5 days that you would just stare at nothing, never really listening to any of my stories. Your mind so far away that even if I sat beside you it's as if I was never there.
A week and you were pushing me far away. Telling me your alright. That you were just tired. That you just wanted time for your self.
And as usual I smile and let you be. I never asked I just told you everything will be alright. And if you need me I'll be here. Waiting.
My whole life was spent waiting on you.
But that is the sad truth isn't it. You never really needed me.
12 days and you were getting out late and later by the nights. Living me alone with my home-cooked dinners that were never eaten.
Meals that you said I shouldnt have bothered to do because you'll never make it.
2 weeks and you were never home. I called but you said you were busy. And i said 'ok I understand. Take care of your self.'
For these past to weeks I choose to ignore the changes. But everytime I cry myself to sleep and look up in the mirror.
All I see is a miserable man. Waiting. Always waiting. Never for himself. But always for you.
This familliar pain. I can't say I'll get used to it anymore. Because when I look in the mirror, I can't even recognize the man who is stared back.
To you, who causes my tears, i slowly came to hate that I love you,
Why you sad? I don't know. I don't know
Smile, say 'I love you'
Look at me, even I gave up on myself
Even you can't understand me
You say I'm unfamiliar, changed into the one you used to like
You say I'm not myself which you knew well
No? What do you mean no. I'm blind
Love? What the heck is love. It's all fake love
Loving you
Park Jimin