truthfully.
He walked around the desk and closed the distance between us.
" People change all the time, I am not afraid of the new person you have become. My love for you has not changed. I will wait for you to fall for me again or realize that you still love me. I know I failed you, but I cannot dwell on the past. I want to make the rest of your life the best it can be. You and Melanie.I know underneath this hard exterior you're just waiting for someone to be worthy of you and I respect that, so I will work for you and your trust and for that beautiful little girl... and as much as you want to deny it I know you still love me. You may not be in love with me, but you do have love for me or you wouldn't be here in my house right now" he finished, smiling. He pecked my lips so quick I thought I had imagined it, but the boyish grin gracing his face told me I had not.
I pushed him back a bit and thought about the things he said to me. I walked back into the living room and Melanie was still napping. Bubble Guppies laughing and singing filled the living room. I laid back down on the couch and got under the covers beside Melanie.
I am not sure when my thoughts turned to dreams, but when I woke my vision was blurry and I could hear muffled voices. I blinked until my vision slightly cleared before I realized my glasses were not on. I hated looking for my glasses without my glasses. So annoying. I found them on the coffee table a few minutes later.
I made my way to the kitchen where the voices and smell of food was located. Stepping into the kitchen Melanie was in Jaces lap talking, smiling, and eating. She looked so happy. I watched them for a while before Melanie noticed I was in the room. I was one hundred percent positive Jace knew I was in the room the moment I had set foot in it. I was sure her face would break if she smiled any bigger so I walked up to her and took her out of his lap.
"Would you cut all that smiling out and finish eating?" I said, which only led to her laughing uncontrollably
I took the bowl of food that was in front of Jace and sat her in my lap to continue feeding her.
"What is this?" I asked.
"It's Vegan spaghetti," He said, scratching the back of his head.
"What?" I asked him as he got out of his chair and to the stove.
"Nothing, I just hope it's good. I have never made vegan food before", He said, walking back to me with a bowl of food and a plate of fruit.
"Thank you" I said, looking at the food and fruit. "I am just happy that you remembered, her stomach would have been messed up".
" of course. Yours has real cheese though, and a lot of it." I smiled slightly. I had an unreal love for cheese. That was something stagnant in my life.
I took a fork full of the food and shoved it into my mouth. A slight moan escaped, I loved food. I had not indulged in food in the past few years. I was an assassin again.
"Wow, this is really amazing" I said, enjoying the food that was gracing my taste buds. "Jace, this is meat..."
"Yeah, I made a different one for the two of us. I am not committed to her lifestyle, but I did get some groceries while you two were asleep for her." He told me sitting in the chair beside us.
When i finished eating and feeding her, we went back to the couch and watched a movie. I hadn't had this much time to chill and lounge around in a long time. I was thoroughly enjoying it.
When the subtitles started rolling Melanie was already asleep, sprawled out on me and the couch. Jace was also asleep. I scooped her into my arms and walked up the stairs to our room. I washed her face, neck, and changed her into her nighttime shirt and a fresh pamper. I was definitely going to have to start potty training her soon, but I knew how much effort and consistency. I was willing to put in the time and effort she needed in order to grow into an amazing young woman though. I was definitely going to need some parenting books though. I had no Idea how to raise a child, but I did know a few things not to. I changed into A big shirt after brushing my teeth and lay with Melanie. I woke up at some odd hour in the middle of the night and couldn't seem to force myself back into a slumber with a billion thoughts racing through my mind.
I really needed to open my mind and a few years ago, I would have cringed at the thought. Running... I walked into the closet and grabbed a sports bra, shirt, leggings, and shoes. I walked down the stairs and grabbed one of Jace's jackets from the stand by the door. I unlocked the door and walked onto the porch. Closing the door behind me, I walked down the stairs. I climbed over the gate and landed firmly on my feet. Sticking in my head phones, I started with slow strides to jog.
This was when I let my mind roam free. I did it when I needed to release some tension. I should have done more, but I didn't take my mental health as seriously as I should. Can you spell TOXIC? I laughed to myself at the thought. Melanie, how do i raise this child? I wasn't raised properly... I know I did not want her to feel abandoned or alone, which is why I was not going to leave her with someone else. Or was I being selfish? Someone else could probably raise her a lot better than me. No, I would not throw her to someone I could not trust. Right now I only trusted Jace, which I could not leave her with him alone. I wanted her to grow up to be strong unlike me, confident, amazing, smart, multilingual, and so much more. I could not trust this to anyone, but myself. It was important to me that she grew up to be a strong, independent, emotionally stable woman and I was going to see to it that she lived up to her potential. I think I could learn to love her... maybe i already did? I did not know too much about love. I knew what I wanted and did not want for her. I wanted her to like me as a person and not to think that I left her to the wolves... I knew that if anyone tried to harm her that I would end them in the most gruesome way I knew how to. Why couldn't I bring myself to feel this way about myself? Why didn't I love myself? Why didn't I want the same things for myself? Once upon a time, I did, What changed in me? I wish I could pinpoint every emotion in my body... Where it came from, why i felt that way, how to fix it, how to prevent it, but i couldn't. Could I raise her before I worked on myself? Would this little girl save me before I could even begin to give her valuable life lessons?
I hated that my mind always seemed to wander back to Jace... but it did. They say "Home is where the heart is'', but I think they meant mind.... It had not been long since I had been reunited with Jace and I was already feeling my walls coming down and my mental mending what I thought was gone. I did not want to be vulnerable to him or anyone for the matter, but it's as if my mind and body had other plans for me. Was I going to fall for this man all over again? Was it worth it? Was he ? Were we even compatible anymore? I didn't know him anymore. He was as much a different man as I was a woman. Was I willing to try again with him was the ultimate question. With my mind on Jace I ended up right back at his place. I thank the heavens above that he must have heard me leave because the gate was open when I returned. As my foot hit the porch my legs gave out and so did my lungs. I was gasping trying to get air in as quickly as possible with my hands on the ground and my head hung low. As my breathing started to return to normal I noticed the hand on my lower back. I looked up, taking my headphones out and letting them hang on my shoulders. locking eyes with Jace I stood and he held me in support.
"Sorry, I couldn't sleep" I said brushing his hands off and making my way into the house.
"It's fine, but i do wish you had told me"
"What so you can try to follow me on my clarity run, no thank you. I am a big girl after all" I said. Making my way to the kitchen pantry to grab a bottle of water.
"There is a cold one in the fridge" He told me as I twisted the cap off.
"I know, I prefer room temperature water and so does your body. Look it up" I said gulping down the entire bottle and grabbing another to take to the room with me.
"I ha- I'm going to bed, good night" I said walking out the room and up the stairs to my room to shower.
I was going to tell him we could be friends, but I did not want the pressure of it all. So, I decided to let it happen naturally.
I stripped out of the clothes I wore and climbed into the shower.
I knew I would need him in this journey of raising Melanie. He had parents growing up and he turned out ok... I guess.
After showering I put on a pair of shorts and a large shirt. I made my way back down the stairs and into the kitchen. Most of the things here needed to be cooked and I only knew how to make a few select foods. I could make them well, but I couldn't really cook overall. So, I just grabbed another water out of the pantry and drank it. I threw the bottle in the trash and turned to meet Jace's eyes.
"Hey" I spoke first.
"Hey, yourself" He said. making his way to me.
"What are you doing?"
"Want me to cook you breakfast?"
"Uhm, no. it's fine. Ill have cereal." I told him, making my way to the fridge again.
"Come on, I'll teach you," He said grabbing my hand and leading me to the stove.
I was thoroughly surprised with his abilities in the kitchen; I was not sure if it was due to the fact that he was a man, or because of my little knowledge in this department. He taught me how to make pancakes, waffles, turning fresh fruits into a topping, eggs, vegan sausage and muffins. I was... delighted. Was that even a word someone like me should be using? Couldn't find a care to give in that moment.
While Jace set the table I went to wake Melanie and get her ready. I climbed the stairs and made my way to our room. Getting her up we went to the bathroom to brush her teeth and fluff her hair a tiny bit once released from its bonnet. We walked down the stairs, well I did since she did not want to walk this morning. I carried her into the kitchen and sat at the placement where there was a large plate and a small one with a tiny fork and spoon. With Melanie in my lap I watched Jace bring us both glasses of orange juice before sitting down beside me. There was a sippy cup too. I knew she could drink out of a real cup, but she was still learning not to spill everywhere.
"When did you buy all of this?" I asked
"When I went to get her vegan foods the other day... I wasn't really sure what she needed, so I got some of everything" HE said scratching the back of his neck. I had noticed him doing that a bit these days. I didn't call him on it though, I was appreciative.
"Thank you" I said, putting food on our places from the options on the table. Melanie fed herself for the most part only needing me to cut her waffles, pancakes, and large pieces of fruit.
"Wow, Melanie. I am so proud of you. You ate all by yourself today. Such a big girl" I said, She embraced me. "Aw, honey what's wrong?" I asked her when her little sniffles started.
"Wyan no leve like mama wight?" She said muffled by my shirt
"Oh Melanie, I will try my hardest not to," I promised her.
Word Count 3156| Uploaded 4/20/2020
Authors Note Below
Hello, I am so sorry for the delay. I tried to make up for it by the length of this story, however, I know this is no excuse. I will be doing better. I thank all of you for staying on top of me, voting, reading, and especially commenting. Your comments and votes are honestly what brought me back. As many of my readers may also have to deal with. I have depression and if you too live with depression then you know you can episodes lasting days, weeks, months, or years. I have had some really bad break downs recently, but I am trying to take it by the horns and that for me includes not giving up on this book which I have been on the fence about for a while now. With everything in the world and in my personal life going I need and outlet and you all need entertainment. With that being said I will be your writing slave and commit to writing. When i have planned a writing schedule and have it in my agenda... I will update you all. Seeing the surplus of notifications on my phone when I look at wattpad gives me the motivation I need. I am sorry it took so long for me to act on the motivation, but i appreciate you all and love you all. Please reach out to me by personal message if you need someone to talk to. I know this can be a very trying time for those of you all who rely on friends at work or school, those with mental health issues and more. I am here for you all believe it or not.
I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and more to come soon. Thank you for being here for me and sticking with my story.