On the day of the Gryffindor Quidditch team try outs, Emmy was too nervous to eat. The syrupy pancakes she usually had by the dozen only made her stomach turn.
Despite all the times she'd practised with Sirius, she couldn't help but feel like she was making a mistake, that she wasn't as good as he said she was. Her stomach twisted at the thought but she thought of the look on his face when she'd scored that point at the end of the practise last night and couldn't help but smile.
Half an hour later they stood in a line in front of James Potter, the newly-appointed Gryffindor captain, in the drizzling gale winds. Standing next to him was Sirius who gave Emmy a quick wink when she caught his eye. Her lips melted into an involuntary grin as soon as he looked away and Marlene coughed pointedly, eyebrow raised.
Emmy's cheeks went pink, "Oh shut it."
"Alright you lot, grab a broom from the shed over there and then gather round!" James hollered. Emmy tried to pick the least bashed one but to her dismay many of them didn't have more than five twigs on them
James continued, "We'll go through a series of drills and then I'll do individual trials for each position. We're needing a new chaser and a seeker so you lot better be good, it's going to be intense."
Sirius stepped forward, quaffle under his arm.
"Listen up you lot, I'm assistant coach of the team so I'll be running the try-outs today for James. Let's have three laps of the pitch to start with."
He started to walk backwards, staring at their hesitant faces, then said, "Well go on then!"
Predictably, the overconfident boys immediately began to sprint. And then halfway though the second lap, the three girls overtook most of them, enjoying the scowls of annoyance they earned.
Emmy could sense the Alice and Marlene were beginning to tire.
"Come on, you guys. Keep going!" she yelled encouragement over the wind. They gave her tired but appreciative grins.
"You go on ahead, beat those bloody boys!" called Marlene.
By the time she was halfway round the third lap, she had lapped some of the boys who were desperately trying not to be beaten by a girl. She took great pleasure in getting rid of some of their toxic masculinity.
Having the stamina of a werewolf did sometimes come in handy.
She was just about out of breath as she came to a stop next to Sirius and James,
"Nice going, Lupin," said the Gryffindor captain and Emmy found it hard to contain her smirk as she sat down in the grass to wait for the others.
Once everyone had finished Sirius walked forwards.
"That was pathetic, the lot of you! Anyway, let's continue, stand in a line next to the goalposts with your brooms. You have ten seconds."
Chaos ensued as everyone wanted to be near the front, but no one wanted to be first either.
The girls smirked at each other before strolling to the front of the line. Marlene was first, then Emmy, then Alice.
The boys behind them looked suitably embarrassed.
"First up! Name?" called James.
"Potter, we've known each other for three years," replied an exasperated Marlene.
"No exceptions, McKinnon."
She rolled her eyes as he asked her to get on the broom for a lap of the pitch, three goals to get past Frank Longbottom, and then a trick or dive to finish.
Marlene grinned back at her friends as she ascended into the air. She looked like a natural.
She rode smoothly but cut some corners which Potter yelled at her for. She scored all three goals in a row and then did an intricate zigzag through the hoops.
Emmy began hesitantly. Gaining confidence with altitude, she zipped around the pitch before catching the quaffle from Sirius.
Frank cracked his knuckles but gave her a friendly smile as she approached. She picked up speed then dodged under his arm, having to drop quite low to throw the ball up to get it through the hoop. She could hear the others yelling in the stands and they fuelled her on as she scored another two goals in quick succession before completing her final trick.
It was something Sirius had shown her but she'd only managed it once before without him having to sprint over to break her fall. Well if the worst came to the worst, she'd just break a couple of bones. James wouldn't let her die, surely? On second thoughts he seemed like the type of person to take quidditch that seriously.
She clenched her jaw and began her ascent, shooting up into the sky and then leaned back to stop the acceleration. She could feel the wind rushing through her hair as she fell back down to earth then quickly twisted herself over and leant forwards to catch herself before she smashed into the pitch. She could hear cheering from the stands and as she righted herself, spotted Sirius below grinning as she flew past overhead.
She dropped off her broom a couple of feet from Marlene who ran to hug her, yelling about how unbelievably-cool-that-was-and-why-didn't-you-tell-us-you-were-that-good. She laughed and held her tight, adrenaline still coursing through her veins.
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When the full moon arrived on the night of the first of October, Emmy was frantic with worry.
Professor Dippet, McGonagall and Madam Pomfrey were the only ones who knew about her condition and they'd all agreed she should head into the mountains to lower the risk of her finding Remus during the night. Two werewolves in the same five-mile radius would be fatal, but if there were at least fifteen miles away, they might stand a chance of surviving if they didn't find each other. She'd told Remus her plan as a curtesy but they both knew there was absolutely nothing else wither of them could do.
And so she set off just after dinner with Madam Pomfrey, her backpack full of spare clothes, healing potions, a flask of tea and with the desperate hope that no one would get hurt.
The nurse left her under the shelter of an overhanging cave half an hour before sundown, with a gentle embrace and kind words.
Those next thirty minutes were bitterly cold as she sat shivering on the mountainside.
But she would have rather than what happened when the first beams of moonlight hit her.
The bones popping out of her joints were the last thing she remembered as she lost conscious, caving to the monster inside of her.
In the forbidden forest, the same thing was happening to Remus, but instead he was surrounded by his friends who were fighting tooth and nail to make it any less painful. Despite this, he could never forget that somewhere out there his sister was facing the same pain with no one by her side, and it was his fault.
The blinding pain was the only part of the transformation he ever remembered, and it came all too quickly as the sun dipped behind the branches of the Forbidden Forest.
—————
An hour and ten miles later, James, Sirius and Peter watched in horror as their best friend tore at another of his kind.
They were completely bewildered. How had they never seen another werewolf before in the years they'd helped Remus on the full moon.
It had been mere seconds after his transformation that he'd lifted his snout into the air and taken off up the hillside. They sprinted through the trees and out onto the side of the mountain over the gorse and heather, but when they found him it had been too late to stop him before the damage had been done.
They recognised Remus as the bigger one in height, but both carried the same amount of muscle and power. The other was a pale grey that looked like liquid silver in the moonlight but its coat was interspersed with more scars, with a prominent claw mark down its back.
Their claws were both razor sharp and they sliced into each other as they fought, their sinewy limbs like weapons themselves, a sharp kick from Remus sent Sirius and James flying through the air as they tried to intervene. Peter snuffled around at Sirius' paws as he tried to crawl up, staring in horror at his usually peaceful friend as he tore a chunk out of the other's leg.
By the time the sun had risen, they were all covered in new scars and swathes of blood. The animagi had been completely helpless, a hellish nightmare in itself, but finally it was over.
In the few minutes before dawn, the werewolves were unconscious and the boys transfigured back to their human forms, stumbling towards their friend in panic. They could see the full horror of what the creatures had done to each other but found an extra cloak and bandages for the other.
Whilst they were livid that the other had hurt Remus, they knew it had as little choice as he did so they had cloaks at hand to cover them, and the bandages and ointments they stored in their jacket pockets at the ready.
The steady rays of sunlight flickered through the trees and hit Remus first. He groaned in pain as he began to turn back, and James and Peter rushed to put pressure on his wounds, holding him as he screamed in agony.
But the choking noise that came from Sirius had them spinning around. At his feet lay Emmeline Lupin, wrapped in his cloak. She was in shock, shaking, unable to stand and her eyes were burning as she stared at them, unseeingly.
Sirius spoke her name softly, kneeling down next to her. She didn't say anything but slowly her trembling hand began to reach out to him.
"Sirius," she murmured, half-delirious. Tears were streaming down his face as he moved forward and touched her cheek.
Her pale skin was morbidly white and her golden hair tumbled over his shoulder as he picked her up.
James and Peter slung Remus' scarred arms over their shoulders and he finally caught sight of his sister. He cried out and lunged towards her,
"Emmy! What have I done?" he sobbed. "What have I done?"
"Come on, it's alright mate," comforted James quietly as he nodded at Sirius to go ahead with her. They'd never heard Remus sound so broken, his eyes were haunted as he watch his friend carry her away.
—————
The light faded in and out like some sort of angelic dream. Emmy could just about make out the sound of voices in her semi-conscious state.
"I had no idea..." murmured Peter.
"It makes sense though, Pete. No wonder Remus didn't want her at Hogwarts. Look what they've done to each other in a single night," James replied, softly.
Ashamed and full of guilt Emmy wished herself back asleep and they faded away once again.
—————
Remus lay still fast asleep in the bed next to his sister. He had many new cuts and scrapes from last night, but Madame Pomfrey was confident not many would scar.
It always took a bit out of them every time they saw their friend like that. There was only so long until all that remained would be scars, and not just on the outside. At least he was in a stable condition for now.
Emmy on the other hand was much worse. When they arrived back at the school, Madam Pomfrey had been so horrified she'd almost taken her to St. Mungo's. The internal bleeding was extensive and there were so many bones out of place she barely looked human. Sirius had managed to get her to the hospital wing in time thankfully and with the help of some deep-sleep spells, Emmy was unconscious to allow her body to heal fully.
She'd be ok, the nurse had reassured them wearily, before retiring to her office.
Sirius looked like he'd seen a ghost, and not the friendly kind that wandered the halls of Hogwarts, as he slouching in the chair between the two beds, not saying a word.
He couldn't stop thinking about how lifeless she felt in his arms, couldn't stop touching his shirt where her tears had spilled as they came through the main door, couldn't stop hearing her voice as she whispered, "Make it end, make it all end."
"I don't know why Remus didn't tell us," said James as he sat on the end of his bed, holding Sirius' shoulder in the way he always did when he knew he wanted to be alone but desperately needed someone to stick around.
He always had the same haunted look after speaking to his mother or fighting with his brother, after seeing something beyond repair.
"Well he didn't even tell us he had a sister. Who knows what else he's keeping from us?" replied Peter in a quiet voice.
And with that Sirius felt himself break a little more. He leaned his whole body against James who wrapped his arms around him, tears slipped from his eye.
All he ever wanted to do was to help his friends. To help them when they were hurting, when they felt broken, when they felt scared.
Because he felt all those things and knew what it meant to feel like you were crumbling from the inside, desperately clinging onto those you loved, no matter how fiercely they pushed you away.
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ok, that was a bit dark. I was going to say I'll try to lighten up the next chapter but I've just checked my drafts and that's... not very likely. hope you enjoyed, see you next time!