i'm sorry i updated late djska i was
swamped with frustrating work, but hey
i'm here now 🥺🥺🥺
i suggest listening to Dance With Me by
beabadoobee when it gets to THAT part
(you'll know when you see it,, trust me!)
♡♡♡
♡♡♡
His friend was gone.
The younger came home at hours when Taehyung finally gave up waiting for him. There were no more cuddles, no more breakfasts together, or walking to class side by side and talking about stupid, little things.
No more lunches at Sunshine Sips and making bets about who would get the most numbers from girls. No more lessons, and no more texts telling him to have a good day, or that Jeongguk would bring him food that they could share over work.
It didn't feel right coming back to an empty dorm without Jeongguk, or eating food without somebody making fun of him, calling him 'Specs'.
Days were dull, and his nights seemed to drag longer when the older was in his bed, staring at the ceiling with nobody to hold.
This was what losing a friend felt like?
Taehyung just didn't know why Jeongguk was avoiding him like the plague. Was the plan too much? Did the younger finally realize Taehyung wasn't worth his time?
Did they go too far the other day?
Taehyung should have stopped him— god, he knew he shouldn't have let him but he did. At that time, he wasn't thinking, and he blamed it on his exhaustion, but also the fact Jeongguk was just there.
He was there, and he could feel him close by, his presence enough to still his uneasy heart and erase the tension eating away at his mind. One touch from Jeongguk and everything was clear; things just made sense, and he didn't have to worry, or try to scramble for some explanation.
He messed it up, kissing him, but he knew he only did it to see the sparkle in his eyes, to feel the calm moments before the storm. To have him touch him, ease his thoughts, melt away his worries, tell him things were okay without the words ever leaving his lips.
He wanted to feel that, that clarity, and so he let him suck it off saying it was for practice. But Taehyung knew that was bullshit.
Whatever happened that night wasn't for practice., and despite Jeongguk being the person that made things make sense, he managed to mess it all up.
And that was when he realized his missed him.
There was only so much Hoseok and Jin could fill, so much he could ask for whenever he spent time with them. Don't get him wrong, but there were things only Jeongguk and he understood.
Whenever they talked, and he saw something that reminded him of something Jeongguk would joke about, he would get all excited just to realize he wasn't with him.
Then Jimin. God, Jimin. There was only so much he could do with Jimin. Sure, he liked him, but he just couldn't focus around him when Jeongguk was on his mind. Even though he spent time with him in the time Jeongguk was gone, he couldn't focus.
His attention was all on checking his phone, hoping that the notification was Jeongguk replying to his
text, and his stomach dropped whenever it wasn't.
Even if Jimin was staring at him the entire time, irritance in his tone when Taehyung was staring too long at his phone, it didn't matter.
Just one text— that was all he wanted, but as days passed, leading up until the banquet, he knew there was no chance in getting one. Somewhere along the lines, he messed up. He tangled the clarity he was so used to sharing with Jeongguk.
Because of that, there was no more 'Specs' and 'Ugly Dick Jk'.
It was just Specs.
And it didn't feel right.
Like a small piece of him was missing, and he couldn't find it. It was confusing, and the longer he worried, he didn't know how to feel, or what he felt except one thing.
He missed Jeongguk.
He missed him, and he kept missing him. The pieces of Jeongguk he left behind in their dorm worsened the heaviness in his chest. His volleyball signed by his sisters, and his shirts, and the bowls of empty cereal he refused to wash because a 'volleyball god' doesn't do the dishes.
To think he thought Jeon Jeongguk wouldn't even mean anything to him, yet here he was, missing him.
"I'll see you later right?" He snapped out of his thoughts, realizing he had already walked out of the elevator with Jimin by his side.
"Later? For what?" Taehyung asked, rubbing at his face. He hadn't slept for nights, waiting for Jeongguk to come in, but he never did. The exhaustion was getting to him.
"The banquet. Did you forget, or were you busy thinking about Jeongguk again?" Jimin said cooly, making the two of them stop. Taehyung glanced down at him, brows furrowed.
"What? Why do you care?" He murmured, sliding his hands down his blazer and into the pockets of his uniform slacks. Jimin rolled his eyes.
"Face it, Tae. Jeongguk's not gonna come back for a while. He goes off like a little bitch with his tail between his legs, and then he returns like nothing happened. Trust me, I know him," Jimin sneered.
"But is he okay though?" Taehyung couldn't help but ask, voice thick as Jimin rolled his eyes again.
"Of course he's okay. I already told you, he doesn't do emotional shit. He detours it."
"B-but you can't just let him suffer on his own. You need to be there for him, support him," The younger said, the corners of his lips falling into a frown.
"What if he needs someone?" What if he needs me?
"He doesn't. Jeongguk doesn't rely on anyone, and just 'coz he buddies up with you, doesn't mean shit. He's on his own. He wants to be alone," Jimin said, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Let him be alone, Tae. He doesn't want you."
But I... I want him. "Fine," Taehyung murmured, swallowing thickly as Jimin reached over and took his hand in his.
"Don't let Jeongguk ruin this for us," The younger stared at their fingers, heart lazily skipping a beat when Jimin's small ones intertwine with his own.
"Tonight, it's our night. Our first date," Jimin said, enthusiasm dripping from his words as he squeezed the younger's hand. Taehyung nodded, barely even listening.
"You better clap when I win awards." He wasn't so sure if he was joking but he smiled anyways.
He let Jimin pull him toward their dorm, listening to him drone on and on about awards he didn't care about. It was funny, really, when Jimin spoke about volleyball all he cared about was winning titles and awards underneath his name.
Compared to Jeongguk, who spoke with the whole fricking universe in his eyes about volleyball, telling stories about nights he spent practicing his jump serve for hours, or pissing his coaches off because he was too rough.
He made whole dramatic scenes, jumping off their couch for extra cinematic elements, making stupid little sound effects while Taehyung lost it on the floor. Then Jeongguk would act out other people in dumb voices, only making Taehyung laugh harder.
God, he really did miss him.
"—Wish I would win MVP, but I know the stupid committee is giving it to Jeongguk. Like yeah, he hits hard, but like I set. I control his hits," Jimin rambled on while Taehyung stood by the door, taking his time to find his keys.
"If I didn't set to him the way he wants it, Jeongguk wouldn't even be good," The blonde scoffed. "I swear people don't even understand the importance of the setter. It's all about that spiking bullshit that doesn't even require skill."
"Can I ask something?" Taehyung sighed, his other hand carding through his blue hair, his fringe falling over his eyes. Jimin nodded, looking up at him.
"Why do you even play volleyball?"
He could already hear Jeongguk's answer in his ears, perfectly, word for word from all the times he had shouted it at the top of his lungs. Because I love it, and without it I'm nothing. Volleyball's part of me, it always has been, and I'll play it until I can't.
Fuck that, even when I can't, I'll play it even if I lose a limb. When you see a bouncing sausage on the court with no limbs, that's me Specs.
"I liked it, I guess," Jimin shrugged, while the other internally cursed when he found his keys. "But my Dad said I needed to do an extracurricular. There's only so much money can do for you."
"You're rich?" Taehyung raised an eyebrow at him, gently pushing him aside to unlock the door.
"Mm. How do you think I got into this good school?" Jimin asked, pulling Taehyung's hand for him to face him when he finally got the door open.
"Didn't your mom and dad pay for it?" At that, he winced. He already told him he had dads.
"I got in through a scholarship. I applied late so I came here a year later than others," The younger said, letting Jimin brush aside his hair out of his eyes.
"You're quite the smart one, aren't you?" The blonde said, smiling gently up at him, the edges of his eyes creasing with his smile.
"If you wanna say that, sure," Taehyung cracked a small grin. Jimin chuckled, squeezing his hand before letting him go.
"Alright. I gotta go. I'll see you at the banquet later, right?" He pecked his cheek, feeling his smirk brush against his skin. "Correct?"
"Of course," He whispered, watching Jimin saunter down the hallway, glancing over his shoulder to wave at him before turning around the corner to the elevators.
Swallowing, Taehyung exhaled unevenly, pushing the door open and going inside. He didn't know what he was expecting, but a part of him hoped Jeongguk would have returned home already.
He just wanted to see his volleyball bag, his stupid cartons of empty banana milk, and his smile again, but when he walked in, there was nothing. Again.
Taehyung ran his fingers through his hair, shutting the door behind him. He glanced around the room, guessing there was no use waiting when there was a banquet he needed to get ready for. After all, he was going to be Jimin's date, but even that didn't seem to be as important as Jeongguk's disappearance.
As much as he liked Jimin, and he couldn't think around him, he needed Jeongguk, who made him think straight and everything seem okay.
He wandered into his room, changing out of his uniform for a simple pants and button-up for the occasion. It was nothing much; he didn't want to be too flashy for a banquet he wasn't even a part of. He stood in front of his mirror, shirt faling around his shoulders as his gaze fell on his stomach.
His bruises were slightly fading now. He couldn't even seen the marks Jimin left on him, for Jeongguk covered them up that night. Taehyung's eyes fell shut. He couldn't think about that evening without seeing Jeongguk's head bobbing between his legs, and his hand laced through his hair.
It was embarassing even imagining again, for he made sounds he didn't know he was capable of and felt stars exploding in his head, but he supposed it was on his mind as well. Jeongguk staring at him, eyes full of this innocent feelings that contrasted the lewdness of his mouth around his... yeah.
But he wanted it, and he didn't regret it.
Eyes peeling open, his fingers drifted to the one below his ribcage, parallel to his heart, gulping when his bracelet brushed against it.
Stop thinking about that, he shook his head, trying to get the oddly vivid memory out of his head. And he did, not as successful as he wanted it to be, but he decided to get dressed to this over with and head outside already.
When he was done, he was wearing tight black pants, matching it with a simple gray blazer on top of a white button-up. He didn't do much with his hair, for Jeongguk did most of the styling, but he wasn't here to help so he let it be.
He found himself staring at his phone on his bed before he walked out, hoping there would be some text. Yet the longer he stood there, he knew it wasn't going to happen. Sighing, he grabbed his phone and walked out, not expecting to see Jeongguk.
The second he looked up, however, there he was.
Jeongguk. He was already in his suit, all black which didn't quite surprise him. His back was facing him, and it seemed he was on his phone, distracted. Crap, he didn't know if he should say something, or walk up to him. He was here, he was finally here.
He couldn't mess this up. He didn't know how long this would last, or if Jeongguk could leave. Fuck, he didn't want Jeongguk to leave before he could get a word in, but his mind was spiraling, and he wasn't sure what to do to make him stay.
Just before Jeongguk could leave, he gathered all the courage he could find, knowing for sure he didn't want Jeongguk to leave him again.
"Why are you avoiding me?"
Jeongguk stiffened, the younger realizing that he wasn't alone. He watched, breathing slightly elevated as Jeongguk turned around to finally face him. He gulped, lips pressing into a thin line as he felt the younger's reluctantly gaze meet his own.
"M'not?" Jeongguk said, his words numbing the older as he stood there. Taehyung couldn't believe he just said that.
"You've been ignoring me all week," He cleared his throat, putting his fists into his pocket. "You didn't answer any of my texts, or even gave me a heads up if you were okay."
You don't know how much I missed you.
"Are we okay, Jeongguk?" He asked, taking a step foreward, desperation on his tongue. "You can't say you don't know."
"Specs, it's nothing personal," Jeongguk started, but the older didn't want to hear that stupid excuse he had heard countless of times. He hated it, despised that feeling. It was the reasoon why he changed.
Rejection. He could see it in Jeongguk's features.
"W-well it kinda feels like it is. I let you suck me off, and then all of a sudden I'm treated like one of your hook-ups," Taehyung said, words falling from his lips as panic seized his throat.
"T-that's not what I meant," Jeongguk whispered, but the older simply shook his head at him, his lips beginning to tremble.
"Then what did you mean?" Taehyung murmured, squeezing his fingers into fists. The younger merely swallowed, saying nothing.
"Did I hurt you?" Again, nothing.
"Are you going with Jimin to the banquet?"
"What?" Taehyung's brows drew together. "Why does that matter? Don't change the topic, Jeon."
"Just answer my question," Jeongguk mumbled, exhaling shakily. Taehyung opened his mouth, ready to tell him that didn't matter, that the only thing that mattered to him was Jeongguk and fixing whatever it was between them.
But Jeongguk interrupted him, "Please. I just want to know if I should start going alone."
"Jeongguk," His feet pulled him closer to him, but the more he tried to close the distance, the further he felt far away from him. "That doesn't matter."
"It matters right now," He said, crossing his arms over his chest. "Just answer my question, Specs."
For once, Taehyung's heart swelled in his chest, though he knew it was out of frustration. "Why won't you answer my question? I want my friend back. I want you back."
"And I'm here now so answer my question."
"No you aren't. You aren't here. You and I both know you aren't here. Just tell me what's wrong and I'll fix it. We'll fix it," Taehyung sputtered. Jeongguk shook his head, biting at his lip.
"Are you going with Jimin, or not?" Jeongguk said softly. "I need to get going." God, Taehyung couldn't believe him. Of course, he would be stubborn.
Exhaling, he said, "I am. I was going to." He could hear something drop, but he didn't know what it was.
Jeongguk nodded once, stare fixated on the ground as his tongue poked the side of his mouth. God, he knew it was going to make him leave. His friend was going to walk out that door, and the two of them wouldn't be the same.
Taehyung couldn't live with that so he reached forward, grabbing his wrist before he could turn around and leave him. Jeongguk turned around, adam's apple bobbing in the hollow of his throat as his gaze met Taehyung's desperate one.
"But not anymore," He whispered ever so softly. "I'm not going, and you aren't either."
"I have to go, Specs," Jeongguk murmured, pulling his hand away from him, tucking it into the pockets of his pants. "It's an award banquet."
"And? We both know you don't give a shit about those awards," Taehyung said, mind scrambling for a plan because he didn't mean to blurt that out, though he wasn't going to take it back.
"How do you know that?" The younger asked, and for a second Taehyung thought he was mad at him, but he realized he was kidding. Right on his lips was a ghost of a smile.
"Because I know you play because you love it," He whispered, scratching the side of his neck, feeling the younger's intense gaze on him.
"You love it so much, you're willing to play it even when it hurts you."
"Wow. That's very philosophical of you, Specs," The older gulped, hearing Jeongguk chuckle lightly. "I guess I give you points for listening. Very important in a healthy relationship."
"A-are you giving me love advice right now?" He frowned, brows scrunched together as he noticed Jeongguk's lips curved upward into a small grin.
"If you put it like that, sure," Jeongguk murmured. "I could give you some more. Did you know ignoring your problems is very wrong? Top mistake all idiots make."
"Really? I didn't know that," He tried to be sarcastic, but he couldn't help the smile that blossomed across his lips realizing things with Jeongguk were getting better.
"Well, there you go. Don't ignore your gut, Specs. If you feel it, allow yourself to feel it if it's right. Unless you wanna be that idiot," Jeongguk chuckled.
"You're so stupid," Taehyung smacked his arm, rolling his eyes. Jeongguk snorted.
"Stupid for you," Jeongguk corrected, his features easing into the gentlest of smile. "Only for you."
Taehyung said, nothing, instead remembering every detail of Jeongguk his mind happened to forget in the days he missed him. He filled every missing piece, the freckle on his lip, and the one on his neck that he liked to brush his lips over.
It was nice, to be in his presence again, and he could feel the uneven, sporadic pitter patter of his heart calm beneath his gaze. Felt nice to just have him, there in arms reach, in full view.
"Right," The younger was the first to clear his throat, the two of them realizing they were staring at one another for too long. "So, you said we're not going to a banquet anymore?"
"Oh, yeah, right," Taehyung licked his lips, nodding along as he tried to sort out the sudden confusion plaguing his mind.
"Right, we're ditching."
"Didn't quite pinpoint you as the type to ditch," Jeongguk teased. "Did I rub off on you, Specs?"
"I think it was the other way," Taehyung joked. At that, Jeongguk raised an eyebrow.
"Hey, I thought we were past that," Jeongguk pretended to look hurt, though he knew better. He rolled his eyes at him, lightly punching his arm.
"M'just kidding," Taehyung eventually said, knowing it was probably not a good move to bring that up. "I have an idea, though. On what to do."
"You do? Is it better than being in a room with horny teenagers, annoyingly formal adults, and expensive dining?" He asked, following Taehyung to the door, everything seeming to be in place all over again.
"Because I mean, I have a thing for silverware."
"Ew stop. Andi it depends on how you view it," The older thanked him for opening the door, though he didn't walk any further until Jeongguk joined his side.
"Are you gonna kidnap me, Specs? Sell me to a boy band while you're at it?" Jeongguk nudged his side, earning yet another eye roll.
"Shut up and trust me," Taehyung said when they approached the elevator. He glanced over at the younger, flashing him a wide grin.
"Okay, fine," Jeongguk raised his hands up in defense. "I trust you," He said soft enough for him to hear, and that was enough to have Taehyung's face warm up.
♡♡♡
"My legs fucking hurt!" Jeongguk groaned as the two of them pedaled past the cityscape and down a short cut Taehyung remembered, "M'never trusting you again."
"Oh shut up. You're a volleyball player! Think of this as a nice leg exercise!" Taehyung said, gripping the handlebars to his bike, smiling so wide as the wind whipped through his hair.
The two of them decided to take bikes and go to the spot Taehyung used to visit everytime he felt so sick of being away from home, or the people got too suffocating to stand.
He rarely visited the place nowadays, for he couldn't trust himself being alone with his mind. But now, he was alone with Jeongguk.
And that didn't sound too bad.
He pedaled faster, letting the icey air cut his cheeks as the city behind them blurred into the pinks and dark blues that blotted the sky like unsaturated watercolor. The golden sun fell, and it was as if they tried to chase it, reach it until it disappeared behind the indigo clouds, melting away behind skyscrapers.
The skin around his mouth ached from smiling too hard, and his fingers felt numb from gripping the bars too tight, but none of that seemed to matter.
He could feel Jeongguk's eyes on him, watching him with a small smile while he let the wind mess up his blue hair. He glanced over at the younger, heart thrumming in his chest when he noticed he was the only thing clear in his line of sight.
But of course, he looked away, a wave of shyness crashing over him, and it took moments before he could resurface, catch his breath.
Whatever that was, he didn't know what it meant.
And before he could dwell on it, he stopped his bike, realizing the booming sound in his ears was from the waves crashing against the shore. The beach. They were here.
"Is this it?" Jeongguk asked, stopping his bike beside him. He followed the older as he took off his shoes and socks, leaving them by the bike he gently put down on the cool sand.
"Yeah," Taehyung said, tucking his hair behind his ear after rolling his pants up. "This is it."
The two of them, now barefoot, headed down the path to where the water met the land. Their ankles sunk into the sand, numbing their entire feet for the ground was freezing cold from the frosty evening air.
Neither one of them said a thing until they came to the water, shoulder to shoulde as they looked off into the endless sea seemingly kissing the edge of the world. Taehyung swallowed, inhaling the salty mist, eyes falling shut as the sea dampened his cheeks.
"This place is beautiful," Jeongguk murmured in awe, his voice making Taehyung's eyes flutter open.
"How did you find this?" He asked, wading closer to the sea. Taehyung followed after him, trying to keep his balance and not trip over wet clumps of sand.
"I found it when I transfered here. People use it, but rarey anybody comes to it at night," Taehyung said, letting his feet sink into the ground, seafoam pooling around his ankles as the waves hit the shore.
"When things got too hard to handle, I came here. I've always liked beaches," He explained, wiggling his toes beneath the sand. "I live on a farm with my dads, so I don't see the coast."
"You live on a farm?" Jeongguk raised his voice, his words nearly muted by the ocean's gentle roars.
"Yeah. My family runs a strawberry farm," He said. "My grandparents still run it, and my dads help in it. I used to work there until I came here."
"Really? That's cool. Must have been fun."
"It was. My dads make really good strawberry food. Maybe one time you can meet them. I think they would love you," Taehyung chuckled, holding his hair out of his eyes when the brushed over them.
"Of course they would love me. Who wouldn't?" He joked, and as the two met eachother's gaze, they looked the other way, dropping the subjects.
"I've always wondered how it was to live on a farm. My mom joked about owning one, but then she decided us five were enough," Jeongguk started, kicking water in the older's direction. He gave him a dirty look, splashing him back.
"Do you have a favorite memory with your sisters?" Taehyung asked, wading around the ocean, not wanting to go too far. He couldn't feel his toes, but he didn't really mind.
"There was one time," Jeongguk said after some thought, "that I was sleeping shirtless. My sisters are younger than me by a lot, so they're dumb. They all took markers and drew all over my back, and when I woke up, I was a canvas of Barbie drawings."
"That's cute," Taehyung found himself giggling, able to imagine Jeongguk with doodles on his back in rainbow pen. "Was it fun living with them?"
"Yeah, I guess. They had their times, but don't we all honesty?" The younger snorted. "You get used to being the only boy."
"Don't you have your dad?" Taehyung asked, and when he realized the younger fell silent, he opened his mouth to talk, but Jeongguk cut him off.
"They divorced," Jeongguk said with a shrug. "My mom was an independent woman, and my dad felt like he was holding her back from doing the things she loved. So he let her go."
"Oh. I didn't know that," He stopped, coiling his arms around himself, hugging his frame as he eyed the younger's side profile. "That must have really sucked back then."
"It did. It honestly made no sense because they didn't fight at all. My dad made sure to let me know it wasn't our fault," Jeongguk murmured, watching the sea engulf his feet. "But he told me, if you love someone, you want them to be happy. And he knew she wasn't happy being held back."
"If you love someone, you have to let them go when you realize you can't make them happy anymore."
"But what if you want to make them happy? You can't just give up like that," Taehyung said, watching as the younger finally faced him. He could see his lips poised into a frown, though when his gaze fell on him, Jeongguk smiled.
"Don't think about it as giving up, but more like, what? A temporary goodbye," Jeongguk shrugged.
"A temporary goodbye?" He lifted an eyebrow at him.
"A temporary goodbye," The younger swallowed. "It's when you put things on hold and focus on what's better for you."
"Jeongguk," Taehyung whispered, stepping closer to him, sucking in a shaky breath when a gust of wind blew their hair in all kinds of directions.
"I want to be honest," Jeongguk said softly, moving forward to him as if some force was pulling them together. "I think you're really... amazing."
"You think what?" His brows furrowed.
"Y'know I've never had an actual friend like you," The younger continued, "and I guess I appreciate it. I've never enjoyed myself more than I had, and it's been almost three months. In a couple more weeks, this is gonna be over."
He was right. The deal only lasted until winter, and for some reason his stomach fell at the thought of him leaving Jeongguk. He gulped, unsure what he was going to say next, and hopefully it wasn't going to be anything bad.
"I just wanted to let you know, I never wanted you just for your looks. I kissed you because I wanted to. I spent all that time with you because I wanted to."
Taehyung's brows furrowed. What was he saying? The waves were too loud, pounding against the shore like thunder, and that was all he heard beside the incessant throb of his heart.
Was he somehow missing something important? Was it serious?
"I called you ugly, but honestly I didn't think that. I was being stupid, and I still am. I don't think I'll ever stop being stupid," Jeongguk chuckled after saying something Taehyung desperately tried to hear.
"What?" Taehyung shouted over the waves, voice trembling as he screamed above the thunder.
He saw the way Jeongguk's smile suddenly broke at the edges, and all he wanted to do was reach forward and keep it from falling apart, but the sand seemed to be cementing him to the ground.
He tried to reach forward, holding his hand out, and slowly he watched the younger's fingers intertwine with his. He gulped, feeling Jk pull him closer to him, their chests pressed against one another's, heartbeats throbbing in sync.
"We're friends," Now he could hear his voice, his lips gently brushing against his ear, breath hot on his earlobe. "And I realized that's what means the most to me."
"And I know you like Jimin. I don't want to confuse you, or ruin what you've been wanting for so long," Jeongguk said, pressing his forehead to the side of his hair. Taehyung inhaled sharply, finding himsef hanging off of every single word he said.
"So let's say this is my temporary goodbye to you."
"You can't leave me again. I won't let you," Taehyung suddenly pulled back, his heart stinging, aching so bad he wanted nothing but to rip it out of his chest.
"I missed you. I fucking missed you, and you left. I thought I ruined this, and now we're together," He blurted out, words falling uncontrollably from his lips as his breathing quickened.
"We're together, and now you want to say goodbye?" Taehyung asked, voice breaking. "Y-you don't get it."
"Don't get what?" Jeongguk whispered softly. The older shook his head, lips trembling.
"I-I can't," Taehyung murmured, swallowing.
"I can't do this without you."
"Specs," The younger sighed, his other hand gently reaching up to cup his cheek. Taehyung shook his head, not wanting to lose him again.
"You're one of my closest friends, Jeongguk. I care about you," Taehyung said softly, "and if I messed up, I'll fix it. Just please, tell me what I messed up."
"It wasn't your fault, and I'm not gonna leave you, Tae," Jeongguk whispered gently. "I never said that. It was my fault. I'm the one ruining this."
"God, I hate us," Taehyung let out a broken laugh, leaning his cheek into the younger's warm, calloused touch. "I hate us. I hate how confusing we are."
"We are," He nodded, "and that's why I'm saying goodbye, temporarily. Because all we're gonna be is friends. I'll be there to help and give godly advice."
"But besides that, no more kissing, or any more weird stuff. I don't want you like that, and honestly I'm in need of a friend," Jeongguk whispered softly.
"I need you."
"I d-don't want you like that either," He said, firmly, though his words trembled, and he wasn't so sure why his heart tugged when he said that. "I-I really need you too." He finally admitted.
"Great. We're on the same page for once, Specs," Jeongguk's voice broke a little at the edges. "Now that's settled, phase 2 is done."
"Y-you think I'm ready?" Taehyung asked, eyebrows drawing together. Jeongguk let out an uneven sigh.
"You are. Just move on your own pace," He said, clearing his throat. "If Jimin tries anything, I'll beat his ass like the best friend I am." At that, Taehyung gave him a genuine grin.
"Since when were you my best friend?" He teased, beginning to shiver, but for some odd reason, the heat in Jeongguk's palm was enough to ease his stupid, restless heart, flooding him with warmth.
"I self-promoted myself," Jeongguk flashed him a crooked grin. "Hope you don't mind it."
"No, I don't," Taehyung said. "So this is it? This is your temporary goodbye."
"Yeah," Jeongguk nodded slowly, once then twice. He swallowed, and for a second, he swore his gaze flitted to his lips. "Did you know, Specs."
"Know what?" He asked, realizing the younger undid their fingers, and now his hands were cupping his face.
"When you smile, it's like a rectangle. A little box of happiness and joy and really snarky, mean insults," He chuckled softly, the tip of his thumb brushing the edge of his lip.
"I thought you said no more of this," Taehyung said, joking a little, missing the way hurt flashes over the younger's eyes.
"Let me bend the rules a little while longer, Specs," Jeongguk muttered. He rolled his eyes at that.
"You're still a rule breaker, I see," Taehyung snorted, sighing softly when Jeongguk's lips tugged upward.
"Only for you, Specs," He said. He traced the smile lines on his cheek, before saying,
"Can I kiss you goodbye temporarily?"
Without thinking, Taehyung answered, "Please."
His eyes fluttered shut, and for a moment he waited for something long, something that would have him melting into him. But instead, Jeongguk gently brushed his lips over his, the contact causing him to jolt beneath his skin, nerves flaring for a second.
With that, he pulled away, and he took a step back, the smile on his face not quite reaching his doe eyes. The sparkle Taehyung searched for had dimmed, and as he watched Jeongguk move away from him, his stomach dropped.
"This is it," Jeongguk said, holding his hand out. The older took it, shaking it, letting himself remember how it felt before Jeongguk let go of him.
"Goodbye temporarily, Specs," He flashed him his signature smirk, though Taehyung could see the silent struggle in his stare. But he said nothing and swallowed, giving him a smile of his own.
"Best friends?" He asked, unsure why his heart felt heavy, stomach twisting and turning.
Jeongguk nodding, the wind whipping through his hair, sun setting behind him into a supernova of pinks, blues, and hazy oranges, and the sea crying in the background. In those seconds he counted down for his reponse, Taehyung's heart squeezed realizing the twinkle in his eyes had died.
"Yeah," Jeongguk declared. "Best friends."
♡♡♡
a couple of besties amiright
okay fine you can yell at me 😗✌️