~Wren~
When I was with Albus, Astra, Colette, and Poppy, final exams were the last thing that was worried about. Even though there was only a little over two weeks until they started, all four of them seemed to have decided that there were much bigger problems in the world. That was true, of course, and for Poppy it was pretty understandable why she might not be as concerned about exams. I suppose Colette had never really worried about exams in the first place, too. However, I wasn't entirely sure why Albus and Astra were acting the way they were. They'd taken to huddling by themselves in secluded corners of the common room, surrounded by their research on missing children. After they'd questioned me four or five times ("Are you sure you've never seen four dozen children at Stillens' manor?"), I gave up on trying to join them.
On the complete opposite end of the spectrum, I'd never seen James so anxious in his life. It wasn't just his N.E.W.T.s, he told me. He was about to graduate, and had no idea what he wanted to do afterwards.
"Dad keeps telling me he could get me a place in the auror department," James told me at dinner one night. Albus, Poppy, Astra, and Colette were sitting with us, but they might as well have not been, because they were whispering about their research as if we weren't even there.
I nodded. "That would be pretty cool."
"I guess." He grimaced. "I don't really want to do that, though. Not just because the Ministry's all corrupted and everything, either. I didn't really want to do that before all this. But I don't know what I want to do..."
I patted his shoulder, hoping that was comforting. I didn't really know how to respond, honestly. The rest of your life is a big thing, and I didn't blame James for not knowing what he wanted to do with it, especially when there was a war going on.
He shrugged. "I guess I'll figure it out after exams, hmm?"
"Whatever you end up doing, you'll be amazing at it," I said, smiling.
James chuckled. "Here's hoping."
I noticed Mr. Potter walking down the Gryffindor table, headed towards us. James noticed, too, and rolled his eyes. "Hope he's not about to lecture me again about responsibility or something." I smiled sympathetically.
Mr. Potter did stop next to us. "Astra, Colette, I need to talk to you."
Astra and Colette exchanged an alarmed glance, then followed him out without saying anything. It was so quick that by the time Albus asked what on earth that was about, they were already out of the Great Hall.
"Do you think everything's okay?" Poppy asked, a worried frown on her face.
"I'm sure it is," I said, though I had no idea. I was fully aware that James was raising a skeptical eyebrow at me behind my back. Albus and Poppy also didn't seem convinced. However, we couldn't figure out what it might be, so after a minute or two, Albus, Poppy, and James started talking about Quidditch, as if nothing had happened.
Something had happened, though. Astra told us a little when they finally got back to the common room, several hours later. They'd heard from Teddy, which didn't seem like that big of a deal until Astra explained where he'd been for the past month. Apparently, he'd infiltrated one of Russey's detention centers. He'd been documenting what was going on inside of them, and apparently it was a lot worse than anything anyone had imagined. It was all going to be published in the Quibbler, so Astra didn't go into detail, though she did mention that apparently, Ferdinand Welling was in charge of the one Teddy had been in. If Colette was being quiet and moody, we should probably leave her alone.
Russey had sent out an urgent message earlier that day to all the aurors that Edward Remus Lupin needed to be to be their top priority, apparently. However, he was safely in hiding, and Astra couldn't even tell us where. James and Albus got frustrated enough to go ask Mr. Potter if they could see him, but he told them the same thing. Apparently, the fewer people who knew, the better, and Mr. Potter wasn't able to tell us where he was, anyway. Obviously, there was a fidelius charm, but Astra wouldn't even tell us who the secret keeper was (James asked three times).
The next few days were kind of wild. If Poppy's family being murdered had caught the school's attention for a while, this was a thousand times more effective. The Quibbler started printing articles about the detention centers nonstop, and Russey started public damage control almost as fast.
The detention centers are rampant with medieval torture methods, said the Quibbler.
While occasionally some interrogation tactics are used, the detention centers are solely for detaining suspects until a fair trial is possible, replied Russey.
Teddy Lupin claims he watched innocent civilians be deprived of food and sleep for days on end, said the Quibbler.
Edward Remus Lupin is a terrorist, and we can't trust what he says, said Russey.
Inmates are interrogated harshly to see if they know of anyone who might be in the DA, and tortured if they don't come up with anyone, read the Quibbler.
The only people in detention centers are those who are strongly suspected of being connected to terrorist organizations. We would never look someone up simply to get information out of them, replied Russey.
Ferdinand Welling, known associate of Henry Caymus Stillens and former headmaster of Hogwarts (where he is known to have used the dark arts punish students), runs the most heavily populated detention center, said the Quibbler.
Ferdinand Welling is a criminal, much like Edward Lupin, who is supplying this false information, said Russey.
Despite Russey's best attempts at damage control, nearly everyone was talking about the Quibbler's articles. Most people seemed at least wary of the government, if not outright against it. River and Colette staged a protest during dinner one night, which prompted Kimmel to start giving nightly speeches about how we need to make sure to get our news from reliable sources, and not trust every wild rumor that has a flashy headline, and also that these matters were best left to adults. After a week, she announced that she was banning the Quibbler. The very next morning, fifteen owls brought a copy of the Quibbler directly to her (I asked Colette if she'd had anything to do with it, and she simply winked at me). From then on, every time Kimmel tried to make a speech at dinner, she was quickly drowned out by booing that almost always started near where I was sitting at the Gryffindor table.
~~~~
"Did you hear about Edward Lupin?"
"Teddy?" Nico gave me a weird look, and I explained, "He's Astra's cousin, Nico. She calls him that. Of course, I heard about him."
"Bloody bastard," Nico said, shaking his head. "I can't believe they let that happen."
I pursed my lips, trying to imagine what kind of hell my uncle had rained down on whichever detention center Teddy had been able to infiltrate. "Yeah. It's crazy."
"Do you think what he said is true?"
I glanced at him, trying to gauge what he was thinking. I couldn't tell. "I'm not sure. But... I honestly wouldn't be surprised."
Nico just shrugged. "I heard he's disappeared."
I nodded. "That's what I've heard, too."
"Think they'll find him soon?"
I shrugged. "The DA is really good at hiding people, even if they're not good at anything else."
Nico laughed at that. "Bunch of cowards, honestly."
"Honestly," I echoed, forcing a laugh.
Nico shook his head. "I don't know how you put up with that crowd, Wren. They're all ridiculous."
"They're not bad people, necessarily," I said, shrugging. "Just misguided."
"I guess." Nico rolled his eyes, but I thought it was more at the thought of my friends than at me. "Lestrange can't leave anything alone, can she? I suppose you've been keeping tabs on her and Potter's 'research,' haven't you?" He shook his head again. "What do they think they're going to be able to do?"
I glanced at him, acting surprised. Astra had been right, then. Nico's snake had overheard what they were talking about a few weeks ago. "Actually, I only really heard about all of that after Poppy Steven's family died."
Nico stopped walking and turned to stare at me. "Wait, what?"
I stopped walking as well, a little confused. "I mean, they were talking about it in September, I think, but I thought they let it go a long time ago," I said, shrugging. "They didn't really include me."
He seemed overly shocked, and I found myself feeling wary. "You mean you didn't know about any of it?" he asked. "You didn't ever report it to Stillens?"
I shook my head slowly. "It didn't seem like a big deal in September..." I pursed my lips. "They didn't tell me because they were sneaking into the library record room to do their research, and didn't want me to tell them off. It's not because they suspect me or anything."
"Well, of course not," Nico said dismissively. "Anyone could tell that from looking at them. But..." He closed his eyes and rubbed his temple like he had a headache. "I swear, I wasn't trying to throw you under the bus, all right?"
I blinked, not sure how to react. "Um... it's all right?"
"It's not!" Nico opened his eyes again. "One of my snakes overheard them talking about it, and I told Stillens. I assumed you'd already been reporting on it, or I would've let you, honestly."
Was Nico worried about me? I blinked again. "It's all right, Nico. I'm sure it won't be a big deal."
Nico didn't seem convinced, but he didn't press the issue, either. We walked through the quiet village in a matching silence. I wasn't exactly sure what Nico was worried about; did he think I would get in trouble? I supposed it was a possibility, but I hadn't even thought about that. I was sure it would be fine. Stillens might be annoyed, but I felt like the fact that I honestly hadn't known about this to tell him about it would work in my favor. I could at least claim I hadn't been prying into her affairs because I was trying to isolate, like Nico had asked me to do a while ago. It would probably be fine.
Zaria Hempsey didn't make an appearance when we walked into her apartment. We could hear some r-rated sounds coming from behind a closed door (it sounded like Magnus Caldwell) that managed to disgust us both and made us hurry through the kitchen and into the fireplace as fast as possible.
"They knew we were coming, didn't they?" Nico asked as I stumbled through the fireplace.
"I have no idea," I said, shrugging. "Probably."
"Disgusting..."
I rolled my eyes and started towards the door. "What do you expect from them?"
"I thought Hempsey at least had some pride," Nico started, but before he could finish his thought, we walked through the door and found someone on the other side.
A little girl was standing directly in front of the doorway. I recognized her instantly; I was pretty sure she was one of the no-maj's children, and I'd asked her if she knew where the manor was last time we'd reported. That alone made me a little uneasy. Had she told someone?
"What the hell?" Nico asked, obviously caught off guard.
The little girl seemed to have been waiting for us, though now she was glancing back and forth between us unsurely. Pushing down my uneasiness, I bent down so I was closer to her eye level and tried to smile kindly. "Hey, do you need something?"
She was eyeing Nico warily, but turned her gaze to me to ask, "Um... Do you know where we are?"
I stood up, taking an involuntary step back. Oh no. Why was she asking me that? Had she asked other people that? Had she told someone I had asked her that? "What?"
"Do you know where we are...?" she trailed off, seeming even more uncertain. "I mean... um..."
"What kind of question is that?" Nico asked, frowning. I took my cue from him, trying to look simply confused (though I left out the judgment). The little girl was staring back and forth between both of us, seeming like she wanted to shrink in on herself. Nico glanced at me as if I might explain, but I didn't really know what was going on, either. He shook his head. "Does she want like... an address?"
The child nodded quickly, eyes wide as if she were trying to appear serious and grown up. Nico opened his mouth, then frowned and closed it again. "Does this place even have an address?"
I frowned and tilted my head as if I'd never thought about that before. "I'm not sure."
Nico shook his head, apparently deciding that didn't matter. He looked back at the girl. "Who are you?" he demanded.
She opened her mouth, then hesitated for a moment before answering. "I'm Cassie."
That was incredibly enlightening. I pursed my lips for a moment, trying to remember who exactly lived here, and if anyone had children. As long as I'd lived here, there had never been any other children, but a lot had changed in three years. "Are you one of the no-maj's children?"
Cassie blinked at me. "No-maj?"
"She wouldn't know what a bloody no-maj is," Nico said, making a face. "No one except Americans call them that." He shook his head and turned back to the girl. "Are you a muggle?"
Her eyes widened with understanding. "Oh, they're the people I'm not supposed to talk to!" she exclaimed. Her expression grew wary, and she took a step back. "Are you muggles?"
Nico gave me a look that screamed I'm about to slap a child, and I sighed. "No, we're not muggles." I closed my eyes, trying to get my thoughts in order. Cassie hadn't really answered the who are you question. We needed to figure that out. "Seriously, who are you? Who are your parents? Why are you here?"
Cassie blinked, and her bottom lip became to quiver. "I... I don't know..."
I looked at Nico, a little alarmed. She was about to cry, and I didn't know how to deal with crying children. Nico seemed just as uneasy. He glanced up and down the passage, as if someone might come by and take her off our hands, then he sagged in relief. "Oh, it's your mum."
I spun around to see my mother hurrying down the hall, looking irritated. She ignored Nico and I completely, instead marching up to Cassie and frowning down at her. "You're supposed to be in bed. It's nearly eleven!"
"I needed a drink," Cassie said, looking down.
My mother sighed. "There's a cup in your bathroom, honey. You could have used that."
"Oh." Cassie frowned for a moment. "I forgot."
I had finally found my voice enough to cut in. "Who is she?"
My mother opened her mouth, but before she could say anything, Cassie exclaimed, "My name is Cassie!" Her tone suggested that was something people had been saying was false.
My mother closed her eyes and sighed. "Sure. Cassie. All right." She shook her head. When she opened her eyes again, though, a smile had appeared on her face. It only barely masked the irritation.
Nico seemed as confused as I felt. I shook my head as if that could clear my thoughts. "I'm sorry, is her name not Cassie?"
"It is," my mother snapped. She sighed sharply. "I suppose it's fine."
"The hell does that mean?" Nico muttered. My mother ignored him.
"Cassie is your cousin," she said, smiling at me. I blinked; my parents were both only children. Before I could point that out, she clarified. "Distantly related. I'm not sure exactly how it plays out..." She paused, as if to try to sort it out, then shook her head. "It doesn't matter. Anyway, her parents passed away a few months ago, and your father and I decided to take her in."
I looked down at the little girl, who had seemed to grow even more wary of me the moment Nico had mentioned that my mother was coming. She was nearly hiding behind my mother, now, watching Nico and I as if we were going to bite her. She was my cousin? She'd been here for a few months? "Why didn't you mention her before?" I asked, frowning. "Why haven't I seen her?"
My mother put her hand on Cassie's head, pulling her a little closer. In a low voice, she said, "Her mother was a squib. She grew up in the muggle world, so we tried to ease her into all this."
I glanced back at Nico, who was studying the far wall with an intensity that told me he wanted to be anywhere except this apparent family reunion. I turned back to my mother, not bothering to hide my confusion. "If her mother was a squib, is she one, too?"
"Oh, no." My mother patted Cassie's head. "She's definitely not. She's done a lot of accidental magic since she's been here, hasn't she?" She smiled down at her, and Cassie just looked down at the floor.
"I guess you wouldn't have taken her in if she was a squib," I said flatly.
I'd never seen my mother glare at me until then. "Is there a problem, Wren?"
The fact that she was clearly lying about all of this was a pretty big one. I didn't buy that story for a second, not least because there's no way my mother would've kept in touch with a squib cousin enough to know that she'd died, let alone that the cousin had had a child. I wasn't surprised that she wasn't telling me the truth, of course, but this was a little insulting. "Were you planning on telling me about this?"
"Eventually." She patted the top of Cassie's head, now. I don't think she noticed that Cassie made a face. "She's had some trouble adjusting. Can't blame her, of course. This is all very different. Honestly, though, it's much better for her to be here, being raised by her own kind, instead of with the muggles."
I had to bite my tongue to keep from yelling at her. I wasn't supposed to disagree with that. Instead, I shook my head. "So... let me get this straight. You somehow found out you have a squib cousin, so distantly related that you've never mentioned her before—"
"Oh, honey, that's not why we never mentioned her," my mother said, laughing. "Surely you could have figured that out."
"Right." I shook my head. "Anyway, you found out this cousin, who I assume you haven't had any contact with ever, died? And left behind her daughter? And then, out of the goodness of your hearts, you took her in?"
My mother's frown seemed both exasperated and testy. "I don't see what's so hard to believe about that, Wren."
"Stillens let you take her in because of altruism?"
"No," she snapped. "He decided to take her in because she's family, and she deserves to be brought up correctly."
I almost rolled my eyes and told her Stillens didn't care about family. I stopped myself, though, mainly because I didn't need to be picking fights with my mother. However, I suppose he did care about family, as a concept. Loyalty to family was something he valued. He just happened to think he was in charge of our entire family. So, if this child was actually related to me at all, that was a fair enough reason. Not a good one, but the Wren who was fully on board with Stillens' agenda would accept it.
My mother was still frowning at me. "Do you still have a problem?"
I shook my head. "I mean, I wish you would've told me..."
She relaxed, and smiled. "I'm sorry, honey. This was all very sudden, and Stillens didn't want to overwhelm her." She stepped back a little, so Cassie wasn't behind her anymore. "You've met her now, at least."
"Kind of." I knelt down so I was at eye level with her. Nico and I needed to go, and my mother was here. I didn't believe that Cassie was here for any good reason, though I couldn't imagine who she really was or why she was really here. I really just wanted to talk to her privately and ask her a million questions, let her know that I wasn't like the rest of the people here. If she wasn't here willingly, I could help. But that wasn't going to happen. All I could do was smile as kindly as I could and say, "It's nice to meet you, Cassie. My name is Wren. I really hope we can be friends."
Cassie gave me a very small smile. Her eyes darted to Nico, and the smile vanished. I stood up and gestured to him. "This is Nico Jasper. He'll be your friend, too."
Nico raised an eyebrow at me, but couldn't say anything before my mother had announced that it was far past Cassie's bedtime and swept her off toward the stairs. We stood in the hall for a moment after they'd disappeared. I was trying to process everything, at least enough to get my emotions in check.
"I guess it makes sense why she was asking where we were," Nico mused after a moment. I glanced at him, confused, and he elaborated, "I mean, sounds like she's had a rough couple months. This would be a bit of a hard adjustment, I guess. How long did your mum say she'd been here?"
I shrugged. "I don't know. She just said a few months, didn't she?"
"You haven't seen her around at all?"
I frowned. Was that supposed to sound pointed, or was I being paranoid? There was no way Nico had found out I'd asked around about where the manor was, right? I shrugged casually. "I guess I've noticed her in the hallways before, once or twice. I just thought she was one of the no-majs' kids." Nico raised an eyebrow at me, and I rolled my eyes and corrected, "Muggles."
"Yeah, that makes sense," he said. He frowned thoughtfully as we started walking toward the stairs. I was tempted to ask what he was thinking about, but then again, I wasn't sure I wanted to know.
I didn't have to ask. "Do you remember that time we came to report, and Cantha and some Ministry pricks were here? It must've been back in January."
He must've been talking about Pollux Russey and Kyler Dillam. That had been when they'd asked me to find out what I could about the Quibbler. I nodded, not quite following his train of thought.
"There was some girl being tortured when we got here," Nico said. "Do you remember? I could swear it was her."
I'd completely forgotten about that, but as soon as he'd said it, the image popped into my head. And the sound. We could hear her screaming from out in the hall. I had no idea what my uncle did to her, but I could imagine a hundred different things. And... now that he said it, I remembered her face. Cassie. I pursed my lips, trying not to react. "Oh, wow."
I shouldn't have bothered; Nico seemed completely lost in his thoughts. He hardly heard me. "How old did she look?"
"Seven or eight? I'm not really sure."
Nico scowled. "That's not right."
I froze. Had he really just said that? He'd said something wasn't right. Keep it together, I reminded myself. I needed to let him lead this, not push too far. "What's not?"
"I..." He shook his head. "What on earth could she have done to deserve that? She's hardly old enough to do anything."
I shrugged. "I'm sure Stillens had a reason."
"What possible reason could justify that?"
I glanced at him. This wasn't a trick, was it? Was he just trying to get me to sympathize with him, just so he could pull the rug out from under me and tell Stillens I had traitorous beliefs? But Nico wasn't watching me at all. He was still gazing thoughtfully into the distance as we walking, as if trying to puzzle it all out. As if he was really troubled by all of this. "I can't think of one," I said softly, as if speaking too loudly might snap him out of a trance.
Nico finally looked at me. "Listen, I'm not questioning Stillens," he snapped, scowling at me as if I'd accused him of it. "Don't go telling people I am."
"I know," I assured him, nodding quickly.
He didn't seem too sure about that, but we had reached Stillens' office. He went in, possibly just so I wouldn't have a chance to say anything else. With a sigh, I sat down on the bench across from the door. That had been something, at least. I wouldn't have picked Nico as the type to care about child abuse, but apparently that was at least a little bit of a trigger. I just hoped he would keep thinking about that, and not be able to reconcile it. Maybe Ciara and James and everyone else were actually wrong about him.
I had other things to think about, though. I needed a better plan for figuring out where the manor was. I was going to tell Nico to go on without me when we were done. The "I need to talk to my mom" excuse had seemed a little shaky when I'd considered it earlier, but after running into Cassie, I felt pretty confident that he wouldn't think twice about it if I left him and went off by myself.
I didn't have a lot to report. Mr. Potter had decided I could tell Stillens that Astra had heard from Teddy Lupin, since she had, and Astra Lestrange wouldn't have been able to keep something like that a secret from her friends, even if she'd been trying. I wasn't lying about any of it, actually. I was supposed to tell him that I thought Astra knew where Teddy was, but she wasn't able to say. Probably a fidelius charm, and I didn't know who the secret keeper was. Astra hadn't told any of us.
When Nico came out, he didn't meet my eyes. Had Stillens seen his concerns about Cassie? I didn't have time to ask him, or even think about it. It wasn't smart to keep Stillens waiting.
He seemed more cold than normal, I noted as I closed the door. He motioned to the chair across from his desk without a word. I slowly sat down, and waited a moment to see if he would say anything. He normally at least asked me what I had to report. Right now, he wasn't even looking at me, just frowning at the far wall.
"Um... Astra Lestrange heard from her cousin. Edward Lupin? The one who got into one of the detention centers?"
Stillens turned his cold gaze on me, but still didn't say anything. I hesitated for a moment, beginning to feel a little wary, then continued, "I think she knows where he is, and his family, but she didn't tell us."
"You didn't find out?" he asked, disdainfully.
"I think there's a fidelius charm," I said. "I'm not sure who the secret keeper is."
"Is it a charm over the people themselves, or the location?" Stillens snapped.
I had no idea. Was there a difference? "Um... the location, I believe."
"All right." Stillens nodded, and his gaze drifted back to the far wall. He seemed deep in thought, but it didn't seem like it was very pleasant thought. I found myself involuntarily fidgeting with my sleeve. Something wasn't right. I didn't have anything more to say, though. All there was to do was wait.
The was a clock ticking away somewhere behind me, though I didn't dare turn around to see it. It was the only sound in the room, though, besides the crackling of the fire behind my uncle. I picked a spot on his desk to stare at, a place where the veneer had chipped off a bit. He was trying to make me uncomfortable, obviously. I couldn't afford to think about what I might have done, but my mind kept jumping to possibilities anyway. I kept having to push everything back behind the curtain in my mind over and over again.
After what felt like far too long, but was probably only two or three minutes, Stillens finally looked back at me. "Why have you not been reporting on Astra Lestrange's research on no-maj disappearances?"
A chill went down my spine, and it took all my willpower to keep a neutral expression. "I didn't know about it, sir."
"You didn't know about it?" Stillens raised an eyebrow. "Why not? Were they intentionally hiding it from you?"
I pursed my lips. "Not exactly, no. I don't think they suspect me of anything, if that's what you mean."
"I don't mean anything in particular," Stillens snapped. "Why would they not tell you?"
"I think they might have been breaking school rules to get their information," I explained. That wasn't really true, as far as I knew, but sounded reasonable to me. "They didn't want to tell me because I'm a prefect, I think."
"Is Albus Potter not also a prefect?"
"He doesn't care as much about the rules."
Stillens regarded me coldly for a few moments. It was all I could do not to squirm under his gaze. "I would just like to know how three of the people you are supposed to be keeping the closest eye on were able to spend this much time systematically researching something like this without you even noticing."
He paused, but I didn't really know what answer to give. "I... I mean, they were talking a little bit about it at the beginning of the school year, but they seemed to lose interest."
"You never bothered to wonder what they might be doing if they were spending so much time in the library?"
"I..." I shook my head. "Nico told me to make her feel isolated."
"I know what he told you," Stillens snapped. "Don't bring him up. That blasted excuse for a boy seems to have some loyalty problems of his own, coming in here and telling me what to do about my own niece, saying he wouldn't have told me about this if he'd known you hadn't! Pathetic."
Nico said that? I blinked. "He—"
"Silence!" I closed my mouth immediately. Stillens' voice had dropped to the low, calm, angry tone that I'd learned to fear. It was all I could do to keep myself from trembling. "You shouldn't have tried to isolate Lestrange at the cost of knowing what she was doing. If I didn't know better, Wren, this would seem very suspicious."
I was actually shaking now, but it didn't seem worth it to try and hide it. It would be more suspicious to not be afraid, I thought. "I'm sorry."
"Do I look like I'm in nursery school?" Stillens asked disdainfully. "Don't tell me you're sorry. Mistakes have consequences."
The world seemed to slow down as I watched him reach for his wand. My heart was beating too quickly, or maybe not at all. I had a feeling that I knew what was about to happen, and I couldn't do anything about it. I could only close my eyes and brace myself as I heard him say, "Crucio."
I don't think it mattered how many times this had happened before. It was impossible to get used to the pain. It flooded all of my senses. I couldn't think, couldn't see, wasn't aware of anything except the pain.
It might have been thirty seconds in total when it stopped, but it also might have been hours. I had no idea. But I was lying on the floor, tears covering my face. Stillens was standing over me, looking down in disgust as if I was something distasteful he ran into on the street. "Do better," was all he said, then he walked back to his desk and sat down. I was left to push myself to my feet and slip out the door, even though my hand was shaking so much I could hardly turn the knob.
Nico was standing in front of the bench, as if he was waiting for me. I mean, he probably heard me screaming, so that made sense. I opened my mouth to say something, though I wasn't sure what, but all I could manage was a shaky breath.
"I'm so sorry," Nico said softly. He took a few steps closer to me. "I tried to explain to him—"
"It's fine," I said, my voice very faint. "It's not your fault." I shook my head. I just wanted to sit down.
I must have wavered a bit, because Nico sprang forward to grab my arm and steady me. I flinched instinctively. "Sorry," he said, even as he led me over to the bench.
"Thanks," I said, sitting down. I took a deep breath. It was over. The pain was lessening already. I wiped the tears from my face with my sleeve, taking deep breaths, trying to calm myself down. The truth was, I was tottering on the edge, mentally. It was all I could do to shove down memories of all the other times. There wasn't time to process this right now. You're fine, you're safe, I repeated in my head, over and over. He doesn't suspect anything.
Nico was watching me with an expression that almost bordered on concern. After a few minutes, when my breathing had finally steadied, he said, "I am really sorry, Wren. I think this is my fault."
"It's Stillens' fault," I said without thinking. I regretted it immediately, of course; the most important thing was to never question Stillens.
Nico either didn't notice or didn't care, though. "I tried to convince him not to."
"And now he's just angry with you, too," I said, frowning.
Nico shrugged, leaning back against the wall in a worryingly casual way. "It'll be fine." He glanced back at me. "Are you all right, though? Do you need a bit longer?"
It hit me that I'd been planning on going off on my own after this, to see if I could find one of the no-majs and ask about where the manor was, or maybe even if there had been plans when they had "renovated." This was an even better excuse than what I'd come up with before. Maybe I was a little shaky, but I could do this, at least.
I looked down, as if I wasn't quite sure what I needed. "Um... I really just want to see my mother."
I saw confusion on his face for half an instant, but before I could really register it, it was gone. He just nodded. "Right, of course." He hopped to his feet, then offered me a hand up. "Do you want help finding her?"
"Oh, um, no thanks," I said. I gave him a small smile. "Thank you, though."
"Sure." Nico hesitated for a moment, as if not sure what he should be doing, then waved a little headed off toward the sitting room. I watched him go, then turned in the opposite direction. It was the direction my mother would be in, but also where the back stairs to the kitchen were. If any of the no-majs were still up, I had a feeling that was where they would be.
I didn't meet anyone in the halls, which made sense. It was probably past midnight by now. I slipped down the back stairs, which let out into a small room adjacent to the kitchen. There, I could see a flickering light from a fire, and heard low voices talking. Praying that was no-majs, I stepped into the kitchen.
Three people were gathered on chairs around the fire, two men and a woman. They jumped to their feet as soon as they noticed me and gave stiff bows. I blinked a them for a moment, surprised. One of the men, the older one, said, "Can we do anything for you?"
"Oh, um, yes." I took a breath. This needed to come across completely confident, or else there was a good chance it wouldn't work. "I need the plans for this building. Do you have a copy around here somewhere?"
The older man seemed surprised. He squinted a little, and shuffled a little closer to me. "I imagine I do, yes, but the master said no one's supposed to see those."
Oh, heck. I could talk around that, right? I stood up straighter and put on an expression I imagined was close to my mother's, when she was yelling at subordinates. "I'm aware of that. Do you know who I am?"
The three no-majs exchanged a glance, clearly showing that they didn't, and I narrowed my eyes. "I am Wren Predatel," I snapped. "Do you think my uncle wouldn't allow me to see the plans?"
"Oh, lands," the old man said, very concerned. "I'm sure he would, miss, but I'm not supposed to give them without express permission—"
"I'll give you express permission!" I pulled my wand out threateningly, though I had no intention of using it. "You give me the plans, or my uncle will hear about it!"
The three glanced at each other again, much more alarmed now. The other man and the woman had cringed away as soon as I'd pulled my wand out, and even the older man was watching it closely, scared. "Of course," he said. He shuffled over to a cupboard by the fireplace, unlocked it with a key he pulled from his pocket, and pulled a roll of parchments out. "They're here, miss." He handed them to me, and I took them with as much disdain as I could muster. That sounded right. I was about to simply walk out the door, but then it occurred to me that if any of the no-majs happened to mention this to Stillens, I was screwed.
Well, what could I do about that? With a sinking heart, I realized that my only real way to ensure they wouldn't do that would be to make it so they couldn't remember anything at all.
That seemed really immoral. I didn't have time to think about the moral implications, though. They were all starting to get confused expressions on their faces, the longer I stood here, hesitating.
I bit my lip and raised my wand. All three pulled back, alarmed again. "I'm sorry," I said. "I swear, this won't hurt..."
It didn't take long. It was probably a little sloppy; it had been years since I'd had to obliviate anyone. But I didn't have a choice, I told myself. There wasn't much else I could do. Before the first one had even started to look around, blinking in confusion, I was hurrying out of the room.
As soon as the door had swung closed, I sagged against the wall, sighing in relief and clutching the parchment tightly to my chest. I couldn't believe that had actually worked. Just to be sure, I unrolled the parchment a little. Lo and behold, building plans. I rolled them up as tightly as possible and put them in the wand pocket of my cloak, then headed towards the sitting room.
Obliviating innocent people wasn't good, obviously. But surely the reason for doing it outweighed the bad, right? I pursed my lips and reminded myself that if the DA was actually able to do anything with these, they would be helping free those no-majs, too. It was for their own good, in the end.
I was so lost in my thoughts when I walked into the sitting room that I didn't notice Nico lounging on the sofa. He jumped up when I walked into the room, though, startling me enough to make me jump. He grinned. "Feeling better?"
I could feel my face growing hot. He had obviously just waited to make sure I was all right, not because he suspected me of anything in particular, but I hadn't been expecting it, all the same. Even though he had no idea that I'd obliviated anyone (and wouldn't have cared, anyway), I couldn't help feeling worse.
I managed a smile, trying to play it off as surprise. "Yeah. Thank you. You didn't need to wait..."
Nico's expression grew serious. "You probably shouldn't be walking back to the castle alone."
"You think I can't handle myself?" I asked.
"What? No." Nico rolled his eyes. "You just had the cruciatus curse used on you. You probably shouldn't be walking around the manor alone, let alone the road from Hogsmeade."
There wasn't much choice, of course. Thankfully, Nico didn't say much as we walked back, which left me to sort through my thoughts. There were a lot of them, most of which I didn't really want to face. I'd obliviated three people. I had a lot of looming bad memories on the edge of my mind, threatening to take over the second I let my guard down. I had a feeling I was going to have nightmares tonight.
When we reached the castle, Nico put a hand on my arm before I could walk up the stairs. "Are you sure you're okay? Cantha's a bitch, but she would give you something to help you feel better, if you needed it, and she wouldn't say anything."
That was the last thing I wanted, honestly. I was exhausted, I hadn't ever completely stopped shaking, but I just wanted to go to bed. I definitely didn't want to talk to Madam Cantha. I smiled faintly but shook my head. "I'm all right, Nico. Really. Thanks." Nico seemed unconvinced, but didn't push the matter. We parted ways, and I headed up towards Mr. Potter's office.
Mr. Potter was pacing the room when I walked in. "Merlin, Wren," was all he could say at first. He seemed horrified, which... I supposed that was fair. I sank into a chair as he continued pacing, too tired to even say anything.
After a few moments of pacing, Mr. Potter shook his head. "You didn't need to try to find out where the manor was tonight, Wren. You should've just come straight back."
"I'm sorry," I said automatically. I pulled the plans out of my pocket and put them on his desk.
"Don't be sorry." Mr. Potter stopped pacing, finally, to stare intently at the window. Finally, he glanced at me. "I don't want you going back."
I stiffened, sitting up a little straighter. "What?"
"I don't want you going back," he repeated, shaking his head. "It's too dangerous. I don't want to risk it."
I blinked. "Mr. Potter, Stillens doesn't suspect me. It's all right."
"I don't care if he suspects you or not!" Mr. Potter finally sat down. "Wren, he used an unforgivable curse on you tonight. I can't let you go back after that!"
Not going back meant going into hiding. We both knew that. I couldn't go into hiding. I didn't want to do that. It was cowardly, for one thing, but also... I wanted to help the DA. I wanted to be with my friends. I wanted to be here, at school. Most of all, I didn't want to go into hiding.
I was blinking away tears, though I wasn't sure if it was from the idea of not going back or simple exhaustion. I shook my head, trying to keep my voice steady. "No, please don't."
"I'm your guardian, Wren," Mr. Potter said. "I'm supposed to keep you safe, and putting you in a situation like that, where you could have an unforgivable curse used on you? That's not keeping you safe."
"I don't want to go into hiding, Mr. Potter," I said. My voice sounded a little panicked, but I was a little panicked at the idea. "Please don't make me go into hiding."
"I can't let you go back," Mr. Potter said again. "What kind of choice is there?"
"He doesn't suspect me," I repeated. "As long as I don't make him angry—"
"Stillens is a very unstable man, Wren. We can't guarantee that you won't make him angry again by something as small as this."
"It's really not a big deal," I said, shaking my head. "I'm all right, aren't I?"
"Are you?" Mr. Potter repeated. He tilted his head, the concern on his face so overwhelming that it melted my frustration and just made me want to cry more than I already had. Maybe I wasn't all right.
After a moment, he shook his head. "Wren, this isn't what I want either, all right? I want you to be able to go to school, and be with your friends, and feel like you're making a difference. You've made such a difference already, by the way, so don't feel like you haven't done enough. But your safety is more important that those things."
I didn't know about that, but arguing about it wouldn't get anywhere. I just felt like Mr. Potter was making too quick of a decision. Stillens would have moved on by the next time I reported, and since ehe didn't suspect anything, everything would be normal again. I wiped at my eyes, trying to keep myself from crying. "Can we at least wait to make a decision?" I asked. "At least until the end of school? That's only three weeks from now. What could happen in three weeks?"
Mr. Potter studied me for several long moments. I couldn't tell what he was thinking. Hopefully, about how logical and good that suggestion was. After all, if I was called to report between now and the end of the school year, it would probably be very close to the end, anyway. Mr. Potter had the building plans, too, so on the very small chance that things did go wrong, he would know exactly where I was, down to the room. I really didn't expect them to go wrong, though. It wasn't like Stillens to hold a grudge, really. Once he'd punished someone for something, and was convinced they would stop doing whatever they'd done wrong, he normally moved on like nothing had happened. Why else would he have let me start spying for him after I'd run away?
"I'll decide before you're called back, at least," Mr. Potter said finally. He picked up the plans off his desk, but he was still looking at me. "You know that I'm just trying to keep your safe, right?" I looked down at my lap and nodded. He paused for a moment, then said, "I don't want you to be in a place where you think the cruciatus curse is normal, and you're all right as long as it's stopped hurting."
I glanced up, frowning. "What do you mean?"
"People have used that on me before, Wren. It messes with your head." He drummed his fingers on the desk for a moment, lost in his thoughts. "I still have nightmares about Voldemort, you know. It's been twenty-five years." He glanced at me. "I know you've already experienced a lot of things that have hurt you, and I can't do much about that. But there are a lot of things I can still protect you from. Please, just work with me on that. I know it's not what you want, and the thought of going into hiding is frustrating and scary, and I don't have any idea how long it would last. But I'd rather you be sitting in a safe house somewhere, hating me for making you be there, than give Stillens one more chance to hurt you."
I was about to cry again, though I didn't know why. A million different things. The fact that the Potters cared this much about me. The fact that I didn't want to go into hiding. The fact that I was exhausted, and had too many thoughts swirling around my head. I took a deep breath, then nodded weakly. "I understand."
"I"m glad." He stood up, walked around the desk, and offered me a hand to stand up. "You need some sleep, Wren." I nodded again, and managed a faint smile. Mr. Potter smiled sadly in return. "I'm proud of you, Wren," he said. "Whatever happens, you've done so well, and been so strong, and put up with so much more than you should have. I'm very proud of you."
That made me start crying, because I was already so close to it. Mr. Potter put his arms around me, and let me cry into his shoulder. For several long minutes, he just held me as I sobbed. I couldn't help thinking that this was what I'd always wanted from my own father.
Eventually, I managed to calm down. Mr. Potter offered to walk me back to the common room, but I told him I thought I could make it on my own. Crying had released just a little bit of the tension, and now I was just very tired.
As soon as I'd walked through the portrait hole, I was accosted by Astra and Albus, which was a little odd. There weren't a lot of people in the common room, since it was nearly one in the morning. I tilted my head. "Oh. Hello."
"Did you find where the manor is?" Albus asked.
Did I... I frowned. "Yeah, actually. I found some building plans. Your dad has them." I tilted my head. "Why?"
Astra's expression and grown a lot more concerned as I spoke. "Are you all right?" she asked, instead of answering.
I almost said yes, but then I shook my head. "I... no. Not really."
"What happened?" Albus asked.
"Um..." I closed my eyes. Words were having trouble putting themselves in order. "Stillens used the cruciatus curse on me."
"What?" I opened my eyes to see horrified expressions on them both. Albus put his hand on my arm. "Are you all right?"
Astra shoved him. "What kind of question is that? Of course she's not all right."
"Sorry," Albus said, wincing. "She's right. I didn't mean it like that. How are you doing?"
I was overwhelmed, honestly. I appreciated their concern, but there was too much going on and I'd reached the point where I just wanted to go to bed, or cry, or sit with James for the next three hours and do both. I managed a small smile and a shrug. "I think I'm well enough. Kind of tired, honestly."
"Right, of course," Astra said, nodding seriously. "We could go up to the dorm?"
I glanced around the room. "I'd really just like to see James..."
They exchanged a glance, and Albus smiled at me. "Of course you would. He's over there, studying for his astronomy exam, I think."
My gaze followed where Albus was pointing to see James sitting in a secluded window seat. I smiled faintly. "Thanks." Astra and Albus both nodded and smiled and started whispering furiously as soon as I'd walked away. I didn't have the energy to care.
James glanced up as I walked over, and grinned at me. His smile faltered when he got a good look at my face, though. "Is everything okay?"
I shook my head and sat down next to him. "Not really, no."
"What happened?"
I told him everything. Running into that little girl, Cassie. Weird conversations with Nico. The cruciatus curse. The no-majs. The threat of going into hiding. I didn't cry (much), which was nice, because talking helped me sort it all out in my mind, while crying did not. James did a very good job of not jumping up to go kill Stillens. He told me he wanted to, but knew it was a ridiculous idea, so he'd just have to wait until the right time.
When I'd finally talked myself out, James was quiet for a few moments. I was fine with that; I wasn't expecting much of a response, and I was content to just lean against him with his arm around me for the rest of my life, honestly.
Eventually, though, James said, "I think my dad might be right."
I sat up, turning to stare at him. "What?"
James blinked at me for a moment, then put up his hands. "Wren, hear me out."
"I don't want to go into hiding, James," I said tensely.
"I know you don't. I don't really want you to either," he said.
I shook my head, feeling the frustration coming back. "I'm not in any real danger, okay? Not any more than normal. There's no reason to go into hiding right now, if he doesn't suspect me."
James pursed his lips. "I get that. But we don't really know what he suspects, do we?"
There were tears welling up in my eyes again. Was he really taking his dad's side in this, over me? That wasn't fair. None of this was fair. He didn't understand. I shook my head again. "He doesn't suspect me. I'm fine."
He nodded. "I know. I'm sorry. I'm not trying to make you upset." He swallowed and looked away, and I realized that there was something close to fear in his expression. He was scared. For me. I took a deep breath, feeling the frustration melting away again at that realization. James seemed to notice the change, and continued. "I just... I know Dad wants to keep you safe, and I do, too. And I... I think you might be a little more reckless with your own safety than you should be."
I frowned. "I'm not reckless."
"Not in general, no." James smiled a little. "But what you just went through tonight would have most people begging not to go back, because it's horrific and terrifying and..." He shook his head. "You just say it could be worse. But I feel like if an unforgivable curse isn't enough to say something's too dangerous, I'm not sure what would be."
I looked down. I didn't want to agree, but James was hard to argue with in general, and there was a large part of me that was saying he was right. I sighed, then nodded. "You're right. But... I still don't want to go into hiding."
"I know." James put his arm around me, and I sank back down against his side. "Dad's only going to do that when there's no other option, you know. Just... please trust him when he does."
I nodded. I didn't want to, and I would probably argue more if that's what Mr. Potter decided, but at the end of the day, I wasn't going to refuse. There was a larger picture of the DA that I couldn't see.
"Hey, if you go into hiding, I'll come with you," James said.
I turned my head enough to be able to see his face. He seemed serious. I smiled a little. "You would do that?"
"Of course. I mean, I don't have any other plans for my life yet, do I?" He chuckled. "Besides... I... I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Wren."
I sat up again from surprise and blinked at him for a moment. "Really?"
He seemed startled by my movement, and his cheeks were tinged with red. I got the feeling he hadn't meant to say that. However, he nodded. "Yeah. I mean, I know we're young, and I don't know what the future's going to look like or anything. And obviously we don't have to talk about this right now. But... I love you, Wren."
I smiled. Suddenly, being in hiding didn't sound nearly as bad. "I love you too, Jamie."
The way his face lit up made everything else seem so much less important.
~~~~
Sorry for such a long chapter, but I didn't see any natural places to break it into two. Hope you enjoyed it anyway!
Question of the Day: If you had to come up with a fourth Unforgivable Curse, what would it be?
Answer: I don't know... Honestly, I feel like Obliviate should be an unforgivable curse, too. But if I was creating a spell... maybe one that took away a person's ability to do magic?
Vote and comment! Keep washing your hands and staying home!
~Elli
Word Count: 9396