Without saying goodbye to my coworkers and Mr. Lee, I bolted. Still in my work uniform, I climbed on my bike and pedaled as fast as I could. My ears were ringing and I could feel cold sweat on my forehead. I'm pretty sure my face was as pale as it could get.
"What is it, Anna? You know I'm working. My shift ends in one hour."
"Y-Yeon Joon..."
"Are you okay? What's wrong?"
"S-something h-hap-pened."
"You're scaring me now. What happened?"
"I AM SO SORRY, YEON JOON!"
"Breathe, Anna. Tell me what happened."
Anna then told me what happened.
Anna and Sun Won were shopping at the little boutique close to our apartment. It was a quaint two-story building where everything was cheaper than in regular malls.
I convinced Anna to shop there for Sun Won because I didn't want her to spend more money than she needed to. She admitted defeat and went to the boutique where she normally wouldn't go to.
Her voice was shaking and hysterical when she repeated the events that transpired. Through the tremor in her voice and the sobs that racked her body, I managed to make out what she said.
She didn't know what caused it, but a big fire consumed the small building.
I could already hear fire trucks heading towards where I was headed. My lungs were burning, but the adrenaline kept me going. The harsh wind worsened the cold feeling I had.
As I neared the boutique, I saw tall flames dancing, smoke billowing through the broken windows. People were out gaping at the scene. Some had their cellphones out, taking footage of the burning flames consuming the boutique and everything it had.
I first saw the owner of the shop crying at her livelihood literally burning in front of her eyes. I saw people being carried out by the medic, oxygen masks put on, soot on their skin and clothes.
My heart was pounding, still not believing the last thing Anna said on the phone.
I searched frantically for her. I pushed through the crowd, hoping to spot my best friend and my sister. I prayed to whatever god was out there that both of them were safe.
In front, I spotted her. Anna.
Still in the clothes she wore to school, she was seated on a stretcher, her phone clutched tightly in her hands. The medics were taking her vitals and forcing her to keep still.
She looked ashen and frightened behind the oxygen mask.
I ran to where she was. She looked startled at my sudden appearance before her eyes watered again and began sobbing.
"We need to get her to the hospital. She had inhaled a lot of smoke in there and it seems like she went through quite a shock," one of the medical team members said to me. I can only nod frantically.
"Wait." I stopped them from dragging Anna away. "Where's Sun Won?" I ask. "Is she okay?"
Even though she told me on the phone already, I refused to believe it. Anna understood as well, so she refused to meet my eyes.
"Sir, we need to take her now."
"You can take her if she tells me where my sister is!" I yelled. I turn towards Anna. "Tell me! Where's Sun Won?" I screamed.
Anna flinched at my loud tone. She shook her head frantically, stifling whimpers. "I-I'm so sorry, Yeon Joon..." she trailed off.
The truth started to settle in. I couldn't see her anywhere and Anna looked too guilty for it to be a lie.
I didn't know when I started crying. I only noticed I had when I felt my cheeks become wet.
My body slid down to the ground in shock. My limbs were weak but my brain was running wild.
Sun Won is dead. My baby sister is dead.
Anna couldn't save her from the fire. The hot flames consumed her body while she screamed in pain.
The image made his heart hurt even more.
Anger surged through him. Gaining stability, he ran towards the burning building.
She could still be alive. I can still save her, be there for her.
He was stopped by a fireman. "Sir, stop. You can't go in there!"
"No no no no no. You have to let me through. My little sister is in there!" I wailed.
His gaze annoyed me. It was full of sympathy, a feeling I hated to be at the receiving end of. But maybe that sympathy would let him let me save my Sun Won.
My brain was not thinking rationally at this point, you could say.
"Sir, I'm sorry but I can't let you do that." He said. His words fell on deaf ears as I struggled against his hold.
Soon, two other men came forward and helped in pulling me backwards, away from the building.
The onlookers watched me as I was being dragged back. Their eyes held pity towards me but I couldn't get myself to care at.
I just continued to scream.
°°°°°
I slowly walked through the halls of the hospital, dazed. I vaguely recalled asking the receptionist where I could find Anna before she directed me towards the area where people were laid in stretchers. Most of the patients there came with Anna--victims of the fire.
I saw Anna at the far end of the room. She stared at the ceiling, hands still clutched on her cellphone, as if waiting for it to ring. Her cheeks were stained with dried up tears and she was being interrogated by a police officer.
Mr. and Mrs. Song was nowhere to be found. I guessed they were talking with Anna's doctor if she could be transferred to a private room.
Anna didn't see me yet. She answered the policeman's questions while staring at the ceiling, her voice devoid of emotion.
"Do you know what may have caused the fire, Miss Song?"
She shook her head no. "I was just buying clothes for my f-friend's little sister." Her eyes welled up again. "I didn't see anything. I'm sorry."
The policeman sighed but didn't probe. "It's okay." He jotted down on his notebook. "We will ask the others if they saw anything suspicious. For all we know, it could have been just an accident." Anna nodded. "By the way, you said you friend's little sister was with you. Where is she now? You were alone when you went out the building."
Anna let out a sniffle. She began to sob again. "I-I didn't mean to leave her there!" The man furrowed his eyebrows and placed his hand on Anna's shoulder to comfort her when she swatted it away. "Everything happened so quickly. I-I didn't know what to d-do." She whimpered.
"I know, Miss. I'm not insinuating anything." At this point, he knew that the little sister she was talking about didn't make it out. He looked mildly uncomfortable at the crying girl.
It looked like the poor man was going to play therapist for a while longer because I heard Anna continue talking. "Yeon Joon will hate me if he found out." My ears perked up at the sound of my name and my heart stilled.
"Is he the friend you were talking about?"
Anna nodded. "He will kill me if he knew." She said in an empty voice.
"I don't want to meddle in whatever business you have with your friend, Miss. But in my opinion, he wouldn't blame you for getting out of the building if you didn't have a choice anymore." He said comfortingly.
Anna scoffed. "Yes, he will."
"Look, Miss. He will feel sad and angry, but in the end he will know that it's not your fault that his sister died." Hearing from a stranger's mouth that Sun Won had indeed died felt different. More real somehow.
"He will never forgive me." She insisted. Why?
"Believe what you want for now, Miss. I speak to victims who experience survivor's guilt all the time. This will pass."
She finally looked at the officer in the eye. "I feel like I will take this with me to the grave. Sun Won was everything to Yeon Joon. He lived and breathed for her. She was all he had."
The officer grimaced at the last sentence. It looked like he was out of words too.
I was listening intently to the conversation. I feel like I wasn't breathing, not wanting to miss a single word.
"Yeon Joon will never forgive me for leaving her sister in the changing room while she begged for me to save her."
Like a glass shattering in the empty silence, my heart thrummed forcefully. My eyes widened blazed with fury.
"You what?" I finally spoke.
Both Anna and the unnamed officer looked at me. They both seemed startled and somewhat frightened. The officer took a cautioned step towards me as the gravity of the situation sunk.
My hands were in fists and my jaw clenched.
Sun Won, my little sister, cried and screamed for Anna to save her. Anna, my trusted best friend, left her crashing and burning and turned around to run out of the building.
"Yeon Joon!" Anna paled.
"Sir, I need you to calm down-"
"YOU LEFT MY SISTER INSIDE THAT BURNING BUILDING WHILE YOU DITCHED AND RAN?" I bellowed in anger. Heads turned towards me. "I TRUSTED YOU! YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I TRUST! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?" I must have a crazed look in my eyes as I glared at my best friend.
Anna sat up on the bed and sunk into the wall, hugging her knees in fear. "I didn't have a choice!"
"No, you don't have a choice if she was already dead while you ran out of the building. I would have understood if that had happened. But that wasn't the case, was it?" I spat. "How am I supposed to feel? The image of my sister, helpless, as she begged her unni to help her. Only for you to leave her while she was scared out of her mind. Did you even try?" I ask, weak.
Anna nodded frantically. "You know that I tried to save her, Yeon Joon." She said in the middle of sobbing.
"Was it hopeless?" I ask her, knowing the answer. "In any alternate universe where the fire happened in that same place, was there really no possible way for you to help her?" Anna remained silent, not making eye contact with me. That was the answer I already know.
I wanted to hit something.
Veins were popping on my forehead as the suppressed anger consumed me. Before I could get a punch out and hurt someone who didn't deserve it, I released from the grasp of the police offer and some of the nurses who were holding me back. I storm out of the hospital.
The last thing I saw was Anna's teary-eyed expression on her face. I could tell she was genuinely sorry for her actions but I can't find it in myself to forgive her. At least not yet.
I don't know how I got the strength, but I pedaled my way back to my empty apartment.
I would apologize to Mr. Lee tomorrow and I would make up for the homework that I couldn't do tonight. I just needed time to be alone and think. Not that I have a choice, I chuckled to myself darkly.
I left my belongings back at the chicken place out of hurry. Thankfully, my key was in my jeans pocket. When I unlocked the door, the weight of the now cold walls was suffocating.
Usually, I would be greeted by Anna at the door while Sun Won was busy doing her homework or studying for a test. She would scrunch her nose up when she had trouble with memorizing terms for history. When I saw that disgruntled look on her face, I would swoop in and help her with mnemonics to ease the difficulties. On most nights, Anna would head home as soon as I arrive. But on Fridays, she would stay at our place to cook and eat dinner with us.
The image of that ran painfully through my head while I drank from the bottle of soju I stocked in my room, away from Sun Won's reach of course.
With a deep breath, I picked up my phone and dialed my mother's number. I heard three rings before she picked up. "Eomma, I need to tell you something-"
"Yeon Joon, I'm working," she hissed. "Can this wait until the end of the day?" she asks.
I look at my phone in disbelief before bringing it back next to my ear. "No. This is important."
"I'm really sorry, son. But my boss is giving me the stink eye right now. I'll call you back later, I promise. Love you." Then she hung up.
It looks like I need more bottles of soju if I want to survive this night.
I drank another glassful of the alcoholic drink in disdain.
I rubbed my hand all over my face in frustration. This morning, the sun was shining, our mother remembered to call and wish my sister a happy birthday. This morning, I had a sister.
Right now, I feel like I could hit rock bottom.
My mother was too busy with work to know that her daughter was no longer with us, my best friend in the entire world betrayed me, and my sister was gone...just like that. Poof.
On her birthday too.
I drank another glassful.
"How about I buy you that Barbie doll you saw at the store?" I smile mischievously.
She cheered. "Yay! I love you, Oppa!"
"Love you too, Sun Won." I pinch her cheek. "Go in now. I have to go to school too. Happy Birthday."
I suppose I should be thankful that the last words I exchanged with her were pleasant and full of love.
Tears were flowing endlessly at this point. The salty tears mixed with the burning sensation of the soju in my hand as I took another gulp.
I remembered that she was excited to show me her test result. There was no doubt that she had a perfect score since she had been studying hard last night.
I laughed humorlessly at the expectations I had for this night. We didn't have a lot of money, but we would have fun watching movies Sun Won liked and eating her favorite food that I would make myself. It would be a simple, quiet night and we would be happy. And look where I am now.
Tomorrow, I would be prepared to hold a memorial for Sun Won.
But tonight, I would just drink my sorrows away.
A/N
Well, this was sad asf. Can't fictional future hotel owners of the dead catch a break? 😭