Lalisa's POV
I walked back and forth inside my room contemplating on how to tell Jack about my real feelings.
Will he be mad at me if I tell him that I fell in love with Jungkook?
I hope not but I guess he will. I have been telling him the past few days that I love him but everytime Jungkook comes around, I can confirm that what I feel for him is nothing but a puppy love and that what I feel for Jungkook is somewhat deeper.
I don't even know how I fell for him. At first I thought it was just a physical attraction but later on I thought there was more to it. Just the sound of his voice makes me feel calm and at peace. Everything about Jungkook makes me feel complete. It's like he's my other half.
So now, as I realized that I cannot lie to my own self anymore. I decided to tell Jack about it. I walked to his room and knocked. When he opened, a smiled quickly crept into his lips but there's something wrong about him the way he smiled.
It looks forced and not genuine.
"Are you alright?" I asked in worry as I step inside his room. He led me to sit to the couch near the bed and he sat beside me.
"I'm fine. I'm just tired from the travel but don't worry. This will pass quickly." he answered.
"Oh.. Okay" This is a bad timing. How can I tell him that I love someone else when he's not feeling well?
"Do you have something to say?" he asked.
"Nothing. Maybe next time." I answered shortly.
"Don't hesitate to tell me if you have something important to say. You know I always listen right?" Jack reached for my hand to squeeze.
"I will" I answered. I want to be honest right now and tell him that I love Jungkook but this is not the right time. "You want milk? I can get you a fresh milk." I offered to divert the topic and he smiled.
"I would love to" he gave me his boxy smile and I quickly left his room to go to the Kitchen.
I open the fridge and took the box of fresh milk there and a glass but when I turned, Jungkook was already behind me watching me.
"Oh" is all that I managed to say. After our heated kiss from last night, it became awkward between us. I tried to avoid him the entire trip to Jeju. I don't want him to know about how I feel for him yet because I have Jack and it's very wrong to confess to Jungkook when he knows I'm still with Jack. I don't even know if he feels the same way as me.
Besides, plan to tell Jack first about how I feel before I tell Jungkook.
"You're drinking that?" he asked cheerfully pointing at the fresh milk I'm holding.
"No this is for Jack." I answered biting my lip and his expression turned into a disappointed one. Now I feel guilty for telling him that.
"Oh" he muttered.
I bowed and walked past him. Ignoring his watchful eye on my back.
When I came back to Jack, he quickly drank the milk. And placed the glass and the box of milk at the table to face me.
"Are you going to the club with us later? You can stay here if you're still not feeling well." I said in worry.
"I will go with you later. What if hot guys started flirting with you" he frowned and I got confused.
Jack is not usually the jealous type. But right now I can't believe he seemed to not like the idea of guys being around us.
"I don't flirt." I answered back. I don't even know how flirting happens.
Wait. Is Jungkook kissing me considered as flirting? Maybe yes. Maybe not. But I think it's more of cheating.
I mentally shook my head at the thought. I can't bear to think that I'm actually cheating on Jack. It's very wrong of me. But I love Jungkook. And I can't lie to myself anymore and keep telling me that I don't love him. I should tell him immediately about it.
"There's something bothering you. I can tell. What is it Pranpriya?" he asked in a deep and serious voice. And I decided to not prolong my guilt anymore.
"I'm so sorry Jack" my tears threatened to fall at the thought of hurting him. He doesn't deserve this. He's a very kind person and I just cheated.
"Don't cry." He said wiping my tear which just fell from my eye.
"I...I..." I couldn't even finish my sentence. I just shut my eyes close and cried more.
"You realize that you love Jungkook?" he guessed in a soft and comforting voice and I opened my eyes in shock to look at him. How can he know exactly how I feel?
"How did you?" I asked. My expression is pure of shock telling him that he guessed it right.
"I didn't have big eyes to not see things clearly. I can see it by the way you move and act around him and if you're worried about how I feel with this, don't worry about me. I just want your happiness." he explained smiling but I can clearly read the hurt expression in his eyes.
He blinked his tears away and I quickly embraced him.
"I'm so sorry" I said and let him sob in my neck. My neck got wet from his crying but I just let him be. I rubbed his back to comfort him but I know no touch can mend the pain he is feeling right now.
"Let me say this again for the last time. I love you so much Pranpriya. I love you so much to let you go and be happy." he said on my neck. His arms are tighly wrapped around me and if someone would just see us right now, they would probably think that we are making out.
"I want you to be happy too. You are a very great man. It will not be hard to look for someone who will love you the way you should be loved. Someone would treat you better the way you deserve to be treated." I said rubbing his back more.
"Thank you. You will always be my first love." he said.
"You are mine too" I answered back. I really wish him to be happy too.
But as of this moment I don't know what lies ahead. I don't what will happen to Jungkook and I. I don't even know if I can be with him. I don't know how he feels but I'm sure hoping we can be together.
Maybe I can tell him how I feel and hope that he tells me the same.
Yeah. That's right. I will tell Jungkook about it this very day.
My phone started ringing startling both Jack and me and because of it, I tried to reach for my phone in my back pocket but I ended falling out of balance with Jack.
I blushed the moment I realized the position we were in.
Because right now, I am on top of him, my lips were pressed on him. His arms are still wrapped around me. While my legs stradle his waist.
Shit!
I quickly stood looking away. And took my phone. I turned it off when I realized It was just an alarm I set for me to be reminded of taking my medicine.
"Uhm..." I started. That was so embarrassing. Now that we had our closure. It is really awkward to be kissing Jack like that. Even if it was just an accident.
"Sorry" he said. Scratching his head while looking away.
"It's okay." I answered back. "I think I should go now" I bid him goodbye and quickly left his room.
After an hour of staying in my room. I finally got the courage to face Jungkook and tell him how I feel. So I walked out of my room and looked for him.
And there I saw him, ever so gorgeous walking to me. A smile crept to my lips at the thought that he wants to talk to me too.
I smiled when we finally closed the distance. But I got confused when I noticed he was not looking at me. Instead he just walked past me like he didn't saw me.
I swear he has this blank expression which worried me more.
I stopped on my track and looked at his retreating back.
What's his problem?
Now, I lost the courage to talk to him.
Maybe he doesn't feel the way that I feel. Yeah he just probably kissed me without feeling the same.
👑
Author's Note
What happened to Jungkook?
I'm sorry for being late again.