October will soon come and that's the only thing on your mind right now, and the more you think of October coming the more anxious you get.
"I need to relax!" You say to yourself and take a deep breath and then sit on the chair and start to work.
As you were now working anxiety kept a check on you and now even if you had to work properly you don't think you can work anymore.
As the clock 'tics and tacks' your worry about October coming increases no matter how much you try to focus you just can't.
The time flies but your worry doesn't. As you realised that now your free to leave you immediately take out the car keys, and now all you want is some comfort from your childhood tiny friend Choi soomin.
"Manager!" Jimin calls you as you exit your room and he approaches you.
"Are you alright manager?" He asks and you can see his worry "I'm-" and soon you see the other six boys peeking from the glass window.
As they realised they're caught they come out from the room and stands there besides jimin and now you can read their minds, they're worried about you.
"I'm alright don't worry!" You smile and then jimin asks "you sure manager? I mean if you need someone to talk with I'm here." He says worriedly and jin interrupts him by saying "You mean us. We all are worried and are here for you Lee."
"Yes." Yoongi mumbles slowly, and they all nod their heads.
"Guys relax I'm really alright!" You show a sweet grin to them and they sigh in relief.
"Ok then manager kim, but we're always there alright!" Taehyung smiles and you nod.
"I know." You smile.
"Ok then noona, and thanks." Jungkook smiled and you ask him "what are you thanking me for mister jeon?"
"We all owe you a thanks actually." Hoseok smiles and now your more confused then anything. what are they thanking you for?
"But for what?" You ask them as you were quite confused.
"For showing us." Yoongi replies to your comment and they all again nod.
" Showing what?" You again question.
"For showing us who we are." Namjoon answers.
"You guys don't have to thank me, I should be the one thanking for trusting me and for worrying about me.." you smile feebly.
"People who cares will always look out for one another." Jin qoutes.
"True." You feebly smile and bid their 'goodbyes' and you drive back to your parent's house.
"Anyone who cares? I don't know how I feel about that sentence." You mumble to yourself and open the door.
"Soomin?" You call but you heard no response to your call, and then you sigh and put your bag on the table you found out a piece of paper.
"Hm? What is this?" You open the folded paper and you find out that soomin will be with her dad for today.
"She could've texted me or called me."
This house feels so weird without anyone, it almost feels like this four walls will eat you up alive.
"I don't really feel like eating anything.." you say to yourself and lay down on the couch in living room.
"I just want to close my eyes and hope that there will be no nightmares." You slowly mutter and close your eyes which are filled with exhaustion and anxiety.
"How will I save them? Aren't I too weak?" You say to yourself and you open your eyes and stare at the ceiling.
"I still can't believe the fact that I survived." You sigh "I can't believe I survived my parents."
And close your tired eyes, a sigh leaves your mouth. You were quite a bit disappointed that soomin wasn't there.
You didn't understand when the tiredness in your eyes made you asleep and then you suddenly woke up by your small digital phone making noise of notifications as you open your eyes you see the ceiling.
"Aish why the notifs?" You grunt and grab your broken phone in your hands and stare at the bright screen.
"11:34."
"Ok so what should I be doing now?" You slowly and lazyily got up from your comfortable couch and started walking to your room.
"Wait, wasn't Namjoon gonna broadcast a live?" You recall and look for that app in your phone and then you see that he's live.
"Oh! He's live!" Your face grew happy and you soon joined the live like millions of ARMYs did.
Even if you now personally know Kim Namjoon, that excitement of your idol coming live doesn't fade, and you lay down on the bed as you see the live.
Namjoon showed a small piece of paper with 'I Love Army.' written on it, and you smile as you look at your clumsy idol almost ending the live accidentally.
You too comment like millions of ARMYs did and you too wished him happy birthday as the clock strikes 12AM, He thanked all and smiled and showed his adorable dimples, he also said like the caring and considerate idol that he is that it's time to sleep, he says goodnight and thanks everyone for all the wishes and love and he doesn't forget to say a sweet and warm goodnight
And he ended the live.
"Ah wait I have his number I can just wish him and I can text him!" You excitedly go to texting app and as you were about to type a thought struckes you "Will doing this be alright?"
Even if you did texted taehyung the other day and stuff it still doesn't change the fact that is texting your idol alright or not, and even if you did what if he thinks low of you if you use emojies and stuff? Maybe you'll seem way to childish?
"Should I do it...?" You say I'm doubt to yourself.
"Maybe I'll just wish him when I see him at work tomorrow.." you slowly think to yourself.
After some time of thinking of any possible things happening you decided that you'll just personally wish him tomorrow.
"Maybe I'll just wish him when I see him at work tomorrow.." you slowly think, "Yeah it's better than embarrassing yourself Y/n!"
"Ok so..what now?"
"I'll just watch some Run BTS episodes!" You go to the app and then watch some Run BTS episodes, which made you forget about your anxiety and worries.
And as the bright light of the phone flashed on your face you blinked your eyes as they were getting closed and you don't want that.
But you ended up sleeping anyways.
"Great! I fall asleep!" You yelled in the familiar darkness of the dreams.
"So what kind of dream are I going to have? A monster killing me?" You said in annoyed tone.
And you closed your eyes and as you open them you see something you haven't seen in years a familiar place.
Tall buildings which are high in the sky, blue sky covered with white clouds and english advertisement boards around the buildings. It's not doubt that this place well developed.
"Wait, English sign boards.. and these areas are of-" you were interrupted by someone gently tapping your shoulder.
"Y/n! What happened to you?" A man with dark hair and glasses who was behind you tapped your shoulder.
"Namjoon!" You shrieked and he makes a confused face and looks at you.
"Y/n what happened? are you ok?" He asks and you Confusingly nodded.
"Mister namjoon, where are we?" You ask him and he makes more confused and surprised face and replies "we're in Brooklyn."
"Brooklyn?! Why are we here?" You asked and he says "to find hyung. You know that right?"
"Wait who hyung?" You ask and he replies "Jin-hyung."
"Why don't you remember anything..?" He asked hesitantly and you widen your eyes.
"Uh no! I just..." You didn't knew what to answer to him.
"Wait a minute.. Are you the dreaming Y/n? I mean Your the dream Y/n right?" He asks you doubtfully.
"Wait..what?! How do you know?!" You asked in bewilderment.
And suddenly everything seems blurry, you can't see Namjoon properly now and youu heard sweet female voice.
"Wake up Y/n!" And Soomin's voice wakes you up and you open your eyes and she laughs at you.
"Miss me?" She asks and you hug her tightly and you slowly mumble "I miss you unnie."
She chuckles and says "Y/n, you forget your older! " She giggles and you lift your head up.
"I didn't said anything and you didn't heard anything." You say embarrassingly and she giggles.
"Ok pabo." She cackles, and you smile at her sweet sight.
You come down from your room with Soomin and Mister Choi was down there and you immediately say, "Good morning!" You smile brightly and Mister Choi's waves at you and after breakfast with Soomin and Mister Choi you take the car keys and started the engine.
"So maybe some flowers will be alright?" You thought to yourself, as giving a gift wasn't the hard thing but what gift would be suitable in professional relationship?
You see a small flower shop and you stoped the car and bought some flowers and drove to the Bighit company.
And as you enter someone covers your mouth with their hand and all you didn't understand if you just got kidnapped in a full security company.
And then you see where you were, you see all the other members and the staff but except Namjoon and jungkook.
"What just happened?" You asked in surprised.
"Ah sorry about that manager but we planned this for him!" Jimin apologize and explains the plan.
"Wait so what are we gonna do? you ask and they all smirk and you make a Confused face.
And they tell you the plan and you smile brightly "That's a good one!" You said excitedly.
They giggle.
"Ok Jungkook just texted me they're near so let's take our positions!" Taehyung commands and you and all members and staff members nod.
"Someone switch off the lights!" Jin yells and a staff member closes the lights.
And now it was dark and you were excited and you were hiding with jhope.
"This is so exciting!" You slowly whisper.
"Yeah! I know right!" Hoseok smiles and shows his heart smile.
"I wish someone would do the same for me on my birthday.." you slowly mumbled.
"Manager when is your birthday?" He asks you but before you answer someone opens the door and you all jump and yell "Happy birthday!"
But it was Mister bang and he got surprised like nothing he almost jumped back on his back.
"What is going on?" He asks and before anyone says anything you heard jungkook's and namjoon's voice.
"Holy heck!" Mister bang yells as Jin drags him with his side.
"Sorry PD nim but I had to!" Jin apologies and then the staff member again turns off the lights.
"Hyung wait I know it's in the dance room!" You heard jungkook's voice getting closer.
" But jungkook how did you lost it? I mean it's the second thing you lost this morning!" You heard namjoon's voice and then suddenly the door gets open.
But no one moves and then jungkook yells from behind "Happy birth- what the hell where is everyone?"
"What?" As you all heard namjoon's 'what' you all jump and wish "Happy birthday!"
"Omg!" Namjoon yells in bewilderment.
"Hey Namjoon blow the candles!" Jin smiles and Jimin and taehyung brings the cake and everyone smiles brightly as Namjoon was about to blow the candles.
"The hell!" The blewed candles fall down near yoongi's legs and he just makes a done face and looks at Namjoon.
"Omg hyung I'm so sorry!" Namjoon apologizes and everyone burst down in laughter.
"Let's take a picture!" Taehyung says and you all gather up near eachother and jimin says "Taehyung take a selfie, you gotta get in too!" And taehyung takes a selfie and you all smile for the picture.
"Hey hyung, send me the pictures please!" Jungkook says to taehyung, and he nods.
"Can I see the pictures..?" You ask to taehyung and he smiles and shows you the pictures. You were standing next to Namjoon and Yoongi, jimin and jin and jungkook were together and hoseok was behind taehyung.
"It's so cute." You smile and taehyung says "Everyone looks so cute!" Yoongi just nudges Namjoon lightly and says "Kim Namjoon-" and you saw Namjoon getting a bit scared since he thought yoongi would scold him but yoongi says "Happy birthday.."
"Let's eat the cake!" Jin yells happily.
After some time as you all were eating the cake that Namjoon cut and you were eating and smiling at everyone's faces.
Then Namjoon approaches you and you wish again "Happy birthday!" You smiled and shows his cute dimples and smiles.
"Thank you manager." He smiles warmly.
"Manager!" Hoseok approaches you and you smile as he comes near you.
"Yes?" You ask.
"Manager what is your birthdate?" He asks and you let out a sigh.
"Oh yeah manager tel-" and before you say something Namjoon accidentally drops his cake on your shoes.
"Omg! I'm so sorry! I didn't meant to do that!" Namjoon apologizes and you say " Ah it's alright! Don't apologise!"
"Wait manager let me take you to the restroom." Namjoon Slowly mumbles and you say "No it's ok I will go!" But he insisted and you said Alright.
You both go to the restroom and Namjoon asks "Manager should I clean them?" And you immediately shake your head and say "No! I'll do it don't worry!" you take your shoes put and turn on the tap and washed them.
"I'm so sorry manager I ruined your shoes.." he apologized again.
"It's really alright!" You smile again.
"What PD nim said was so true." He smiled and you turned off the faucet.
"What do you mean was true?" You ask and he says "He said that you are perfect for being a manager."
"What he really said that?!" You asked in bewilderment.
"Yep, he said so, and it's true." Namjoon smiles.
"But I'm nothing special.." You slowly mumble and look at the reflection in mirror.
"Of course you are special manger!" He smiles.
"I don't see anything special in myself.." you say slowly.
"But I do, we do!" He says and you sigh "thanks." That's all you say and he immediately says "it's true! You have this spark!"
"What spark?" You ask and he gently smiles and shows his dimples.
"I know you were anxious the first time I saw you, but still in your eyes you had this flame! Like the passion which was beautiful." He says and you look at him.
"You had this some confidence even though you seemed scared and anxious you had something like 'no I have to get this job' kind of aura." He continues and you just look at him you didn't understand the words he just used to describe you was even you.
For you, you have always been a mistake, a mark of disgrace, spoilied brat.. these are the words that are used to describe you.
"I don't think so.." you slowly say.
"Why? Why do you feel like you can't? You can and you have! You can do anything if you believe in yourself." He smiles and you put back your shoes and they felt a bit wet but you can deal with the wet feeling.
"And I'm saying it from personal experience." He slowly mumbles.
"I don't know... Those words are used for me..for a American-korean kid like me, words were very different.." you said slowly and he looks at you for some moment and does a small oh.
"Manager is there any particular reason you don't stay in America? I mean just loving Korea doesn't seem like a proper answer." He slowly asks and you feebly smiled.
"M-My parents left me in Korea." You confess slowly.
"What?!" He asks and you can see the surprise in his eyes.
"Well forget it.." you say and started walking towards the place where a small party is going on.
"Manager wait!" You heard Namjoon's voice and he apologized one more time but you just smiled and other members asked you what took you so long but you just smiled.
Because now you feel like the only thing you can do is smiling.
The reason you hate October isn't that it was the time your parents came back to Korea, the reason you hate October is that they came exactly after your birthday even though they could come on your birthday.
You hate your birthdate and now as you saw the glimpse of your mom calling you like she use to "Kim y/n." You know they're going to come soon and then what will happen? Where will you live after they come back? What will happen?
This is the only thing on your mind.
October 14 the day your parents came back, that is the last day you will live in your old parents house.
"Manager!" You heard and quickly wiped the tear around your eyes.
And you smiled again.
October will come with your parents.
Now what will happen?
No one knows.
*******************************Author here! ☺️
I apologise for late update, I myself didn't expected to update this late. Due to some internet problems the update got delayed.
Also black lives matter, and we all are beautiful human beings. Let's not judge eachother and let's love eachother.
I hope everything stay strong and healthy through these tough times, and I hope everything will be soon over till that be strong everyone.
And well that's all I want to say see you next time! ❤️
Fighting!💜