the truth comes out
~[|]~
"I'm sorry." Gerard said softly to Linda once Frank had said goodnight and packed all of their stuff in his car. Which was where he was currently waiting, and probably fermenting in his own anger.
"I didn't mean for that to happen, I should've just—"
"No, honey, don't apologise." Linda said sympathetically, rubbing Gerard's forearm in a calm manner. "Fredrick should be sorry, and I'm sure he is with the way his nose looks."
Gerard didn't want to agree with her, because it was his fault, on a multitude of levels, not Fred's, or Frank's or Eddie's. It was his own. But for the sake of not making a fool of himself he stayed quiet.
He nodded anyway, trying to smile so he could seem just a tad happier than he was.
She smiled weakly before pulling him in for another tight hug, "It was so great meeting you, Gerard. Feel free to pop by any time you want."
Gerard smiled a little for real that time, feeling his stomach tingle with pride.
"Um, I'm sorry you two didn't get to eat much, here I'll pack a little something for the road." She said quickly pulling back from the hug and rushing off into the kitchen.
Gerard stood there awkwardly in front of everyone who was had stopped eating to look at him.
"It was really nice meeting you all." He said softly with an awkward wave. They all responded with a polite expressions and Gerard went to follow Linda into the kitchen when Eddie stood up from his chair.
"Can I actually speak to you for just a second?" He said, a few strands of his brown hair falling over his eyes.
Gerard nodded and walked with Eddie to the living room for privacy.
"Uh, I don't exactly know what happened with you and Fred, and I'm completely fine not knowing, but.. I'm sorry about the things he said. You don't deserve to hear any of it though, we all loved you." He grinned, and Gerard went to utter a thank you when Eddie pulled him into a tight hug.
When they pulled back Gerard had a small smile again, his eyes glazing over with tears, not really from sadness but actually quite the opposite. He was so happy to hear Eddie say that, because really that's all he had wanted out of this trip, to impress Frank's family.
"Thank you.." Gerard whispered, not caring about the fact that he was probably coming across like a crybaby.
"No thank you, I'm so glad to see Frankenstein so happy." He laughed, "But um, I'm sure he's a little angry right now so on his behalf I'd like to say sorry."
Gerard chuckled, "It's okay."
"Cool," Eddie grinned, "You two better come 'round here again, or else tell Frank imma kick his ass."
Gerard nodded with another laugh, Eddie nodded back before heading back into the dining room.
And soon Gerard was accepting the leftovers Linda was giving them, and heading out the door to Frank's car.
He could see Frank putting his head on the steering wheel as he got into the car.
"Um, your mom left you some food." He said softly, seeing as Frank looked more than exhausted and upset. He didn't want to startle him.
Frank hummed and lifted his head up, turning on the engine and pulling out of the driveway. Gerard frowned when he saw that Frank's cut was still bleeding, and the bruise around his eye seemed to be green and purple.
"Frankie, maybe we could get some ice for your eye?" Gerard said quietly, holding the warm food in his lap as they started to drive out of the neighbourhood.
"It's okay, it barely even stings." Frank muttered, keeping his eyes on the road.
"Well, I just think that—"
"Gerard, it's fine." Frank interrupted with a snappy tone.
Gerard looked down at his lap, feeling like a kid getting grounded. He knows that he spoiled Frank's evening but he didn't think that he should be objected to all of this snapping and yelling, it made him feel immature and ridiculed.
All of the sudden Frank was pulling over and stopping by a random sidewalk. He parked the car and ran a hand through his hair as he turned to look at Gerard.
He opened his mouth to say something and Gerard watched closely as he just gave up and shut his eyes, his breath whooshing out of his system.
"Fuck, I- I'm being a complete asshole, aren't I?" Frank asked quietly, his eyes screwed shut as he spoke.
Gerard frowned, he didn't want to make Frank feel bad, but he wasn't about to lie to him again.
"'No- well.. a little." He muttered.
He reached over to brush Frank's hair out of his face, careful to not touch his cut.
Frank didn't say anything for a few moments as he just sighed and grabbed Gerard's hand softly.
"I didn't mean to get snappy with you, I'm sorry. I'm just so angry and I can't- I fucking can't—"
Frank let out a frustrated groan, falling against his seat. He let go of Gerard's hand as he tugged at his hair forcefully making Gerard wince.
"Frankie, don't do that.." He said softly as he tried to gently pull Frank's hands off of his hair.
Frank's hands fell in his lap and he opened his eyes slowly.
"Gerard, I— I need to tell you something." Frank said quietly, his words filling the air with the kind of tension that makes it known that whatever's coming next, can't be very good.
"But I-I'm scared." Frank admitted.
"Frank, you can tell me anything. You know that." Gerard said, focusing on Frank solely.
"I know..." Frank mumbled, looking down at his lap as he uttered his words. He took a breath before speaking again.
"Okay, so um, when I was around seventeen, my mom had to sell our car to be able to afford the rent, and so I would always have to walk to town to get the groceries..." Frank started slowly, fiddling with his fingers. "And everytime I was forced to, I remember being so fuckin' pissed off because all I wanted to do was stay home and play video games."
Frank chuckled softly as he recalled the memory, though it didn't seem like the happy kind of chuckle, but more the kind were you regret something but you can't really do much but laugh at it.
"And this one time, I guess I was so focused on what I wanted to be doing, that I accidentally took a wrong turn into this sort of stranded neighbourhood, and I mean.. you know Jersey."
Frank's voice wavered as he continued, "And I couldn't seem to find where I was meant to go, and I actually ended up running into this group of older guys, they were maybe twenty or twenty one."
"I uh, y'know asked for directions, and I remember being really nervous. The kind of nervous where you just sort of trip over your words and smile way too much," Frank muttered with narrowed eyes, "and all of the sudden.. I was being pushed from behind."
Frank's voice cracked.
"I remember this guy- this fucking guy with with blonde hair and an ugly eagle tattoo telling me that I was just a little kid, and that I should be home dressing up in my sister's clothes. He called me short, a faggot... you name it, he said it." Frank laughed dryly.
"And when the shoving became kicking I remember just balling my eyes out. Thinking, 'wow, seventeen years old and still such a fucking girl.'" Gerard felt his chest cave in sadness as Frank spoke, feeling guilty and upset for things he himself hadn't even done.
"I don't know, I guess I- I guess I just didn't have the balls to fight back, and when I finally did find my way home, after they stole all of my shit, I remember telling myself that I'd never let anyone make me feel that small again, make me feel that weak again." Frank wiped at his eyes, his chest heaving as he started crying.
"Frank... you were seventeen, of course you were going to feel vulnerable." Gerard whispered, finally starting to somewhat realise why Frank had this hero-complex, or why he always got into fights and angry lashes.
He was just scared.
He was scared of being scared, just like everyone, Gerard supposed.
"No, you don't get it, Gee." Frank muttered as he looked out of the window by his head, practically refusing to look at Gerard.
"I couldn't- I couldn't stop getting into fights after that.." Frank said softly, "If I couldn't start them, I'd literally look out for them.. and I remember one of my friends at time told everyone about me being mugged, and everyone just thought I was such a pussy,"
"So I went to the sketchiest bar in town, and I.. I picked a fight with this thirty year old guy." Frank's eyes were glazing with tears again, and Gerard really wanted to comfort him- but it didn't seem like Frank wanted any contact right now.
"I don't remember much about that night actually, but I do remember waking up with three broken ribs and a few bone bruises." He mumbled, "And if that wasn't bad enough, I got put into a program for people with anger-management issues."
He snorted, "They were all fucking dorks anyway, so I quit after the first two weeks."
It was silent in the car for a few moments, Frank wiping his eyes again before Gerard spoke up meekly.
"Frank, I.. I don't think people who have anger issues and are seeking help, are dorks. I mean I don't think you have anger issues, but there's nothing inherently embarrassing with getting help. For anything." He said softly, making Frank's head snap to face him.
"You don't think I have anger issues?" He raised a skeptic eyebrow.
Gerard shook his head, "No, I just think that maybe sometimes you don't want to turn out on the bottom so bad, that you just turn to fighting. Or maybe you just wanna protect those who can't protect themselves."
Frank looked at him for a moment before letting his eyes drift down again, "I don't know."
Gerard carefully put a hand on Frank's thigh, "Well, anger issues or not, I still love you- and nothing could make me stop loving you, alright?"
Frank looked up at him and smiled sheepishly, "I love you too, so fucking much."
"And uh, I'm so sorry that I get out of control, I just hate it when people hurt you- and I just- I wanna make them hurt too." Frank mumbled, looking down.
Gerard smiled weakly, he kissed the corner of Frank's mouth softly before shifting back in his seat normally.
"It's alright, Frankie. Just please stop
getting black eyes, okay? And no cuts either."
Frank nodded with a broken laugh, and Gerard had expected Frank to start driving, but he didn't budge, and Gerard looked over at him in confusion.
"Gerard, we.. we still have to talk about what happened with Fred." Frank said softly, keeping his voice gentle as if Gerard would just run out into the night and away from him.
"It's fine now, Frank. He's not gonna bother me anymore." Gerard said, though he knew that Frank was right... just like he always was about these things.
"Please just tell me what happened.." Frank pleaded quietly, and Gerard eventually sighed and looking down at his lap.
"When you and Eddie went to get your charger, Fred came to sit next to me. He started this whole spiel about how I looked like a prostitute, and that he could fuck me since I've probably fucked tons of people before. He then put his hand on my thigh, and tried to touch my crotch too." Gerard sighed, somehow feeling very nonchalant about this whole situation.
As if looking back, he didn't even remember what all of the fuss was about.
Frank looked at him quietly for a second, "Why are you saying it like that?"
"Like what?" Gerard asked in confusion.
"Like this is normal- Gerard, that's sexual harassment." Frank said, his eyebrows having shot up to prove a point.
"It's fine." Gerard shrugged.
"No it's not, that's—"
"Well it happens so often what the fuck am I supposed to think?" Gerard sighed, breathing heavily.
He felt bad for raising his voice a bit but this was all becoming a little too ridiculous.
"Gee... this happens often?" Frank asked quietly, his tone weak and sad.
Gerard sighed, and nodded curtly.
"I... remember that time I was helping you at the bar, and I left and wouldn't tell you why?"
"Yeah?" Frank asked, curiously.
"Yeah, well that was because someone slapped my ass." Gerard grumbled out, feeling upset that his cheeks were turning red from feeling so exposed and vulnerable.
Frank's mouth fell open, "Gerard, why didn't you tell me? I would've—"
"Because it's embarrassing, Frank!" Gerard sighed, putting his head in his hands.
"It's embarrassing to tell people that someone touched you, I- I don't talk about it for a reason." Gerard looked at Frank frantically.
"Gerard, there's nothing fucking embarrassing about being harassed." Frank said softly. "I know it might feel that way- but I promise, I don't think any less of you, and I'm certain no one else would either."
Gerard didn't say anything, he just bit his lip harshly.
"I don't wanna be a burden to you." Gerard finally whispered, looking at Frank through his eyelashes.
Frank looked at him for a moment before leaning over to kiss him gently, Gerard responding after a few seconds.
"You could never be a burden." Frank whispered back, leaning his forehead against Gerard's.
The two went silent again.
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aye so i tried to make this chapter more about frank's teen life as opposed to gerard's
not really edited
hope y'all are having a good day <3