Waahhh????!!!!!
A new chapter for Hate Me, Love Me??
Yee!! The words simply flowed outta me for this chap and hopefully you like it.
Are you guys enthralled by this nameless girl? The mysterious girl who kissed Mabel? Oh man, so am I and it just been the first chapter that we all met her. lolol
LOVE ALL MY NEW AND OLD FANS! MY BEAUTIFUL PADAWANS!!! <3 <3 <3
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Hate Me, Love Me:
Chapter Two: And all the Cigarette Ashes Fall Down
"Cleaning never suited you," I smirked, crossing my arms over my chest as I watched my brother picking up plastic cups from the living room floor and tossing them in the black trash bag.
He rolled his eyes, chuckling, as he continued to clean the living room. His light brown hair was messy and still a little damp from his early shower. Being my older brother, I never quite understood why girls fell for him. The way he wore those sleeveless band shirts revealing the myriads of tattoos on his arms and how those skinny jeans made him look more uncomfortable as those long, thin legs of his were hugged tightly didn't quite screamed at me 'Sexy!'. He was a lean, masculine man that took care of his baby sister from the heavy scene of drugs and alcohol yet he was the one who threw many parties back in the day and a few here and then.
But knowing me, he had no worry of drugs and alcohol entering my body since I locked myself in my bedroom everyday. Something I secretly wanted to break out of yet didn't. I saw Celeste and Shirley excitement in their eyes whenever they spoke about the weekend parties they went too. How they experienced things I wanted to do as well. How their first time of getting drunk was hardly memorable since they blacked out most of the time, how they both healed each other's hangovers, or just dancing with random guys. I wanted to live a life outside of my room but it would never happen. I was too shy and afraid of what the world would think once I've tried getting drunk or be seen dancing with strangers.
I chewed on my bottom lip, nervously, as Ivan continued to clean up the living room. I was mostly afraid of what my brother would think if he saw me coming through the front door slurring my words and tripping over my feet, drunk. I didn't want to disappoint him. We've went through so much and bringing disappointment was the last thing I wanted to do. Ivan wanted me to achieve and reach my goal as an editor. He reached his goal and build his skate shop from the ground up with his own money. Skateboarding was his passion while mine is reading.
"David told me he saw you out of your room."
I looked up and was met by his brown eyes scolding me yet held a twinge of amusement. "I, uh, was hungry and went to heat up the slices of pizza you left for me."
"So, I guess he was lying about you taking jello shots with him?"
I gave him a bland look, "Of course he was lying! You know I never had a sip of alcohol!"
Ivan smirked, tying the trash bag before tossing it near the wall, "I know. I'm your big brother, I gotta keep you away from that scene."
I nodded and went to the kitchen only to see a platter of fresh homemade pancakes, a glass of milk, and bacon. My stomach growled and served myself, knowing Ivan's food could never be resisted. My eyes slowly drifted to the window above the sink where it had the view of the backyard. Just seeing those evergreen trees brought the memory of that girl and...the kiss. The faint feeling of her soft lips against mine...
Just thinking about the kiss made my heart plummet to the floor when the image of her leaving without saying anything invaded my mind. Was it rejection? Was the kiss a mistake to her? Well, if you kissed the host of the party's little sister it might as well be a mistake since he's protective over her but why did the sudden rejection I got last night brought another crack to my heart? Was developing a crush on a girl I knew nothing of not even her name made it feel so heartbreaking and painful? Everything was new and since I know nothing of the 'love life'. I knew if I told Shirley or Celeste what I should do to rid this 'crush' they would interrogate me in telling them who this so called crush was.
But having a crush on a girl was normal, right? Did girls have crushes on the same gender? I understood the LGBT community were fighting their right to marry each other but in this town, I never met someone who had a crush on the same gender. What if liking this nameless girl was...wrong?
My brother's heavy footsteps snapped me out of my thoughts as he dragged four trashbags after him. He gave me a glance before slipping out of the back door for a few minutes to throw the bags away only to return with an exaggerating panting.
I rolled my eyes, drinking my milk.
"Sorry if the party was loud," he smirked, taking out a beer from the fridge.
"It was bearable. Anyway, who was the party for?"
Suddenly, his smirk vanished replaced by a thin line. His brown eyes hardened as he took a large gulp of his beer, leaning back against the counter. His body looked tensed and the way his eyes were glued on the wall across from him, he didn't want to talk about it. Did this person miss the party? Ivan was never the one to hold grudges so what made him look this way?
Before I could ask anything, he went to the sink and drained his beer as if he lost his thirst to drink it. "Like I said, Mabel, I gotta keep you away from that scene," and with that, he left the kitchen, leaving me dumbfounded.
.~.
"I'm not really in the mood for shopping, Shirley!" I whined, dragging my feet as I scowled at the town's plaza filled with outlets and restaurants.
Being Saturday, the plaza was filled with people who had the need to spend all their money on clothes, useless accessories, and only once to be worn shoes. Many teenagers from school flitted the stores mostly giggling girls who kept sneaking glances at a group of guys near the Ivan's skate shop. This group of guys hardly fitted in this scene and practically the whole town. These guys looked frighteningly intimidating with the way they were dressed to their tattoos inking their skin. All of them were bald; more skinheads in town. The tallest guy who was more muscular yet slim casually sat on the hood of an old Cadillac Classic, taking a long drag from his cigarette while the others waited patiently, their gazes stared intently at the people in the skate shop.
"What are you staring at?" Shirley's voice slithered into my ears.
My head snapped to her direction before I reverted my gaze back to the group of guys. "Have you seen them before?" I asked, nodding my head at the guys.
Shirley shrugged, carelessly, "I don't know. There's too many people to remember easily, Mabel. I don't have a photographic memory ya know."
I rolled my eyes and quickly followed her into a store where they mostly sold jewelry and accessories. Sadly, I wandered around the store, nothing catching my eye. But since Shirley called me in the morning insisting me to go with her shopping for 'school,' I had to go. Shirley would do anything to drag me out of my house and out of my room and make me suffer and this was my torture she loved to bring me: Shopping. But I was kind of thankful in a way she took me out of my house. Ivan still had that hard expression each time I saw him.
Short replies from him was strange and I didn't want to be stuck in a place where only an android who had little vocabulary would hardly look at me.
My eyes met jewelry once again and I frowned. When can we leave this place?, I thought, scanning the store for Shirley who was hypnotized by a pair of Hello Kitty earrings. I rolled my eyes, I was't a big fan of jewelry but the only thing I would always wear was my mother's necklace. It was a simple gold locket with a heart shaped ruby in the front and two small photos of my dad and mom inside. There was no questions asked why I wore it. Everyone in this town knew what happened to my parents. Two agonizing months of their sympathy towards Ivan and I. Something I don't want to go through again.
I glanced back at Shirley who's bright red hair stood out from the other girls in the customer line. She waved at me, a huge grin on her face as she showed me the Hello Kitty earrings and some bracelets. Her excitement for jewelry was overwhelming. To think I had a friend like her was confusing at times when we had nothing in common just the love for music.
To even have a friend was confusing...
I smiled back, my gaze drifting to the group of guys once again who now were laughing as a girl with a short leather skirt reaching mid thigh and a skull patterened blouse tried to balance herself on a skateboard. Her strawberry blonde curls framed her scarlet colored face which fumed with embarrassment and anger each time she stumbled and practically fell on the ground. She shouldn't be wearing a skirt if she wants to ride a skateboard, I thought as I continued to watch the beautiful, slimmed body girl get to her feet and begun to potrude her finger into the dark skinned guy who guffawed at her angry expression.
The other guys laughed with him as the tallest one I saw earlier sprinkled the cigarette ash on top of the girl's head, smirking cruelly. A shriek pierced through the crowded plaza making heads turn and every female begin to gossip. It seemed it got the strawberry blond haired girl's attention as she ran away, her face buried deep in her hands.
Pity washed through me as my gaze followed her into the parking lot where she disappeared. Why would guys be so cruel to girls? Especially that guy who sprinkled cigarette ash on the girl. Something inside of me burned with anger as I reverted my glare to the group of guys. They were still there, standing in their gloriness. Skinheads were no good. Ivan once told me to steer clear of them and bring no trouble to their way or else bad things would happen. If I didn't listen to him then American History X would show me what they could do.
"Ready to go?" Shirley's voice snapped back out of my thoughts as her face came into view.
She smiled, slipping on her new Hello Kitty earrings, her hazel eyes twinkled with excitement like a kid during Christmas morning.
"Yeah," I nodded, "I'm kinda hungry. Wanna go eat?"
She scrunched up her nose, having trouble putting in her earring in her left ear. "Yeah, let's go."
We slipped out of the store and as we walked to the food court, realization hit me: We had to pass by the skinheads.
Dread begun to crawl its fingers down my spine as my stiff body moved with each step. My palms became clammy and I fought the urge to fidget with them when I suddenly felt eyes burning my skin. I wanted to hide and shrivel up just to rid the fear that was slipping its way through my veins. With my heart pounding in my ears and Shirley oblivious to the skinheads watching us, I only hoped none of them tried to talk to us. Yes, Shirley got the attention from boys who made a move to talk to her. I would be the shadow of Shirley, watching them flirt with one another while I felt like a third wheel.
My head was bowed, my brown hair protecting me from their stares as it fell like a curtain, my gaze glued to the ground, watching my feet take a step at a time. The warmth from Shirley's presence sort of calmed me down a bit but not entirely. I still felt like I was in the middle of hungry lions stalking me in circles as their ravenous eyes watched me with a predatory look. I swallowed hard, wanting to walk faster but that would only bring attention towards us.
While my attention was on the ground, I didn't noticed the figure that stepped out of the skate shop and colliding into Shirley. A soft gasp was heard and bodies swarmed around Shirley and I. The smell of masculine, cigarette, and cologne swirled around me, smothering me tightly. Panic swallowed me as I tried to step away from the group of skinheads who were only a few feet away from a second ago and now seemed to trap me.
Shirley seemed loss for words as her whole body seemed frigid, her hazel gaze were drowned in the pools of orange flames and so was I. The beautiful girl stood there in all her pride and glory. An almost finished cigarette between her full lips made butterflies swarm in my stomach in gitters from the memory of last night. Black waves that once framed her heart shaped face was pulled back in a ponytail, revealing more of her high cheekbones and the tattoos inked on her neck were exposed to anyone who sees them.
She was dressed in a crewneck sweater with an unholy cross in the front, jeans that hugged her long, slender legs perfectly, and Adiddas. Everything black just like the pupils in those orange flames that still held those brick walls intact. With stories untold by them and secrets kept hidden deep inside, I felt stupid once again for letting myself show the pain and sorrow I've felt all these years. I suppose that kiss she gave me was something between the lines 'Something to keep you on your feet' and 'It would never happen again.'
I knew it would never happen again. Even if she spoke no words after that kiss and abruptly left, I knew she wanted to tell me that. I was Ivan's little sister. No one would mess with me knowing Ivan would beat the crap out of them if they do. So when those amber eyes that glowed with amusement trailed down Shirley's body ever so slowly, a smirk playing at her lips, I realized one thing: This girl was dangerous.
What made me think that wasn't the skinheads glaring at Shirley and standing quite protectively near the amber eyed girl but the way she stood there. An aura filled with danger and dark secrets screamed at me. As if she had a different side of her that could snap any minute. The girl I met last night in the back porch looked so fragile and those sad eyes made an impression on me that she was a troubled person with a haunting past but now... That girl was gone. Vanquished by this dark goddess.
"Sorry I wasn't looking," Shirley finally said after breaking from the trance of this nameless girl.
The girl's smirk was still plastered on her face, in fact, it seemed ti grew even more into cockiness. "All is well. My bones are still intact and my skin isn't scratched. I should be the one apologizing. I didn't see the beauty that was coming towards me."
The skinheads chuckled, a sound that was more vicious and threatening.
Those orange flames flickered to mine and for a split second, they widened as if she finally made my presence known to her. But just as quick as it happened, those eyes hardened except her smirk was gone.
"Hmph," she looked me over just like she did to Shirley but as those eyes found my gaze once again, I wished I never came here. "This feels like a scene of 'Beauty and the Beast' where we need to rescue Belle from the Beast, you guys."
The guys laughed and so did she.
Such cruelness in her vibrant eyes as her words speared through me, creating more scars on their own. I knew I wasn't beautiful like her and Shirley but an acceptable 'pretty' but now, I felt...disgusting. Ugly. Revolting. Just plain unattractive. There was no need to beautify myself when someone just told you you're not that great to look at. Was that the reason Shirley and Celeste befriended me? So they can at least make me look decent just by standing next to them?
Tears brimmed the corner of my eyes and I bowed my head, letting their laughter echo in my mind. I wanted to crawl into a ball and just cry. It was something that a girl should never hear. Somethng that could lower her self esteem quickly and be sent into the spirals of depression and possibly suicide.
That's why I didn't leave my room.
Because in this world, there are people who do anything to see you fall.
People like her...
I blinked back the tears and took a step back, not wanting to look into those eyes again. So, I turned around and left. I didn't bother to bring Shirley with me. I couldn't stand another second with her words echoing in my mind, clawing at my dignity.
To think I had a figment of a crush on her...
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Reader: WTF?! WHY WOULD SHE SAY THAT?! UGH!!!!
ME: *slowly walks away and jumps through the window and turns into a bat* muahaha!!!!
Why did the girl with amber eyes tell that to Mabel?
You'll find out next chapter for now, thx for reading my loves!!
TO ALL MY NEW FANS, THX FOR FANNING AND WELCOME TO MY ARMY OF PADAWANS! <3
VOTE. COMMENT. FAN. <3
Now, time for Jersey Shore!!! ;3