A/N: OMG my book is so old now it can drink in the US!
Sorry ik you all hate me
Michael
"I love you, Mikey."
What? Luke loved me? This was perf--bad. This was bad. I needed to stop being so selfish. If he loved me, it would hurt him even more when I died.
"I love you too, Luke," I was about to say, but two seconds later, I was glad I didn't.
"And I know Jamie loves you too."
Damn it... I mean, good. It wouldn't hurt him as much. But God damn it! I screamed in my mind. I loved him, so much. I didn't want him to get hurt.
"That's exactly why I need to leave."
I turned around to walk away. "Oh, what the fûck, Michael!"
"What, Luke?"
"My point wasn't, 'I love you, so I don't want you to hurt me,' My point was that I love you too much to let you die alone!"
I turned back and watched Luke yell, with veins popping out of his neck, and a tear running down his face. How did he know?
"What do you mean, Luke?" I asked with wide eyes.
"If you go through your life shoving people away, someday you're going to be underground with a tombstone that says 'Michael Clifford, beloved stranger.' Don't let any chances slip through your fingers. I'm willing to take the risk, why aren't you?"
The words he said made me feel like he was trying to tell me something. What "chances" was he talking about? Why did he say he was taking a risk? What risk was I supposed to take?
It took a moment to hit me, but as I looked into his eyes, I saw exactly what I had been looking for this entire time. So I did what seemed at the time to be the only option: I kissed him.
The kiss lasted for about ten seconds, then he pulled away. "What was that for?"
"Y-you said to take risks."
"That's not what I meant!"
"Sorry..." I said, head down.
"Hey, it's alright," Luke said, wrapping his arm around my shoulder and pulling me to his side. "I'm flattered. It's just, I'm straight. I can guarantee you, however, if I were gay, or bi, or pan, or whatever, I would definitely like you back."
"Like me back? I don't like you," I lied. "Not like that."
Well, what do you expect? I completely humiliated myself, do you think I should have just gone along with it? I wasn't totally stupid. This was definitely going to make things awkward.
"Michael, Jamie told me you did," he lied. Either he lied, or she wasn't as great of a friend as I thought.
"She's making it up. Even if I did like you, I wouldn't have told her." That was a lie. I did tell her, but she didn't actually tell him, did she? Why would she? I made her pinky promise not to!
"Okay, fine. She didn't tell me. I just made an educated guess, by the way you always look at me, but I guess I was wrong."
He started to walk away, but I grabbed his wrist to stop him. "Luke, how can you tell that I'm looking at you if you're not looking at me?"
He shrugged. "Peripheral vision."
"Well, whatever. You're 'educated guess' was wrong."
I finally left, and after two seconds wondered why I hadn't just told him the truth. Oh, right. Because he was straight and would never like me.
I ran to the bathroom and locked the door behind me. I didn't know what else to do, so I leaned against the wall, slid to the floor, and cried.
Luke
"I'm willing to take the risk, why aren't you?" I finished.
Michael sat there for a couple of seconds, biting his lip and looking at me. I had no idea what was going on until his lips were on mine. Whoa. I wanted to pull away--well I didn't want to, but I had to--but I couldn't. I hadn't kissed him sober since he was dead. No, he was alive, but I wasn't kissing the alive version of him... I confused myself. This whole situation was confusing. As was this kiss. It was a great kiss, so why did it make me feel so bad? It made me sad, it made me guilty...
I pulled away as soon as I was physically able to. "What was that for?"
"You said to take risks," Michael said, stuttering. Aww...
"That's not what I meant!" As soon as I said it, I realized how harsh it sounded. Fûck.
"Sorry..." Michael muttered, and I just wanted to hold him close and never let him go. Unfortunately, I would have to someday.
I could always do the first part, though. I hugged his shoulders with one arm and brought him to me, trying my best not to sniff him (What? He smells really good!). "Hey, it's all right. I'm flattered. It's just, I'm straight. I can guarantee you, however, if I were gay, or bi, or pan, or whatever, I would definitely like you back."
"Like me back?" What's wrong with that? "I don't like you. Not like that." What the fûck, Michael, why were you lying?
"Michael..." I tried to find an excuse to say I knew for sure without telling him how. "Jamie told me you did."
"She's making it up. Even if I did like you, I wouldn't have told her." Well, that was offensive. Not only would he not tell me, but he was too embarrassed to admit it to me?
"Okay, fine. She didn't tell me. I just made an educated guess, by the way you always look at me, but I guess I was wrong."
"Luke, how can you tell that I'm looking at you if you're not looking at me?" Shít. I didn't think about that.
"Peripheral vision."
"Well, whatever. You're 'educated guess' was wrong." He walked away, and I bit my lip to hold in the tears until he was gone.
Was our friendship really over? No. It couldn't be. I still had to tell him I was in love with him. I was still building up the courage, but I could do it eventually. I could. I had to, so he would know he had completed all of his wishes. I was sure I would've fallen for him anyway, even if he hadn't come back, but you know me, I wouldn't have told him. Ghost Michael was there to make sure I knew what I had to do. Otherwise, I wouldn't have known he was dying, and I would always keep thinking, "There's always tomorrow," because that's the kind if coward I was.
How many wishes did he have anyway? I knew he had the friend one, or used to. I knew he had the five miles... I chuckled through my tears. He still didn't know that Jamie and I set that up on purpose.
I knew he didn't have the phone yet, and he didn't know he had made someone fall in love with him, but did he have the fourth one yet? I couldn't remember what date it was when he first put in his diary that he was in love with me. I had to find out.
I ran to the parking lot without going through the service just to realize I didn't have the key.
There was someone in the car, though... I assumed it was Jamie, sitting in the back seat, crying. Poor Jamie. She sure had some reasons to cry today.
As I got closer, however, I saw that it wasn't, in fact Jamie. So who was it?
I approached the car and knocked on the window, hoping it wasn't a burglar. It wasn't. The girl turned to me and opened the door. I stood there in plain shock.
"Hey, Luke," Sara said. Her face was soaked, probably one of the reasons she didn't wear makeup that day. I assumed the second reason had something to do with why her clothes were dirty and torn. "Were you crying?"
"How the fûck did you end up here?"
"I walked. God, why did the service have to be in Santa Cruz? It took me hours to get here."
"No, I mean here. On Earth. Alive. How are you alive, Sara?"
She crossed her arms over her chest. "You answer me first."
"Well, your mom remembered you saying how much you loved Santa Cruz when you were little..."
"Why were you crying, Luke?" she asked, rolling her eyes.
"Michael dumped me."
"What? He dumped you?" I nodded. "So you were together? What did you do, cheat on him?"
"No, we weren't together! It's possible to dump a friend. And why do you assume I did something wrong?"
"I haven't know Michael for very long, but I've heard you talking about him for almost a year." Wow, it had been almost a year, hadn't it? "He doesn't seem like the kind of person to dump someone, even 'just a friend,' without a good reason."
"You're right. He did have a good reason, but this time I surprisingly did nothing wrong. He didn't want to hurt me."
"How the hell would he hurt you?"
"Do you not remember that he's going to die in just over a year?"
"Oh, right. Well, you need to show him that you care about him and you're not willing to let him go. Damn, I've got to do the same now."
She started to get out of the car. When I realized what she meant, I grabbed her wrist. "They're in the middle of your service, Sara."
"I know." She smiled and shook me off, opening the door and getting out. "That'll make it even better."
Jamie
"Sara was a sweet girl," I started. I didn't really know what else to say in front of this many people, but her mom requested me to give a speech. "She's done things wrong before, but she made up for them. Once she did something that made me say I didn't want to be friends anymore, and she wrote me a three-thousand-word apology letter if only for forgiveness." Yet another tear streamed down my face and I tried to keep talking, but I sounded a lot like a frog. "I never forgave her. I was in a coma when she wrote the letter, due to a car accident... I didn't wake up until shortly after it happened." I started sobbing uncontrollably, and the only words I could manage to say were, "it was my fault." My mom came up and held me, so I cried into her shoulder. I didn't know where Michael and Luke were, but I needed a friend then. See, what Michael didn't see was that by trying not to hurt me, he was only hurting me more. Of course, Luke should be here, but I had no idea where he was. He was sort of like that, he disappeared when you needed him most.
I heard a clapping from the back row. What? This was a fûcking funeral, not a joyous celebration, why were they clapping? I also heard a few gasps, but I didn't look up.
"Can I say a few words?" A girl asked. Her voice was very familiar... it couldn't be. I kept my head buried in my mother's neck "Sara and I were pretty close, you could say. She wasn't the nicest person, she wasn't innocent at all, and she screwed up more than a screwdriver, but there was one good thing about her, and that was her taste in girls."
I finally looked up to see that it was, in fact, who I thought couldn't possibly be here--"Sara."
"I love you, Jamie."
"I love you too," I sobbed, running towards her. She swept me up in her arms and we kissed for almost a minute, until her mom cleared her throat and Sara turned to look at her.
"What, Mum? Are you ashamed of me? Are you upset because I'm not normal, or because I found someone better than any man on the face of the Earth? Are you just jealous, because I have Jamie, and you have no one?"
"I have your step-dad," she pointed out.
"As I said," Sara snickered, and turned back to me. "Remind me never to let you go again."
I nodded, beaming. "I have one question, though..." Sara raised her eyebrows. "If that girl who killed herself in the woods wasn't you, who was it?"
Sara's face fell. "First of all, she didn't kill herself." She turned to her mom. "Mum, you know how sometimes you dream that my name is Addie, that I look the same but I'm a completely different person?" Her mom nods. "Those aren't just dreams. Those are memories."
"What?"
"When Dad left you, he... He knocked you out with a shovel. He gave you slight amnesia, and you forgot about Addie." Sara let out a little sob. "She was my twin sister, mum, and she saved my life."
I wrapped my arms around Sara and rubbed her back. "I'm so sorry, Sara."
Sara nodded. "We need to find that evil man."
"Who?" her mom asked.
"Dad. He's the one that..." She bit her lip. "As I said, it wasn't a suicide."
"Wow. So I got back two daughters and lost one, all in the same day."
"I'm so sorry Mum," Sara sobbed, and they embraced for the first time in years as far as I knew.
"Well, now that this happened, I'm going to go find Luke and Michael."
"Luke is in the car."
I nodded, although I wondered how she knew that. "I'm assuming he already knows, then?" She nodded and I went off to find Michael.
Eventually I found him in a porta-potty (A/N: idfk WHT people in other countries call them but it's the portable bathrooms ya know like at construction sites and chiz) on the floor. Ew, that floor must be dirtier than his mind, why would he let himself or his clothing get in physical contact with it? "Michael..."
"How did you get in here?"
"You didn't lock the door."
"Oh."
"What's up?" He shrugged and I looked closer at his face. Noting that it was wet, I asked, "Were you crying?" hoping the answer was yes because if not what the hell was all over his face? He gulped and turned away. "Michael, answer me. What's wrong?"
"I don't know. I was talking to Luke, and I was telling him how I can't be friends with him anymore, and he started talking about taking chances and how he was willing to take a risk so I should and I still have no idea what he meant but then I mistook what he said and... I kissed him."
I had never smiled wider. DIS MA SHIP PEOPLE! Plus the fact that my girlfriend--ex, whatever--had just risen from the dead, that helped too. "Michael, that's wonderful!" He rose his eyebrows. "Michael, that's not wonderful?"
"He doesn't like me Jamie, he's straight." That lying little bítch. "So then, he was like, 'that's not what I meant, I'm straight, if I liked guys I would like you back,' and I don't know, I flipped out, and I told him I didn't like him." That other lying little bítch. "And so then he said you told him, and I said I hadn't told you, because I know you wouldn't do that to me and he said that he had made an educated guess and I told him he was wrong and walked away as if he did something wrong and he did nothing wrong and I just got scared! Help me, Jamie, I'm PMSing!" He continued to sob and I pulled his head to my chest to comfort him.
What? He's gay, it's not like he's thinking of something else, and I know from experience that boobs to the face is a very good comfort. "No, Mikey, he did do something wrong. I'll go talk to him about it later."
"No, don't, if he's straight I don't want him to know I like him."
"I understand, I've been in the exact same situation before. I won't tell him. Come on, let's go." I stood and offered him my hand to help him up. "Oh, and by the way," I added as we walked down the beach, "Sara also once said she was straight."
A/N: sorry this took so long I accidentally deleted it when I was halfway done so yeah but hey at least it's longer than one of my normal chapters!
I'm also sorry for the repetition but I wanted you to see it from both Luke's an Michael's perspectives
but OMG I'm red now I have over 2000 reads *excited squeal*
#LukeIsBeingAMeanyDooDooHead
#Seaster lol
#IHashtagSoMuchShitImSorryISwearImNotSomeHashtagObsessedAverageTeenImWeirdAFIPromise
#WellBye
- <3 rach <3