Zayn sighs as Harry bursts into tears yet again when he has to have his insulin shot. As soon as it's over, he's sticking a plaster over the speck of blood on the surface of his thigh and tugging his trousers back up for him before he pulls him into a hug.
"I know, baby, I know," he soothes, tears pricking at his own eyes when the eight year old clings onto the front of his shirt.
It's been two full weeks and the boy has been home for one and a half of them now, and it's still been a lot for all of them to get used to. Harry has to check his sugars before and after each meal; when he's at home, the men will be there with him but whilst he's at school, he has to go to the nurse and eat lunch supervised instead of getting to be with his friends. It's a lot of change for the kid, a lot of change for all of them in general.
Zayn has to do the shopping that weekend and buy a lot of different foods to make sure that nothing would be too high in sugar for snacks and so on, and of course, that had upset Niall who loves his sugar.
Harry eventually starts to sniffle instead, and Zayn presses a kiss into his curls, rocking him back and forth a little. "Did it hurt?" He asks softly after, worried that he had hurt the boy in trying to help.
He currently has to have the insulin twice per day, only having more if his blood sugars rise too high in order to bring them down. And Harry hates the injections, he hates the numbers, and he hates everything about the illness. Zayn can tell that much, and he really feels for the poor kid.
Harry shakes his head against his chest. "N-no. I just don't like it," he murmurs, and Zayn sighs, holding the boy a little tighter.
"I know you don't bud. But remember what the doctor said? When you're a little older, you can get a special pump and that means you don't need to have the injections or -"
"I don't like any of it, Papa. I jus' want it to go away," he mumbles.
Zayn doesn't know what to say to make it better, so he just hugs the boy for a while longer before he says, "it's been about fifteen minutes, shall we take your blood sugar again and see if you can have something to eat now?" He offers when the boys stomach rumbles.
Harry gives a hesitant nod, shifting off of the man's lap to sit on the bed whilst he sets about getting the small bg machine set up.
The door flies open and Niall rushes in grinning. "Papa! Papa! Guess what -"
Zayn barely even glances at the boy, sighing instead. "Ni honey, Papa's a little busy right now. Why don't you go tell Daddy?" He says, and the boy pouts and leaves the room.
He turns back to Harry with the machine in hand, and the boy holds out his index finger. Zayn takes the small digit carefully before he pricks it, causing a small bubble of blood to rise and for Harry to flinch.
He winces in sympathy for the boy, lifting the machine and scraping the blood onto the end of the small plastic stick. It takes a few seconds before it flashes up with the boys blood sugar levels. He smiles and shows Harry the screen. "You see that bud?" He asks, and Harry rubs at his eye, giving a silent nod. He rubs the boys back reassuringly. "You know what that means?"
Harry gives another nod. "I can have food now?" He asks, and Zayn grins.
"Sure can," he says, standing up from the bed and holding out a hand, which Harry takes immediately.
He leads the boy down the stairs and into the kitchen, where Louis turns to face them with a smile, before his eyes land on Harry's tear-stained face. "Oh, baby," he murmurs, crossing the room to scoop the eight year old up with ease, the boy cuddling into him.
"He was really brave," Zayn praises, putting his arms around the both of them and making Harry smile slightly.
Louis pulls always after a moment, setting Harry down at the table. "Well, dinner's almost ready so why don't you go grab Li from the living room and - oh, is Ni not with you?" He asks, frowning around the room.
Zayn raises an eyebrow at that. "No? He came up for a sec but I was injecting Haz at the time. I told him to come down to you," he says, and Louis sighs.
"Oh. He came down to me and I told him to go up and check on you guys. He's probably upset...will you dish up the food whilst I go make sure he's alright?" He asks, and Zayn nods, feeling a little guilty for having dismissed their youngest earlier on.
Louis leaves the room as Liam enters, the twelve year old's eyes stuck to his phone so that he almost walks into the doorframe and then the counter on his way over to the table.
Zayn watches in amusement as he starts sorting their dinner onto plates, setting the first one down in front of Harry, who's much less sniffly now and tucks in hungrily.
"You messaging your girlfriend again, mister?" He teases, and Liam scowls at him as Zayn puts his plate in front of him.
"Emily is not my girlfriend Papa. We're just friends," he tells him in a matter-of-fact tone that completely contrasts the vibrant red that has found its way to his cheeks.
Harry laughs with his mouth full of food. "Ha! You're all red, that means you wanna marry her, doesn't it Papa?" He says with a cheeky grin, which makes Liam glare at his younger brother.
"Shut up Harry! I don't fancy her, um, wanna marry her - ugh! Just stop it," he groans, and Zayn chuckles but decides to mediate the situation that he started by placating the boy.
"Alright bud, we know," he says, and Liam looks a little sheepish before he sets down his phone.
"Um. Can she come 'round tomorrow? Just - just to study and...stuff?" He asks, and Zayn smirks, raising an eyebrow.
"And stuff?"
Liam's skin turns a darker shade of beet at that, and Zayn laughs. "Just to study. No stuff," he corrects quickly, and the man ruffles his hair.
"Course she can, Li," he says, then grins again. "My baby, growing up," he says dramatically.
The twelve year old whines at that. "Papaaaa!"
Before the teasing can continue, Louis hurries into the room looking panicked. Before Zayn can ask any questions, the man blurts out, "I can't find Ni anywhere!"
Liam and Harry both look up at that, gazes both instantly concerned.
Zayn shakes his head at both of the kids, trying to ignore his own panic brewing in the pit of his stomach. "Hey, it's fine. You two eat your dinner, okay?" He says, standing up and walking over to the man. "What do you mean? He's hiding somewhere. I'll help you look for him," he says, trying to calm his clearly distressed husband.
Louis looks ready to cry, shaking his head and gripping Zayn's arm. "Babe, I've checked everywhere -"
"Then we'll check again," he says quickly, because Niall's only six and still tiny - the chances are that he's just climbed somewhere small where the man wouldn't have thought to have checked.
"Ni?" He calls out, searching around the living room whilst Louis paces back and forth before going out into the hallway and calling out for the six year old again to no avail.
Zayn finds his own panic becoming more evident with each pillow that he overturns, frantically checking through the cabinet drawers in case the boy had somehow fit himself inside one of them.
After fifteen minutes of searching every room in the house, with Harry and Liam joining in after eating their dinner, and none of them having any luck, Zayn reaches the same stress level as his husband; heart racing in his chest, hands shaking, mind creating images of Niall hurt somewhere and unable to answer their shouts, of Niall somehow being taken from right under their noses and -
His work phone rings in his pocket and they all freeze for a moment as Zayn pulls it out. He winces when he sees it's one of his students from uni, quickly answering the call.
"Amber, I'm busy right now so I'm going to have to -"
The girl sounded a little nervous on the other end of the line as she cut him off. "Actually Mr. Malik, this isn't about art class. Um, I was just at royal park with some friends and there's this kid that I recognise and -"
Zayn'a heart leaps a little at that. "Niall? He's with you?"
"Uh, yeah," the girl answers. "But he won't talk to me. I'm pretty sure he's here by himself so I told him to stay put while I call you. He's really upset."
He can hear it then, the sobs in the background, and his heart starts thumping a little harder again because what if something bad happened, what if -
"I really hope this is your kid, otherwise it's gonna be really, really awkward in class tomorrow -"
"No, no, we've been searching the house for him. He must've- god - he must've managed to get out whilst we weren't looking," he mutters, whilst they weren't paying attention. "Can you keep him with you for five minutes? I'm getting my keys now," he says, and the girl lets out a breath of relief at that.
"Sure Mr Malik. Hey, can I maybe not do the assignment-"
He hangs up the phone and turns to Louis, who is watching him in suspense as Zayn lets out a reliever sigh and runs a hand over his face. "He's at the park, one of my students is with him," he says, and even Harry looks ready to cry in relief.
"The park?" Louis asks, eyes wide. "How on earth did he get there?"
Zayn just shakes his head, because they all know the answer to that. They left their six year old to his own devices and he managed to get out of the house and shit, anything could have happened.
He pushes the thought away as he swipes his keys off of the coffee table. "I'm going to get him now, he's freaked out," he says, turning to smile reassuringly at the boys. "You two do your homework. Oh, and Harry needs his sugars checking," he directs the last part to Louis before he's out of the door and in the car, driving faster than he probably should to the park.
And it's only a five minute drive but to walk? And for Niall's little legs? It's quite a way to go.
As soon as he gets there, he parks half on the curb and all but runs across the grass until he spots Amber hurrying over to him. Behind her, Niall is standing with Red clutched to his chest, sobbing loudly whilst some of Amber's friends try to soothe him.
"He's okay we think, he just won't stop crying -"
He just hurried past, toward his youngest son, dismissing the girl with a nod. "Yeah, thanks Amber. I really do appreciate it," he says, before he's falling to his knees in front of the small six year old.
Niall immediately lets out a relieved sob, throwing himself at the man "Papa!" He cries, and Zayn just lets out a long breath, wrapping his arms tightly around his baby and rocking him slightly, burying his nose against the boy's head and just basking him in the moment because he's there, he's alive, he's okay.
He presses a kiss against his scalp before he pulls back and holds the child at arms length whilst he sniffles and hiccups, patting his hands over him carefully to check for injuries. "You're not hurt anywhere? Nobody did anything or spoke to you?" He asks in a rush, and the boy just whimpers and shakes his head.
"I - I didn't talk to strangers, P-Papa," he says, and Zayn just lets out another sigh, bringing the child into his arms just to pull away again.
"Niall Malik, don't you ever do that again! What were you thinking?" He scolds.
Niall flinches at the raise in volume, bottom lip wobbling again as fresh tears begin to fall. He shrugs. "M'sorry Papa!" He wails, and Zayn winces, pulling the boy into his arms and standing up with him.
He turns to Amber and her friends again, smiling tightly. "Really, thank you," he tells her, and she just shrugs.
"It's okay. See you tomorrow Mr Malik," she gives a wave as he just hoists Niall up higher on his hip and carries him back to the car.
As soon as they reach the vehicle, he climbs into the back beside the boy, buckling him into the booster seat. He keeps on crying and so Zayn tugs down on his sleeve and tries to wipe the tears away.
No matter what the reason, it always breaks his heart whenever any of his boys cry - and he's already had to face the ordeal with Harry today, and now Niall too.
"Baby, please don't cry. You're okay now, you're okay," he soothes, hating the way the boy's exhales jolt from sobs. "Nobody hurt you at all?" He asks again, wanting to know for certain.
Niall just shakes his head, his thumb moving up to his mouth for comfort the way it always has. "I - I didn't m-mean to, Papa," he splutters around his thumb, and Zayn sighs, pressing his lips to the boy's forehead.
"Baby, you know you can't go out on your own. Why would you just wonder off like that?"
"You and Daddy both shouted at me," he murmurs shakily.
Zayn winces, shaking his head. "Baby, neither of us shouted. I only asked that you go to Daddy because I was busy with Harry's injections. You know he's poorly."
Niall's chin wobbles some more at that and he moves his thumb from his mouth. "I don't wan' him to die!" He bursts out suddenly, sobs tearing through his tiny body again and Zayn sighs, because of course the boy is bothered about Harry's illness more than he's been letting on.
The two of them are like two peas in a pod, and through this whole thing, nobody has really asked him if he's okay. It's a big thing for a six year old to watch his big brother collapse and then have to be taken away in an ambulance.
"Oh, Niall," he murmurs, taking the child out of his booster seat again and pulling him into his lap, rocking him like a baby and pressing kisses into his hair. "Baby, Harry isn't going to die, okay?"
"But he wouldn't wake up a-and I was scared," he chokes out, and Zayn just pulls him closer again.
"I know baby, and that must've been really frightening for you to see, but Harry's okay. He just needs a little extra love for a while because this is really scary for him, too," he explains, running his fingers through the six year olds blond hair before an idea hits him. "Hey, you know what? I think Harry would really like it if you could maybe learn some stuff about his diabetes and help him when he has to have his injections. He always gets a bit scared and I know you'll help him be brave," he says.
Niall sniffles at that, nodding against his chest. "I wanna help him," he murmurs, before he sits up and rubs at his eyes tiredly, looking up at the man. "I didn't mean to go to the park, I - I was just walkin' and I got scared, and then that girl was talking to me but I didn't speak back 'cause you always say don't talk to strangers," he says.
Zayn smiles at that, using a gentle hand to wipe away the remaining tears on the boy's cheeks. "You did the right thing baby. What wasn't the right thing to do was to run away like that. Something really bad could've happened, and me and Daddy and your brothers didn't know where you were! We were really worried," he tells him, and Niall just leans back against his chest.
"Sorry," he whispers, wiping his face against the man's shirt. Zayn doesn't care, doesn't even react. "I'll never ever do it ever ever again," he promises, and Zayn manages to crack a smile at that.
"That's what I want to hear," he says with a grin, staying in the back of the parked car as the sunlight dims and Niall falls asleep on his lap, not much bigger than he'd been at three years old.
He holds onto him for a while longer as he pulls out his phone to text his husband and let him know that everything is okay, just appreciating the fact that he has one healthy, beautiful kid sleeping in his arms, as well as two more beautiful boys at home and a beautiful husband.
And even though he's probably overused the word, and it's been a really shitty day when it comes down to it...he can't help but feel like this life he has built is really damned beautiful in that moment.