The sound of whispers reaching my ears told me I didn't die in my sleep. I sat up slowly and tried to listen closely to the voices.
They were coming from all over the room. Some unintelligible, some so quiet you wouldn't care to try and listen. They all said different things.
"I bet they're after you."
"I wonder if they'll kill you in your sleep.."
"Poison is in the air!"
Why was I hearing all of this? This doesn't make any sense. Who's after me?
"What do want?" I asked.
The voices just got louder and louder. More words and phrases. All telling some story of my timely demise.
Hot tears started to fall down my face. How couldn't the guards hear? Why weren't they telling the voices to stop? Maybe the guards were in on it. Maybe they were the voices.
"Maybe slitting your wrists will help," once voice whispered.
"Yeah, maybe," I muttered.
I mindlessly searched the room. I needed something sharp. If I cut myself the voices would stop.
I hurried over to the desk. Pencil. Not sharp enough. Ruler. Could break it, but would make too much noise.
My eyes set on the handheld pencil sharpener. Perfect. I struggled to get the blade out of it.
"Faster Evie- Weavie," a voice teased, "Hurry up!"
I tossed the sharpener to the ground and smashed the flimsy plastic with my boot. I gripped the blade and held it to my left wrist.
"One long cut down each wrist."
"Hurry up Evie!"
"Nobody wants you anyway."
"They'll get you if you don't"
Breathing hard I smashed the blade into my soft skin. Just as I was about to drag the blade down my wrist a scream made me drop it.
I turned around and a dark-skinned girl was shoved into my room. Her short, dark curls outlined her tear-stained face. Her clothes were covered in dirt and blood. She was beautiful despite it all though. Even as she slid down the metal door and cried.
She turned to me, "They killed her! They killed my girlfriend!"
My eyes widened. I didn't know what to say to comfort her. What scared me even more though, was that the voices were gone.
It seemed as if my body moved on its own though as I walked over to the girl and hugged her.
She sobbed into me as I sat there uncomfortable and scared. How did this girl survive? Why was she here?
When it seemed her sobs had stopped I pulled away from her body.
"What's your name?" I asked.
"Essence. What's your name?"
"I'm Evelyn. I'm so sorry about your girlfriend. They killed a lot of people I loved too."
She sighed, "I had nobody but her. My parents hated the idea of us and kicked me out at sixteen. We ran away to the outside. No with the exiled people, just away. We had built a nice sop in the woods. The Town knew, but let us as long as we kept up without duties. Then everybody got massacred. We heard screams and tried to help. But they killed without mercy."
She choked as tears swam in her eyes.
"They killed her right in front of me. Slit her throat. I tried to save her, but I couldn't. I watched the life leave her eyes," she paused for a moment as if remembering what happened, "They were coming back so I hid. I hid underneath her dead body. I tried to attack one of the guards when they came by but they caught me and brought me here."
I gave her a sad smile, "They killed my parents, I wasn't there but I just know they're dead. And they killed a little girl I tried to save right in front of me. Then, I went with them so that they wouldn't kill my-my boyfriend."
The word slipped out of my lips, but I knew it was close to being true. Well, maybe not, but it felt nice to imagine. Not to mention I conveniently left out the spot where I killed a man. I didn't want this girl to think I was crazy. Or maybe I just didn't want to believe I was.
"Have you tried escaping yet? I'm sure we can get out and maybe we can save your boyfriend too."
She began to walk around the room and try the window. That's when she noticed the bloodied blade on the ground. She looked at the small cut going down my wrist.
"Were you-"
She noticed the tears in my eyes.
"Oh my, I'm so selfish! I should have noticed you dropped it. Are you okay, baby?"
I shook my head, coming to terms with the truth. I had spent so much time pretending I was. Covering everything up deep inside of me. But the truth was, I was anything but okay. I think she could tell I wasn't the hugging type as she gave me a sad smile.
"I've been there. When my parents said I couldn't be with Rosaline I was heart-broken. They found me in the bathroom and rushed me to the hospital. When I saw her crying I knew I could never do that to her. I realized that no matter what was going on things were going to get better," her eyes clouded over, "Things were good for so long. Today was her twenty-second birthday."
She giggled as she thought about her lost love.
"She always made fun of me for being two years younger. God, I miss her. But honey, what I'm trying to say is, this isn't the way."
"But the voices, they got so loud. All of them were telling me that was the way."
She sighed yanking on one of her curls, "They can be convincing huh? What if, when you hear them you tell me and we'll distract you? You are worth it. You deserve to live."
It was like her words questioned everything I had ever thought about myself. But she was so wrong, I deserved nothing. I deserved to suffer. I deserved to die. I had killed a man.
"Can you tell me what you're thinking?"
I took a deep breath, "I'm thinking that I deserve to suffer and die. That the voices were right. I caused so much pain for everybody and me- and I-"
She nodded, "You can tell me. It's okay."
"I killed somebody. They were trying to kill her and I couldn't let them. I killed him. I deserve to die!"
She didn't say anything. Just a little gasp. Anything would be better than the defending silence surrounding us. Yelling or even fear would be better, but only silence was there.
"You hate me now don't you?"
She shook her head and my eyes widened.
"I killed somebody too," she whispered, "I did it to protect Rosaline. I thought you'd be scared of me if I told you. Maybe- maybe that's why we're here."
I knew why we were here already. I guess now was the time to explain to her as well.
"I know why we're here. My old friend Alistar kind of works for them I guess. He was sent to be my friend so that they could make me their perfect weapon."
Essence looked at me confused, "Uh, no offense, but what does this have anything to do with me?"
I gave her a pointed look and continued, "Do you remember the procedure everybody gets to take out the part of their brain that controls aggression?"
She nodded.
"Well, it doesn't work for some people. It didn't work for my boyfriend, it didn't work for me, and something tells me it didn't work for you either. That's why they want us. To turn us into weapons."
We just looked at each other for a while. There wasn't much to say I guess. I had just told her crazy people wanted to turn her into a weapon.
There were so many feelings flowing through me. I couldn't express everything, or even one thing, I was feeling if I wanted to. Everything was just too much. If I could just pause everything for a while maybe I could figure it out. Honestly, it felt like life was going a hundred miles per hour and I was stuck in quicksand. Slowly drowning in the severity of everything I didn't understand.
"All right then," she said exasperated, "Do you know anything else?"
I thought back, all I knew was that they injected me with something. I guessed that helped to control me better or something?
"All I know is that they injected me with something. I'm not sure what is what or what it did, but I think it helped to control me."
Her teeth clenched, "Was it Elder Ryann and some kid?"
"Yeah."
"What's the kid's name?"
I bit down on my bottom lip. Should I tell her? What if she was planning something? Alistair had been a royal, insane person, but he did let me talk to Cade. He knew he could have gotten in trouble, but he did it. But he also brought me here. He also kind of killed Nova.
"Alistair."
"Your crazy ex-friend?" she asked.
I nodded and she paced the room in anger. I turned my head to the window and noticed the rising sun. It was almost time.
I wordlessly walked over to Essence and handed her the note that was given to me earlier. She read it. She took a long, deep breath.
"They're going to inject us soon?"
I nodded mindlessly scratching down my arm. Anxiety crept it's way into my mind making me think of every possible outcome. Why if the injection killed us? What if Cade was dead? What if they forced us to kill people? All of the thoughts followed the same scary wave-length.
"The sun is rising," I pointed out.
Essence turned to the window and it was as if a gust of panic washed over both of us. Essence tried her best to save calm but it was futile. I knew she felt the same way I did.
"What should we do?"
"I want to say we should be badass and escape, but honestly I think that'll just get us killed. I think we should just take the injection. No more pain and suffering for anybody. Maybe it won't be that bad?"
Deep down I did know she was right, but a small part of me still wanted to fight. I squished the fight I had left and nodded in agreement as the sun's rays got brighter.
I sat on the bed waiting for the inevitable. I watched Essence walk over to the desk and pick up my drawing. She studied for a minute. I could tell she had questions about it, but she kept them to herself. She sat down at the desk and began to draw. I could tell by her steady hand, she was much better at drawing than I was.
I walked over to the desk and looked over her shoulder. She had an outline of a woman. I had a guess on who it was but didn't ask. I grabbed my drawing off my desk.
"Is the little girl they one they killed," she murmured.
"Yeah, her name was Nova. The guy on the other side of her is Cade, my boyfriend. This is when we were hiding from the massacre in a cave."
She smiled while continuing her drawing, "You guys must have looked cute together."
I laughed, "We looked like the perfect family. I mean we would have if Cade and I were a bit older, but still."
Tears poked at my eyes again, but I fought them off.
"If only Rosie and I had met you guys before all of this. We could have had our own little family. We always dreamed of having a family."
I smiled at the thought. Two loving parents, a little sister, and my boyfriend all together? A dream. Too bad that's all it was.
"That would have been perfect."
"Yeah," said Essence.
I watched her smudge and crosshatch parts of the picture. It started to look more and more like a woman dancing in a flowing dress. She looked so happy.
"I'm sure you guessed, but that's Rosie. She loved dancing. I never did, but it made her happy when I watched."
A loud slam of the door revealed a large mountain of a man. Both essence and I jumped at the sudden sound.
"What the fuck!" Essence shouted holding up her drawing with a dark mark going through Rosaline's face.
The man didn't react. He just stood there with a note in his outstretched hand. Essence and I looked at each other.
"I'll take that," she said walking to man and ripping the paper from his hand.
She read it out loud, "It's time. Follow Jeremy and don't try anything."