For the second time today, I was on a plane. This time on my way to Harry rather than leaving him. The flight was a little over six hours and I would be arriving in Quebec around ten-thirty pm their time. I had a lot of time to think while I was on the flight and I knew I had a lot to think about.
I'm constantly holding the weight of all the things I never say, constantly trying to find the surface of my feelings but drowning in all the words. I wasn't good at words or knowing how to be myself. That was what was making this hard for me. I felt like I could be myself around Harry, but I was so scared to be myself. I hadn't been myself in years. I wasn't even sure who I was anymore.
I was always dancing around my problems never finding the words and I was scared Harry would soon figure out I wasn't good enough. But I couldn't make that decision for him. So what was I to do? What was I going to lose, besides something I don't even have yet? I was on my way to him and what was the point in all of this if I wasn't with him? Where he was was where I wanted to be. I wasn't sure yet if I was brave enough to show him how I felt but I wanted to show him. I wish it was as easy as pressing a button, but it wasn't, so I just needed to suck it up.
The flight went pretty quickly since I spent most of the time arguing back and forth with myself, coming to the conclusion that I just needed to let go and let what happens to happen. When the flight landed I sent Harry a quick text. Receiving a phone call in return.
"Hello?" I answered.
"Hey, where are you?"
"About to exit the terminal and then I'm headed to baggage claim," I said, as I rounded the corner, following the signs for the exit, "where are you?" I asked, figuring he was still at his hotel waiting for me to arrive. I still wasn't sure who he had waiting for me, he said he had it all covered, so I tried to trust him and not worry.
"Hold on one second," he said but there was a lot of commotion and voices around him and the line went dead.
"Harry? Harry? You there?" I pulled the phone from my ear but Gabby's face stared back at me. I wasn't sure what happened but it made me nervous. I sent him a text asking if he was okay and received no reply. I arrived at the baggage claim and easily found my bag. I wasn't sure what was happening and I still hadn't heard from Harry. I pulled my phone back out scanning it hoping he sent me something and I just missed it but there was nothing. I didn't want to call him if he was busy but he had me worried. I pulled up his contact and hit call. It rang and rang and rang but no answer. I was going to let it ring until it went to voicemail, in hopes that he would pick up at the last minute.
"Hello," he said, answering the phone, but he was quiet. A whisper. I could barely hear him.
"Harry, are you okay?"
"Yes, I'm fine. I just got caught in the middle of something." He was still whispering. Where was he?
"Okay? You scared me," I told him honestly. Honesty seemed to become more natural to me where he was concerned.
"You were scared?" he asked with a chuckle.
"Are you laughing at me, Harold?" I placed my hand on my hip. I was still at the baggage claim. I wasn't sure where I was to go but I was sure Harry would get to that. I was just enjoying talking to him at this moment and I didn't want to ruin it.
"Stop it with the cute sass. Get your hand off your hip." I dropped my hand down. My eyes grew wide. Did he know me that well already, that he knew my hand would be on my hip?
"How did you know my hand was on my hip?"
"Turn around, silly." I flipped my head around. There he was. In the same hoodie and sunglasses, he was in, that day at the park. It seemed like a million years ago, but it was only two days before.
"Hi," I said into my phone, just staring at him, still not moving. The minute I saw him it was like I was breathing fresh air, and it had me frozen in my spot. His eyes glared into me, sending chills down my back.
"Hi." We both stood there looking at each other. I wasn't sure for how long when Harry broke the silence, "You're beautiful."
"Liar." It slipped out. He complimented me and I called him a liar. His mouth dropped.
"Did you just call me a liar?" He said a grin covering his face. I could feel my face going red and my chest tighten. I hit end on my phone putting it into my pocket and bringing my hands up to cover my face, trying to hide as much as I could.
"Maybe," I said but my words were muffled by my hands. I wasn't sure why but I felt the sudden urge to cry. I had never really been called beautiful before, it was hard to hear. I felt hands come around my arms and pull my hands from my face.
"You don't see it do you?" He was standing right in front of me. My arms still in his hands, but I couldn't look up at him. I knew if I looked at him, I would cry. I did not need him to see me cry.
"See what?" I wanted to be able to shrink away from this conversation.
"The way people look at you."
"People don't look at me." He released one of my arms bringing his hand up under my chin and moving my face to meet his.
"They do." I shook my head his hand still under my chin. "Do you trust me?" I wasn't sure why, we just met, but I did. I shrugged my shoulders but nodded my head. "Good. Then trust me that they do." I smiled.
"Thank you." It was all I could say. I wanted to trust him, but I just didn't see it.
"Anytime you need reminding, I'm here." Strangely, I knew he wasn't lying. No matter what happened I knew he would still be here for me. "You ready to go?" I nodded my head, still not able to find words. "Okay." He grabbed my bag and headed towards the door but I stayed where I was. He stopped when he realized I wasn't with him, turning back to me. "You coming?"
"Yes," I said shaking my head to get out of my frozen state. I sped walked to catch up with him. He led me out the doors to a waiting car. It was almost eleven so it was somewhat empty with a few people here and there. George stepped out of the car taking my bag from Harry. "Hello George," I said.
"Good evening, Ms.DJ. I trust you had a good flight?" I didn't like Ms. but it was better than ma'am so I would take it.
"Yes, it was fine, but I'm glad to be on solid ground again." I wasn't afraid of flying, It was more so I was afraid of falling. I didn't care if it was from two feet or thirty thousand feet. George nodded his head and brought my bag to the back. Harry opened the door for me and I lifted my body into the black SUV. It wasn't very tall but neither was I. Harry at six-foot-one, somewhat toward over my short five-foot-four frame. Harry followed in after me and George soon after that, climbing in the driver's seat. He slowly pulled into the on-ramp and swerved his way through traffic. The silence in the car was weirdly comforting, but I broke it anyway.
"What happened earlier?" I asked turning to Harry who was very close to me. Closer than I remembered him being when he first got in, I was probably imagining it though.
"What do you mean?" He asked turning towards me, our knees touching as he did. I flinched a little but didn't move. I was hoping he didn't notice my reaction.
"Earlier when you called me. The commotion. I figured you were at the hotel but you were at the airport. So what happened?" I just kept thinking about it and how it affected me.
"Oh, that. George told me to stay at the hotel, but I wanted to be here when you landed. I figured it would be okay since it was later in the evening. I was originally waiting for you right by the terminal exit, that was when I called you. But I was spotted, it got kind of crazy for a second, I ended up dropping my phone when I was on the call with you and I had to move. It died down pretty fast, it wasn't a big deal." He put himself in this situation for me. Why?
"You should have listened to George," I said picking a string on my shirt sleeve.
"Why?" He reached his hand over and stopped my fingers from picking. I pulled my hand away from his. His skin on mine sent chills down my back once again.
"Because you shouldn't risk yourself for me. I'm not worth it." I moved my hand back to my sleeve. Once again causing Harry to bring his hand to mine stopping my fingers but this time he didn't let me pull away.
"Please stop that."
"Sorry. The string was just bothering me."
"No not that. Well yes, that. Here." He released my hand and bent his head down to my sleeve. He took my sleeve in his hand and the fiber between his teeth ripping it off. My eyes grew wide. That might have been one of the hottest things I had ever seen. "Better?" He asked pulling away. I nodded my head.
"Thank you, but if that wasn't what you meant what did you mean?" I asked putting my arm back down by my side.
"You started by calling me a liar when I called you beautiful and then now saying you're not worth it. I don't know how you don't see it. But you are. You are worth so much. I just wish you could see it. I wish you could see you through my eyes. I know I haven't known you for very long or very well yet but I see such a bright, beautiful, and amazing girl that is worth so much more than what I could offer her. She may not exactly know who she is right now but she will soon enough. If I have to make it my life's mission to help her figure it out." My mouth dropped open. Sometime during his speech, I looked up at him and we were staring into each other's eyes. I wasn't able to look away. There was a lump in my throat that I wasn't sure I could swallow down. "Got it?"
"Yes," I said nodding my head. His hand came up to my face, his thumb wiping a tear from under my eye, I didn't know that fell.
"Good." He turned his body back to facing forward but he reached his hand out grabbing mine, intertwining our fingers. We sat like that the rest of the car ride. In silence. Hand in hand. His thumb rubbing small circles into the back of my hand.
***
We pulled up to the hotel and there were girls lined up behind barricades. Some were sleeping others were playing cards or reading. All of them waiting. For what? The possibility to catch a glimpse of Harry? As the car pulled up many of them started to wake others. Panic began to break out. They knew he had left and that he was back. They may not have known where he had gone but they didn't care, they knew he was back now and this was their chance. I wasn't sure how I felt about this. What would they think watching me step out of this car with Harry? My suitcase in hand?
"We are getting out here?" I began to pull my hand away from Harry's but he wouldn't let me. He looked out the window at all the girls. I was glad the windows were tinted and that they couldn't see in. I felt like my heart was about to pound out of my chest.
"Oh. Um. Hey George can we possibly go in a back way?" Harry leaned forward asking George.
"No George. Don't go through the trouble because of me. This is fine," I said. As much as I was terrified to step out of this vehicle, I didn't want to be a burden on anyone. This all seemed like a lot already and I didn't want to add more to it. No matter what Harry said, it was a lot.
"Are you sure?" Harry asked leaning towards me. No, I wasn't.
"If your sure," I said in response. I was letting what I decided on the plane to finally take effect. I was letting go. I was leaving it all in Harry's hands.
"I haven't been more sure about anything in my life." I was fighting the urge to rip my hand out of his and tell him he was being ridiculous. That he chose wrong. I was not good enough and he was making a mistake. But I didn't. I took a deep breath and nodded.
Harry reached over, opening the door. He took one more glance at me before releasing my hand and stepping out of the car. Okay good. I was just some girl nothing more. I could shrink away and just be someone in the background as we went inside. The eruption outside started up once they caught a glimpse of Harry stepping out of the car. They weren't necessarily screaming, more like all talking at once. Everyone trying to get Harry's attention. But they didn't have it. He was solely focused on me inside the car.
"You coming?" He asked fanning his hand toward himself, signaling me to scooch out of the car. I did as he asked. Slowly. Once I was close enough to him he grabbed my hand, helping me out of the car. So much for me being just some girl as we walked in. I stepped out of the car and the voices lowered. They were all staring at me and our intertwined hands. Harry began to drag me towards the door and the voices erupted again. All thoughts of me gone. Like they were taken off guard for a second but then didn't think twice about it. Harry stopped to take some photos and sign things, releasing my hand each time he did so but then taking it again right after.
We were so close to the door when he stopped again. He leaned over to talk to a fan when I felt a tap on the shoulder. I looked to my right and seen a smiling face staring back at me. She was a short girl who looked to be about seventeen.
"You're DJ, right?" She asked.
"Yes. How did you know?" These girls must be some kind of FBI if they already knew my name.
"A lot of us follow you. Some proud few followed you before, because of the videos, but some of us, well most of us, don't let them ever fool you if they say they were OG's they just want to get on your good side, but most of them started following you after." I was confused by every word that came out of her mouth.
"O? OG's? After? After what?" I asked, my brows furrowed in confusion.
"Well after Harry talked about you in his interview and after he followed you, of course."
"Oh." I was still very confused by the things she was saying.
"But I was an OG. Your niece is so cute. I hope we get to see more videos. Would it be okay if I took a picture with you and got your autograph." What was happening?
"I guess. Yes, that's fine," I said smiling. She was very enthusiastic and very energetic. "How long have you guys been out here?" I asked as I signed the paper she handed me. My signature looked awful and if this was going to happen more often I was going to need to work on it.
"Some of us longer than others. I think the longest person has been here since yesterday." I handed her back her paper and pen.
"Wow. All for Harry?" It was all very mind-blowing.
"I mean this isn't the craziest people have done, but yeah this is usually how it goes." I shook my head. I wasn't sure if they were all crazy or if they were geniuses. I came close to her wrapping my arm around her shoulders and smiling as she took the picture.
"Thank you," she said.
"Your welcome," I said back as I felt Harry's hand enter mine again.
"Alright, guys. This is goodnight. They will be going in now. I suggest you all go home and sleep but I'm not your father and you can all do as you please. But please be kind and do not disturb any other guests at the hotel if you do stay. Thank you," George said as he came up behind us with my bag, ushering us into the hotel. He was very strict but so kind while doing it.
"Thanks for everything George. I will take it from here. We'll see you in the morning. Goodnight," Harry said. We made it into the hotel and Harry reached over and grabbed my bag from George.
"Goodnight George. Thank you. Sleep well," I said with a smile.
"Goodnight. Harry, DJ." George nodded in our direction and headed off in the opposite direction. Leaving Harry and I standing in the lobby. I looked back to the doors and everyone was still out there. Staring right back at us. I pushed any uncomfortable feelings I had aside and tried to act as normal as possible. I turned my head back to Harry and he was watching me with a smile. He seemed happy. It caused me to smile. I liked seeing him happy.
"Ready?" He asked beginning to move backward.
"Here let me take that." I leaned over trying to take my bag from him but he moved it out of my reach.
"Not a chance," he said with a chuckle. "But you can take this."
"What?" I asked, a little confused.
"This," he said holding his hand out to me. I rolled my eyes at him but took his hand in mine. He turned to lead us towards the elevators. When the doors opened we stepped in and Harry pressed the button. I wasn't sure what the plan was. Was I staying in the same room as him? He hadn't said anything and I started to panic thinking about it. I still didn't know what this was and I wasn't necessarily ready for that. Even if nothing happened. I wasn't ready to even sleep in the same room as someone else let alone the same bed. I swallowed the lump in my throat down, feeling like I was going to choke.
The elevator dinged as we reached the top floor and the doors opened. He began to drag me down the hall and I could feel the sweat building on my body. He stopped in front of a door and put the key in the door. So I was staying with him. My heart began to beat faster. I felt like I couldn't breathe. He held the door open for me and I walked in but he didn't follow.
"This is your room and I'm right across the hall," he said pointing to the door right behind him. "If you need anything, call me, or just come over. I mean it. Anything." I nodded in response, feeling my body calm down from its overdramatic fit. He set my bag inside by the door and put the room key on top.
"Thank you, Harry." I was so grateful to him. I was so glad he was in my life and becoming such a big part of it. He felt like the missing piece I was always missing.
"Seriously, anytime. I meant it before. Anything. Anytime. I believe in you, DJ. I am here. "
"I believe you. Goodnight, Harry," I said. A smile on my face. As much as I didn't want to leave his presence I was exhausted.
"Goodnight, DJ. I'll see you in the morning. Would you like to meet me for breakfast at eight?"
"Sounds good." He nodded his head with a smile. Reaching his hand up to give me a small wave, much like I did to him the night before. I brought my hand up waving back as he shut my door.
I took a deep breath, grabbing my bag and throwing it on my bed. I grabbed out a baggy shirt and a pair of spandex shorts and walked to the bathroom. I took a quick shower allowing the stress from my panic attack, to wash away. If this was going to go anywhere I needed to learn how to get over my past. I wasn't sure how to work past it but I hoped when the time was right I would be able to push through it.
***
I looked over to the clock on the side table. It read three-thirty. I was tossing and turning for hours, trying to fall asleep. I was exhausted but couldn't shut my mind off long enough to fall asleep. I wasn't sure what I was doing as I reached over for my phone. I typed out a message to Harry asking him if he was awake. I thought about deleting it and just suffering until I fell asleep but instead my finger hit send without consulting my brain. I tossed my phone back on the table. Seriously? Of course, he is asleep you ninny, I thought to myself as I tossed my head back on my pillow.
After a few seconds, there was a soft knock on my door. I got up, answering it, quickly. I knew who was behind it and I felt bad for waking him up.
"DJ, is everything okay?" He asked as I opened the door, looking me up and down. I forgot what I was wearing and quickly hid my body behind the door.
"Yes, I'm sorry to wake you. I just couldn't sleep. I wasn't thinking before I sent it. I'm sorry, go back to bed. I will see you in a few hours." I started to close the door but he put his hand on it stopping it.
"No. I wasn't asleep. I couldn't sleep either actually. Your text was a welcome distraction. Can I come in?" I was nervous to open the door, but I did it anyway. And Harry took two steps into the room past me. I took my time closing the door trying to control my breath. "You okay?" I clicked the door into place and turned towards Harry.
"Yep. All good," I said moving to stand on the other side of the room from him. I wasn't sure if I was reassuring him or myself.
"Don't lie to me." He moved to the opposite wall from me, noticing the distance I put between us. "I can tell something is wrong. What is going through your head right now? This is me prying." I remembered me telling him to pry otherwise I wouldn't talk. This meant I had to say it no matter the consequences.
"It's just. Just that I've never done this," I said turning my head from him.
"What? Have friends?" He asked taking one step from his wall but stopping before his next.
"If that is what this is, then yeah kind of," I said. knowing now that this was confirmed. We were friends. It was better that way. I was barely ready for friends, I wasn't sure how I could handle a relationship.
"Why?" Harry asked taking one more step forward and I gulped.
"I don't know, people kind of scare me."
"People don't scare you. Do you see the way you act around them? That girl tonight. You were so good with her. I was surprised. You were perfect." He moved another step forward.
"I'm just good at hiding it, maybe. No, I don't know. Maybe it is more of, I'm scared to have people close to me. When people are close, that is when I get hurt." Every time he said something he moved closer and now he was only a few steps from me and I couldn't move any further away.
"Do I scare you?" He asked just one step away.
"A little, yes," I said honestly. With that, he took a step back, a look of disappointment on his face. I did the first thing that came to my brain. I grabbed his arm and held him in place. "Not like that. I feel comfortable around you. Different than I have ever felt around anyone. I can see who I am around you and who I can be with you and that scares me. I am scared that I will fall, and fall hard, and might not be able to get back up from that. I have a past, that has ruined my future and I am feeling so many things at once. I'm terrified if I let you in fully that that will scare you off, and I'm not ready to let you go. I'm terrified to even be saying these things to you right now. I don't want to mess up anything at this moment. I feel like it will all be for nothing." The tears began to fall from my eyes and I couldn't control them anymore. I ripped my chest open and showed him a little of what was in the inside. Harry moved his body to me, closing the space between us, and wrapping me up in his large arms. He held me. Rubbing my head as he just held me in silence.
"I'm not going anywhere. Don't tell me this is all for nothing. I'm a believer in everyone coming into our lives for a reason. No matter what happens, this was all meant to happen. I see everything you can be and I see the beauty that you can't see. I'll come for you if you just stay where you are. You do what you need to do and I will always find you and meet you the other half of the way." I felt ridiculous for crying in his arms but it felt good to finally tell him how I felt. To let someone in.
As Harry held me my breathing slowed and my tears began to stop. I pulled my arms out from where he had them pinned to my sides and I wrapped them around him. I wanted to hold him back. I was a mess and he was seeing that but I also needed him to know that I had his back as well.
"Thank you, Harry. I'm feeling better," I told him, my face on his chest. I wasn't letting go and neither was he.
"Good. So am I," he said. He finally released his arms from around me. I pulled back and smiled up at him.
"Want to sit with me for a while?" I asked and he nodded. I walked over to my bed and climbed on, resting my back against the headboard. Harry moved over and sat down at the end of the bed. After everything that just happened, I wanted him to sit closer but I wasn't going to pursue it. Instead, I just leaned over, lying down on my side and propping my head up with my elbow, and he followed my lead. "Why couldn't you sleep?" I asked. I just spilled my soul out to him and felt bad that he had to hold all of that in his hands. I wanted to hold something for him.
"A couple of things, I think. A big one being I'm missing home right now." I nodded. I knew what he meant. But I wasn't sure where my home was. It wasn't where I lived and I was desperately longing for it.
"Where is home?" I asked.
"That's the problem. I don't know. I have a lot of places I can go to live. Holmes Chapel, where I grew up, London, New York, and California are all options too. But they aren't home. I think it is true, what they say, home is where the heart is, and I'm not sure where mine is yet." I wanted to scream. He put words to what I was feeling.
"I know exactly what you mean. What was the other thing, keeping you awake?"
"Have you ever just felt so connected to someone, that somehow you are feeling everything they are going through. Like one minute your fine and then boom, nothing is fine. You start noticing every little thing about them and every little thing they are going through, and you just want to fix it all?" The lump from earlier rising into my throat again as he said the words. There was no way he was talking about me, right?
"Yeah?" Of course. I hadn't started feeling that way until a few days ago. With him. I felt like that is why things that used to be so hard for me, are getting so much easier now. He was my reason.
"Yeah," he said back. We sat in silence after that. Just staring at each other. Until I fell asleep.
***
My brain woke up to the sound of whispering, but I kept my eyes closed.
"Yeah, I wanted to let her sleep, she was up late. Yeah I know, she was amazing. No, I haven't looked yet. Is it bad?" I slowly opened my eyes, opening them only enough so that I could peer through my lashes and looked to where the voice came from. Harry was leaning on the desk in the room. His eyes fixed on me. I wasn't sure who he was talking to but I figured it was George since I hadn't met anyone else, yet. "Okay good. I'm going to let her sleep for a little bit longer. No, I just ordered food to her room. Yeah. Yes. I'll let you know when we are headed there." Harry pulled his phone from his ear placing it down on the desk never taking his eyes off of me. "You're awake aren't you?" He caught me. I threw my head back with a chuckle.
"How did you know?" I asked, bringing my now fully open eyes to his.
"Your breathing changed," he said casually. He knew the difference in my breathing from when I was asleep and when I wasn't?
"Oh. Did you get any sleep?" I asked sitting up in bed. There was a blanket covering me that I didn't remember having before I fell asleep. I moved the blanket off of me and stood off the bed, stretching my arms above my head. I felt good. Better than I have in a while.
"I did. I fell asleep, I think, shortly after you. I hope it was okay I stayed here." I was glad he was here. I think he was the only reason I slept last night.
"No, I am glad you did. I think you being here helped me sleep." My cheeks growing warm. I always said too much around him.
"Me too." I looked up to him. He was smiling. There was a knock on the door. "Are you hungry? I wanted you to sleep so I just ordered some stuff up to the room." He walked to the door opening and taking the food from room service. He brought the food in. There was way more than two people could eat and I just stared at it. "I wasn't sure what you liked so I ordered a few different things." I started laughing.
"I appreciate you." I didn't usually eat breakfast or in front of other people, but, like Harry always made me do, I was about to make an exception. There was fruit, eggs, bacon, and an arrangement of different muffins. I grabbed an apple and moved back to the bed. I began to slowly eat it, feeling very concise of every bite, I took. I was glad Harry was no longer looking at me. He was looking at something on his phone. Half smile half scowl on his face. "Everything okay?" I asked swallowing down a bite of the apple.
"Yes, just looking at some stuff my manager Jeff sent me. I was talking to him this morning when you woke up. I hope it's okay, but when you are ready, we have to head to the venue to prepare for the show tonight." I nodded my head. This would be my third show seeing him live and I was excited to watch him perform. He was always so happy out on stage. "Okay great. You eat and get ready. I'm going to head to my room and get ready, just come get me when you are ready to go, okay?"
"Yep." I was excited to see how everything worked when we went to the venue.
***
I knocked on Harry's door. After he left I got dressed in shorts and my "Adore You" shirt that Gabby insisted I get to match hers. I never really wore it but I thought it would be funny to wear today. I debated on wearing the jumpsuit but I decided against it, thinking it would just be weird at this point, but I did curl my hair and throw on the denim hat. It didn't take Harry long to open the door and when he did he looked me up and down.
"Nice shirt," he said with a chuckle.
"Shut up," I said back, bringing my arm up to slap his. He grabbed my hand in his, intertwining our fingers like yesterday, and shutting his door with the other hand.
"I'm serious. I like it. It matches Gabby's." I stared at him wide-eyed. "I remember from the picture on your phone."
"Oh yeah," I said shaking my head.
"But I did stalk you a little on social media. You're not very active," he said walking us to the elevators. I swallowed, trying to remember what I had on my Instagram. Past my latest post and Gabby's videos, I couldn't remember. Gabby's videos.
"No, not really. So you saw," I began.
"Gabby's videos? Yeah. I want to meet this child. She might be my favorite person," he said laughing.
"Trust me. The feeling is very mutual." I was glad he liked them.
"But seriously what is with her and fish? Why am I always going fishing?" I began to laugh. Gabby in every video found a way to talk about fish and every picture she seen of Harry he was usually going fishing.
"What can I say? She just really loves fish."
"Well, now I feel obliged to take her fishing."
"Please do. Her life would be made." That was something I wanted to see. My two favorite people spending time together. I wasn't sure if it would ever happen, but I hoped it did. We made it to the main level and stepped into the lobby. George was waiting for us. "Afternoon, George."
"Good afternoon Ms. DJ. You ready to go?" I looked up at Harry and nodded. I wasn't sure if I was ready to go back out in front of all those people, but I knew Harry had me, the proof was in my hand. George led the way out the front doors but no one was there.
"Where did they all go?" I asked Harry.
"To the venue, I assume," he said opening and holding the car door open for me. Oh. Duh. We rode silently hand in hand. As we pulled up to the venue I looked at all the people standing around it. Just a few days ago that was me. Standing in line waiting to see Harry, now I was holding his hand. George drove the car to the back of the venue into the loading area. As we stepped out of the car a tall man about Harry's height met us at the car. He was very handsome and seemed important enough.
"You must be DJ," he said holding his hand out to me. I took his in mine. "I'm Jeff. It's very nice to meet you. I've heard a lot about you." Oh, so this was Harry's manager.
"You have?" I asked looking up to Harry an eyebrow caulked.
"Yes. This one here doesn't know how to shut up," Jeff said with a laugh. I wasn't sure if he was joking or not.
"Jeffrey! Well, I'm going to learn how to now," Harry said as he smacked Jeff on the arm.
"Alright alright! Come on it's time for soundcheck. They are waiting for you." Jeff led us inside. "Backstage" was the same at this venue as it was the last one. I was assuming all venues were probably the same. Pretty generic. Jeff led us through some more doors and onto the arena floors. It was huge. Yes, the other ones were too but seeing it empty made it seem so much bigger. "DJ you can wait over here with me," Jeff said as Harry looked to me for reassurance that I would be fine with Jeff. I gave a nod. I just met Jeff but I already liked him. I knew I would be fine. Harry let go of my hand with a smile and headed to the stage.
I turned to Jeff who had moved to sit in one of the stadium seats. I moved closer to him and he patted the seat next to him. I sat down, feeling comfortable in his company. We sat watching for a few minutes when he finally turned to me.
"So DJ?"
"Yeah?" I peeled my eyes off Harry and turned to him.
"Don't break his heart, okay? I'm not about to step in the middle of anything, but I love Harry and he likes you a lot. I don't know what is going on and I don't know if he does either, right now, but I can tell he likes you. I can tell you like him too, but if you don't want this, then tell him now." I stared at Jeff. I didn't know what to say. He was worried about Harry getting his heartbroken and overall so did I. Yes I was worried I would too but I was more worried that Harry would get committed and realize he made a mistake.
"I won't. Intentionally anyways. I do like him, and that scares me a little bit. But I think we understand each other and that is enough. For right now anyway," I said.
"Okay good," Jeff said patting my leg. We both brought our attention back to Harry but I couldn't stop thinking about what Jeff said. I felt like Harry and I worked through a lot last night but there was still so much to go through that hasn't hit us yet. Like what was this and where was it going?
I was brought out of my thoughts as my phone began to go off. I looked down at it seeing a text from my sister-in-law. "Have you seen this?!?!" it read and there was an article attached. I clicked on the article and it brought up a tabloid. The Headline read "HARRY STYLES'S NEW GIRLFRIEND?" Below it was a picture of Harry and I hand in hand heading into the hotel. My jaw dropped but I continued to read.
DJ Crist (24) was seen last night, hand in hand, with Harry Styles, entering his Monterell hotel. It seemed to start last weekend when he posted a picture of a poster she had brought to his concert. He was then asked about her at a radio interview the next day. Shortly after he began following her on Instagram. Now they are inseparable. Is this a new girlfriend or just a short term hook up? What we know for now is there too could be hope for all you fangirls out there.
I mean the information they gave was true. But it was strange to be written about. How many people had seen this? Hundreds? Thousands? Millions? Everyone remotely into Harry now knew who I was if they didn't before.
"Don't listen to any of it. It's better to not just look at it," Jeff said. I looked at him.
"What?" I asked and he nodded towards my phone.
"Articles. Tabloids. It's all fluff. Better to not look. We all learn the hard way though."
"Oh. My sister sent it to me."
"Yeah, you should probably tell the people around you to not send you things. Trust me. Anything remotely bad, I will handle. You don't need to worry about it." I knew he was right and I would try not to overthink these things but I knew it would always be in the back of my mind.
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This part seriously took me days to write. I just wanted it to be good and it was stressing me out.
But it is what it is so here you go. I used a lot of song lyrics as inspiration here.
Wow.