I don't see Chrissa in any of my first classes on Friday, but I hear... whispers in Trig. Apparently, she quit cheer captain yesterday at the football game- in front of everyone- and while the whole crowd was completely shocked, Christine walked out into the gym and the two of them made out.
In front of everyone.
I have no idea if this is true but if it is...
Well, I'd have to say that's pretty badass.
Though I can't help but feel a stab of confusion prickle at me. Is this really the best thing for her to do? Chrissa's devoted so much time and energy to cheerleading... at the end of the day she should keep doing what she loves.
Though, maybe she doesn't love it. Maybe Chrissa was just the cheerleading caption because that's what everyone expected of her. The tall, thin, popular girl dating the hottest guy in school, captain of almost all the sports teams... it made sense for her to be the head cheerleader. But, as I've been learning recently, people don't make sense.
I wish I could just ask Chrissa all this, honestly. But we're not really close enough for that. I think her crying in the bathroom was just a fluke, one brief moment where she actually let other people in, because since then she's seemed to be deliberately avoiding any topics aside from clothes and classes. She didn't even tell me that she was planning on quitting cheerleading. Or coming out in front of half the school.
But also... we've been friends for three days. I'm not exactly expecting her to spill her life story to me.
The first half of the day passes in a blur and soon I'm walking out of Trig to lunch, talking to Clair Bennet about our homework assignment. Clair and I aren't exactly close friends or anything, but she's nice- and actually cares about her grades, unlike half the people in this school (aka the Glendale kids, who can afford to buy their way into any college they want). It's definitely better than talking to the blank wall. I think speaking to inanimate objects would probably get me more stares than I would like.
"So, did you hear about Chrissa and Jase?" Clair asks, her voice hushed but excited, like she doesn't want to be caught gossiping- but like she's telling me the most important secret in the world.
News flash, Clair. It isn't a secret.
"Yeah..." I say, wondering how I can steer this conversation back to... other topics. I remember how Mayah and I used to be just like this- gossiping about Chrissa and Jase and their friend group behind their backs every day. Mayah was basically obsessed with any gossip concerning Chrissa for some reason- she was like my perpetual stream of knowledge on the subject. Back then, I loved gossiping with her too.
But it feels different now. Now that I know they're real people, not perfect cardboard cutouts. "Uh- I like your skirt," I say to Clair, pointing to the short denim miniskirt she's wearing.
"Thanks," Clair says with a smile. "It's from Urban Outfitters. It took me forever to find one in my size. The store only carried-"
But whatever Clair was about to say about Urban Outfitters' sizing is halted as she looks up at... something... her eyes widening to the size of quarters. I can practically see her recoil in surprise, the bottom of her hijab becoming slightly untucked as she abruptly stops walking. She doesn't even look away from the scene as she adjusts it.
"What is it?" I ask, my brows knitting together as I look at Clair, then, following her gaze, let my eyes travel down the hallway...
Oh. My. God.
Because walking into the school right now, the satisfied smirk on his face screaming 'player' even more than his black leather jacket-
Is Jase.
But that's not the shocking part.
It's the girl attached to his arm that makes me- and everyone in the hallway- stop what they're doing to look at. She's tall, with long legs and a Victoria's Secret Model physique that I could only dream of, and her sleek blonde hair gleams as it hits the light, seeming to move with her as she walks.
"What the hell is Seraphina Ross doing at our high school?" Clair asks. I just shake my head.
Seraphina Ross is the elitist of the elite in Glendale- practically our very own celebrity. Her father owns one of the largest coal mining companies in Virginia, and her aunt is Amelia Ross, an actual famous actress. Like, in Hollywood. She's maybe the richest girl in all of Virginia.
But everyone knows that Seraphina goes to boarding school... the Ainsworth Academy in DC, one of the best prep schools in the country. It's two hours away and she only comes home in the summer.
So what the hell is she doing here?
As Seraphina walks down the hallway, her arm still around Jase Turner, I have to fight the urge to step out of the way, flatten myself against a locker and stay the hell out of her and Jase's path, but... they're both just people. And I was here first.
Seraphina stops in front of me when she gets here, raising an eyebrow, her tall stature making me shrink back. My eyes catch on Jase, who on the surface looks bored and unamused, but he flashes me a quick 'what the hell are you doing' look.
If only I knew.
As Seraphina steps past me, her grey-blue eyes glinting like hardened steel, I feel a sharp pain- the edge of her stiletto digging into my foot. My vision swims on instinct, but I don't cry out- just let Clair grab my arm and pull me closer to the locker. "What were you thinking?" she hisses. "That's Seraphina Ross! She's practically on a different planet than us- when she walks, you get out of the way."
"Yeah- yeah, I was... not really thinking," I say, turning back to Clair.
"Well, that's for sure," she mutters. "Come on, let's go to lunch. We need to work on our Trig assignment- and so do Belle and Nolan. You should just eat with us."
"Oh, I would, but... Noah wants me to sit with him," I lie. It's not that I don't want to eat with Clair and her friends, in fact I'm sure they're all really sweet, but new people? Not my thing. And besides, after Noah's been driving me to school, taking me on dates... the least I can do is sit with him.
"You are not better at arm wrestling than me, there's no way!" Charlie says from across the table, throwing a piece of popcorn at Noah. "Sienna, who do you think is better at arm wrestling? It's me, right?"
I laugh, leaning further into Noah as I pretend to take a long pause and think about it. "You know, I'm sorry, but I think I'm going to have to go with my boyfriend on this one."
"You're probably just biased because the two of you are bang-" Cam starts to say, before his girlfriend Imani elbows him in the chest. "God, is sex all you ever think about?" She asks, wrinkling her nose.
"I mean you seem to like it," he teases, twisting some of her curly hair around his fingers.
"Will you two get a fucking room?" Charlie laughs, pretending to shove them. "God. Y'all are making me feel like a 5th wheel with all this coupleness."
Everyone laughs and Imani starts talking about some party this weekend- a party that I'm surely not invited to- and so I start to tune out the conversation. At least until I feel a tap on my shoulder and turn around to see Chrissa there, a smirk on her face that makes me slightly scared. She's wearing combat boots and ripped mom jeans, her black tube top and flannel confusing me. That is not usually Chrissa's style at all.
"Where have you been all morning?" I mutter to her, ignoring the stares from the entire table, especially Noah's. He knows what Chrissa's done to me... he must think I'm insane.
Which is entirely plausible.
"I'll tell you that in a minute, just come with me!" Chrissa says, grabbing my arm and pulling me up from the table. "I have a lot of news."
As we get up, I feel Noah's eyes linger on me, and I quickly mouth 'I'll explain later'- but his gaze isn't what catches my eye. It's Jase, all the way across the cafeteria, sitting with all of his jock friends, Seraphina Ross still on his arm like she's been glued there. Her hand reaches up, tugging on his hair playfully...
But it's me that he's looking at.
His gaze is dark, his blue eyes looking dark and stormy in the fluorescent lights, like the sky before a thunderstorm. And as his gaze goes from me and Noah to me and Chrissa, his scowl only intensifies. He's not saying it in words, but I can see it in his eyes: 'What the hell are you doing with her?'
I give him a flat, skeptical look, a 'you're one to talk' look. I mean, Chrissa Thompson is literally his ex-girlfriend. He can't exactly be telling me not to be friends with her.
Besides, Chrissa is different now.
But Jase's dark glare is still sending nervous chills through me.
Though maybe that's just because of how incredibly attractive he looks right now.
"Sienna, are you coming?" Chrissa asks. I realize I've been staring at Jase for too long and turn back to her, a flush filling my cheeks as I look down. "Y-yeah. Coming."
She gives me a weird look and practically pulls me out the door of the cafeteria.
I look back to give Jase one last glance... but he's turned away, looking at Seraphina.
"So. When exactly did the aliens come for your brain?" I ask Chrissa as soon as she stops walking and sits down in one of the ancient chairs by the large, sunny windows at the end of an otherwise bare hallway. The cafeteria is on the other side of the school- no one will be here right now.
"Ha. Ha. Hilarious," Chrissa says, rolling her eyes and scooting lower in her chair to kick me.
"Okay, but Chrissa, for real: what the hell caused your complete personality transplant?"
She sighs, looking down. "I... honestly am not sure. And I have no idea if this is all a mistake. It's partially what you said the other day, partially the fact that Janine invited Katie and Saoirse out Wednesday night... and didn't even ask me to come. I mean, she's clearly trying to replace me now that Jase and I are broken up... some friend, I guess," she says bitterly. "And... I think I was just tired of living a lie. Of pretending to be the perfect cheerleader and trying to threaten people and lie all the time so that no one would find out that I was..."
"...a real person?" I joke.
Chrissa rolls her eyes. "I was going to say 'hooking up with a girl,' but sure- that works."
"Well, I have to say, I thought everything you did was pretty brave- and pretty badass."
"Oh my god, did you just swear, Sienna? I should've caught that historic moment on camera..."
"What are you talking about?" I ask, a laugh escaping me. "I swear."
"Alright, whatever you say..." Chrissa snorts, rolling her eyes.
I think about Chrissa on the way to the movie theater. About the way she set aside all her fears, all of her friends and her popularity and everything safe... to go after what she really wanted. How I encouraged her to do this, to be bold and not care about what people think or staying in her comfort zone.
I don't want to be thinking about this, but some stupid part of my brain keeps calling me a hypocrite for the way I'm basically doing everything she's been brave enough to sever herself from.
But it's different with me, right? Because I like Noah. I swear, I really do. He's smart, and he's funny, and he'll clearly do anything for me. The two of us get along, and he's everything I've ever wanted on paper. He checks all of the boxes. So what if I don't get that crazy, wild feeling, the rush of adrenaline like all the rationality has been sucked out of me and I've been injected with liquid fire- around Noah? He's steady and he's nice and... and I don't even really want Jase anyways. Who cares if he's got smoldering blue eyes that could turn me to stone or a stupid single dimple that only comes out when he really, really smiles or he rakes his hand through his hair when he's stressed or the way his gaze makes me feel like I'm the only one in the universe.
But as I think about it all, as I run Jase through my brain and try to tell myself that I don't like him, I can't help but feel the sinking, terrifying truth- the fact that the one thing I promised myself wouldn't happen has come true:
I'm starting to fall for Jase Turner.
And I have no idea what the fuck to do about it.
"Hey." Noah comes up behind me, wearing a white t-shirt with a reddish flannel over the top, jeans, and a pair of slightly scuffed Timbs, the megawatt smile on his face enough to crush all of my thoughts about Jase. I certainly am not falling for him, I remind the stupid part of my brain before focusing back on Noah. He's the one I want.
The only one I want. There can be no part of me that secretly longs for Jase Turner- besides, it's not like it would even work out anyway. We argue too much, get on each other's nerves as often as we breathe. Hell, even being friends is too much for us to manage.
So instead of dwelling on someone I do not want to be dwelling on, I run up to Noah, throwing my arms around him and planting a light kiss on his mouth in a very overenthusiastic welcome. It still feels strange kissing him in public, so... coupley. Though I guess this is our second date. We're allowed to feel a little bit like boyfriend and girlfriend at this point.
"I guess you're excited then," Noah says as I take a step back, interlocking our fingers together. I don't feel any sort of big, grand... anything, but that's okay, right?
"I guess I am," I shrug, following him into the movie theater where we stand to get our popcorn. I want to order one of the soft pretzels that looks at me so tantalizing in the case, but I know Noah will insist on paying for my snacks and I don't want to make him pay any more of the ridiculous movie snack prices, so I just get a small popcorn, Rolos and a water (the one free drink the theater offers). As we stand in line so some girl with the most obnoxious valley girl accent I've ever heard can give us our popcorn, I can't help but notice something out of the corner of my eye.
Scratch that, someone. Two someones.
Jase and Seraphina.
God, what is going on? This theater's in Summer, so it's not as absolutely trash as the ones in Vernon, it's still not what I'd call glamorous. Seraphina and Jase both live in Glendale. They can go to any theater they want there... so why are they here?
Seraphina looks up, whispering something in Jase's ear with a seductive little giggle, making him lean down to look at her- but his eyes catch on me instead.
Oh god. Oh god. What do I do?
Quickly, so he doesn't think I've been staring at him as long as I have, I turn my head, standing on my tip toes and pressing my lips against Noah's, throwing my arms around him as we make out.
I don't pull away until I feel like I physically can't breathe, not bothering to look back at Jase. I won't give him that satisfaction. Instead, I just grin up at Noah, who's giving me a slightly quizzical look. "What exactly was that? Not that I didn't like it, obviously. It was just... unexpected."
"Like, your popcorn's getting so totally cold," I hear the nasally voice of the girl at the counter, saving me from having to explain to Noah what exactly just happened. Mostly because I still don't entirely understand it myself. "Thanks!" I say, grabbing my bag and handing Noah his, making sure to sling my arm around him and giggle- in case Jase is still watching.
We barely make it through five minutes of the previews before my heart sinks and I see Jase walk in, Seraphina still in tow. He gives me the briefest of glances before sitting directly across from us in the left aisle.
Damn it.
I very purposefully don't look at them, turning to Noah and whispering something about the hedgehog in the advertisement we're watching. It makes him laugh, and I feel a stab of victory- why, I don't know. Somehow, a date with my boyfriend has turned into a competition-
And I sure as hell don't want to lose.
Unfortunately, my whole not-staring-at-Jase thing doesn't seem to last too long, and I find myself looking over as his gaze catches on mine- the same darkness in his eyes that I saw earlier as he leans down, kissing Seraphina.
Which reallly shouldn't be bothering me. That's just who Jase is. He makes out with girls in movie theaters all the time. Plus, I just made out with Noah. Plus I don't even like him like that.
But yet, I can feel the jealousy radiating off of me.
Somehow the rest of the movie goes the same way. It's like a constant give and take- my hand rests on top of Noah's. I look over to see Jase wrapping his hands around Seraphina's dark hair. I pull Noah out of the theater, and when I return, the two of them are making out so obviously, I feel bad for anyone who's actually trying to watch the movie behind them. I usually love going to the theater, and I love Mission Impossible, but right now I barely even notice when Tom Cruise jumps out of a moving truck to detonate a bomb.
Thankfully, Seraphina and Jase leave the theater practically a second after the credits start rolling, because Noah realizing why I've been spending half the movie looking at the left and away from him would... not be great.
"You know, I had a really good time tonight," Noah says as we pull up to the house (I'm now officially refusing to call it Turner Mansion- it feels absolutely ridiculous) and he opens the door for me.
"I did too," I tell him, taking his hand and hopping down from the truck. "You're good to watch Mission Impossible with, I guess."
"Well, we'll just have to watch it again together soon, I guess," he grins, stepping closer. "Can I text you when I get home?"
"Of course," I say, a grin on my face as I lean in, he leans in, and...
"AAAAH!"
I'm not aware of making that scream, so shrill that I feel like the glass windows would be broken, but it sure as hell isn't Noah, though he looks practically as shocked as I feel as the water jets spray at us, the front lights suddenly turned on so that golden light spills all over us. I quickly take Noah's hand and sprint out of the way of the water and over to the porch- though I practically stop in my tracks as Jase opens the door, his expression nonchalant. "Oops."
"What the hell?" I ask, looking down at my drenched outfit. "You just got us soaked- what is wrong with you?"
"Uh- Sienna, I think I should go," Noah says, a little hint of nervousness in his voice, likely from the frickin death stare that Jase is giving him. "I'll see you on Monday, alright?"
"Y-yeah," I answer quickly, not even turning to face him. I feel too guilty right now. "I had a really great time tonight."
I walk forwards towards the door as I hear the sound of Noah's truck starting behind me. Jase just walks back inside, though he holds the door out for me. So at least there's that.
"I- I can't fucking believe you! What is your problem? First, you're practically following me in the movie theater with Seraphina Ross, and now you're-"
"It was an accident," he says coolly, not bothering to look at me.
"Bullshit. It was certainly not an accident. But whatever- I'm done here. Goodnight," I say, slamming the door shut behind me and walking all the way upstairs to my room.
But as I lie down with my creepy little cherubs, I can't help but feel the anger searing through me, making tears prick my eyes. And somehow, it isn't even anger at Jase. Maybe it really was an accident- who knows. No, the person I'm angry at is myself, for swearing I'd never fall for Jase Turner and doing just that- for trying to make him jealous by basically using Noah. The perfect guy. Someone most girls would kill to have as a boyfriend.
And maybe I would've. I mean, I really do like him. Maybe if there had been no Jase in the picture, I could have really given Noah a chance. Maybe he would be the one that I can't get off my mind.
But it's becoming increasingly clear that my heart lies somewhere else, to be specific- with a dark-haired boy with eyes as electric as the way he makes me feel.
And Noah doesn't deserve to be anyone's second choice.
A/N: Hey guys! Thanks for reading the 30th chapter of LWTBB- honestly, it's INSANE that I've written this much, to be honest. I have over a hundred pages in my google doc, it's wild- and it takes practically forever to load!
I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, some of it was a little filler, I know- but I'm setting up the stage for some very iMporTaNt eVenTs to come (I really need to stop spoiling my own book- someone help me).
Also, what did you think about how Sienna acted on her date with Noah? Is it a sure sign that the two of them are about to call it quits, or do you think she's going to change her mind and stay with Noah for a bit longer? And what do you all think about Seraphina- I know we didn't exactly get to delve into her personality yet, but do you have any predictions for how she's going to act later on?
Thank you all so much for reading and please lmk if you liked it! Have a great week 💕
-Lemon Zest