T R I G G E R W A R N I N G:
This is A N G S T and is really fucking sad. Death is sad, mourning is sad and jesus I can't believe I thought of this
The next chap will be extra fluffy
Please don't burn me on a stake
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Peter POV
I skipped into the tower after school, Harley was supposed to be getting in today and I couldn't wait to see him. Yes. I, Peter Parker, had a mega crush on the southern boy. We have had many-a-adventures together, and I can't wait to have more.
"Heya Mr. Stark!" I exclaimed cheerfully as I walk into the lab.
"Hey kiddo, how was school?" He asked, setting down his screwdriver and looking up at me.
"It was...school," I said, setting my back pack down and leaning over the table. "When is Harley getting here?"
"Geeze, not even excited to see me anymore,"
"You didn't answer my question," I deadpan as I grab some M&Ms from the bowl on his desk.
He chuckled, rolling his eyes he checked his watch, then frowned slightly.
"His flight got in a half an hour ago. But he's probably stuck in traffic. You gonna confess to him this time?" Mr. Stark asked, changing the subject.
"W-what do you me-an?" I winced as my voice cracked in 'mean'.
"You gonna confess your undying love or are you just gonna leave the sexual tension between the two of you stay,"
"I didn't come down here just to be harassed," I pout, walking over to the couch and flopped down.
'I'll just watch vines for a few minutes until he gets here,'
But soon a few minutes turned into an hour.
Then two.
Then three.
"Tony!" Steve exclaim, out of breath, "you need to see this! Peter you should come too,"
I sprung up, running into the elevator and not being able to stop bouncing until we reached the penthouse.
My eyes widened as I rushed towards the TV. Because sitting in the screen, was Harley. He was bruised and cut up, his left eye was black and his lip was busted. He was chained to a chair in the center of a room with a masked man standing beside him.
"Oh my god Harley!!" I exclaim as I stop in front of the TV.
"Ahh, Peter Parker, just the man I wanted to see," the masked asshole spoke in a deep accent.
"What do you want?" Steve asked loudly. The bastard laughed.
"I do belive only Peter can give me what I want," he said, I furrowed my brow in confusion, "the list of soldiers,"
My eyes widened to the size of saucers.
"The what?" Bruce asked looking as confused as everyone else.
"The list of names. Back in the war, Hrydra had about a hundred super soldiers. They all managed to escape, but the brainwashing transferred to their kids," I explain without taking my eyes off of the screen. "Harley somehow found it in the hydra data base, it took us a year to erase all the names. We just finished a month ago,"
"But little Keener got careless, left a small trail, but it was big enough for us to follow. Sadly, he erased all the data before we could restore it but it did leave one name. Peter Parker, so we figured you must have been his partner in crime,"
The mask figure ran his fingers down Harleys cheek, but as soon as they got close to his mouth Harley snapped at them. The figure pulled his hand away and slapped Harley. Hard. I wince as I saw it happen.
"So," the man continues, "here's the deal. You give me the list, or I kill him. Your choice,"
"F.R.I.D.A.Y trace the call," Mr. Stark called out.
"I'm sorry boss," she replied immediately, "I'm focusing everything in fighting off his malware. I am unable to trace the call at this time,"
"Pete, don't do it-"
Harley was cut off by another slap.
"Hold your tongue before I cut it out, boy," the man hissed.
"Of course we'll do it," Sam said
"Ah, ah, I'm afraid I'll have to get confirmation from Peter first," the man tutted, looking at me expectingly.
"I-I can get you Spider-Man! You can experiment on him as much as you want! Just let him go," I'm practically begging at this point.
The man just laughed.
"Why would I trade one messily spider for over 500 super soldiers. I'm not interested in you," he sneered.
Oh god.
No.
Please.
I knew what I had to do. I knew it in my gut since I first entered the room. I want to give him that list, more than anything.... but Harley would never forgive me. If the transfer is genetic then that's at least 500 living people who have it, plus the lives of ever person they kill. The death toll would be in the thousands. Yet non of that would have mattered if Harley didn't give me those eyes. If he didn't look at me like that I would have forwarded him that stupid fucking list with a million dollars attached. But those damn pleading eyes, begging me to do what he knew the right thing was.
Which wasn't saving himself.
"Peter what are you waiting for! Go get the list!" Steve said, but I ignored him.
"Harley Keener," I stared at the screen, taking a step closer to the TV, "you are definitely a bastard. When we met two summers ago, you swept me off my feet. I was hoping those feeling would change but..
I feel tears starting to roll down my cheeks,
"They never did. In fact, they just grew stronger. Like the time we keyed F-Flashes car, o-or the time we p-pranked Clint. Remember w-with the skittles,"
Tears are streaming down my face at this point even as I wipe them away furiously.
"Peter what are you doing?"
It was Steve again, but I ignored him and continued.
"I want to save you. So much it fucking hurt Harley. So much, but you would never forgive me,"
I'm shaking at this point, my voice is shaking my knees, fucking everything, and I try and fail to keep it together.
"I love you. So. Fucking. Much. And I'm sorry it had to come out like this. I w-was hop-ing that maybe I c-ould work up the nerve to tell y-ou. I love you Harley Keener, and nothing will ever change that,"
Harley smiled and me and mouthed something that I couldn't quite make out
"So, you've come to a decision," the masked man asked, smiling.
Oh that smile wasn't going to last long.
I nod and swallow, feeling my dry throat in contrast to my tear soaked cheeks.
"I-I'm so-rry, I'm going to -have to d-," my throat restricts not wanting to finish the sentence, dreading the time when the sentence will be completed,
"de-cline y-our o-offe-r," tears are pouring down my face as I try to take in Harley for what I know will be that last time. There's not happy ending to this. There is no "Harley will come back."
I will never see him alive again.
"Peter what the fuck are you doing?!!" Steve roars.
The masked man tromps off camera.
"I'll wait for you Peter," Harley spoke loud enough to be heard over the rummaging.
The man stomped back towards Harley with a gun in hand.
"Thank you Darlin'"
The shot went off.
All I could to was stare, mouth agape at Harley. My beautiful Harley sat lifeless in that damn chair, with a small smile across his face as his head drooped forward. Blond hair concealing his beautiful eyes.
The TV turned off.
Third Person POV
Peters anguished scream was what brought everyone back to reality. The poor boy sank to his knees, hands brought up to cover his mouth has he sobbed uncontrollably. This was the hardest the unfortunate boy had ever cried in his life.
And that was saying something.
Natasha was the first one to make a move.
"Peter, Peter! Talk to me," She exclaimed, kneeling next to the crying boy.
"O-Он ушел, (H-he's gone,)" Peter wailed out, Natasha was surprised he spoke in Russian, though, it was his stress reliever so it mad sense.
Sorta.
"он ушел, и это моя вина! о боже, мать-паук, что я сделал! (He's gone, and it's all my fault! Oh god Mama Spider what have I done!),"
"Shhh" Natasha wrapped an arm around him, trying to comfort him, "Все будет хорошо, Питер, но пока плачь столько, сколько тебе нужно. (Everything will be fine Peter, but for now, cry as much as you need,)"
"Мама, я убил его. это моя вина. любовь всей моей жизни мертва, и я убил его, (Mama, I killed him. It's my fault. The love of my life is dead and I killed him,)"
Peter was starting to hyperventilate, choking on his own sobs and they raked through his chest.
"Ты заставил его гордиться, малыш паук. Он умер счастливой смертью, потому что ты спас тысячи. (You made him so proud, baby spider. He died happy because you saved thousands," Natasha rubber his shouldered soothingly as she grabbed out a tranquilizer dart from her belt and eased it into Peters arm.
"Он мертвая мама, я люблю его, и он ушел (he's dead mama, I love him and he's gone,)" his speech started to slur as the dart took effect, "mama I don't think I'll survive this one,"
"What the fuck was that!!!" Sam exclaimed angrily to Tony.
"Peter just saved thousands of lives!" Tony yelled back, he was still shook with grief, he saw Harley as a son. But he knew what Peter did was right, and that Harley truly never would have forgiven them if they had chosen to do otherwise.
"Tony he needs to get out of this tower." Steve said aproaching, "he basically just murdered Keener,"
"SHIT THE FUCK UP!" Tony yelled, he was fuming at this point. "Peter acted as best he could given the options he saved thousands of lives! Also did you not hear a single fucking word he said! This is harder on him than all of us combined. Hell he had to be take out by a fucking elephant tranq just so he wouldn't fucking choke oh his tears. Try to tell me to boot him again and you both will be homeless. Have you forgotten the fact that not only has he lost his parents, his uncle, and his aunt, but now the boy he was madly in love with. He made a selfless choice to listen to what Harley wanted. I wish he would have been selfish, I really do, because then keener would still be here, but Harley wanted to save a thousand people. And he fucking did. Anyone says anything to Peter about how he should have given up that god forsaken list you will be out of this tower and on the streets. Understood? Good, Nat take him to bed please, I need a drink,"
And with that Tony stormed off, leaving the fact that Harley Keener was dead, to slowly sink in.
~A Month Later~
It had been a month since the fateful day. Sure, no one talked bad to Peter directly, but he had heard enough through the walls to know that they didn't want him around.
The only ones who visited, where Wanda, Clint and Pedro, Natasha, Tony, and surprisingly Bucky.
Carol swung by once or twice to visit Peter too.
Other than that, everyone else avoided him like the plague. Steve and Sam told a messed up version and made Peter out to be a murder to anyone who would listen. Thor, the guardians, the wizards etc.
Peter just couldn't find it in himself to care. He had already cut out Ned and MJ from his life simply by not going to school anymore. He already had his GED so there was no reason for him to go. Spiderman had retired too, the day after it happened he went to the official twitter account and said he was done for personal reasons.
He hadn't bothered to look at the responses. He just sat in bed all day numb, looking through old photos of him and Harley together. He had Harleys hoodie, the one he gave him when they went for a walk that one time and peter had gotten cold.
"It looks better on you anyway darlin'"
Peter fought back tears as he hugged the hoodie tightly to his chest.
What he wouldn't give to hear Harley call him that again.
"Pete, hey buddy," Tony peaked his head into the door. "Have you decided if you're going to come. You don't have to if you're not ready,"
"No, they should hear it from me," Peter said, standing up. Today was the day of Harleys funeral. He was dreading it, dreading to have to tell Harleys mom that it was his fault. Having to look his sister in the eyes and explain why her brother died.
"Can you shower kiddo?" He asked tentatively again.
Peter simply nodded. The few who visited him where worried, he never ate, he always woke up screaming. He never cracked jokes anymore.
He was simply empty.
That's how Peter would describe it anyway.
After a quick shower the threw on a suit, all black. It showed how truly pale he was, the dark defined bags under his eyes stood out more than ever. The usually fright look in his eyes was pale and shown with two emotions, sadness and emptiness. He snagged Harleys hoodie, it was practically his comfort blanket by now, and walked out the doors to his room, he kept his head down as he made his way to the Quinn jet. The flight down there sucked. The redemption was even worse. Peter had been offered a change to speak; he turned it down. Steve, however made it a point to talk about how early Harley had passed and how it wasn't his time.
It made Peter want to die.
More than usual
"Excuse me ma'am's," Peter had finally worked up the nerve to go up to Harleys mom and sister "m-May I speak with you for a moment,"
The nodded and followed Peter to a semi-seculars area.
"I-I felt like I owe you and explanation, and please, express your anger however much you want,"
"What? Why would we ever be angry and you Honey?" Harleys mom asked, genuinely confused. She knew how and why Harley died, Peter made the best choice he could, why did he think they would be upset with him?
"It all my fault," he hugged Harleys hoodie close to him, "if I had just given him the damn paper he would still b-e here,"
At this point Peter was sobbing. Both Abby and Her mother realized that Peter loves Harley. Not even in the pastes tense, but currently. It made them realize how difficult it must have been for him to have did what he did. They both pulled him into a hug as he sobbed. Trying to comfort the poor boy.
"I'm so sorry," Peter attempt to dry his tears but to no avail. "I'm suppose to be comforting you,"
Harleys mom and sister both looked at eachother before dragging Peter into the house, navigating him trough the halls they deposited him into Harleys old room. It looked like he had just been in it, slightly messy but not too bad. It still have his smell and his vibe hanging around. Vibe is a weird word to describe it but for Peter, it worked.
"Get some sleep honey," Harleys mom spoke, "he would have wanted you to have his old room anyway. So make yourself at home,"
Peter, who felt overcome by emotions and exhaustion, simply nodded. Crawling him to bed of his former...lover? No, no they didn't even get proper 'I love yous' they weren't lovers.
Peter wrapped himself him Harleys comforter, he let he's tears spill freely as he cried himself to sleep.
~2 months after~
Peter had been staying with the Keeners, and honestly no body knew how much time Peter had left. Some days, he would come out and eat. Others, you could hear the gut wreanching sobs from down the hall. As everyone else slowly let themself's heal after the Charming boy's death, Peter just couldn't.
Everything in Harleys room looked the same. Peter couldn't bring himself to move anything, until one day he saw a black journal sitting on Harleys desk. It was in the same spot it was always in, except today it's like someone was urging him to look through it.
With shaky hands he picked up the journal and sat back into the bed. Opening it, his heart dropped to his stomach when he read the first row of words.
'Dear Peter,'
He closed his eyes and swallowed. Today he was going to read this. He could, if it was really from Harley....
He looked back down at the page
'Dear Peter,
Well darlin' if you're reading this something bad probably happened to me. Yeah I'm a moron, I left my fucking IP on while hacking hydra, it was for about 5 seconds but they've found me. I have so much I want to say to you but I'm too much of a coward to say it out loud so here it goes
I love you,'
Peter freezes slightly, tempering bac to the last time he saw Harley, he finally realized what Harley mouthed to him on that god damned fucking day.
'I love you,'
"You fucking bastard," Peter sniffled to himself, before starting to read again.
'I love you.
Like a stupid amount, the life and energy you exude just draws people in. I love you're unruly yet fluffy hair. I love your geougus brown eyes. I love your smile and the way your noes crinkles when you do. I love how sassy yet sweet you are. And most importantly I just love you, because your you. So please, never change.
If by some miracle you feel the same way about me I want you to move on. I want you to live a long happy life full of love.
Don't blame this on yourself Peter, you'll get through this, and I'm here with you, forever and always, I promise.
Signed with love,
Harley Keener.'
Peter couldn't control the flood of tear that escaped his eyes. Yet these ones felt different, instead of guilt these ones felt more like normal, grief and sadness.
Trembling, Peter pulled out his phone and dialed and number.
"Hey kiddo!" Tony picked up on the first ring, "are you ok? What's wrong-,"
He was cut off by Peter sniffling.
"I want," Peter let out a soft sob before continuing, "I want to get better. T-to live the life he would have wanted me to Mr. Stark.
I wanna come back to New York,"
~Epilogue ~
Peter held true to his word. He came back to New York, he got help, he started Spidermaning again, got back in touch with Ned and MJ.
He never loved another again however.
Of course life had its ups and downs, some days it would be like nothing ever happened. Other it felt like Peter would be gone any minute.
Peter Parker died at the age of thirty five, saving a little girl from a burning building.
The last thing he say before closing his eyes was Harley Keener, Reaching out to him with open arms, ready to embrace him again.
Peter passed with a smile on his face, finally being reunited with his lover.