<< tbh im having brain dead so ideas are being yikes. anyways this is probably gonna be some angsty merthur with a happy ending bc yes uhh don't let the title fool you oop-- lmao no i lied i've spent like,, months procrastinating and can't take anything seriously right now (i'm losing my mind in quarantine) so uh there's a whole lotta stuff in here that i was planning to change but oh well >>
<< a/n pt.2 feel free to skip bc this is already a long a/n, i'm terribly sorry! yeah, i haven't updated in forever. honestly? i lost a lot of motivation to write. i'd started this one a long time ago before finally coming back to it and trying to finish it. i'll try to update some more since my motivation seems to be coming back, though :) so fair warning that since i started this, died, and then came back to it, some things might not make sense because i don't really remember where i was going with it. >>
"Merlin," Arthur said darkly, head turning left to right. "Where on Earth are we."
Merlin made a sound that was most certainly not a whimper. No, not at all. He totally wasn't concerned that they had just been surrounded by a troupe of fair folk, and persuaded into performing a soul bonding ritual with each other.
"Merlin," Arthur repeated, locking his gaze on Merlin, who was slumped on the ground against a tree, staring around with wide eyes.
"I uh-- I think we're in a fae circle," he said after a moment, motioning to the assorted mushrooms in the area around them. They were both within the large, multi-ringed circle, with Arthur standing at the opposite side.
"... A fae circle? And what does that mean," Arthur snorted, crossing his arms. "How did we get here? Last I remember, we were back at Camelot, celebrating Morgana's birthday."
"Yes, well, you know how Morgana invited some of her druid friends to come join us? Those friends brought some of their friends, who happened to be more or less some of the fair folk. They brought some customs and tricks with them, and we ended up here..." Merlin trailed off despite sounding like he was about to say something more.
"And why did we end up here?" Arthur asked, starting to walk over to Merlin. "And why is my chest hurting less over here?"
"I-- I'm sorry, what? Your chest is hurting less?" Merlin blinked up at Arthur. "You didn't say it was hurting earlier?" And he was concerned, because his was the same. He already had a hunch about what was happening, hence the whole 'soul-bonding' idea he had.
"I didn't think it was worth mentioning, but now that you say this might be related to magic? I should've known Morgana was up to something. She loves to play little tricks on me," Arthur said, stopping some couple of paces away from Merlin.
"Uh, no. Unfortunately, I don't think this is one of Morgana's pranks. So... You know how the druids brought that drink of theirs? And how it was really easy to get drunk on it? Yeah, the fair folk took advantage of that. I'm sure other people have gotten themselves stuck in deals or other promises to the fae, but uh, we're also in a bit of a predicament ourselves."
"We-- What do you mean. What did you do, Merlin?" Arthur said, narrowing his eyes at the warlock.
"What did I-- What did I do!" Merlin scoffed loudly, standing up with what appears to be more effort than should be needed to do so. "It was the both of us! You need two willing participants to perform a soul-bonding ritual."
There was a pause, and then Arthur growled, "A what ritual?"
"A soul-bonding ritual. It... Well, a soul-bonding ritual must have two willing participants. Other than that, it can be performed with siblings, close friends, or otherwise, but it most commonly binds the two souls of lovers," Merlin explained slowly. He wrung his hands together, but still held Arthur's gaze.
"... So..." Arthur narrowed his eyes even further. "Then how did we end up being soul-bonded."
"It's a bit fuzzy," Merlin said after a pause, and then continued with some more hesitations. "But... I think we were talking about how we hated each other running off any trying to get ourselves killed. The fae must have decided, 'oh, they're already drunk, and ripe for... getting tricked into a soul-bond'. So, here we are, and we must have gone through with it, like the idiots we are."
"Did you just call me an idiot?"
"Oh, sorry. I mean clotpole."
Arthur cuffed Merlin's ear. "Shut up. How do we fix this?"
"Um, I don't know if there's a way to undo a soul-bond. I'll have to do more research on that," Merlin said, and then laughed nervously. "But either way, we need to get back to Camelot."
"... Yes, we do. So stop looking panicked, and start walking," Arthur ordered, spinning on his heels and walking off. He knew these woods well, as this was his homeland. Sure, the mushrooms were new, but all of the trees were the same.
Merlin gulped, and then followed his king.
<<+>>
"Arthur! Merlin! There you two are! We were wondering where you two had gone," Morgana calls with spread arms, wrapping them around Arthur in a tight hug. "You should know not to just vanish like that, especially as king. It scared everyone! Gwen and I were thinking about sending a search party, since we couldn't find you anywhere in the house."
"Uh, sorry Morgana. We were--" Merlin then cut himself off, glancing at Arthur, who shrugged and nodded. "We were lured off by fair folk, and tricked into... Well, tricked into a soul-bonding ritual."
Morgana looked surprised, but she didn't seem that concerned about it. "Oh, how did that happen? You were both enjoying the festivities."
Gwen rushed down the stairs into the plaza, holding her skirts up. She stopped in front of the group. "What happened?"
"Fair folk," Merlin answered simply.
"It's... confusing. I'd prefer not to continue this discussion out here," Arthur said, motioning with his hands at the people out and about.
"Of course. Let's go to your rooms, Arthur." Morgana nodded, turning and starting up the stairs.
Gwen pursed her lips and followed Morgana back up the stairs.
With a glance at Arthur, Merlin and his king set off after the two women.
<<+>>
They quickly arrived in Arthur's chambers, where Arthur leaned up against the wall near his fireplace and rubbed his hand over his face, letting out a long breath.
"So, you two are soul-bonded," Morgana stated, looking between Merlin and Arthur.
"Uh, yes. I only know why you'd be soul-bonded, and some of the things that happen when you are soul-bonded, but er-- Arthur wants to know how to break a soul-bond, and I didn't know if it was possible," Merlin said, avoiding everyone's eyes.
"It's not," Morgana said simply. "There's no known way of breaking a soul bond. The druids have been asked repeatedly to break a soul-bond, but it's just not possible."
"What? No, no. It has to be possible. We have to be able to break the soul-bond," Arthur snarled, eyes flashing as he stared at Morgana.
"Arthur, I said that it was not possible a few seconds ago," Morgana said with a slight smile.
Merlin rubbed his arms, looking nervous. "I could still ask around, and see if there's any way to break it, or at least diminish it's power."
"Do that," Arthur ordered with a sharp nod.
Merlin took a slow breath, smiling faintly before slipping out of the room and closing the door silently behind him.
There was a pause as his footsteps receded from the door, and then Gwen rounded on Arthur.
"You hurt his feelings," she said sharply, narrowing her eyes.
"What? How could I possibly have hurt his feelings? This is annoying for the both of us. Neither of us want to be soul-bonded to each other," Arthur retorted defensively, glancing at the door where Merlin had just left.
"I don't think he minds, Arthur," Gwen started, but then Morgana spoke over her.
"Merlin has always been fond of you, Arthur. I think you may have made him think you truly don't like being soul-bonded to him because you don't like him," she said. "But he will do his best to try and break the soul-bond, even if it's not possible."
"I-- He knows that's not true. He knows we're close... close friends," Arthur said, looking away from Morgana.
"... I should warn you about some of the effects caused by soul-bonds. You might begin hearing Merlin's thoughts, or feeling his emotions. If you're not already, I'd assume he's blocking the effects with his magic," Morgana said, seeing that Arthur was uncomfortable, but she could hardly understand why.
Arthur thought for a moment, and then nodded. "I think I can feel his emotions, but only when I focus on them. He's... He seems slightly subdued, but mostly annoyed and bothered."
"That's not surprising. I wouldn't assume it to be easy to find a spell to break a soul-bond, as one doesn't exist." Morgana crossed her arms, looking to Gwen.
Gwen blinked at Morgana, and then said. "I er-- I could go help him look?"
"It would be better if you went and comforted him, as Arthur is being his usual self," Morgana said with a pointed glare, which was returned almost immediately.
Gwen nodded with a concerned look between the two siblings, and then slipped out of the room.
Arthur and Morgana stared at each other, neither of them saying anything.
<<+>>
"Merlin?" Gwen called, walking into Gaius' chambers. She looked around, and then called his name again.
"I'm in here!" came a muffled response from behind the door into Merlin's room. There was then a quiet thudding sound, as though someone fell and then shuffled around.
Gwen walked into Merlin's room to find him on the floor, hastily turning around to face her. "Oh-- Uh, hi!"
She frowned at him. "What are you doing?"
"I fell when I was trying to get my book," he said bashfully, pointing under the bed. "And then I hit my head."
"How did you-- Oh, nevermind. How are you doing?" Gwen asked, sitting down on the edge of Merlin's bed.
"I'm fine. Why?"
"Oh, I just wanted to check on you. You seemed tense," Gwen said with a comforting smile.
"Thanks Gwen," Merlin said, smiling back at her. "But it's nothing, really. It's just a bit strange, being bonded to Arthur."
"I would imagine it to be. What does the soul-bond feel like?" Gwen asked. She wondered if he could feel Arthur's emotions, like Arthur could feel his.
"Well, it's a little bit hard to breathe right now. It's like my chest compresses the further I get from Arthur," Merlin said, reaching out to get the book from under his bed. "And I can also feel what he's feeling. His emotions."
"Arthur can also feel yours. Morgana explained that the two of you might be able to hear each other's thoughts as well," Gwen explained.
"... Yeah-- I can kinda hear his thoughts. Sometimes. Like just now, he thought 'Morgana must be addled in the head.' I wonder what she said."
Gwen laughed. "Wouldn't it be rather awkward if the two of you were having a conversation, and Arthur thought something rude of you, and you'd know about it?"
"Oh, Arthur doesn't just think rude things, he just says them," Merlin said with a choked laugh.
Gwen opened her mouth to say something, but was interrupted by Arthur very nearly kicking the door to Merlin's room down and barging inside. He looked annoyed, glaring at Merlin.
"Merlin, is it possible for you to feel any happier? Because I can hardly think straight with you overflowing with emotion," Arthur growled, crossing his arms.
"... Sorry? I can't not feel things," Merlin retorted, pouting at Arthur.
"Then tone it down a little bit," Arthur said, frown deepening.
"How am I supposed to do that? I'll just... I'll just try to mute the emotions more. I mean, I'm already preventing us from hearing each other's thoughts. It can't be much harder."
"Do that. And, have you found anything on how to remove the soul-bond?"
Gwen flushed lightly. "I'm sorry. I may have kept him from looking."
Arthur looked at Gwen, nodding slightly, then turned back to Merlin. "Make sure you find something within the next week."
Merlin sighed and nodded, looking down at the book in his lap. He flipped open the cover, staring blankly down at the first page. He heard Arthur march out of the room, and looked over at Gwen with slightly nervous eyes.
"Do you think you'll find a way to break the soul-bond?" she asked him, patting his shoulder.
"I... I'm not that hopeful. It's never been heard of," Merlin replied with another sigh, shaking his head and looking out the window. "I don't know what Arthur will do if I can't find a way to break the bond."
"He'll come around eventually," Gwen murmured. "He usually does, given time. He trusts you."
"... Sometimes." Merlin's lips thinned into a line, and he looked back at Gwen.
Gwen shifted, wringing her hands. "Don't think so harshly of him, Merlin. Give him time," she repeated. And with that, she stood up, smiled at Merlin, and then walked out of the room, leaving him to his search.
<<+>>
In two days time, Merlin found himself pacing Arthur's chambers, with Arthur sat at the head of the table, and Morgana standing off to the side with a concerned gaze. The warlock had his arms crossed tightly in front of his chest, lips pressed in a thin line bordering on a frown.
"So you still haven't found a way to break the soul-bond?" Arthur drawled harshly, his eyes narrowed as he watched Merlin pace, fingers drumming a steady beat into the table.
"Arthur, I told you before. There isn't a way to break a soul-bond," Morgana said, frowning at her half-brother. "Don't take it out on Merlin."
Arthur huffed and leaned back, thumping into the back of his chair, pulling his hands to the armrests. "There needs to be a way. You've told me the effects, dear sister," he said, turning his head to stare at her.
Morgana returned his stare, narrowing her eyes just as he had moments before. "The effects are nothing to be afraid of. If anything, it will strengthen your friendship."
"And how would that work? All the soul-bond is going to do is make it severely awkward, as Merlin will be forced to follow me around every hour of the day, or else I can hardly breathe."
Morgana arched an eyebrow pointedly, but Arthur was already looking away. "Merlin, are you absolutely certain there's nothing we can do?"
Merlin stopped pacing at his name, letting out a slow, shaky breath, before walking over to the table, bracing his arms against it as he leaned forwards slightly, eyes on the dark wood. "I think... I think there's only one way. I spoke to Kilgarrah, and he said, cryptically as ever, that there was one cure he had heard of. It's an old ritual, and can only be performed by the fair folk themselves. I found the original tale of the soul-bond and how to break it, but... it's not exactly pleasant."
"And what is that supposed to mean?"
"Well, the story told of a man and his wife. They came to the fae and asked their souls to be bound together for the rest of existence. The fae did it willingly, and the couple were happily married and bound for a few years. And then the man... went off with another woman, breaking his wife's heart. She came back to the fae and asked them to break the bond. They were much more reluctant to do it, but they saw how her heart was horribly broken, and agreed. The thing is, there were horrific side effects." Merlin unfolded a piece of parchment that neither of the Pendragons had noticed him carrying. "The man and the woman were both haunted by the voices of everyone they had ever loved, they were both blinded, and they ability to speak was taken away."
"... Ah. So, there's no way to do the ritual without those side effects?" Arthur asked, still persistent.
"Not as far as anyone knows. It's really strange, how the fae will gladly perform a soul-bonding ritual with hardly any afterthought, but then refuse to have a kinder way of breaking the bond," Merlin said, staring down at the parchment in his hands.
"The fae are like that. Now, are we done with this whole conversation? I'd like it very much if you two would calm down about the bond, and we could move on," Morgana spoke over Arthur, shooting him a glare.
"Very well. Don't think we're done with this-- Merlin, do more research, whatever you can find," Arthur said, standing up. "You are both dismissed."
Morgana's mouth opened, her eyes wide and cold. "Did you ever hear--" she began, but Merlin grabbed her and dragged her out of Arthur's chambers.
"Don't try and stop him. I have no idea why he's so tense about the soul-bond, but all I've been feeling from him is stress and apprehension," Merlin told her after the doors had closed behind them, and they were now standing in the hallway.
"He's being an utter idiot. You should have let me talk some sense into him," Morgana said with a cold stare, crossing her arms.
"Arthur's a stubborn prat. When he gets his mind set on something, he won't give it up easily. It's best to just do as he says until he finally gives up forgets about it."
"You just said he won't give up easily."
"I know."
<<+>>
After weeks of stress, harsh words, and anger, Merlin was fed up. He was currently walking briskly to the outer walls of Camelot's citadel, clutching his cloak around his face. He'd have to sneak past the guards this time-- he couldn't just walk out as he usually did. Arthur had banned him from leaving the citadel after dark, for some unknown reason.
On second thought, maybe that was Morgana's doing. She knew that he'd do anything to help Arthur, even if that meant going to the fae and demanding they break the bond.
Merlin was doing exactly that, but he wasn't going to let them hurt Arthur. He was going to force them to break the bond without hurting his king, even if that meant he'd be reduced to nothing.
He gritted his teeth, eyes glowing a brighter gold to conceal how far he was from the castle. He was doing his best to make it seem like he was still in his rooms, but that was going to grow harder the farther he got from them. Arthur had begun being able to sense where he was, which meant the bond was growing stronger, and overwhelming his magic. Merlin knew that time was running out the break the soul-bond.
Ducking to the side, Merlin looked around, waiting for the shift change, which is when the guards would be the most distracted. He'd already enchanted his boots to not leave footprints, and his cloak to conceal sound.
It only took a few moments until he saw the cluster of guards, joking about something and laughing loudly. It seemed like it was a rather slow night, with nothing happening, as they weren't paying attention to anything right now. Merlin took the chance to slip out, through a more or less concealed passage.
He ran into the woods, feeling his chest constrict and pull him back towards the castle. His instinct was to go back to Arthur, to run all the way up to his chambers and curl up in the bed right next to his king, which was the exact opposite of what he needed to do.
It didn't take long for Merlin to find himself deep in the forest, feeling traces of magic beginning to reach out towards him. He looked around, holding out his hand, watching as the branches of a tree reached out towards him.
"I know you're here," he called out to no one, turning in a slow circle as the strange magic surrounded him. "And you know what I want."
"But you know we cannot give what you ask from us." Came a disembodied voice, ringing out around Merlin, in the trees, from the ground, in his head.
"Yes, you can. You removed the spell for the broken couple, in the story." Merlin dropped his hand, still turning slowly. "I know about the side effects, and I ask that you let Arthur free. I'll take whatever punishment you deem necessary."
"Are you so desperate to break one of the many bonds that bind you and the Once and Future King? We have only added power to your destiny, Emrys. Even the Fair Folk wouldn't disrupt destiny."
"We didn't ask for the bond. We weren't in our right minds. Have you seen how Arthur has been acting? Despite you saying you wouldn't disrupt destiny, all you've done is break our friendship," Merlin said, his voice breaking slightly. "All you've done is make it harder for me to protect Arthur."
There was a tinkling laugh that sounded a lot like a wind chime. "If the king cannot see the many bonds you share, he's a fool."
"Don't. Don't try and laugh this off. Just break the bond!" Merlin's temper was flaring, golden lines swirling down from the corner of his eyes, sliding down his skin and vanishing under his neckerchief. "Or I swear-- I swear you'll regret creating it in the first place."
He felt the magic around him grow denser, a soft hiss swirling around him. He gritted his teeth, hands curling into fists at his side, but then he relaxed, exhaling sharply. He needed to stay calm enough-- he couldn't let his anger control his response. His patience and strength was stretched so thin that he didn't know what would happen if he lost control right now.
"Don't threaten us, Emrys. No need to resort to violence in order to get what you want. It's rather childish."
"You shouldn't force me to resort to violence," Merlin snapped, eyes flaring brighter again. "Break the bond."
"Very well, Emrys." The statement was followed by a laugh. "But don't blame us when you regret it."
<<+>>
Arthur was about to send a search party, slamming his hands down on the round table, teeth bared in a snarl as he glared at his knights. "What do you mean you couldn't find him? He's not allowed to leave the citadel!"
Leon didn't flinch, good on him for having enough confidence (or being able to fake it), but he still inhaled sharply, and it looked like his eye may have twitched. "The guards reported nothing throughout the night, Sire. However, Merlin is a sorcerer, as you very well know. He could probably, easily enough, get past our guards-- that's not a great thing, in so many ways."
Just as Arthur was about to respond, a couple of guards came bursting into the throne room. Arthur was about the snap at them, but then they saw that they were supporting someone between them. "What's going on?"
And then he saw Merlin lift his head, his eyes a glassy, fogged over blue. He opened his mouth to speak, but no sound came out, his face contorting in an expression of resigned fear.
"Mer-- Merlin?" He walked around the round table, knowing that the knights were watching him. "Merlin? What happened to you?"
Merlin just stared blankly at him, but it looked like he was staring into empty space, and didn't respond to Arthur's question. He let out a breath and slumped forwards, hanging his head again.
Arthur reached out, and then dropped his arm, ordering, "This meeting is dismissed. Follow me-- and Quentin, send for Gaius." He turned to look back at the guard, who nodded.
Arthur rushed out of the room, shoving the doors open much more forcefully than needed (how cliche is that). He walked along the hallways at a near jog, with the two hassled guards followed along behind him, doing their best to drag Merlin along with them without injuring him.
Soon the group burst into Arthur's chambers, the king directing the guards to lay Merlin down on his bed, and then he paced over to the door, looking like he was going to commit a murder if Gaius didn't arrive within the next few minutes. He was in luck, however, as Quentin came rushing up with Gaius following him at a distance, Vince beside him loaded down with supplies.
Arthur let Gaius into the room without any words, letting the physician examine Merlin silently. The king crossed his arms and watched him work from a slight distance, eyes squinted in concern. He didn't understand what was happening-- what exactly had happened to Merlin when he had left the castle.
"It's magic, isn't it?" Purely habit, but also a true suspicion.
Gaius was quiet for a moment, before nodding gravely. "I wish it wasn't, Sire. It's powerful magic, and has severely harmed Merlin."
Arthur inhaled sharply, clenching his jaw, and then exhaled harshly, averting his gaze from Merlin's still form on the bed. He subconsciously realized that all of the guards had left the room, leaving just him, Gaius, and his injured friend, but his conscious mind was running wild with every scenario that could have happened to Merlin. It didn't take long for the realization to hit him, said realization causing him to jolt, spine stiffening up.
"He went to the fae," Arthur stated, turning to Gaius. "I can't-- I can't sense him anymore. I should've noticed... I think I stopped being able to sense him sometime this morning? At least when I awoke. Maybe that's why I thought that this was more serious than it should've seemed."
"That could be the case, Sire," Gaius said, not looking up from where he patted a damp cloth on Merlin's forehead. The warlock was conscious, but quite out of it, not seeming to be able to focus on either of the people in the room, saying nothing and just staring up into space.
Arthur realized how his line of thought was wrong. "He can-- He can hear everything we're saying, can't he?"
Seemingly in response, Merlin turned towards Arthur, his eyes still unfocused and staring somewhere slightly to his right, and nodded. Arthur stiffened, sucking in a deep breath and holding it, looking away from Merlin. He closed his eyes and ran a hand over his face, exhaling the breath he had been holding. He couldn't believe that Merlin had gone back to the fae and broken the soul-bond. It took him a moment to think back to what Merlin had told him a few weeks ago, the story about the couple that tried to break their soul-bond, and the consequences that befell them.
He opened his eyes and looked back towards Merlin, who was staring blankly back up at the ceiling, unseeing. Arthur reached out, grabbing his friend's hand, starting to speak.
"Merlin, what did you do?" he rasped, voice rough with emotion as he held back tears, knowing that Gaius was in the room. Then, after that thought, Gaius cleared his throat quietly, moving towards the door.
"I want to ask Morgana about fae culture. She would know much more than I do," he said, with a glance at Merlin before he walked out the door, closing it quietly behind him. Arthur watched him go, waiting only until he heard the elderly physician's footsteps shuffling away before turning back to Merlin, slumping over him and resting his forehead on the bed next to Merlin's side, knees hitting the floor rather painfully.
"You broke the soul-bond, and yet I'm not suffering the consequences. Did you do this? Did you prevent the fae from making me pay the price? Merlin..." Arthur trailed off, lifting his head enough to look at Merlin's face, which had turned towards him, sightless eyes welling up with tears about to fall. "You didn't have to do this. I never wanted you to risk your well being just to break the bond. I'd come to terms with it."
Merlin couldn't respond, but he lifted his left arm, hand reaching out in Arthur's general direction. Arthur took his hand and brought it to his cheek, holding it there as Merlin cried silently, breath hitching with sobs.
"Shh. It's-- It's all right. We can fix this. I'll take care of you," Arthur murmured, leaning forwards, hesitating for only a second before pressing his lips briefly to Merlin's forehead. He could tell that Merlin was caught off guard by the act of affection, but his mouth slowly started to spread into a smile, tears still in his eyes but ceasing to fall.
Everything would be all right.
<< well, it's done now. i'm not at all happy with how it turned out but it's finally done. but!! i have some more ideas on what to write and i'm looking forwards to them much more than this oneshot. anyways, adios sweets! >>