15th April 1979 (Three months later)
Lillianes POV
A lot changed. A lot. Freddie is back home in less than a day and managed to stop by a few days during little breaks. I tried to out go conversations, when he was at my place to see the babies,we were never alone, James or Phoebe were always there. I am scared to face him. I said such horrible things to him but I didn't thought of it back then. I am embarassed. It's still hard for me to look at the kids but James forced me to go to therapy and I am thankfull that he did. therapy helped me a lot also to learn that Freddie didn't know what to do. It's not his fault and I finally realised that, I'll change a few words with him after tour.
Neil, Garry, Dad and Clarie visited a few times and I've told them that I'll be fighting in the Olympics this year. They were sceptical but remeber when I said that movement is my way out of pain? Exactly. Right after the doctors told me that I could be active again I decided I will. I am training against Garrys will with him.
Garry, Neil and the others were against it but its one of the only things which can save me. I've been at the Dojang for at least 5 times a week to get back into shape again. I've risen by one weightclass because of the skin on my stomach but it's fine.
With the babies its just hard when they have a anniversary or when they have to go to the doctor or hospital for check ups. I have nightmares and still am kinda absent and snappy. I try to hold it back because I don't want the triplets to get snappy.
Taekwondo was always a way to let out my emotions in anyway, doesn't matter which emotions.
The babies are currently sleeping, it's what they do probably all day. They've been more active when in my belly.
It's 5pm and I am packing my Taekwondo bag. James and Ben are watching the kids while I am away. James offered me to drive but I said no, because running to the dojang isn't a bad thing I guess. I was wearing sweatpants, a sports jacket with my clubs logo and sunglasses with a winter hat so those paparazzi wouldn't annoy me.
I hurried dowmstairs amd quickly gave my three angels a kiss onto the cheek.
"Bye, James, Bye Ben!" I said and quickly opened the door, I walked down the few stairs and starting to speed up and run to the Dojang.
I sprinted the last few metres and when I was there Garry already waited for me.
"Hey." I said.
"Hey Lilliane." He said. "How are the kids?" He asked.
"Great." I said and quickly rushed down the stairs to the changing rooms. I changed into my dobok and already put on my full fighting stuff. When I came back I also saw a few other students, already putting on their stuff too.
"Hi." I said quickly and they all smiled. They were pretty young, like 11-17 years old I guess.
"National team training is now on thursdays and sundays, until the olympics." Garry said and I nodded.
"Who is my first fight, against?" I asked.
"Sofia from Spain." He said and I nodded.
"Ahh the one from the World cup?" I asked and he nodded. We did a quick warm up, together with the other students. I chose a girl which looked the youngest from the group, to train with. She was shorter than me and was blonde. We greeted each other and then started with the first few exercises. Of course I didn't kick as hard as I could, but she was good. Her name was Anna I think. I like training with the younger ones, it's more fun.
"Good one." I mumbled, complimenting one of her kick combos.
"Thanks." She smiled proudly.
"How old are you?" I asked while doing my combo.
"Nine." She said and I was suprised. She was way to tall and feminine for her age.
"You look like your at least 12." I said as she did her technique.
"Yeah I know, good for me I guess." She chuckled and I nodded. We continued with the training, changing partners throughout. The training wasn't hard, it was just to improve our kicks.
I have to say Anna was very good. I think she has potential. Definetly. We finished training with making the little ritual,like we do before every and after every training. I said goodbye to the students group and hurried into the dressing room. I had to hurry up because Lily,Henry and Jamie wouldn't feed themselves.
Not that I left them starving, I gave James milk and all that,but still.
I jumped under the shower right there and quickly washed my hair and body. I was finished soon and wrapped a towel around my body. I slipped into my panties and put on my bra when the other girls came in.
"Hi." I said slipping into a highwaisted pair of leggins and a tight turtle neck. I put our club jacket over and made my way out of the dressing room, with my bag, after spraying on a little parfume.
"Bye girls." I said smiling and they all said a little goodbye. I hurried out and walked past Garry, he gave me a quick hug and we said a goodbye quickly too. The Dojang luckily is just about 10 minutes away from home and if I sprint I'll be there in 5 minutes at least.
I decided to sprint and I did arrive pretty early. I stopped infront of the little house and took a deep breath in. I walked up to the front door when I suddently noticed a black, nice and familiar car parked infront of my place.
I turned to the door again and opened it with the keys. I immediatly rushed to my room to sort my stuff out and put it into the washing mashine.
"Lil-" I heard James say but I kept walking because I'll be back any minute anyway. I rushed into my room,taking my dobok and stuffing it into the washing mashine. I turned it on and then went to the bathroom to wash my hands. Two minutes later I rushed to the living area again with my head down for whatever reason.
"Yeah James?" I already called in the hallway. I revived no answer so I walked right into the living room and there was nobody. Almost. I saw a blackhaired man with my daughter in his arms. My heart made a little jump but I held myself back.
Lil he didn't protect you!
But he was in shook!
I shrugged and he turned around to face me and he looked suprised too. Lily was sleeping very soundly in his arms and she literally looked like an angel. Jamie was sleeping and Henry was awake, but quiet.
Freddie and I just looked at each other when he stood up and I took a step back. He put Lily into her crib and walked torwards me slowly. I wanted to back away, but he didn't deserve that. I gulped and decided to stand still. I looked down as he came nearer.
"Come on, sit down." I said nervously as we sat down opposite from each other. I was still looking down. I didn't know what to do.
"Lilliane, I-I ah I am sorry, really I want everything to be fine-" He started but I shook my head amd he shut up.
"I am the one who should be sorry." I said looking down onto my hands, who were playing with a little piece of paper to get distracted from my nervousness.
"Why? I-I promised you to-to-" He started but shut himself up to let me talk.
"I uhm I realised that it isn't your fault, Freddie I am sorry for giving you the fault on everything that happened." I mumbled. "I know that you were in shook and all that." I sighed.
"Lil, I- ah i-it's fine, really." He said kinda suprised.
"No it's not, Freddie all this time we should've supported each other after what happened but instead I turned you down. I said such horrible things, I get it when you don't want me anymore." I said.
"It's been hard, really." He said. "You know, touring for me is hard anyways you know how much I missed you." He sighed. "But we aren't the only two people in this family. We have three children, Lil,three." He said. We were a family, a real family.
"You are right." I said looking up at him. He was looking me straight into my eyes.
"Lilliane you are the only woman I want." He said and it kinda suprised after what I said to him.
This man loves me???
"Freddie you don't have to-" I started but he cut me off.
"No,Lil it's true." He said. "I am glad to be back, and to be here with you." He took my hands and covered them with his large hands. "Let's try, okay, for us and for our babies." He begged.
"Of course." I said on the verge of tears and with a smile, probably the only real one since the birth. "I promise, I'll never be like that again, Freddie I love you and I always will, no matter what."
"I love you too Lil." He smiled and we both stood up. We looked at each other and then hugged tightly. I wrapped my hands around his neck and he wrapoed his around my back. I burried my face in his neck as I was standing on my tippy toes.
I am so glad to have him back. I didn't think he'd crack me up so fast. James needed so much time to get normal with me again but Freddie just comes back from tour and just like that, he has me on his side.
This man is changing me, in a good way of course, and I love it.
"I missed you." I said, pulling back with a bright smile.
"I missed you guys too." He said as we walked over to the cribs.
"They grew so much." He said.
"Hmmh, I know, especially Jamie grew very much, since he was the smallest." I said kinda blankly. I love my children but its still kinda hard. "But Henry is the biggest so far." I said.
"Hmmmh." He nodded. "Lily is also doing good, I see." He said and he couldn't hide a smile. He was happy to have a girl.
"They all look the same though." I said and couldn't help but chuckle.
"Yup." Freddie laughed too. "Good that we have nametags on the cribs."
"Yeah, Jamie has a little birthmark on his leg though and Henry has one behind his left ear." I said and I couldn't help to hide my smile. Freddie could make me smile about out children."Anyways I decided to keep Lily in yellow, Jamie in green and Henry in blue, for now." I said and he nodded.
"I see, I see." He smiled. "They are beautiful." He said also with teary eyes.
"Like their father." I mumbled and started to blush when I realised that I said it out loud. I've been thinking about Freddie the last few months, I've told myself that I wasn't missing him but that was a lie. I realised today that I need him.
"Thank you, but the beauty comes from their mother." He smiled, but we both shrugged around when we heard steps behind us. James and Ben walked up behind us.
"Lil, oh I thought, you'd shower here, only if I would've known." He said and he was obviously lying and I knew that he set it up.
"I'll have a second thought about who's gonna be Godfather, but thank you." I said giving him a hug.
"What about me though?" Ben said.
"You'll have to find another husband." I shrugged with a smirk.
"For real though, can we even be Godparents because you guys are Parsi, we are not." James asked.
"It doesn't have to be a religious ritual does it?" I shrugged.
"Exactly." Ben said looking at James. James made a silly face at him and he couldn't help but laugh.
"Who will we have?" James then asked.
"We'll see about that." Freddie said already protective over his only girl. James looked at me amd I shrugged.
"Ahm why are you- like how- why aren't you home?" I asked Freddie.
"I thought, I'll stop by. James and Ben want to have some privacy how about if you move right in....it's easier, you know." Freddie shrugged and all eyes were on me.
"Well- ahhhhh I- uhmmm." I started because it was a big question.
"Phoebe is also home to help you." He said.
"Ahm I-" I started. Yeah its better for the kids, here it is to crowded. I can't always think selfish, I have to think about the babies.
"I don't want to push you-" He started but I cut him off. Why am I even sceptical, Freddie is the person, I love and trust.
"Yeah no, I'll move in." I said with a smile.
"Thank you." Freddie whispered with a smile.
"Okay I'll pack your stuff okay????" James said already walking into my bedroom.
"Glad to have me gone aren't you?" I said with a smirk.
This was a lot for today. Mum let this go well.