Ryzen POV
"No. Even if there is a possibility that she would think you're lying, you cannot tell her. Your mission will be marked as failed and your soul will disappear forever if you do so." a chilling, familiar voice suddenly said.
The voice that communicated to me through my mind was enough to make me sober. It momentarily made me stop my tears and I had to close my eyes, then open them again in order to be clear of confusion.
It's the red-haired man! It's been so long since he last talked to me.
"Then what do I do? Don't you feel sorry for her? For my mum? They all think I'm dead already and this mission has been dragging for so long. Do I really have the chance to go back or are you all just giving me false hope?" I asked him desperately.
"Calm down. You're in that state right now because your emotions are mixed up. You're progressing well in your mission so far. And I told you, didn't I? It doesn't take a few months to accomplish it. Genuine love does not work like that, especially since the original host and your target did not have an established relationship beforehand." the red-haired man calmly explained.
My feelings are still complicated and as much as I want to retaliate, I knew in my heart that what he's saying is true. If I give in to my desire now just to comfort Zaynah, how am I supposed to be ever be back with them again?
"Hey, calm down, alright? Remember your mission. Practice delayed gratification. You should be old enough to know it. Just continue showing your genuineness and whatever else you're doing." the red-haired man said.
I wanted to say more things but as I spoke more, there was no longer a reply. He disappeared, just like that.
But even though it was only for a short while, being able to communicate with him again after so long ignited my grit. I was getting too impatient, especially these days since I think about my original life more as I hang out with Zaynah.
I sighed in my heart as I looked at Zaynah who was still sobbing. I quickly grabbed the handkerchief in my tote bag and gave it to her.
"Thanks, Millen." Zaynah said, taking my handkerchief to wipe her tears.
I let out a small smile. I feel so guilty...
"I cry so easily upon mentioning my sister because you know, it's only me, her and my mum in the family. Then suddenly, when she was on her way to receive an award at Japan, she left... just like that." she said, trying not to let her tears fall down.
"I was the youngest so I was always spoiled by our mum. She was strict on her and doted more on me because apparently, at least my sister grew up with our dad while I never had the chance to see him. But somehow, that always made me guilty. I thought it was a foolish reason. Nevertheless, my sister never complained. She spoiled me a lot and was a filial daughter to mum. Now that she's gone, I now only realise how much I've taken her presence for granted..." Zaynah continued.
Zaynah's words... with every word she drops, the pain in my heart gradually builds up. Heavens know that despite everything I had, the only insecurity I would have would be my relationship with my mother.
All my life, she would only show affection to my younger sister, Zaynah. There were a lot of moments where I wondered if I really her child...
Despite that though, I never had the intention to hate her or Zaynah. Especially Zaynah. She's been so sweet to me ever since we were little and she's always been looking up to me. Every time I get disappointed in myself or things don't go my way, she was the one who always encouraged me.
As for my mother... the word speaks for itself. She's my mum, after all. She was the one who gave birth to me. It was her who gave me the opportunity to be able to experience life. How can I ever hate her?
Rather than hate, I guess, for my whole life, I was seeking acknowledgement and slight affection from her. Even just a little bit would be fine.
By the time I get back my original body, I'll make sure to work even harder and properly confront my feelings...
"By the way, do you wanna know the reason why I stubbornly worked hard to get into UP Med?" Zaynah suddenly murmured.
I looked at her with assurance, letting her know that she can continue opening up to me.
"It's for my sister. She was upset when our mum didn't let her study medicine here and I always knew she wanted to study here. I knew I wasn't as smart as my sister so I had to really work hard just to pass the NMAT and get in here... I want to be a doctor just like her. I'm doing this to honour my sister." she said with a slight smile, looking at me.
My heart fluttered repeatedly as warm feelings evoked within me.
"I'm sure she'll be proud. Your sister is lucky to have you as her sister. That's why, don't put too much pressure on yourself. Don't be guilty. Also, I'm always here if you need any help." I said warmly to her, pulling her in a slight hug.