I'm so sorry I haven't updated.
I ended up getting in a relationship on October 26th with the boy I have been crushing on for ages. I met some new friends I loved so much.
I was going to write again after, but then my 'boyfriend; and I started fighting a lot.
he never complimented me, he never asked me on dates ever, he never invited me over or texted me first, he didn't believe me when I said my dad and mum hurt me.
he just stopped caring, and would always bring up his ex's and wouldn't let me hang with certain people.
he broke up with me and pushed me away by saying I was a toxic, attention whore and all-around annoying bitch.
my friends I met through him told me to fuck off and that they never liked me, just tolerated me.
I tried to move on, I got asked out by 6 different guys two weeks after the breakup but I didn't like any of them I just wanted my ex back.
my ex toyed with me for ages but before I knew it he was spreading rumors abt me. like how I was apparently taking him to court for 'rape' which was false I could never do that to him, I loved him too much.
he started telling the whole school my secrets, made things up about me, bitched abt me, made my life hell.
I tried to end it but it didn't work.
I have been constantly attacked by my old friends and my ex for 2 months now and I can't do anything. their parents don't know and my school won't do anything. i lost so many people for false things.
it hurts a lot and I really don't have any energy to continue anything currently especially with this virus.
like I did my fair share of things in the relationship but it hurts I'm getting all the blame and no one will listen to me.
I know most of u didn't read this but it just hurts you know? nothing feels worth it anymore, I miss him but I know ill never have him back, he's moved on but I can't, it just hurts his doing this and that my old friends are helping him.
it just sucks cause all I got out of this relationship was false memories of happiness and joy plus like so much emotional trauma and nightmares since the day he ended it with a sprinkle of the whole school thinking I'm a bitch and ruining all my future relationships, romantic or not at that school, and all he got was praise from everyone for what he's doing to me, love from his parents since they don't know anything that has happened, got his dick wet by one of my old friends, he probably hasn't even cried once.
I feel alone and unwanted and don't know what to do. my parents aren't even there for me.