John Marston X Female Reader
Summary: John is a single father after the gang falls apart. The reader, who was also in the gang, comes across John and helps him.
For the sake of this oneshot, Abigail died during childbirth. I love her and I'm sorry!
Word Count: 4600
John never felt like a single father, he had the whole gang to help him. Jack had so many aunts and uncles that John never felt alone, he had friends who wanted to help him and they did a great job. Maybe even a better job than he did.
But now...now, he was alone. Now, it was just him and Jack living on a ranch. John had to raise his four year old son while making enough money to make sure they could both keep living here. He had a whole new respect for single parents, or just parents in general.
John didn't have the same help that he once had in the Van der Linde gang but he was truly trying to do his best, for Jack's sake. He would make honest money, like an honest life, for his son.
-----
It was some time around midday when John was sitting in the living room, just watching jack playing with some of his toys, something that he found oddly therapeutic these days. It was a quiet day and the two of them had spent the morning out with the horses, having come inside for something to eat and drink.
The two of them were interrupted from their silence when there was a knock on the door. John's brow furrowed in confusion, it wasn't like they had a lot of visitors. He told Jack to wait there and the boy nodded before his father walked out of the room.
John pulled open the front door and completely froze at the face he was greeted with. "Y/n?" he asked, wondering if his mind was playing tricks on him. He was so in shock that he only just realised that you were bleeding, a wound on your stomach that was bleeding through your shirt.
"John...I-I'm sorry to just sh-show up but-" you were already apologising but John wouldn't give you the chance to feel guilty.
"It's fine, c'mere" John assured you as he wrapped an arm around your waist, helping you into his house. "Jack! Stay in the living room, I'll be there in a minute!" he called to his son, not wanting him to see you bleeding.
John guided you through the house and up some stairs, then into a room that turned out to be the master bedroom. He gently lay you down on the bed, making sure you were comfortable.
"Is it bad?" John asked as he helped you out of your coat, dropping it to the floor carelessly.
"Don't think so...probably needs stitches but I'll live" you told him as you lay back down.
"Alright, I can do that" John nodded, looking over you quickly.
In that moment it felt like it hadn't been a year since he last saw you, a year since the gang fell apart. The two of you were instantly thrown into old habits, back when you had to patch each other up. Yes, John could help you because he had done it so many times in the past, and you had done the same for him.
The two of you worked in silence, beside a few pained grunts or hisses from you, trying to get everything out of the way. Eventually, you were laying on John's bed with a pile of your belongings on the floor. Everything you had been carrying, your shoes and your coat abandoned to the floor. While, you lay on your back with your shirt pulled up to your ribs so that John could get to the wound.
He had darted out of the room to grab some supplies, quickly returning with what he needed.
"I'm sorry...I know that I shouldn't have come here, I didn't want too. Not after you managed to get away with Jack but I wasn't sure where else to go" you apologised properly as John cleaned the blood away from your skin using a damp cloth.
"It's fine, I'm glad you came here. You needed help" John assured you and he meant every word. He was glad that he could help but he was also glad that, even after all this time, when you needed help you thought of him. "What happened anyway?" he asked as he dropped the cloth into a bowl of water.
"A bounty gone wrong, nothing too bad" you told him, hissing when he applied alcohol to the wound without warning.
"Sorry" John apologised, you just gave him a nod that told him it was alright. "You're a bounty hunter?" he asked, glancing at your face before focusing his attention on the task at hand again.
"Yeah...I didn't exactly have any expertise and it pays well, so...I just started doing it" you nodded. "There are worse things I could be doing" you winced, fingers curling into the bed sheets as John began to stitch the wound.
"I suppose" John nodded.
The rest of the job was carried out in silence, except for John apologising whenever you winced or groaned in pain and you telling him that you were fine.
"There, done. You'll be fine" John told you as he packed all of the supplies away.
"Thank you, John. I really appreciate this. I'll get out of your hair" you pulled your shirt back down over your bandaged stomach before trying to stand up.
"No" the firmness in John's voice surprised you as he placed his hand on your shoulder, easing you back down onto the bed. "You need to rest and heal. Stay here, where it's safe, until then" he told you and it sounded like there was no way to argue with him.
"...thank you, John" you smiled up at him, beyond grateful for his kindness.
"Hold on" John stood from the bed and walked over to his dresser, pulling out a simple button up shirt. "Here, at least it's not covered in blood" he offered, holding the article of clothing out to you until you took it from him. "I'll be back in a minute, I'm just going to check on Jack" he told you, giving you the opportunity to change your shirt in private.
You nodded, giving him another smile and a soft 'thank you', before he left. You changed your shirt, leaving your dirty one on the floor with the rest of your belongings.
John headed to the kitchen, putting the supplies away and washing his hands, making sure there was no blood on him, before waking into the living room.
"Who was it, Pa?" Jack climbed to his feet as his father walked into the room, wondering what was going on.
"It was Y/n" John told him, unable to say anymore before his son spoke up.
"Y/n's here?" Jack asked, a bright smile appearing on his face. "Can I go see her?" he asked, already heading for the door.
"Later. She got hurt so she's resting" John told him, placing a hand on his shoulder.
"Is she alright?" Jack asked, looking up at his father with a concerned expression.
"She's just fine, don't you worry" John promised his son.
After speaking with Jack, John went back to the bedroom to check on you. But he just found you already asleep on his bed, wearing his shirt. He smiled softly to himself before pulling the sheet over your body and leaving you to rest, you probably needed it.
You woke up some time later, you didn't know how long you had been sleeping but it was now dark outside. You groaned to yourself as you stood from the bed. You wandered through the house quietly and into the living room, where you found John sleeping on the couch.
Smiling to yourself, you walked over to him and gently shook his shoulder to wake him up.
"Wha-what? Is everything alright?" John asked, a little disorientated from having just woken up. You chuckled fondly at him as he squinted up at you.
"Everything is fine. Go to bed" you assured him, nodding towards the door.
"Oh...no, no. You take the bed, it's fine. You need it more" John shook his head, batting your hand away from his shoulder.
"Don't be stupid. It's your house, your bed. Go sleep in it" you rolled your eyes at him.
"But-" John began to protest.
"Go get your ass in that bed, John Marston. I'll be fine here" you ordered, pointing towards the door. Not giving in.
"Fine" John huffed tiredly as he stood up, running his fingers through his hair to push it out of his face.
"Goodnight" you smiled at him as you climbed onto the couch.
"G'night, Y/n" John nodded before leaving the room, leaving you to sleep.
-----
The next morning came quick and John went through his normal morning routine, getting dressed before walking downstairs. He walked into the living room and paused at the sight in front of him.
You were sitting on the couch with Jack, who was still in his pyjamas. The two of you were sitting cross-legged and facing each other as you spoke.
"Ah, enough about me. It's not very interesting" you shook your head, not wanting to tell the young boy stories of violence when that's what John got him away from. "What about you? How do you like the ranch?" you asked.
"It's nice, I like it. I think Pa likes it too...he gets tired sometimes though" Jack told you, trust a child to be honest. John just shifted awkwardly.
"Well, that's normal. He's just working hard because he loves you and wants to give you a good life. Don't worry about it, alright?" you assured him.
"Alright" Jack nodded, smiling up at you.
"'morning" John greeted the two of you, finally making his presence known.
"Morning, John. Does your son usually wake up before you?" you asked teasingly as you watched him walk over to you both.
"Yeah, normally" John confessed with a small nod. "How are you feeling?" he asked you.
"Good, thanks. I'll be up and running about again before you know it" you assured him.
"Does that mean you'll be leaving soon?" Jack asked sadly.
"Uh..." you didn't know what to say, he looked so sad and you didn't have it in you to make him even more upset.
"You're welcome to stay as long as you like. We're family" John assured you.
"Well...I guess I can stay a little longer" you nodded, giving them both a small smile.
"Yes!" Jack's smile instantly returned as he jumped up and hugged you, making you wince. "Sorry" he apologised as he quickly pulled away from you.
"It's alright" you assured him as you ruffled his hair, making him laugh. And making John smile.
It's like some sort of fantasy he never thought he would see. He had been in love with you for so long, for years even, and somehow the universe had brought you both together again. He knew that one day you would have to leave again, that this wasn't your home but he wished that it could be. All he knew was that when the time comes that you have to say goodbye and you walk out that door, his heart is going to break all over again.
"You hungry?" John asked, realising that you hadn't ate since you arrived here.
"I could eat" you nodded, suddenly realising how hungry you actually were.
"I'll go make us all some breakfast" John offered, turning to leave.
"Let me help" you began to stand up but didn't get very far.
"No, no, you just sit down" John chastised, placing his hand on your shoulder to make you sit back down again.
"Yeah. You're hurt so we'll look after you!" Jack exclaimed as he hopped off of the couch.
"Alright" you chuckled, shaking your head at them both as they left for the kitchen.
You were still sitting on the couch, because John won't let you move a muscle, when they carried plates of food into the room.
Jack sat on the floor in front of you with his plate of food while John handed you yours.
"Such gentlemen" you teased as you accepted the plate and John sat down beside you with his own. "Thank you" you smiled at them both.
"You're welcome" Jack beamed up at you before beginning to eat his breakfast.
"I could get used to this" you joked as you started to eat yours as well, but a part of John hoped that you meant every word.
The three of you sat and ate together, catching up and filling each other in on what life had been like for the last year. The three of you talked like it hadn't been a year since you last saw each other at all, it just felt natural.
-----
That night Jack read one of his story books for you, apparently that's what John did for him when he wasn't feeling well. This boy was adorable.
As he read to you, you looked across the room and saw John leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed over his chest, smiling at you both. You smiled back at him before returning your attention back to Jack.
You had to leave, you had to leave because it was the last thing you wanted to do. You knew that the longer you stayed, the harder it would be to leave in the end. You loved John, you had for so long, and you loved Jack. Leaving them the first time broke your heart, you feared that leaving them again would just break you completely. This was what you wanted, staying here with them, but you never allowed yourself to dream of such things. No point living in impossible fantasies.
-----
It had been a week since you showed up on John's doorstep and you were feeling much better already. You had managed to convince John that you could move around without dropping down dead, so you were using your newfound freedom to wash the dishes. You just wanted to help out around the house.
"What are you doing? Don't worry about that, let me-" John started to fret as he walked into the kitchen and saw you doing chores.
"God, you like to argue" you rolled your eyes, not stopping, just looking back at him over your shoulder. "I'm fine, I can do some dishes. Anyway, it takes one job off of your hands. Just sit down and shut up" you shrugged, earning a huff from John. "If you want, I could fix that fence round back for ya?" you offered.
"Don't be ridiculous, I can do that" John shook his head, instantly shooting down the idea.
"Of course you can but I might as well help out since you've been kind enough to let me stay here and nurse me back to health" you reminded him.
"You don't need to repay me for that" John assured you.
"I know but I want too. You're my friend, John. I know you're perfectly capable of doing all of this on your own but, while I'm here, just let me help" you sighed, drying your hands and turning to him with a kind smile.
"...fine" John gave in with a sigh of his own. "I might have to keep you around if you're going to insist on helping out" he joked.
"Careful John, I might just take you up on that offer" you teased, the two of you smiling at each other but something in his eyes seemed to steal your breath away.
You would swear that you could feel the tension in the room increase but the two of you were interrupted by Jack walking into the room, and you found yourself thankful for that.
-----
It had been another week of you living with the Marstons and the three of you had easily fallen into some sort of routine, like it had always been this way.
The three of you would wake up, eat breakfast together, go tend to the horses, tend to any chores that needed doing, eat dinner together, spend the evening together, then Jack would go to bed and let you and John talk for a while. One of you would help Jack with his reading or play with him. Sometimes John would have to go into town and you would stay with Jack. The three of you would go for a horse ride when the weather was particularly nice. The three of you were content, you were happy.
The more time you spent with the two Marstons, the less you felt like you could leave them. Neither you or John had mentioned leaving, neither of you wanted to even think about it. So you didn't, you just kept going, taking it day by day, cherishing whatever time you got with each other.
You were walking into the house, opening the door only to have something crash into your stomach. You grunted and held your hand over your healing wound, looking down to see Jack looking up at you with wide eyes.
"Sorry!" Jack apologised with worried eyes, hoping that he hadn't hurt you.
"It's alright, just be careful" you assured him, ruffling his hair fondly. Jack smiled and nodded before running outside.
You chuckled to yourself and walked further into the house, seeing that John had been following behind Jack.
"Are you alright?" John asked, worry clear on his face.
"Yeah but that kid is going to kill me" you joked, assuring him that you were fine.
"It's healing okay?" John asked.
"Until Jack hits it at full speed? Sure" you joked again.
"Do you mind?" John asked, gesturing to where the wound was.
"Not really" you shrugged before lifting up your shirt just enough for him to see the healing wound.
"It's healing but it's going to scar" John warned you, frowning slightly.
"Oh well, what's one more?" you shrugged, not really bothered about it, you had expected it.
"At least it won't be on your face" John joked as you lowered your shirt again.
"Oh will you stop. All that self depreciation isn't a good look on you. How many times have I told you that those scars aren't as bad as you think they are?" you asked, sounding like a disappointed parent.
"Uh, I've lost count" John confessed, chuckling slightly.
After John got the scars on his face, he became pretty insecure about them bu you were always there to reassure him and encourage him.
"They suit you. I couldn't imagine you without them now. They make you look all rugged and manly" you assured him. You were being honest, you liked the scars. Of course you would prefer if he didn't get mauled by wolves but he wears them well.
"Okay, I get it" John nodded, blushing slightly.
"What? Am I embarrassing you?" you asked, clearly amused. "Well, in that case...I think that make you look very handsome. I bet you get a lot of attention from all the women in town, I bet they all just fawn over the retired outlaw" you teased him.
"God, Y/n" John groaned in embarrassment, his face turning redder.
"I'm not wrong. You just have to accept it" you grinned, making him smile as well. "...I missed this" you admitted.
"Yeah...so have I" John sighed, nodding in agreement. "Why didn't you come with us after everything ended?" he asked, looking at you and something in his eyes just made you melt. How could you lie to him?
"I...I couldn't. I didn't want to be a burden. You were going to start an honest life and raise your son, I didn't feel like I belonged in that" you told him.
"Y/n, we've always been close right?" John asked and you nodded. "There would always be a place for you here" he promised you as he places his hands on your shoulders.
"Thanks" you smiled slightly up at him.
"You can stay here as long as you like, y'know?...you don't have to leave" John told you, running his hands down your arms.
"John..." you sighed, hanging your head.
"All I'm saying is that you're welcome here. Jack loves you, he would love it if you stayed and I lo...I'd like it if you stayed" John told you, his words making you look up at meet his gaze again.
"I want to stay...I do, but..." your words drifted off, unable to tell him why you had to leave.
"But what?" John prompted.
"But...this is your life, not mine" you sighed.
"It could be your life too" John suggested and you had no idea how to take his words. You wanted that more than anything but surely he didn't want the same thing as you.
"...I...I'll think about it" you promised him.
John just nodded as you walked past him, disappearing into another room. He sighed and dragged a hand down his face, had he messed everything up or had he done the right thing?
-----
You were sitting on the porch with John, drinks in your hands as you looked up at the stars. Jack had gone to bed a little while ago so the two of you decided to share a drink outside.
"Do you miss it?" you asked, breaking the comfortable silence that had settled over the two of you.
"Miss what?" John asked, looking at you but you were still looking at the sky.
"The gang...the life, I dunno" you shrugged.
"Sometimes. I don't really miss the life, we're safer now, more secure now, but I do miss the people" John confessed.
"Yeah...me too" you nodded in understanding.
"What's the life of a bounty hunter like?" John asked, since he hadn't really asked you about it properly.
"A lot of travelling, uncertainty of where you'll be next. I work alone so it can get a little lonely" you told him.
"It sounds a lot like life with in the camp...except for the loneliness" John pointed out and you knew that he was right.
"Yeah but it's all I know. What else am I meant to do? Settle down in a little town, get a job in a saloon and live out the rest of my days? I'd still be alone" you shrugged, not seeing the point in that. At least this way you got some adventure, the only place you would want to settle down is with John.
"But you don't have to be" John told you, hesitating before reaching over and placing his hand on top of yours.
You looked at him, meeting his gaze before looking down at your lap. "It's more complicated than that" you confessed.
John didn't understand what you meant by that but he decided against asking, maybe he shouldn't push you on this. For a moment it didn't really matter because he felt you squeeze his hand that was resting over yours.
-----
You lifted your shirt up and looked at yourself in the mirror, seeing that the scar on your stomach was completely healed. This meant that your time here was over, you had no excuse to stay.
You sighed to yourself before lowering your shirt again and leaving the bedroom where you had been getting changed, joining John in the living room.
"Has Jack gone to bed?" you asked, not seeing the young boy anywhere.
"Yeah and I poured you a drink" John smiled, pointing to the full glass on the table.
"Thanks" you gave him a forced smile as you sat down beside him.
"Are you alright?" John asked, instantly noticing that something wasn't right.
"I think it's time for me to go. My scar has healed and I have no reason to stay here any longer" you told him, playing with your fingers to distract yourself.
"No reason to stay? What about us? Me and Jack?" John asked, knowing that it was irrational that he was offended by your comment.
"You don't need me, you were doing fine by yourself" you reminded him.
"Yeah, we were doing fine but then you showed up and we started doing great. It's been so much better since you've been here" John told you honestly and you hung your head, this was as hard as you expected. "You're really leaving?" he asked, his voice smaller than before.
"I am" you nodded, knowing it was for the best. It had to be.
"Then I guess there's no harm in being honest with you...Jack loves you, he loves having you around. When I told him that you were the one who knocked at the door, you should have seen how his face lit up. He missed you even more than I realised" John told you and it felt like you had been shot in the chest. That definitely made you feel guilty. "And I missed you. You had been my best friend for years and I...I've loved you for just as long. I was an idiot for not saying anything the last day we saw each other but I couldn't, I didn't think you would feel the same and thought it would just be best for me to keep it to myself. But since you're leaving again, I think you should know...I love you, I always have" he confessed.
John expected you to say that you didn't feel the same way, to let him down gently and that you would be leaving tomorrow morning. Instead he was surprised by you suddenly cupping his face in your hands and touching your lips to his. He barely had time to return your kiss before you pulled away again.
"I love you too, John" you smiled as you rested your forehead against his, brushing your thumbs against his cheeks. "I've loved you for so long. It's why I thought I had to leave. I love you and I love Jack but I couldn't live here with you and your son, playing pretend at some sort of family when I loved you and you didn't feel the same. I knew that leaving would break my heart again but I didn't think I had a choice" you explained everything to him.
"You don't have to leave...please don't leave" John pleaded softly, his hands resting on your waist.
"I won't. Never again" you promised him and then his lips with on yours again.
You instantly responded to his kiss, wrapping one arm around his neck and burying your fingers in his hair, your other hand cupping his cheek. John gently lay your back down on the couch so that he was hovering over you.
"All I wanted was to go with you that day" you whispered against his lips, closing your eyes as John's forehead pressed against yours.
"You're here now and that's what matters" John reminded you, making you smile as his nose brushed against yours.
"And I'm not going anywhere" you told him.
"Say it again" John pressed a lingering kiss to your lips.
"I'm not-" you began to repeat but he stopped you.
"No, not that" he muttered, giving you another quick kiss.
"I love you" you smiled as you traced your fingertips along one of the scars on his face, sending a shiver down his spine.
"I love you too" John smiled before leaning down and capturing your lips in another kiss.
The two of you just moulded together like you were made for each other. The two of you had loved each other for so long, believing that the other only thought of you as a friend, it had been years of pining and longing...finally you were both here. The two of you were living an honest life, safe, and together.
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