Mistake. It was all such a huge mistake and you completely blamed Hanji - you hated yourself for getting mixed in with the mad scientist and accidentally becoming her assistant.
It all started when she begged for you to come help her out with something in the lab a month after you signed up to be her helper; apparently having only Moblit wasn't enough to torture.
You sat on one of the stools across from the woman as she stared at a bunch of paperwork and reports on her two precious titans. You were unbelievably bored and Moblit was too busy off doing whatever it was Moblit's do to entertain you.
You sighed again and blindly reached for your glass of water. You brought the glass to your lips and guzzled half of it. You frowned when the water was suddenly warm and not cold like it had been five minutes earlier.
Your eyes dragged away from the plain wall and locked on the glass.
"Ah, fuck," you breathed when you noticed the little numbers and markings that indicated that you just drank out of a beaker; a beaker of not water. You had no idea what it was, but you were pretty upset that your hand had completely missed touching your actual glass of water and gotten you to drink whatever the hell it was you just drank.
If you died, you were cutting off your hand in the afterlife. It was such an asshole.
"Hey Hanji," you called out lazily. She looked up at you.
"Yes?"
"I think I just drank one of your experiments," you informed her. You slid the beaker across the metal table to her. She picked it up and frowned.
Hanji didn't say a word as she sniffed the chemical. Her frown deepened. "What the actual hell is this?" She muttered to herself. You shrugged. You were so going to die.
You continued to watch as Hanji examined the beaker of the clear liquid. Then, she dipped a finger in it. Then, she brought the glass up and drank the rest of it.
"Hanji!" You exclaimed, slamming your hands down on the table. "What the hell are you doing?"
The scientist shot you a brilliant smile and set the now empty glass down. "I don't think it's lethal, (F/N). We'll be fine."
"Why did you drink that?!"
"You did too."
"It was an accident when I did!"
"Then we'll file mine off as an accident as well," Hanji said. She turned back to the papers in front of her. "It's probably no big deal. Stop worrying. Knowing myself, it was probably some new cleaning solution before all of the harmful chemicals."
You scoffed at her optimism but nevertheless settled back down on your stool, resuming your boredom. Why were you even still in there?
The large door behind Hanji creaked open and in stepped a familiar figure.
"Moblit!" You shouted, sitting up straighter on your stool and giving the other assistant a large, toothy smile. "Where have you been?"
"Just taking care of a few extra things. I was also getting the daily report on Bean and Sonny for Squad Leader Hanji here," Moblit responded. As he spoke, he set the few amount of papers down next to the quiet Hanji.
His eyes then locked on the empty beaker and he frowned. "What happened to whatever that was?"
"None of your damn business, Moblit," you snapped. "That was stepping over the line and I'm quite offended. Stay out of my personal life you little shit."
The man snorted ungracefully and crossed his arms. "Yeah. Okay."
At that moment, Hanji turned around and offered the glass to Moblit. You noticed there was still enough left for three or four sips.
"Here ya go! It's a real thirst quencher!" She cheered.
Moblit's eyes widened slightly. "Uh, Squad Leader, I wouldn't have drank that if I were you..."
"Oi, stop being such a piss baby and drink the rest, Moblit!" You ordered sharply. The man sighed and reluctantly gave in to your peer pressure.
You had never felt prouder.
~
A little over an hour later, you understood why it was bad to drink science experiments, even if it was an accident.
Because now, you, Moblit, and Hanji were high as a kite - all because you three decided to drink a chemical.
You had never experienced something like this before. You felt to alive and light.
"Guys, oh my god," Hanji whispered as she floated through the air that was littered with stars. "Let's go on a safari."
"Duuuudddee," Moblit swam past her easily. "Sean and Bonny are nice this time of year."
"Let's do it!" You agreed, stumbling to your feet. You jumped up into the light air and grabbed hold of Hanji and Moblit, pulling them back down to the floor. "Safari time!~"
The three of you marched down towards the courtyard where the two titans were being held. The entire time you remained wedged between the two with one arm hooked through one of each of theirs in fear that you or them would start to float away.
"Guys they're so cute!" Hanji gushed as she raced out of the building. You bit back a scream as her body sunk down halfway in the ground. Still, the woman pressed on.
"You go, mad scientist," you held a fist in the air. "You go."
"(F/N)! Oh my god! Don't leave me," Moblit cried, clutching onto your arms tighter. "Please stop trying to leave!"
You gasped in horror. You were completely ashamed and surprised at yourself.
You looked down at your own stomach and scowled. "You are a bad. A very very bad." You scolded, poking your tummy with every word spoken. You looked back up at Moblit. "Quick, get on my shoulders so you can keep me weighed down on the ground!"
Moblit nodded eagerly as he slowly climbed onto your back. You stumbled slightly under the sudden weight, but managed to keep your balance and began shuffling in the direction Hanji had run off. You literally shuffled; your feet never the ground in fear you would leave Moblit even though he was on your back.
To a sober outsider, it would seem as though you were giving Moblit a piggy back ride whilst pointlessly kicking up dirt.
But to you, Moblit was saving your life.
"You are going too fast, (F/N)!" Moblit shrieked, his fingers digging into your shoulders. You struggled to slow down with the midget Levi army chasing you, but you were able to adjust and become accustomed to it.
By the time you made it to where Hanji was, she was throwing blades of grass on top of the two panting titans, giggling and cheering the whole time.
"I love safari's!" She shouted. She hopped over to you and Moblit and carefully gave you each ten blades of grass. "Make them count," she said very seriously.
"Oh my god they are so precious," you cooed, caressing each blade softly. They were so green and smooth; you wanted to keep them forever. You glanced up to make sure Moblit and Hanji weren't looking.
Both of them were focused on tossing grass onto the titans like confetti, giving you the perfect chance.
You shoved blades all inside your clothes and hair; there was grass in your boots, pockets, down your shirt, sprinkled and lodged into your hair - everywhere.
"I feel pretty," you whispered to yourself.
"What the fuck are you idiots doing?"
"The mothership!" Hanji screamed as Levi walked into sight. You panicked and did a front somersault to get closer to and hide behind Hanji. The army of midget Levi's must have gotten so angry and frustrated that they summoned their mothership.
"Mothership? What the hell are you babbling on about, Shitty Glasses?" Levi demanded. You and Moblit giggled as his hair began flapping like wings.
Your giggling drew Levi's attention. He raised an eyebrow at the grass all over you.
"What the hell is wrong with these idiots? Did they drink something in Han - oh," Levi interrupted his own thoughts as he caught on to what was happening. The three of you had drank something in Hanji's lab, and now you were all acting like a bunch of high crackheads.
"Right, all three of you, get to your rooms and sleep this shit off before I knock you out right here and leave within the titans reach!" Levi barked.
"Wow, rude," Moblit snorted as he strolled back towards the main building. You and Hanji followed after, both of you having a serious and philosophical discussion about the possibility of dwarf's and unicorns being the true reason behind the titan's appearance.
"It's like I'm working with a bunch of imbecilic five year old's," Levi grumbled.
~
The next morning you woke up with a horrible migraine and grass all over you. You couldn't remember a damned thing from the previous day, and had no intention on finding out.
In fact, all you intended on doing was sleeping all day.
You must have fallen asleep as soon as you got back to your room, because you still had your boots, jacket, and harnesses on.
You slowly removed everything except your tank-top undershirt and pants. You curled up into a ball under your covers and readied yourself for more sleep.
However, one thought kept ringing throughout your head that you couldn't see to shake away.
And that was an image of Levi's hair flying off of his head and flying away.