"Sometimes I still think it's coming but I know it's not
Tryin' to breathe in and then out but the air gets caught."
Song: Control ~ Zoe Wees
***
2. To Making New Memories
I slept that evening after Tess left my room and didn't wake up until the next morning. I sighed when I realized I was still in my clothes from the day before. I got up and took a shower in the adjoining bathroom and then got dressed in simple denim shorts and a loose fitting top. I hesitated before opening the door. Going over to my bed, I grabbed the small plastic bag I hid under the mattress and took out a pill, swallowing it dry. That was probably enough to get me through talking to people. I cleaned up and then went downstairs. The heavenly scent of breakfast cooking met me and my brain automatically directed me to the kitchen.
"Morning Shayley!" Tess chirped, munching on a piece of bacon.
I noticed more people were there - Renée and Austin.
"Hi guys," I chuckled.
A part of me felt good seeing them again I wasn't going to lie.
"Shayley," Renée smirked.
The two of us had come to like each other I guess. She wasn't as bad as I used to think she was and she proved that.
"What, Jess finally dumped you?" I asked Austin.
"You wish," he said. "She's coming with Shawn and Khalan."
"Pity," I joked. "I always told her she could do better."
"You love me and you know it," he said.
"Kiss my ass Reed," I joked.
He walked over and enveloped me in the tightest hug. Austin and I had a funny relationship. We loved each other to death but neither of us was going to actually admit that out loud. We bickered all the time but I really wouldn't have had it an other way. He was my brother.
"Jess has really missed you you know? They both have," he said softly, referring to Khalan by saying both.
"I know, so have I," I said.
He stepped back. "I've missed you too."
I smirked. "So have I Reed, believe it or not, so have I."
"Breakfast?" Tess offered.
I nodded and took a seat at the island. "I could eat a horse."
"Okay well stay away from the barn," Liam said.
Jacob chuckled and slid a plate of eggs and bacon to me, a half smile on his face.
"Thanks," I said.
"So what's the agenda for today?" Renée asked.
"Well, you guys are going to get settled and the others are going to arrive later today," Jacob answered.
"And then we can get this fucking show on the road," Liam added, bouncing in his seat.
How was this boy still single?
An idea popped into my head.
"Getting settled? Great. Renée, you're my roommate for the summer," I said.
She chuckled. "Excited aren't we? But okay, I don't mind that."
Like I said, she was a good person. Plus she wasn't going to poke her nose in my business like Khalan and Jessica would. Granted, they would probably share rooms with their boyfriends, but I wasn't going to take that chance.
***
"This place is so peaceful," Renée said as we all lounged around on the front porch.
"I second that," I agreed.
"I figured it's been a while since we've all been in one place at the same time," Jacob said.
"Life changes like that doesn't it?" Austin added.
Liam sat up straight. "Look!"
We all cast our glances toward the road and a cab was pulling up.
"Now it's a party," Renée said excitedly.
The vehicle came to a halt and out stepped Shawn, Khalan and Jess.
Liam ran and jumped up into Shawn's arms.
"Ow," Shawn laughed, stumbling a bit. "Mate, get the fuck off me."
"I've missed you man," Liam said.
"I've missed you too," Shawn replied. "But seriously...I'm about to fall."
Liam detached himself from Shawn and we laughed.
"Oh God Shayley," Jessica said, pulling me into a hug.
"I know, I know, I've been missed," I laughed. "So have you Jess."
"She's not the only one," Khalan jumped in.
I smiled and hugged her as well.
"Look guys, I can explain why-"
Khalan shook her head, cutting me off. "You don't have to explain anything. We're here now, that's all that matters."
"How's um...how's Charlie?" I dared to ask.
She stiffened. "He's okay. He met someone, Emma. She's nice."
"Oh..."
"I'm sorry," she said.
"Don't be," I told her. "I'm happy for him, really."
As much a it pained me that I couldn't be what this Emma was to him I was relieved to know that I hadn't completely broken him.
"For the record he was devastated when you two broke up," she continued.
You mean when I broke up with him and basically cut ties.
I nodded in gratitude and smiled. My eyes finally met Shawn's, and I smiled slightly. He gave me a look which screamed we need to talk , but believe me he was the last person I wanted to talk to, especially with Khalan around.
I know what it looks like, but trust me it's really not. Shawn and I didn't have some secret love affair behind Khalan's back or anything. It was a different situation. I would never do that to my best friend, and Shawn was head over heels in love with her.
"You okay though?" Jess asked me.
I nodded, putting on a full-on smile. "Fine, I promise."
Liar.
*****
We were having a blast that evening. I didn't even take anything, which was an accomplishment in my book. We were sitting on the patio out back reminiscing our high school days.
"You guys seemed to have great adventures," Tess laughed after hearing our camping story.
"The best," Jacob said.
"Well here's to a summer of making new memories," Renée said, raising her cup.
The rest of us did same.
"To making new memories," Austin echoed.
I felt a familiar overwhelming weight on my chest and I excused myself, going inside and into the kitchen. I leaned against the island and closed my eyes before taking a deep breath. I don't even know what could have triggered me. I was genuinely having a good time.
"Calm down Shayley," I whispered to myself as I felt my heart rate increase.
I took in a few more breaths, clinging to the marble top.
My throat was dry, but I felt myself regaining sensation of my surroundings. Everything was going to be okay.
"Shayley?"
Oh for the love of God.
A/N
Hi guys, sorry it took so long to update. Been crazy busy with midterms. All done now, so here you go! Also, I really want to hear your honest opinions on the chapters so I'd love it if you could comment :). Thanks, enjoy!
- amani