E M I L I A N O
I took deep calming breaths as I sat on my office floor.
I took the letter out and slowly read it again.
Dear Milio
If you are reading this then it means my plan really did fail, like I thought it would. I'm sorry I dragged you with me through it all because I was too much of a coward to do it alone. I wrote you this letter because I want you to know that whatever happens in the future, it is my choice. If I die it because I choose to die even if its you father who kills me, don't blame him please.
The truth is that I have stage 4 heart cancer and its beyond repair. Your father begged me to at least try, but I don't want to suffer in my last moments. I have accepted it, but he hasn't and I don't think he ever will. He hates me now. He hates me because I only have a week left before my heart fails and I refuse to do anything about it.
He is a bad man Emiliano. You of all people know he is, but I want you to forgive him because you and I both know that he has always loved his family. Even so, he'll kill me for trying to leave him. It's the law of the mafia. the only way out is death and I knew what I signed up for when I took my oath in blood.
I love you. I love your sister. And I love your father, but in the end I don't want to suffer by the fate God chose for me. I am a coward, but I hope you understand.
Your father was going to force me to have a procedure done. That's why I'm going to try to run. But if I don't make it I want him to kill me and make it quick. This is what I wanted. Please don't blame him. You know how stubborn I can be and please try and understand why I chose what I did in the end.
I know no matter what I'm going to die anyways. I can only selfishly pray that it's by your father hand.
love,
Mama.
I didn't want to believe that my mother would do that. That she wanted to die. That she had cancer. I just didn't want to. It was so easy blaming my father.
I sighed and rubbed my hands over my face, making a mental note to visit my family house first thing tomorrow after the appointment with Dr Tobias.
I sighed and unlocked my office door, walking around looking for Alessandra.
I hope she isn't mad at me.
I looked and looked and couldn't find her. Eventually i saw Diego on the couch talking to someone on the phone. I didn't even bother waiting for him to finish with his conversation because I was anxious and worried that Alessandra had left somewhere.
"Diego. Do you know where Alessandra is?"
He said just kept quiet and handed me his phone before running out of the room. What the fuck?
"Alessandra. Where are you?" I demanded. There was a brief pause before I heard her voice.
"Emiliano." I could hear how breathless she was just from the sound of my voice and fuck me if it didn't turn me on.
"I'm at my father's house...you can come get me if you want. Maybe you can even meet him" she said. I heard the sound of a door closing in the background and new she had just gotten out of the car.
I thought about for a few minutes before deciding.
"Okay. I'll be there in 15 minutes".
And with that I hung up and when to go get my leg patched up.
*time skip to Sullivan's office*
"What are your intentions with my daughter?" Sullivan asked me his playful pretense now gone.
"I'm going to marry her and have 7 children." I said honestly not beating around the bush.
Sullivan's eyebrows shot up into his receding hairline. His mouth going wide with shock.
"S-seven? Are you insane?" Sullivan said full on laughing now. Once he finally calmed down he looked at me and saw how serious I actually was. He let out a small chuckle. "Well good luck". He said still smiling.
"Does that count as your blessing?" I asked him only half joking about it.
He chuckled and nodded.his head. "Sure. Why not?" he joked as well.
The room feel silent as we both say deep in thought.
"You do now Alessandra is pregnant...right?" he asked.
"Yeah. It's mine." I said and his smile faltered a little.
"Oh okay. I guess that's good then" he said smiling again.
"Yeah. It is".
After we had finished talking I walked out and onto the balcony deciding to phone my father, not caring that it was already 11 at night.
After 2 rings he picked up. And I could hear by his voice he wasn't even half a sleep.
"Hello"
"Father" I greeted, trying my best not to sound too cold.
"Emiliano... What can I do for you?" he asked. I sighed not even sure why I phoned him.
"I- I don't know." I said suddenly feeling very confused. "I don't know why I phoned you".
There was a brief silence and I suddenly knew what I wanted to ask.
"How do I know that really her letter? How do I know you didn't have a professional write it?" I asked him.
He sighed frustratedly and I could practically here him massaging his forehead in irritation.
"Emiliano. You know that's your mother's letter. Whether you choose to believe it or not is up to you." he said before hanging up.
I stared down at my phone and sighed. I knew it was true. I walked back inside but I couldn't help but feel a little incomplete. Like there was something missing in this story...
I just couldn't let it go. I wanted to speak to my father.
I made a rash decision and quickly grabbed my car keys and drove to my fathers house for the second time that day.
When I arrived I all but ran up to my father's office. I didn't even knock as I pushed the door open and walked inside, closing it behind me.
"Emiliano? Why are you here now?" he asked obviously confused.
I sat down in the chair in front of his desk and sighed again.
"Why didn't Mama want to get help?" I asked him. It had been bugging me for the last few hours now. All the questions I had. Why did she choose to die? Why did my father have her killed? Why?
"She was very far gone when they found it, so far the chemo was her only option and the doctors had told us that even that might not work at this point. She saw how the keemo affected people, how even if it did work some people never came out the same. She didn't want to suffer like, she didn't want us to suffer like that.
It's what she wanted. She didn't want to have the procedure done but I refused to believe it, I pushed her and was going to force her to get it done so far that I didn't even let her have a few days to just relax and have fun. She died before she could really enjoy life fully. She didn't get to do a lot of things she always wanted to because of me. And that's my biggest regret. "
I nodded my head understanding where he was coming from. I tried to put myself in his shoes and imagine if it was Alessandra who had had the illness and not my mother. But the more I thought about the more I thought about how I wouldn't have cared about her opinion of the situation, even if it was a 5 % chance, I would have forced her to take it.
That may make me seem like a complete asshole but I don't really care, as long as there is a chance I would make sure she takes it, regardless of her feelings. I guess I'm even worst than my father... Or maybe not, afterall, he killed my mother. I would never kill Alessandra, ever.
I groaned as I felt a headache coming on. It was already the next day and I was beyond exhausted and a little overwhelmed from the day I had. My father seemed to notice too.
"Why don't you sleep here tonight and then you can leave in the morning. Your old room is the way that you left it" he offered and I could only nod my head in agreement before getting up and going to bed.
Another chapter gone and the story is almost over. 😭
I just want to say that I appreciate each and every single one of you who have stuck with my story for so long. I started this story last year November and it had come so far since then. I remember when I had just gotten 100k reads literally a few weeks ago. And now we're at 500k. I can't believe it.
Keep it up guys. I love it!
Love,
Tamara ❤️
Oh and PS.
None of you got my age right 😭.