Thanks to the Felucia mission Anakin had been assigned to, he had been out of the Jedi Temple for the past few days, so you were free from the tension that seemed to follow you whenever he was around you.
Unfortunately, thanks to the briefing room incident, your dreams about Anakin had gotten worse, so technically there was still some tension that you had been experiencing.
For the past few nights, you had been dreaming constantly about Anakin. You weren't sure if it was the Force telling you something about Anakin, or if it was your subconscious being constantly worried about your future with Anakin.
Your dreams still consisted of the same things: Sex and violence, except, instead of the campsite, it was the briefing room. For instance, instead of giving him a blow-job, you battled him in lightsaber combat, or he fucked you senselessly on the holographic table.
But today Anakin wouldn't be on your mind--no, you had better things to do than worry about the guy who fucked you in the face a few days ago. You could care less. Today, you were training younglings with Obi-Wan, simply because Yoda had been out on Kashyyk, so of course, Obi-Wan was put in charge to train them, and he dragged you into it.
You must admit, the cute kids were certainly taking your mind off of him.
"Alright everyone, shields down!" Instructed Obi-Wan, as he stood in the center of the room, while you stood to the side, observing.
The younglings pulled down the opaque shield that was attached to their helmets in front of their eyes, standing with their lightsabers in front of them, waiting for further instructions.
"Now, turn on your lightsabers, " he told them and pulled out his own lightsaber for demonstration.
As you watched, you couldn't help but notice a child still struggling to pull their shield down, as if it was stuck.
You looked at the child, and they quickly looked back at you and mouthed for you to come over and help them. You smiled, finding it cute that a child needed your help, and so you quickly ducked your head, hoping not to interrupt the class and made your way to the back of the circular room where the child was and crouched down to help them.
"Thank you, master, " she said, in her small, innocent voice.
You smiled and placed your hands on the shield. "I'm afraid I'm not a master yet, but you're welcome." And with one tug, you pulled the shield down in front of her eyes, and it locked into place. She gave you a thumbs up; instantly making your heart melt into a puddle of awe. You smiled back at her--even though she couldn't see you--and got up from your crouching position and returned back to the entrance of the room where you had been observing.
You thought back to your childhood, reminiscing on the simpler days--days where you didn't have to worry about the war, or losing lives because of it, or any politics, or reoccurring violent dreams every night--you wished you could be back into your youngling body, swishing your lightsaber around for the first time like this group was doing, and the only worry that would cross your mind is worrying whether or not you would cut your arm off from dropping your lightsaber.
You blinked, coming back from your thoughts and noticed that Obi-Wan had instructed them further, as they now practiced simple movements of swinging their sabers back and forth. You watched their faces for any kind of emotion, but only saw blank slates. Nevertheless, you still smiled as you knew they were all very excited about swinging their lightsabers back and forth for the first time, as you could feel the excited and joyous energy in the room swell. The energy brought back nostalgic feeling, your heart began to fill with a sense of old happiness.
"Adorable, aren't they?" Obi-Wan chuckled, which startled you out of your nostalgic state.
"Oh, yes. Brings me back to simpler times."
He nods. "Oh yes, me too. I'm somewhat jealous of them; if you know what I mean, " he sighs as if he was reminiscent too.
"I do know what you mean. A child's innocence is one to be treasured, " you said, surprising yourself with your choice of words. You were starting to sound like Obi-Wan and Master Yoda.
"Oh yes, I do agree with that. "
You nodded and left the conversation there, entranced with the children as they continued to wave their lightsabers back and forth, giggles started to build up in the room from excitement. You smiled from their innocent cheeriness, your heart now swelled with enjoyment from hearing their laughter.
Obi-Wan walked back to the center of the room and laughed. "What's so funny? Did Patri drop his lightsaber again?"
The room filled up with more laughter as Obi-Wan had referenced that incident, but a child in the front row clicked off his lightsaber and raised his shield. "No! I didn't." It was a small Balosar child, who frowned at the reference that Obi-Wan had made. "We're just having fun, Master Obi-Wan."
Obi-Wan crosses his arms and smiles. "Well I'm glad, but now is the time for the training droids, " Obi-Wan says, and several gasps came from the children, all of them super excited to train with their training lightsabers. Obi-Wan pulls out a small and sleek remote and pushes a button.
In the back of the circular room, the floor had moved that was followed by a whirring sound. You rose an eyebrow in curiosity as you examined what was happening, and before your eyes, metal shelves had risen out of the floor that contained all of the spherical training droids for the younglings. You watched in awe as you had never seen this before--the whirring noise came to a halt as the shelves had finally risen to a stop.
"That's new, " you muttered. Whenever you were a youngling about twenty years ago, there were Jedi who came in with crates of them, and now there were shelves of them that slid out of the floor.
"Impressive, isn't it?" Obi-Wan turns to you before he hit another button on the remote, which seemed to activate all of the training droids as all of them flew to a youngling.
You nodded and stared, impressed with the technology. "How long has it been like that?"
Obi-Wan shrugged. "Past ten years."
Your eyes widened, now realizing how rarely you visited the training room, and just how much the war had kept you busy and away from the Temple. "Wow."
Obi-Wan nodded and continued to instruct while you stood around him and helped the younglings when instructed. Sometimes you would guide their lightsaber or give advice on their technique, or advice on using the Force. You had to admit that helping train younglings was fun, and you wanted to do it more often.
Eventually, the training had ended and your day of hanging around younglings had ceased.
Obi-Wan pressed the button on the remote to release the shelves back into their department beneath the floor, leaving only you and Obi-Wan left in the training room, as the small younglings had been taken by their caretakers to the banquet hall to eat and finish up for the day.
"Well, how did you like that?" Obi-Wan asked as he shoved the slim remote into a pocket in his utility belt.
You smiled-- a feeling of hope washed over you like the water on the morning beaches of Naboo. It was calming and yet, reassuring. "I enjoyed it thoroughly. I really liked helping the younglings. It brought me back to simpler times when I needed it the most."
Obi-Wan shared a smile with you, knowing exactly what you meant. "Yes, of course. " He turned to walk out of the training room with you now at his side. The doors slid open and allowed for both of you to enter the vast hallways of the Jedi Temple. "You should come back and help me more often. It seems to put you at ease. From what I can sense, this is the most at ease you've felt in a while."
You raise an eyebrow, thinking about how true that statement was. It was almost too true. Almost every day you were being dragged around by the Council or by Anakin. Being in that training room with the younglings felt like you were in a different world--a world of peace and freedom. You knew it sounded ridiculous, but there was an innocent feeling being surrounded by children who needed your guidance. It felt empowering.
"Yeah, I guess you're right. I haven't been feeling like myself lately, " you chuckle nervously, afraid of the conversation of Anakin being brought up. You felt at peace at the moment, and you didn't need another reminder of that... Abomination.
"Oh yes, I know that. I know you haven't been feeling like yourself at all, so much so that I've almost forgotten what you're actually like. Almost every morning I bring you a drink from Dex's because I know you don't get rest, and I know you're being stressed from the war. Is there anything else that's bothering you that you would like to talk about?" He asks concerningly.
You chuckle, noticing how much Obi-Wan sounded like a therapist; like you were required to tell him everything that was bothering you in order to solve some sort of mental illness. You didn't mind his concern, but him wanting to solve your problems was a bit troubling. "No, not really. I feel like you know everything anyway. "
Obi-Wan laughed. "I might, but it seems like something else is on your mind. What's troubling you?"
You sighed, now having to enter a conversation about Anakin Skywalker, only because you knew Obi-Wan wasn't going to let this down. He was a brother to you, after all. He wasn't going to stop bothering you until you told him what was the matter.
"I've been having bad dreams again, " you admit, now only partially telling the truth.
"Oh? What are they about?"
You rub your forehead in thought, placing your mental shields up so Obi-Wan wouldn't read any accidental thoughts of yours. "They're just... Really violent images of me fighting Anakin. It's been getting on my nerves." That, and him fucking me senseless on the hologram table.
"Wow. What do you think it's caused by?"
Oh, him just fucking me in my face, that's all.
"I'm unsure. It could've been one of our incidents, I don't really know."
"Speaking of incidents, what happened yesterday?"
Your eyes widened as your mind began to race with thoughts, worried thoughts that maybe he was on to you. Did he know? Did Anakin say something? Did he hear? Did he read your thoughts?
You blinked, trying not to take too long to answer his question or else he could get suspicious. "What do you mean?"
"Well when we left the briefing room yesterday, you and Anakin had stayed behind. I figured something happened because I waited for you and Anakin to come out, but I left because you were taking too long." He rose an eyebrow and crosses his arms. Too late. He already looked like he was suspecting something.
"We just-"
"Did he hurt you?" He stepped closer and looked at you, his eyes were locked with yours. He was clearly trying to read your energy-- your Force signature. From what you could tell, your signature was weak, you weren't sleeping well anymore so of course it seemed damaged.
"No... He didn't hurt me. We just... We just fought. We argued and that was it." Lies. Lies, lies, lies. You hated lying to Obi-Wan.
"You're guilty. " Of course. Obi-Wan read you like an open book. "Is that all that happened?"
"Yes!" You shouted at him, startling him, and several others that roamed the halls. Your chest rose up and down, fueled by stress and anxiety from being interrogated. You averted your eyes to the floor, unable to look at him in the eyes and tell him the truth. You didn't want Obi-Wan to yell at Anakin or tear him apart--because you knew that Obi-Wan willingly would. It was in his nature to protect you, for some stupid reason, he felt like an older brother--like you were his responsibility. "Yes, that's all that happened. Thank you for your concern Obi-Wan, but I don't need you to solve all of my problems. "
Even though you weren't looking at him, you could sense him. He seemed taken aback by what you had said, after all, he was the one who had been helping you with everything for the past few weeks, and now you were just throwing his help away like it was nothing. You felt stupid saying it, but it's what you needed. You needed to be alone, instead of having people barge into your life as if they were some kind of drill sergeant.
"I see. " He backed up, his signature reeked of loneliness. "Well, I'll be off now. May the Force be with you."
You looked up at him, wishing to say something back, but he had already turned away, now storming down the hall with his brown cloak flowing behind him.
You turned to head down the other way to avoid meeting back up with Obi-Wan.
Even though you wanted to, or that this felt like it was right, you hated it. Maybe being alone was better than you expected it to be.
Hopefully you would be able to solve things out with the Force before you could go insane, because that's what you felt like was happening.