Chris
Jasmine – Hope you made it home safely . 1:49 AM
- I just touched based a little while ago, I'm tucking my son in right now . 1:53 AM
Jasmine – I keep forgetting about little man, I'm the only one you haven't showed him off to yet . I bet he looks just like you . 1:55 AM
- He has my features but everything else is her, maybe the next time we link up I'll bring him too . 1:56 AM
Jasmine – I hope you do and listen next time you want to get a break from her call me or just come over, it doesn't matter what time I'll be here when you need somebody to talk to. 1:57 AM
- Thank you, I appreciate it . Try not to think about me too much tonight (; 1:59 AM
Jasmine – Lol, nah I should be saying the same to you ! 2:00 AM
- Whatever goodnight fool ! 2:02 AM
Jasmine – Goodnight ! :* 2:03 AM
"Daddy sorry he was late tonight and I'm sorry I have to leave you everyday home with your momma. Trust me I know how hard that can be." I laughed a little as I looked down at him sleeping. "Don't worry man daddy is going to make it up to you, we'll spend the entire day together just promise me you won't tell your mommy what you see. I'll never hear the end of it, sleep tight man if I'm lucky I can create you a brother or little sister in a few."
Ain't nobody fucking with my son. He's my everything anybody try to say one disrespectful thing about him I'm shutting shit down I don't give a fuck! I thought I knew what it was to love someone but when he came along I had no idea you could feel this way about one person, I love this little dude unconditionally. But I'm sure like every man thinks the same thing when their kid is born. I had a doubt that Mijo was mine. Nothing about him at the time screamed Chris, he had fucking blue eyes when he was born. I know damn well Brielle doesn't have that and neither does anybody in her family that I seen. So that leads me to believe she had to have fucked somebody else. But I couldn't bring that up to her, I looked past it and have no choice to, Mijo is mine and I love him.
The next morning I took Mijo to my mom house so Brielle and I can work some shit out. I know all the things she wants me to say but I can't because I know I won't be able to keep those promises to her. Brielle knows good and well I love her, I have a damn kid with her and in my own way I'm trying to make this work. But I need to work on my own time. It's a little difficult doing the friends with benefits shit since we have a child together. I don't want to tell her that I want something more out of this, because in the end I'm not sure if that's what I want. And I can't tell her that I don't want something more out of this because in the end I'm not sure if I want to let her go like that. It's difficult right now, so I don't know what I'm going to do.
"I was thinking that for like a week we leave Mijo at my moms house and you and I fly out somewhere." I said as she stood in the kitchen washing dishes.
"Somewhere like?"
"Anywhere you want to go."
"Nah, where ever I go Mijo goes." she said drying the plate.
"Brielle stop," I said aggravated.
"What am I doing?" she said reaching back down in the sink to clean a plate
I walked over to her and took the plate from her hands placing it back in the sink, then turning her body towards mine. "You don't have to be fucking superwoman everyday, you need to take a break. We don't have to fly out the country, just spend some time together without Mijo being glued to our hips for once."
"I don't know," she looked away from.
I turned her head back towards mine. "I know it's hard leaving him behind, how do you think I feel walking out the house everyday don't you think I miss our son too? We need time together, let's go out tonight."
She smiled as she bit her bottom lip. "What do you have in mind? And I don't want to go to no damn party, I only want to spend time with you." Brielle wrapped her arms me.
"You missed daddy didn't you?" I smiled.
She laughed. "Stop calling yourself that, your so damn wack."
I laughed as I licked my lips. "Go get dress, better yet let me help you."
She laughed as I picked her up into my arms "Put me down, that's how we ended up with Mijo in the first place."
"Nah, you needing some damn inspiration is how we got Mijo."
She wouldn't let me get some but that's aight, I'll just get some tonight. Brielle put on this slim black dress and I didn't do much with myself. I didn't want to do anything typical we can always eat out for dinner, if it's one thing I know about her she loves that poetry shit so I took her to spoken word joint. She was so into it and I was happy to make her happy, I know I haven't been doing a good job of it but it's all I can do. While we were there I encouraged her to go up on stage and flow something, it was no question that she wouldn't do it. But when I tried to get up there it was a different story, she said I ain't had enough balls or flow to but I proved that ass wrong. I'll admit it wasn't working for me tonight I don't know what the hell I was saying but everything was making her laugh damn near in tears so I was good with that at least.
"Please don't embarrass yourself like that anymore." Brielle laughed as we drove home.
I smiled, "Why you wasn't feeling me?"
She laughed harder. "It was a nice attempt, but nah babe I don't know what happen to you up there."
"It was your night anyway, you sounded beautiful."
"Thanks bighead, I don't know the last time I laughed that hard. I enjoyed it, thank you for talking me into coming out tonight." She smiled.
Brielle
When we got home instead of going straight to the bed we went straight for the tub. Not because we were dirty or anything but we just wanted a peaceful night together. The bubbles flowed through the tub as cinnamon candles scented the room, I sat in between Chris's legs as his hands rested on my thighs.
"This just might be better than sex, talking like this, and being with you like this. It's different, I like it." I said.
"Nah nothing is better then our sex. But I'm glad we came up with this idea, it's not often we do things like this. And I know I told you things in the past that I haven't followed up on yet, but I promise you it will get done in due time."
"If you were home more often, we wouldn't have a problem doing things like this."
"I'm going to work it out!"
"Do you feel like I'm rushing you into something, honestly you can be real with me?"
He kissed me on the cheek. "No, it's good that your on my ass though. We both know I could do better and I'm trying to but right now I can't tell you for sure what's guaranteed and what's not. One thing I do know is that I need you, I said it a million times and I'll say it again. I love you and I'm not saying that because you are the mother of my child, I'm saying it because I mean it. Without you and Mijo I wouldn't be able to function, we fight and cruse each other out till were blue in the face and there have been others before you. But you're the only one I know is real. I told you to trust me before, I still you need to do that. Everything will show in the end."
I smiled peaceful as we continued to relax together in the tub. "Chris I just wanted you show me that you still care about this and were not doing this because we have too. Only because we want too. I just don't want to be wasting my time, I don't want you to sell me this idea of us being a family if it isn't true. You can go out do and whatever the hell you want to do, I just don't want you to hide things from me. If this shit is too much for you right now let me know, because I could be doing my own shit too."
"Now who hell would you even dare to be with, you know your place belongs here with me." Chris smiled, then repeatedly began kissing on my cheek.
I laughed. "Nah fool, you know where your home is. I got that ass on lock, you'll be stupid to look for better!"
Clearly I'm into this more than I say I am, I said I could be doing my own shit and I'm not happy. But I can admit that I don't want to?leave. Nothing is perfect, but it's good enough for me. I don't care about nothing else I just wanted to make sure that were not doing this because of Mijo. Only because we want to. But I just don't want to wake up tomorrow and see that my time with him meant nothing, and I could have been found somebody who isn't going to fuck around with my emotions and time. After Mijo was born I been going soft and easy on Chris because I didn't want him to make big decisions that would effect us in the future, but I see that I been letting him off too damn easy that shit is not cutting it for me. After tonight it's done because his ass is getting too damn comfortable, Brielle is back I see I need get focused again because clearly I been sleeping on the job.