After two days of no work and no school, I decided that I needed to go back. I didn't want to go back, not at all. But I needed to. What I want is to just stay curled up against one of my soulmates and let them help me feel safe. Unfortunately, they don't exactly go to my university.
The boys had driven me home this morning. It took me a solid thirty minutes to convince them to leave me alone. I told them that I would get ready as fast as I can so I could be around people I know sooner. The people I know being the crackheads I call friends.
So, once they left I began to get ready. Walking into the bathroom, I headed straight towards my makeup. I grabbed my concealer, looking up into the mirror and glaring at the marks on my neck. They still haven't faded at all. Not one bit. Carefully, I dot the concealer on then blend it in so it looks natural. I don't want anyone seeing these.
Speeding to the kitchen, I grab a cup of coffee and a piece of bread. I eat the bread quickly then grab my backpack, rushes out the door of my apartment and locking it behind me. I speed to my car, jumping in and beginning to drive towards the university. I put on songs trying to calm me down. A song called Just Breathe by Pearl Jam came on, so I hummed along and eventually began to calm down.
I reach the school and park my car, heading to the cafe. I need more caffeine, so I get another cup of coffee then head to where my friends and I normally meet. I sigh in relief when I see them all there. They seemed to be in a deep conversation, so I clear my throat to get their attention. "Uh, hi."
Their heads shoot to look at me, Jade's face breaking out into a huge smile. "Y/N!"
Jade runs over to hug me, which I can usually deal with, but not today I guess. I stiffen up and cannot bring myself to unfreeze. Jade notices this. "Are you okay, Y/N?"
When Jade pulls away, I break from my trance and rushing my respond. "Yeah, I'm totally fine. Just haven't felt great these last few days, is all."
"Okay then," Sam hums. "Now, where the hell were you?!"
"And why didn't you answer any of our calls or texts?" Matt finishes.
I take a sharp breath and move a step back. "I was just sick and was basically sleeping the entire time. I'm sorry."
Jace sighs. "While I do believe you are hiding something, i speak for everyone when we say we forgive you. Now, let's get to class."
The others leave ahead of me, but I stood still in my spot. Class means seeing David, and I don't want to see him ever again.
Matt notices me stop and stops as well. "Hey, are you coming?"
I unfreeze and look up at him. "Yeah yeah I'm coming."
I slowly make my way towards my friends, then we head towards the classroom. My shaky hands are clenched by my side. We make it to the room and I look in, scanning the room with a fearful gaze. When I cannot seem to find David, I walk in and take my seat. My heart slows its pounding and I let out a sigh of relief. I slump in my seat and pull out what I need for class.
Then, just like my luck would allow, David walks in right before the professor. He doesn't look over to me, but that doesn't matter. I shrink in on myself and my hands begin to shake again. I shut my eyes and put my head down on the desk, trying to steady my breathing.
Fuck fuck fuck. I need to calm down. I need to calm down.
I keep my eyes squeezed shut, pressing my head further into my arms that are laying on the desk. My hands start to shake more violently and tears begin to fill my eyes. I repeatedly open and close my mouth, gulping down breaths of air and trying to stay quiet. When the professor begins to speak, I flinch and shoot my head up. I look around frantically, no one noticing my actions yet. Then, I come eye to eye with David. He is looking directly into my eyes with his raging ones. My breathing just stops, and I can't move.
Suddenly, his eyes harden and his mouth curls up into a twisted smirk. My face pales and my hands grip the desk, trying to steady my shaking body. He keeps his eyes on me, staring me down with a calculating gaze. Out of no where, I feel a tap on my shoulder causing me to jump and whip my head around, only to come face to face with Jace.
"Y/N, are you okay? You look fucking terrified."
Unable to speak, I slowly nod my head.
I need my boys. I really really need them.
I turn back to face the front and try to focus on the professor. Painfully, I force myself to look forward, not allowing my body to turn to the side. I do NOT want to keep looking over at that asshole. I am safe in a crowd, he can't hurt me while we are in here. At least, that's what I keep telling myself. I need to get out of here.
I try to take notes, but I can't read them. My hands are shaking too much for them to be legible. The professor finally finishes his presentation after an hour and half, so I quickly put up my stuff and rush out of the room, leaving my friends behind. I sprint to the bathroom in the hall and hurry into a stall, slamming the door shut behind me. I put the seat down and sit, placing my head between my knees in order to calm my breathing, however it isn't working. My body continues to shake and my breathing continues to hyperventilate. My shaky hands pull out my phone from my pocket, hurriedly searching for one of the boys' contacts. Finally, after what seemed like hours of being unable to press it because of my hands, I am able to press one of their contacts, Felix's to be precise.
[Y/N will be in bold, Felix in italics- the entire convo will be in Korean tho.]
"Hello?"
"Fel-Felix"
"Y/N? Oh god, are you okay?"
My entire body is just shaking violently at this point. I shut my eyes and start to whimper.
"Y/N? Please talk to me baby."
"Can't breathe-breathe. Help-p."
"Baby, I need you to focus on me okay? Focus on my voice."
"I'll-I'll t-t-try."
"Good, now just follow my breathing, okay? Deep breath in then let it out."
Felix begins to take deep breaths on the other side of the line, making them loud so I can copy. Although it takes a while, I slowly begin to match his breathing.
"Good job. Your such a strong prince/princess. Now, are you calmed down any more?"
My body had stopped shaking so bad, but my hands were still terrible. So bad, I almost dropped my phone a few times.
"I'm still-still shaking."
"Okay baby, can you put your phone on speaker and set it down near you?"
"Yeah."
I do what he asked and set my phone on my backpack that sat on the floor in front of me.
"Okay sweetheart. Curl your hands up and hold them to your chest. I want you to focus on my voice again, and stop focusing on your hands. I promise this will work."
"Okay, I did it."
"Okay. Baby, I want you to know how brave you are. You are so strong and we are so proud of you. I understand you are scared, but you went back so fast and that's so amazing. You surprise us all the time, and we couldn't be happier now that we have found you. I want you to know that we will always protect you and that we care so much about you. We love you so so much."
My body stopped shaking about halfway through Felix's speech and my hands are now barely shaking. But now, I have happy tears in my eyes.
"You-you guys love me?"
"We do baby. We love you so much."
"I love you guys too."
"Sweetheart, how many more classes do you have today?"
"One, and I don't think he is in that one."
"Okay, are you working today?"
"No, I didn't think I'd be able to do school and the bakery today. And I think it was a good call."
"Okay baby, we are gonna pick you up after your next class. I don't want you driving."
"But I brought my car today."
"You could give the keys to one of us and we will drive it, okay?"
"Okay. I need to get to my next class now. Thank you so much Felix."
"Okay darling, have a good next class. Bye bye."
"Bye."
I hung up and slowly got up, unlocking the door to the stall and walking out of it and the bathroom. I speed walk to my next class and sit down. The class went by extremely slow, but it eventually ended and I headed to the front of the school, seeing the boys already there waiting. I rushed over and went straight to Felix, practically tackling him in a hug.
"Thank you so much," I mumble into his chest.
He wraps his arms right around me. "No problem darling. I'm so happy I could help."
I pulled away and turned to face the other boys, giving each of them a smile.
Chan spoke up. "Are you ready to go home?"
I nod.
"I think I'm the one that will drive your car, so can I have the keys baby?" Changbin asked.
I hand him the keys and give him a soft kiss on the cheek. Pulling away quickly.
Before we can leave, however, someone clears their throat behind us.