Jane Rizzoli
"Yay! Yay!" Isa nearly vibrated in her seat as I announced we were only five minutes from home. I leaned further back into my seat, she had been excitable since we left.
"I'm gonna have a mom and a dad! At the same time! Like Gracie!" she exclaimed to herself.
I sighed, I hoped that happened, thoughts had been plaguing me about Casey's visit. Was I making this decision too quickly?
I had called Ma and told her we were heading back home. With the familiar scenery coming to a close, Isa giggled and made another squealing sound.
After we exited, Isa automatically grabbed both our hands as we made our way inside our large home.
Casey's mouth agape and raised into a smile as he stepped inside. All of his thoughts had been erased from his mind and he gawped to watch the figure approach, making a beeline right for him.
Isa was scooped off her feet by my mother. "Hey my baby girl!" Ma exclaimed, hugging her tightly.
"Gramma!" Isa squealed. Ma chuckled and then realized Casey was there, glancing at him, she put Isa down and flew over to his side, embracing him tightly.
I had inherited my mother's talent for hugs, apparently.
"How long can you stay?" said Ma, her eyes checking him over as best as she could.
Casey smiled. "For the foreseeable future," he managed to get out as Ma's hold on him tightened.
"Well, my daughter will be surprised for sure," she chuckled.
"Hmm..." I groaned, sitting down. Opening my eyes, I automatically spotted Isa leaning over me worriedly. "Mommy?"
"I'm fine, baby," I said calmly. A silent anger was slowly brewing in me, at myself. Ma nodded grimly.
"You should lie down,"she commented quietly. I shook my head, standing.
My happiness is now under the surface and mixed with some anxiety. I'm not used to the combination, it's truly odd. Only Casey could bring out these mixed feelings inside of me. I hated him because of it. First pleasure at gaining forward momentum and then fear of the change. It's hard work, no doubt about it. It's tough starting out, taking a chance.
I paused at the sight before me. Isa was leaned into Casey's hold, and he actually looked...father-like. They hadn't had a chance to meet personally yet. His leave and my cases had never allowed for it.
"He seems to be making fine father material." Ma commented, already knowing me well enough to know I was doubting my past decision. "Talk to him,"she commanded softly.
I ran a hand through my lengthy hair and nodded, walking confidently before crumpling at the sight of Casey.
I stiffened a smile, "Isa." My little girl immediately ran to hug me as I fell to my knees and buried my head in Isa's hair, holding back tears. Casey stood back awkwardly, not sure of what to do. I glanced at him and sighed.
"Why don't you go talk to Gram, she wanted to talk to you," I said quietly.
"Okay." Isa slipped passed me to find my mother. I stood slowly, wiping my hands on my pants.
"Hey," I spoke quietly, avoiding Casey's gaze.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Casey asked coldly.
"I-I didn't think you'd want the burd-" I started.
"Don't say burden, don't," Casey warned, coming closer. I finally got the courage to look in his eyes. Tears. Tears were in his eyes. He came close enough to where he now stood across from me.
"I'm sorry," I whispered, tears coming to my own eyes. Casey shook his head, then sighed.
"Don't be, if I was in your shoes, I would have done the same." He snorted dryly, "Why tell the cold heartless soldier anything?"
"Don't say that!" I snarled, causing Casey to look at me in surprise. "Do not say you're heartless! You're not! The man I saw comforting Isa was not heartless! The man standing in front of me is not heartless! You are not heartless!" I ranted.
Casey watched, a hint of amusement creeping onto his face. I hadn't changed at all. I stood up for what I believed in so strongly. That's why I turned all the others down. It wasn't because they weren't any good, it's because they weren't him. It seemed like I was in my own zone, having my own shocking revelation. "I wouldn't love a heartless man..." I whispered, not seeming to notice I had said it aloud. My eyes had a glazed over look and Casey blinked. I loved him. I didn't say it, but I implied it.
"And a heartless man wouldn't love you back," he pointed out, breaking me out of my reverie as I gasped, just realizing I had said that bit of information out loud.
"Casey, I-" I started to explain.
"It's a good thing I'm not heartless then, eh?" Casey asked and I completely froze, staring at him. We stood still for about three seconds before I jumped, throwing my arms around his neck and kissing him. Casey stumbled back a few feet before kissing me back, wrapping his arms around my waist.
Standing in the doorway, Isa and Ma's giggles were easily heard. Casey and I broke apart, each bright red.
"Hey baby," I called, pulling the little culprit to me.
"Hey mommy, dada, having fun?" she taunted.
"Isa!" we both scolded before she went into a fit of giggles.
___________
It had been quite awhile since I had awakened with a man in my bed, and I was preoccupied with the awkwardness of trying to make small talk while I waited for Casey to wake up. In the bright of day I was suddenly uncomfortable with the fact that I was only wearing underwear, I didn't want to get out of bed in front of him. As I waited I started to reminisce about last night.
"What are you trying to do, seduce me?" I asked Casey. "Cause it's not working." I tried to lie.
"Yeah, I doubt that. You were always vulnerable when it came to seduction. You were also good at seducing people yourself,"he said as he walked over to me.
"Hmmm, I don't know, am I?" I asked as Casey came close enough to where our lips met. I missed these days. It killed me to break up with him when he went for deployment, but he had to go. I took a breath and Casey took the chance and stuck his tongue in. Our tongues danced for a while. I took off his shirt.
"Are you sure Jane?" Casey asked very curiously. I had never made the first move. Normally other men did and they risked their life in the process.
"Don't know, am I?" I asked again as my hands drifted from around his neck to his pants; his cargo pants that he came back in from that day.
Casey didn't hesitate to back away. He kissed me on the lips as he finished taking off his pants. He started to kiss my neck as I let out a moan. I took off my shirt. "Yeah, I'm sure," I said smiling as he bit my lip. Casey smiled and took off my bra. He kissed my chest and made it down to my right breast. He roughly sucked on them as I let out another moan.
Two moans by me in one night means I must really want the man. Casey moved up and eventually got inside me. Another moan came from me. Casey kissed me again and began to thrust, getting faster and faster. Not only was I in shock, but I was in love. We haven't 'dated' in 17 years. Now I was having sex with him. After all, we haven't slept together in almost 4 years. He falls to my side and sighs.
"That was excellent." I admitted not realizing it.
"Well I hope, after all, I am amazing." Casey said. I punched him and then rolled over on top of him. "What, another round?"
I kissed him with more passion that I will ever give to one man, only I wanted Casey. I didn't want anyone else, but him. I felt that Casey was the only one that saw my inner beauty. After all, he knew me the longest. All of my other 'male acquaintances' knew me for three months maximum. Casey knew me for over half my life and he meant more than all of my previous boyfriends or 'male acquaintances' put together. He was my first time and that was a week before my 18th birthday and 2 days before his deployment.
"Don't ruin the moment," I said giving a little chuckle and the hint to Casey that it was a joke.
"Ha! What moment?" Casey asked replying with a chuckle as well.
"I am on top of you and have a good chance of hurting you with more pain than you getting shot while on tour." I said with a little hint of a threat.
"Oh, really?" Casey asked as both hands grasped my waist and turned me over making him the one on top. "How'd you like that?" He asked biting my lip and sucking on it.
"Well, you're still in danger, but I'll let that slide," I replied. "I don't want you to go"
He nuzzled into my shoulder, his blonde hair inches from my nose. "Then I won't go."