📍Sao Paulo, Brazil
1.5 million likes/36,788 comments
{sydeny.cross} I should be a professional photographer if the singing thing doesn't work out
harrystyles- its blurry, stick to your day job
lovelysyd- we have been blessed with this photo from our queen
liampayne- sick
fanaccount- you guys duet was so cute, no way you are not dating
hater- the photo is as blurry as your career
kathrine.scott- your job should be to come home, i miss you
36, 782 more comments...
As I waited in my dressing room for the show to be over, I was writing in my notebook thinking of some song lyrics. Writing has become so easy for me lately, because of all of my emotions. I had a bunch of phrases, but it was hard coming up with things that worked together.
As I continued to think of a something that would work with, wasted my emotions again, to dance again, I started to bop my head to the loud music that was coming from the stage. I usually was by the stage watching and encouraging Harry on, but I felt like I needed a break and I was a little behind on my music. When he first started his performance, I went down to the edge of the stage and took some photos, before forcing myself to get work done.
I huffed loudly as I still couldn't think of a matching lyric, so I reached for my phone and texted my song writing buddy, Mr. Louis Tomlinson. Me and Louis have been friends for forever, since the beginning of my career. He helped me write a ton of my songs and I couldn't be more grateful for that man. Last time I talked to Louis properly was before I joined the tour, which seems like forever ago.
When I told Louis about the amazing opportunity, he was super proud. I tried to talk to him about Harry, since they were friends for such a long time. He just told me that they were not as close anymore, which sucks. I made a mental note to get the two of them together again after tour. I felt a buzz next to me and reached for my phone and smiled lightly at the sassy reply I had received.
Syd: Heya! I need help
Doncaster Bud: course ya do, what can I do for you harry styles girlfriend
Syd: Ok first of all we are just friends and I need help on a lyric :/
Doncaster Bud: sureeee and hit me
I rolled my eyes at Louis response and continued to type a message, before I was interrupted by a knock on my dressing room door. "Come in!" I was surprised to see Jeff open the door. I quickly stood up and asked, "What can I do for you?"
Jeff gave me a quick smile before replying to my question, "Can you come to the stage for a minute?" I gave him a confused glance, before nodding slowly. "Sure, why though?" Jeff shrugged with an unconvincing glance and rushed out of my dressing room. What does he have planned?
I quickly picked up my phone and texted Louis back quickly, while putting away my notebook in my bag.
Syd: Actually let me have a rain check, I just got called in by Harrys manager.
Doncaster Bud: Oh shit, better go..what did you? Kissssss?
Syd: shut your sassy lips
Doncaster Bud: haha, have fun! chat me soon!
Syd: will do! :)
I laughed at me and Louis silly banter and left my room to the stage area. As I was walking towards the stage, I started to wonder a little more why I had to go. The show was still going on, so what would the need me for?
When I reached the end of the stage, I was quickly handed a mic, by one of the crew members. I was quite confused and I did not even have a chance to ask, before the crew member rushed off. I looked down at the mic and quietly whispered, "What the fuck?"
I looked up and started to search my surroundings for Jeff or Curtis. I was about to walk off and find one of them but stopped right in my spot when I heard a voice come from the stage. I turned around slowly to be making direct eye contact with the Harry.
I heard the crowd screaming loudly, while he kept the intense eye contact with me from the center of the stage. He gave me a cheeky smirk, before bring the microphone to his pink lips. I furrowed my eye brows and mouthed, what is going on?
He laughed lightly at me, before turning back to the crowd. As soon as he opened his mouth, more girly screams were heard from all over the arena. The affect this man has on people is still mind blowing to me. He could ask some of his fans to get on their knees and kiss his feet and they would. He was some of his fans world. He was slowly becoming mine.
"For my final song of the night, I would like to bring out a special guest." I crowd immediately started to scream louder out of anticipation of who he would bring out. My eyes quickly widened and I started to back up slightly. Oh hell no. Not going to happen. I do not even look stage ready.
I changed from my sparkly jumpsuit and I was just wearing grey sweats and a blue tank top. Also, if I messed up on the same stage as Harry fucking Styles I would be ridiculed on social media. I already got a more hate than usual, because of all the dating rumors with Harry, which were not technically rumors anymore. We still had not talked about what happened in Rio. After we kissed, we were interrupted by security and were immediately sent back to the hotel. I was so confused. We agreed to be friends, but then he sweet talks me and I am back under his spell. Well, to be fair I do not ever think I was out of his spell. It is not fair, whenever I am around him I automatically get butterflies. Well, not right. Right now I just want to choke him out. There is no way I would be able to step on that stage with Harry. Being on stage alone is different, cause I am just in my element and pretending it is just me in the whole arena. Being on stage with Harry is a lot of pressure with tons of girls videoing my performance waiting for me to mess up, yeah I'm good.
As I continued to back up as secretly as I could, I was stopped by a strong hold on my shoulder. I huffed dramatically to see Jeff smirking down at me. "Really? Do I have to?" Jeff shrugged, before removing his hand and whispering, "Harry is staring right at you, so to late." I sighed heavily before dragging my feet on to the stage. I heard Jeff's obnoxious laugh and as soon as I arrived on the stage my face turned bright red. I was so scared.
I was pleasantly surprised when I heard screams and some yelling that they loved me. I quickly waved at a girl in the front row, who kept calling my name, as I walked slowly towards Harry. Harry seemed to have noticed my apprehensive movements, cause he all of the sudden pulled me towards him, which caused more screams to fill the arena. Oh shit, cannot wait to see this all over twitter tomorrow morning.
Harry looked down at me and gave me another one of his signature smirks. I felt my cheeks flush more and out of embarrassment I playfully pushed him away. He quietly chuckled at my action, before addressing to the crowd and myself, "Here is Sign of Times with a little help from Sydney Cross."
The lights dimmed and Harry reached down and held my hand tightly. I immediately felt myself relax but I was still anxious. This could easily be my most important performance of my life. As the beautiful sounds of the song started to play, I heard Harrys equally as beautiful voice join the tune.
"Just stop your crying
It's a sign of the times
Welcome to the final show
Hope you're wearing your best clothes
You can't bribe the door on your way to the sky
You look pretty good down here
But you ain't really good."
I took a deep breathe, before bring the microphone up to my lips and joining Harry in the next lyrics of his song.
"If we never learn, we been here before
Why are we always stuck and running from
The bullets?
The bullets
We never learn, we been here before
Why are we always stuck and running from
The bullets?
The bullets."
As me and Harry sang the beautifully written song, I looked out at the crowd and say people swaying together and singing out at the lyrics. I closed my eyes and remember the performance, after me and Harrys emotional conversation. How things have changed.
"Just stop your crying
It's a sign of the times
We gotta get away from here
We gotta get away from here
Just stop your crying
It'll be alright
They told me that the end is near
We gotta get away from here."
Our relationship was obviously different and difficult to grasp. We were kind of together, ended it, became friends, and whatever we are now. It was hard to grasp and understand what we were. Things were so easy when it was just us, but when you look at the outside of it all, it becomes so difficult.
"Just stop your crying
Have the time of your life
Breaking through the atmosphere
And things are pretty good from here
Remember everything will be alright
We can meet again somewhere
Somewhere far away from here."
Everything was so difficult and there was so much we needed to talk about. I needed answers that have never been addressed, which would help both of us. The only thing I was certain about was how much love I had for this man. How much I wanted there to be an us.
"We never learn, we been here before
Why are we always stuck and running from
The bullets?
The bullets
We never learn, we been here before
Why are we always stuck and running from
The bullets?
The bullets."
I opened my eyes and looked next to me to see Harry still holding a strong grasp on my hand and singing beautifully out at the crowd. He must have felt my stare, because he slowly turned his head towards me and give me small smile, as he continued to sing. I sang along with him and I felt a small smile make its way on my face as well. I always felt so comfortable with him.
"Just stop your crying
It's a sign of the times
We gotta get away from here
We gotta get away from here
Stop your crying
Baby, it will be alright
They told me that the end is near
We gotta get away from here."
It felt like it was just us on the stage. No crowd. No band. No lurking managers. Just us. Just us enjoying our presence together. As I looked into Harrys eyes, I felt the admiration in his eyes, as he shared such a powerful song with me. I just hoped he could feel the love and admiration I had for him.
"We never learn, we been here before
Why are we always stuck and running from
The bullets?
The bullets
We never learn, we been here before
Why are we always stuck and running from
The bullets?
The bullets."
We continued to keep out eye contact we each other. As we stared at each other, I felt my heart beating rapidly in my chest and all I wanted to do was pounce on him and kiss his soft lips. I knew I couldn't though, not only where we in front of hundreds of people, but I could feel the stare of Curtis.
"We don't talk enough
We should open up
Before it's all too much
Will we ever learn?
We've been here before
It's just what we know."
I hoped we learned from each other and what we wanted from this. I wanted all of him and all I could hope that is what he wanted from me as well. As we continued to look at each other, I just hoped he could read my eyes and be able to tell what I wanted. I wanted him all. I wanted him to be mine. As much as I have been trying to deny it, that is what I have always wanted.
I felt Harrys hand loose contact with mine and he shook his head to the middle of the stage. I immediately knew what he meant. He wanted me to sing the last part. I took a deep breathe, before slowly stepping up to the middle of the stage, while continuing to sing the rest of the song.
"Stop your crying, baby
It's a sign of the times
We gotta get away
We got to get away
We got to get away
We got to get away
We got to get away."
As I sang the last verse, I felt my eyes start to tear up. This is what I wanted. All I wanted. To be able to stand proud of my job with the the man I love next to me and supporting me. When it was time for the high notes, I felt a presence behind me. I looked next to me to see Harry standing next to be smiling proudly at me. Aw, I loved this man.
"We got to, we got to (away)
We got to, we got to (away)
We got to, we got to (away)."
As we sang the high note together, we harmonized perfectly. Our voices fit perfectly together just like our hands fit together, when we held hands. Just like when after being intimate we each other and Harry would cuddle into my back, I would fit perfectly in his arms, while his long arms rested comfortably around my waist. We fit together perfectly.
After the song finished, I heard the loud cheers and cries of the audience, but all I could focus on was the gorgeous man standing in front of me. He looked down at me with biggest smile, I have ever seen on his perfectly sculptured face.
He quickly pulled me into a hug and as I rested my head on his shoulder, I felt him kiss the side of my neck and whisper away from the microphone, "Be mine."
I unattached myself from him and looked up at him to see small tears in his eyelids. I gave him the biggest smile and whispered back, "Always."
He was mine.
I quickly left the stage and and watched the man I love finish his show with the encore and all I could do is cherish this moment and watch my man proudly strut his stuff on the stage filled with people, who love him.
My man.
He was mine.
The man I loved was mine.
Sydneys Instagram Story:
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This took longer then it should have to write, but I am glad that I finished. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and things are really about to get good.... ;)
Also I changed the book cover, which I hope you guys like.
Remember to wash your hands and be safe! Things are crazy right now, but I hope you are all doing well and staying safe.
TREAT PEOPLE WITH KINDESS
-Lexie xx