Day One - Well... My first day of quarantine. Huh. I think I won't do too badly. After all, I have Dude, and he can talk, so it's not like I'm going to be lonely. I'd like for everyone else to be here, too, but I guess there's only so much that can go your way.
Day Two - I'm doing well with food supplies and hey, I've got plenty of toilet paper! So I think I'm doing well. However, there is the minor problem of finding where to let Dude go to the bathroom... I've been trying to teach him to go on the newspapers, but he declares that's demeaning...
Day Three - Okay, so Dude's really having problems. I've decided to try to teach him to go on the human toilet.
Day Four - Let's just say we aren't doing the human toilet idea anymore. It was not a good decision for two reasons. Number one, human toilets are too high for small dogs to reach well. Number two, human toilets are very, very, very slippery...
Day Five - So Dude's still mad about falling in the toilet yesterday. He's even madder because he had to actually get a bath. You wouldn't think it, but that dog can hold a serious grudge.
Day Six - Well, I woke up this morning and found poop. And I mean as soon as I opened my eyes, I found poop. Like poop was sitting there under the covers at the foot of my bed and I stuck my toes in it. And it was warm.
Day Seven - I didn't find any poop in my bed this morning, fortunately. I had a talk with Dude yesterday and maybe he's finally figured out that he doesn't need to be leaving presents everywhere. But there was poop in the bathroom. I must've not noticed it several days ago. I did step in it. But this time it was hard and crusty like a dry cookie.
Day Eight - He's peeing everywhere, and I think this is some kind of punishment for all of the times that I could have possibly wronged the dog. This is seriously starting to kill me, and I'm beginning to wish that I had gotten a cat instead.
Day Nine - I'm going to die in this sewage plant. My carpet is like a marsh and the bathroom is a warzone littered with landmines. But I'm not giving in. I'm a big boy and I can handle this.
Day Ten - Okay, I gave in. I completely gave in. I gathered Dude and his food and headed over to Evie's starter castle. My whole living area is covered in dog turds, and I just can't take it. When I got to Evie's place, I was super relieved to see that Jay had came, too. I was a little weirded out when I saw Evie practically smothering Mal with attention and her neediness, but it's all good. At least we're all together.