𝐪𝐮𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐞 » 𝐳.𝐬.

By mochaharry

274K 14.9K 15.8K

[social media ❦ crack fic] zayn randomly decides to prank text his number neighbor during quarantine because... More

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6K 320 466
By mochaharry

Zayn
Good morning Harry 🌷


Harry
It's the afternoon Zayn. 😂


Zayn
Good afternoon then smarty pants.


Harry
Did you just wake up?


Zayn
Yeah. I didn't go to bed until almost 6 am.


Harry
Wow. I was just waking up around then.


Zayn
Why tf were you awake at 6 am?


Harry
I like to go for a run every morning.
It's getting a little annoying having to
wear a mask while running though.


Zayn
That's insane.


Zayn
You're probably one of those people
who eat avocado toast every day
and makes their own iced coffee.


Harry
Hey! Avocado toast is delicious and making
my own iced coffee is very cost effective!


Zayn
Oh my God. I was right?!


Harry
...Yes. 😶


Zayn
You're ridiculous.


Harry
I may be ridiculous but at least I eat
well and I'm financially stable.


Zayn
If I didn't know any better, I'd
say this was your tinder profile.


Harry
Please. I would never use tinder.


Zayn
What's wrong with it??


Harry
It's a hook-up app. At least that's what I've
heard. I have no interest in that anymore.


Zayn
I forgot you haven't had sex in a year.


Harry
Why did you have to bring that up?


Zayn
Because it made everything make sense!


Harry
You're weird.


Zayn
Says the 41 year old virgin.


Harry
I am nowhere near 41 years old yet!


Zayn
Sounds like something a 39 year old would say..


Harry
😐


Zayn
Are you 39 Harry?


Harry
Absolutely not.


Zayn
Hm... can you give me a range then?


Harry
Of my age?


Zayn
Yeah.


Harry
I'm between 1 and 100 years old.


Zayn
Bruh. 🤦🏻‍♀️


Harry
What? You asked for a range, that's a range.


Zayn
Can I have a smaller range? Like 10 years.


Harry
Fine. I'm between 25-35 years old.


Zayn
So you're older than me?


Zayn
Actually, I'm not surprised.
You text like a grandpa.


Harry
Wow. I take offense to that.


Zayn
Sorry. Truth hurts, darling.


Harry
What did you even want the range for?


Zayn
So I can guess.


Harry
Are you going to guess?


Zayn
All in due time, love.


Harry
Right. Well you think on that.
I have to go take a shower.


Zayn
Why can't I come with? 🥺


Harry
Zayn. 🙈


Zayn
What? Was that too perverted for you?


Harry
A little.


Zayn
Fine. I'll let you shower.


Harry
Thank you.


Zayn
I expect a selfie afterwards though. 😌


Harry
That's absolutely NOT happening.


Zayn
A man can dream. 😔


Harry
Omg. Goodbye, Zayn.


Zayn
Have fun Harry 😘

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