Chapter ten-Day ten
Sixth day of the conference in Paris and my sickness is literally a sickness right now, my head feels like it's falling off of my body ugh the feeling.
7:20 am
And I've been up since the time we get back to the hotel last night, luckily Lauren did got a sleep well but me my body feels so sore and so heavy. I'm dying. No I'm joking I just feel sick.
"Y/n?" Lauren suddenly called out.
"Are you up?" She asked again.
I slowly turn myself to face her, an instant smile appear on her face as soon as we faced up each other on the different bed.
"Good morning sweetheart" she said sweetly
At least I let out one realest smile this time.
"Good morning Lauren"
Even if my morning hasn't been a really good one.
But good thing the conference is held today means it's actually a day off for us and it will continue tomorrow.
"Did you sleep well?" She question
"A little bit" frown took upon her face as she asked "why what's wrong?.
I can't tell her I'm sick she might just worry even more...or she won't?
"How was your sleep?" I tried to bring the subject back to her but the girl furrowed her eyebrows in disapproval.
"You didn't answer my question y/n".
"I just couldn't sleep that's all" I shrug then pull the blanket towards me for I am suddenly feeling so much cold, it's like the AC's been turn onto it's coldest volume.
"Sophia had invited me to hang out we should go y/n" she suddenly uttered out seemingly excited. Oh great.
"I think we're going to explore Paris really well for she knows every single places in here" as much as I want to be tentative about what she's saying I don't feel like I'm hearing everything she's currently saying right now.
"That's cool Lauren" was all that came out from my mouth.
The green eyes girl smile widely "yeah she told me to meet her outside at 9 then we can explore outside" does she mean they can explore outside? Yeah I think that's what she meant.
"That's really great Lauren you should totally go" she frowned once again at my words "you won't go with me? But I thought we will explore Paris?" Her tone sounded really disappointed well it's true I do want to explore Paris with her but I was hoping only with her besides I don't think I could go with my condition I felt dizzy.
"I wish I could go Lauren" I tried to force a smile.
"Why won't you want to go? Give me reasons" she demanded with a slight pain in her tone.
Reasons well should I give her three? First because Sophia ask her to hang out but not me second Sophia is trying to have alone time with her third Sophia is so into her fourth I'm sick. I know I just said three but I find more reasons about Sophia why I should not go.
"Baby tell me?" Lauren asked once again.
I grew really comfortable with her calling me that and I know that I should tell her not to call me that but I don't know how anymore.
"Well I have two reasons"
She adjusted herself from the bed and focus on me as she waited for me to utter the words.
"First is because she ask you to hang out and not me" her face seemed to be surprise and upset at the same time.
"Y/n that doesn't mean she don't want you to go with me she probably just forgot"
She's defending her? Ahh right. But I thought I knew the difference between forgot and forget. Nevermind I don't want to argue with her I want to save my strength. My whole body feels like a steamed potato.
"What's your second reason?" She asked.
I took a deep breath before being once real with her as I say "I feel sick Lauren"
She instantly tense up as I said that the girl quickly sit up, "what!? Why didn't you tell me earlier?" She asked in a very freaky worried tone.
"Lauren calm down it's not a big de-" before I could even finish my words Lauren's palm was in my forehead as she feels my temperature against her hand my heart beats fast at the sudden contact.
"You're hot..." She stated "I mean you're really hot but right now it's a different hot"
I chuckle and remove her hands from my forehead "I'm fine jauregui you should go at your hang out it's already eight in the morning don't be late", she frown sadly then slumped her back.
"I can't leave you're sick" Lauren said in a very serious tone. After two years this is once again how Lauren reacted whenever I'm sick...she never change.
"Lauren really it's fine you can go okay? I'd be alright here" I gave her a reassuring smile but instead of getting a nod she pull her phone out and I watch her dial a number then pick it up to her ear.
"Hey? Good morning" she started and me being curious of who she was talking to.
"Yeah about that I can't come today" my eyes widen at realization...could it possibly be?
"Sorry Sophia but maybe next time y/n is sick and I can't leave her side she's important" saying the last part Lauren look at me and our eyes locked, she smile.
"Thank you for understanding have a good day" she ended the call then brought the phone down as she toss it to her bed.
"What?" She asked as I stare at her with an unbelievable look.
"I told you I'd be fine Lauren" I told her but she sternly shook her head.
"No princess I won't let you push me away this time" she sit down beside my bed and stare at me with her warm emerald eyes, "but I wasn't pushing you away Lauren I'd really be alright tho" the girl surprisingly place both her hands as she cupped my cheeks.
"I don't want to make the same mistake twice" she utter out and my breath was caught over my throat confusion took over me so I asked her "what do you mean Lauren?".
She shook her head and smile "the important thing is I'm here now that you need me" Lauren leaned in and place a gentle kiss on my forehead.
"Now wait for me alright try to take some nap and I'll cook something warm for you" she stand up and turn her back to me and I watch as Lauren walk away realizing that this scenario feels like it has happened before.
Deja Vu?
I don't really want to eat anything at the moment I just want to fall asleep and maybe figure out some things.
🍌🍌🍌🍌
"Lauren really you could go I'd totally be fine" I told Lauren whose so stressed about either going to the party of her friend or staying with me.
Well as much as I want her to stay.
I also knew how much she want to go to that party and I want her to have fun I don't want to be the strict girlfriend I don't want to lock her up with me.
"No baby you're sick I can't go" she whined then hold me protectively in her arms, I giggle as I cooed closer to her I want her with me but I don't want her to miss it.
"I promise I will be okay I will just take a nap while you're out and when you're back you can tell me all about how the party went yeah?" She look at me with her emerald green eyes, "but you're sick" she frown.
I cup her cheeks pulling her into a quick kiss "now I transfer my sickness to you go before you even get sick too love!" She laugh then peck my lips again "I don't care about getting sick your lips are everything" she Mumble then kiss me again it was all a quick sweet peck.
"Baby?"
She hummed in response "go"
She look down at me "are you sure you're gonna let me?" She asked in still a concern tone I smile then nod "of course my love I mean you'd come back right?"
She instantly nod "of course my angel I will always come back for you"
"Then go and have some fun but not too much you know what I mean" I gave her a warning look which she quickly get what's the meaning of.
She gave me a salute "just you and always you" Lauren kiss me once more before letting go of me.
Sadness crept up inside me for I instantly miss her warmth. I like her close to me.
"Take care okay"
"Do you trust me?" Lauren asked a rhetorical question.
"You have my full trust baby" I know Lauren very much and there's no need for me to worry since I know how loyal she is to me and even if she makes a mistake she'd tell me everything.
I watch as my girlfriend's car disappear in the house.
I went back to bed and lay myself down for I feel too dizzy to stay standing in balance. Feeling a growing pain inside my head I drag myself to sleep. And I expected when I woke up my girlfriend is back. When I open my eyes she's back and greeting me with her sweet smile and warm kiss. When I woke up Lauren would be here.
"Y/n?"
I felt a gentle shake upon my body.
"Y/n baby"
"Babe"
I squinted my eyes as I notice a familiar figure standing in front of me.
I smile as soon as I saw her... she's back...I knew she'd be back when I woke up Lauren's back.
My girlfriend
"Hey princess"
My sight once became clear and my eyes widen to see Lauren staring at me with a smile.
"What's with your reaction? It's like you seen a ghost" she chuckled while gently caressing my wrist.
"Did I fall asleep?" I asked confused cause I'm pretty sure I had a dream.
She nod "yeah I finished cooking but when I came to check on you you fall asleep so I let you rest for a while how are you feeling?".
Why does that dream felt so real felt so alive. When I woke up she's here but she's not mine anymore.
"Baby?" I blink my eyes and once again brought my attention back to Lauren "huh? Oh uh I'm a little bit alright"
When I open my eyes she'd be here
Lauren smile then place her Palm onto my forehead once again "you're temperature's still hot tho come on eat first then I'm going to buy you some medicine".
She stand up from my bed then turn her back.
"Lauren wait!"
She quickly turn back to me "what's wrong?"
I take a deep breath "you'd come back right?"
She smile "of course why would I not come back?" She let out a conspicuous chuckle.
"My angel I will always come back for you"
A familiar feeling went back to my chest, I once again look up but Lauren wasn't there anymore.
It wasn't a dream...it was a memory.
Few moments later Lauren came back with a tray and a bowl of soup.
"Here this is a chicken soup so it'll warm up your stomach" she sat beside me and I watch how she gently stir the bowl.
"Lauren I think I can eat by myself" I told her but she shook her head
"No you stay like that and I'll feed you" she said sternly.
"But-" Lauren glare at me "no buts"
Ouch I know I have no butt.
"Now open up" she said as she took a spoonful of soup and carefully guide it towards my mouth.
Being a baby I open my mouth but and took the soup but flinch as the hotness came in contact with my tongue.
"Oh my God I'm sorry y/n was it hot?" Lauren freaked out.
"You're fired Lauren get out from here!" I playfully said while trying to ease the pain of my tongue.
"Aww baby I'm sorry I'd make it cold now" she chuckled then took another spoonful.
This time as I take it it was not as hot as before.
"Okay you're back at the job" I smile and she giggled "I knew you love me"
After a couple of minutes of 'feeding the baby' Lauren finished the soup for I only took a couple spoons of it.
"Now I'd buy you some medicine outside" she stand up once again.
"Lauren"
Ugh I don't know what's up with me on calling her name again and again.
"Yes boo?" She asked.
"You don't have to buy me medicine" I told her and she fully turn her body to me "but you're sick love"
"I I'll be fine can you just uh..."
Okay how do I put this in the most nicest way?
"Can you uhm.."
"Can you"
"Y/n! Just tell me!" Lauren blurted out being impatient with my words.
I sigh "can you just stay with me?".
I notice how Lauren's face changes and she seem to be surprised by my sudden outburst. Damn I just embarrassed myself great going y/n. You're the one being clingy.
"Are you sure? I mean your fever still hasn't go down yet" she reminded me..
"I'll be fine Lauren" I assure her.
She smile then nod at me walking back to her bed.
"Alright then I'll just stay here and watch you" she chuckled as she lay back on her bed facing me.
Our eyes locked and I felt so lost into her green eyes.
"Lauren?"
"Yes y/n?"
"Thank you for accompanying me today"
Smile took over Lauren's face and I felt so overwhelmed inside, I don't know what's this game is doing to me anymore but I feel like I needed her.
"You can take a nap if you want love I'd be here when you wake up"
I could literally hear my heart slamming against my chest my heartbeat is fast and my breath was uneasy.
She'd be here when I wake up...Lauren will be here...And she'd greet me with her sweet smile and warm kiss.
Lauren
Lauren jauregui...
🍌🍌🍌🍌
"Lauren just tell me what's wrong I can't stand us being like this anymore please just tell me what's been bothering you"
she sigh heavily "I told you it was nothing"
I felt my blood boil and anger rage upon me we've been fighting for weeks and she don't want to tell me what the fuck is going on.
I felt so much pain already.
"Lauren please I just wanna know" I beg my girlfriend but the next thing I knew she was asking me for some space.
Or more like she's been asking for a break up.
It totally made my whole world fall apart.
"Y/n I think we need some space"
She called y/n...she only call me by my name when something's not right or bothering her and I'm totally not used to it for I've been comfortable with her calling me nicknames or pet names.
I sigh as I felt my chest heave upon the painful way my heart beats, I feel sad.
"Lauren no we don't need space I just need you to tell me what's going on"
Tears stream down my face as Lauren gives me a look as if she's serious and satisfied with the decision she's gonna make.
I hate the feeling of this like I'm the one whose begging for her. I hate it when we're not okay.
"Lauren please can we just talk?"
She sigh heavily and look up at me "y/n I love you so much but I need to break up with you"
Those were the words I don't want to hear ever in my life for it was too painful.
And I knew she's sure of it...she do want to break up with me.
"Why?" I asked while breaking down.
There's so many questions running on my head but I don't think she could answer them all so for once I'm gonna ask her one question.
"Why Lauren?"
My girlfriend was speechless.
But one thing she said before she go "she doesn't want it but she need to"
Then she told me she loves me before leaving me there crying not even dare to look back.
"Lauren!" I called her name hoping that she'd have a little Mercy for my feelings.
But was I wrong as she continuously walk away without looking back at me.
For then I knew when I fell asleep I'd only wake up but will never be the same anymore.
I would get used to wake up without Lauren jauregui in my life..
"Y/n wake up!!" My eyes shot open and a familiar pain inside my head came back fuck this hurts!
"Baby hey hey what's wrong look at me" I realize that Lauren was there sitting in my bed cupping my cheeks in her hands as she look upon me with a terrified look in her eyes.
She gently rub her thumbs across my cheeks and I felt a hot wet liquid spread across my face.
I blink my eyes and another tears slipped out from it.
I was crying.
"Y/n why are you crying? What's wrong?" Lauren asked still unaware of what happened.
But why she's here? I was supposed to wake up with her in my life anymore.
"L-lauren" I called out her name and my tone is completely breaking out.
"Yes? I'm here what's wrong? You can tell me anything"
Her voice was really soothing. But why why did she break up with me from the very start if she's going to hold me again like the way she hold me before.
I miss her.
"Y/n are you okay?"
I was so lost in her eyes I don't even know what's happening anymore.
"Stay with me please" I croak out and she once again rub her thumb gently through my cheeks then kiss my forehead.
"Don't worry I won't go anywhere" she muttered as she stroke my hair. My chest finally calm and my breathing became normal.
I lay down back at my bed and Lauren adjusted the blanket closer to me. She was about to stand up to go back to her bed but I stopped her.
She look at me.
I know it sounded crazy but I want her with me.
"Can you sleep with me?" I asked in a hopeful tone, for I thought she's gonna decline she smile at me and nod "of course angel".
I felt thankful inside me. I move over the other side so she'd have the other side.
Lauren lay down and we face each other. She's looking at me deeply with her emerald eyes.
"Go back to sleep" she told me.
I scooted closer to her and lay my head into her chest. I must be dreaming for I was afraid that in the morning she'll be gone again I want to feel her warmth while she's here.
Even if i has to break the rules of her game.
"Are you sure you're okay?" Lauren asked while continuously stroking my hair which totally made me feel so comfortable and calm and safe.
"Lauren?"
"Yeah?"
"Will you be here when I wake up?"
The older girl wrap her arms around me "I promise"
That's enough for me to hear that she'd try to stay.
I felt once again sleepy by the strokes of her fingers through my hair.
She'll be here when I wake up...Lauren will be here.