Brielle
Go head, judge me I don't give a shit. Point out my flaws and call me a hypocrite because I didn't do anything I said I would. For instance I told myself I would wait for someone special or at least who I really cared about to give myself away to, that's half true. I told myself I wouldn't have a man take care of me I would do things my way and on my own time, that's half true. I told myself I would always wait till I'm married to have kids, fucked that one up. Call me what you want, I am somebody's baby momma. I am not married, I am about to be twenty five years old with no wedding ring on my finger. A one year son running around, and a "boyfriend" that feels like he's my part time boyfriend. Meaning he'll take the perks of the relationship when it's convenient for him, but is unwilling to put forth actual commitment.
Label me as all of that but before you do so, think about it like this. Okay I may have lost my virginity early and had a baby before I was ready. But I only had sex with one person and still continue to sleep with that person today, let's not forget to mention that my son is by the same person I continue to wake up next to everyday. So shit I say I'm doing pretty damn good for someone who hasn't done everything the way it's suppose to be, I couldn't be happier with myself for that so fuck what anybody thinks about it.
Back to the basics, when it was getting close to the due date of our baby being born Chris was just too excited! He surprised me one day by paying for his mother, my mother, and myself to go on a spa day with each other. He should have known I can't really enjoy the spa because I couldn't do have the things I wanted to being pregnant. Especially when it came to getting certain massages because it could induce labor but it was the thought that counts and it was sweet of him. It definitely relaxed me because at the time I was stressed the fuck out. When I came back to the house Chris called me into the baby room where my dad and him surprised me to the remodeling work they did. Chris painted the room and drew all his playful designs on the wall, it was really special that him and my dad worked on this together it was beautiful.
Mijo Christopher Maurice Brown was born a week after their little project, he's about to be two years old soon. I know everyone says this about their kids but my baby is the smartest damn baby in the world, he's about to be two and already speaks so damn good. When he was born Chris almost missed it all, what he was doing I don't know but I let it go after I saw Mijo. Only thing that mattered to me at the time was that he was there to hold my hand as I pushed. I was in labor 10 hours for Mijo to make it the world. I wasn't going to push till his ass got there, his mother and my mother were in the room with me but my father didn't want to see me in the light. I didn't blame him either all my damn goodies were hanging out for everyone to see, I wouldn't want his ass looking anyway but in that moment I was in minimal pain I wanted to be all woman and handle the birth naturally. Mijo was the most beautiful little thing I ever seen, from the moment he was born he was all mine no one will ever take the away from me. Healthy as can be he cried his lungs out, the doctor created commentary as they took him to clean him up.
"Good job baby, you did so good I'm proud of you. That's my boy crying, shit that's my boy I'm a father!" Chris said smiling from ear to ear.
"We got a pair of blue eyes over here!" The doctor said.
"Blue eyes?" Chris repeated.
Yes blue eyes, my baby was blessed with blue eyes. Mainly they interchange between grey and a steel blue. It isn't uncommon in my family but most definitely rare to find, I myself never seen anyone in my family alive with blue eyes but supposedly my great great grandfather had blue eyes and no he wasn't white. 100% Puerto Rican baby don't get it twisted! Once we got to the name process we started butting heads.
"Look at him, damn." Chris said holding him for the first time.
I smiled brightly "Are you tearing up over there?"
He laughed a little. "Nah I'm good . . . Hey Jr. -- ."
"Stop right there, he's not a Jr. I'm not naming my son after you I told you that from the beginning."
"The hell we are!"
"Look I'm not about to fight with you over his name because I'm trying to keep this moment special, he's not going to be named after you. When you carry a baby for nine months and spend ten hours in labor you can name your kid whatever you like, but I'm not naming him Christopher Maurice Brown kiss that dream goodbye."
"Son if you want to be named after your daddy don't say nothin'." Chris said waiting a couple of seconds to see if he would whimper but he didn't "See he loves it."
I laughed. "I'm sorry Chris, I don't want to have a Jr. . Listen he can have your name it just won't be the exact same, anything for the first name and the rest is all yours."
We had to throw things in the air to see if those name would stick after Chris's name, first we thought Michael Christopher Maurice Brown but it wasn't good enough for me. Then he said Jackson Christopher Maurice Brown and I thought hell no after I noticed the pattern with that so I needed to nip that shit in the bud. Only one name he eventually suggested that I kind of liked and that was Alonzo Christopher Maurice Brown. His mother threw out Mijo knowingly it was his cousin name I wasn't too fond of it but I like that it somewhat incorporated my ethnicity into it. After 3 days of being in the hospital we had to pick a name out, Chris warmed to Mijo and I liked it since it was the only one we could agree on.
Fast forward to present day Mijo is the most vibrant baby there is, he's always smiling and like most one year olds he's always in the mood to play. But I'm not the type of mother that believes in time out cause that shit don't work, when he does something bad his ass gets a couple of hits on the hand. I can't spank him yet because what the fuck would I look like spanking a one year old with a belt? Chris and I believe in corporal punishment, so until then being popped on the hand is all he gets.
"Mommy, where my daddy?" Mijo said looking up at me as he played with his toys.
"I don't know baby, he'll be home soon. Come on let me get you into bed, you should have been asleep."
"No bed mommy."
I smiled picking him up into my arms, "That's what you think, it's night night time."
As I placed him in his crib he pouted and eventually cried, I don't think he likes to go to bed until he see's Chris before he closes his eyes. But I don't have time for that it's late and I'm already tired. I warmed him up a bottle and wined up the little sleeper above his crib to play soft music so he could drift to sleep, I ran my fingers through his curls as he held the bottle in one hand and tugged on his ear with the other. I love when he does that I swear it's the cutest shit I ever seen! Once he began to slowly close his eyes I walked out the room cracking his door. Just as I walked past the stairs I saw Chris walking into the house, I paid him no attention as I made my way to the bedroom. I changed into a t – shirt and got into the bed.
"What's going on?" He nonchalantly asked.
"I just put your son to bed."
"How come when your mad at me all of a sudden he's just my son?"
"Where were you tonight?"
"I was out."
"Oh word you were out? Well while you were out your son and I waited up for you, so what was more important to you that you couldn't be here to tuck your son in?"
"Why the fuck are you trippin'? It's way too late for this shit."
"Exactly Chris it's way to late for this shit, and in the morning it will be too damn early for this shit. So why can't you just answer the fucking question?"
"Look all I want to do right now is sleep, I'm tired and I don't feel like doing this. How was your day, what did you do? I'm interested seriously." Chris laid across the bed closing his eyes.
I sighed. "Obviously I can't get a answer from you so what makes me think that I could get your attention?"
He sighed. "Brielle I'm listening to you, go head tell me what's up?"
"Fuck it, it's nothing now I'm too tried." I said turning out the light.
Chris laid his torso on mine as he closed his eyes "You know I love you right?"
"I don't know, you have a funny ass way of showing it."
"Don't play me out, you know I love you right?"
"Yeah." I turned my up at him.
"Yeah what?" He smiled.
"Chris I'm not in the mood for fucking games, where are you going with this?"
"You and Mijo are all that matters to me right now, what do you think I'm doing when I'm out there? Providing for my family, so what's the problem?"
"This right here, you, me, us!"
"I think things are going good, so what's the matter?"
I was getting turnt up but suddenly I heard Mijo crying from his room. "My son is crying, excuse me."
"No," he said grabbing my hand. "Sit down, I got him."
Nothing is all good but it isn't bad either, some days we do really good with each other and I forget all the unanswered questions. But then it's always those shitty days that seem to matter more than the good ones and the question of "What Are We Doing With Ourselves" still linger around. A year and a half ago I had the choice to say no to being here, I could be raising Mijo some where else but I thought I would be doing a good thing for all of us if we were all together. But I'm not fucking happy, I don't know if I will be for a while now. Chris holds the key to that, I'm just waiting for him to unlock the door.
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Poetic Justice, the second book in the Free Run Series was published to Wattpad in 2012! Any slang, music, or people reflects what was poppin' around that era. It will not be changed to suit current time for I'm just going through this book for grammatical errors and editing. Thanks for the ongoing support, I really do appreciate it. Muah !