THERE ARE SEVERAL MOMENTS IN AUTUMN ALITA'S LIFE WHERE SHE'S KNOWN FEAR. When Hal has been in an impossible situation, about to die; when Sinestro arrives on Earth with the only destruction of their lives in mind; when she came close, so very close, to her former best friend; when she was held captive by the Spider Guild; when rubble collapsed around her and seven million souls perished before her.
She's acutely acclimated to its presence and when she steps into the halls of Doom Manor, she doesn't feel so much as a flicker. The lights blink in and out and the air holds a sense of foreboding, but she's dealt with so much worse, been responsible for things far deadlier than a building at the end of Danny Street.
And still, Dick Grayson insists she stay behind him. He and Kory, with their abilities, take the lead and Grace Gardner is supposed to follow along dutifully, never being part of the direct action.
It's a little amusing if she's being honest.
"Hello?" Dick calls. "Is anybody here?"
Autumn sticks behind them as they turn the corner, a strange feeling of dread welling up in her chest. It wasn't there when they first stepped in and it's familiar in how artificial it is.
It reminds her of Sinestro using his yellow light to manipulate her emotions, dragging fear out of nowhere. It's real and it's genuine and it's forced, a lie told to alter her capability.
Her eyes bounce from wall to wall, looking for any crystals that could be causing it, but there's nothing. There's just her and the wrong feeling inside that keeps on growing and growing.
Screams fill the air as they continue further into the house but she can't figure out what direction they're coming from. All she knows for sure is that they're not Rachel ━━ and that whoever lives here should be very grateful for that fact.
The lights dull completely for a couple of seconds, plunging them into total darkness, and Autumn grabs onto Kory's fur coat.
"Get out!" A voice yells from behind them and she swirls around, unfazed at the melting face of the woman before her.
Heavy stomps sound from behind and, never letting go of Kory's arm, Autumn turns to face a robot with glowing red eyes staring Dick down, never dropping his focus for a second.
The screams from beyond come to a sudden and sickening stop, the sound of stone cracking heard throughout the entire house, and Autumn lets go of Kory. Her body falls into a familiar stance and she gets ready to fight, already thinking of ways to incapacitate the robot. The melting woman and the mummy (?) can be left to the other two.
(Kory could probably light the mummy's bandages on fire, right?)
But it doesn't come to that. A new scream reaches them and this time, it's feminine and familiar. There's no doubt in her mind who it belongs to, who is calling out for them ━━ the only thing up for debate is how quickly they can get there.
"Rachel", Dick whispers.
"Go!" Kory orders. "Grace and I will handle this."
He nods, not questioning the look in her eyes, and slips past them and Autumn steps to her left, blocking the robot from following him.
"Don't make me fight you", the mummy says. "You don't want to see what I really."
Kory cocks her head, her eyes glowing a brilliant green, heat rolling off her in waves. "Same."
Autumn casts a side glance at her, that deja vu clawing its way back up to the surface again. There's something so familiar about her, about the glowing eyes and the magma boiling beneath her skin ━━ but Autumn can't shake the feeling that her eyes should be purple, that energy blasted from her hands should be the same.
Kory feels like a puzzle that's missing some major pieces. She can see parts of the picture, can solve little bits of the mystery, but the overall picture is lost to her.
"We don't want to fight you", Kory continues, "but if you get in our way..."
"We don't have to fight", Autumn adds. "All we want is Rachel."
"The kid?"
"Are you hiding another Rachel here?" Kory snaps at them.
There's a look tossed between the mummy and the robot, before they step back. "Chief's gonna kill us for this..."
Kory doesn't waste time thanking them. The second it seems like they're not going to attack, she moves, chasing after the girl she's sworn to protect. The melting woman follows at the same pace, movements rushed as footsteps pound towards the basement but Autumn ━━
Autumn isn't so quick to move.
There's fear in her heart, the real kind, about what happens when she next sees Rachel. Will she remember what happened? Will Rachel look at her and see the woman that tried to kill her? Or can she even remember what happened?
She knows she needs to get those answers, to find out what happens next, but it's like she's rooted to the spot, her guilt weighing her down.
"Look, lady", the robot says, "if the kid's in trouble ━━"
"We've got it handled", Autumn says, somehow keeping her tone even. "Ish."
"Oh, well, if you have it handled-ish", the mummy drawls, "why should we be worried?"
Autumn glares at him, lightning crackling in her veins. "The situation is complicated, but we're trying to keep her safe and, shockingly, letting her stay with strangers doesn't fall into that category."
She doesn't give them a chance to respond, following the sounds of carnage that lead her away from them. Her mobility comes back in a rush and she's chasing after Kory, chasing after Dick, until she's pausing atop a balcony that overlooks the whole scene.
Dick is holding onto Rachel, the room around them a mess. In the corner, Autumn can see the crumpled form of a man, but that's not what grabs her attention.
No, her mind is focused on the medical bed that Rachel is straight beside, the broken restraints she must have had to fight her way out of. Mix that with the screams and Autumn gets a sickening picture, one that sends her mind into a rage.
Fury bubbles underneath her skin like magma. "I'm going to kill him."
Kory's eyes flicker to the same place Autumn is looking at, steel overcoming her gaze. "You won't be alone."
Deja vu or not, Autumn's glad that she has something in common with her ━━ even if that's a need to protect Rachel from harm.
(And it's not because she likes knowing, if she ever came close to crossing that line, Kory would not hesitate to take her out).
★
LEANING AGAINST THE PORCHE, AUTUMN REGARDS RACHEL WITH CARE. She's clearly shaken up from what's happened and while Dick's words may have given her comfort, he's too wrapped up in his own issues to realize the several issues at hand, too busy trying to convince a boy with a heart of gold that this could be too dangerous.
"Do you wanna talk about what happened?" She asks her, barely glancing up. There's a bubble of anxiety broiling in her chest, but Rachel hasn't mentioned what happened at the Sisters. There's a chance she doesn't know, a chance that whatever took control is blocking the memory, but Autumn doesn't know if it's a chance she can take.
The girl wraps her arms around herself. "No. I just... everybody around me keeps on getting hurt."
"Which isn't your fault", Autumn says firmly. "You are not responsible for the actions of others."
"But Dawn ━━"
"Dawn is a grown woman who knew what she was getting into when she chose to fight", she says without a single second of hesitation. "And even if that wasn't the case, you didn't ask for any of this. You're not the one at fault here, Rachel."
"It doesn't feel that way."
"I know", Autumn says, her voice barely above a whisper. "It never does. But that doesn't mean it isn't true."
"Are you... are you okay?" Rachel asks her, looking up carefully. "I don't remember much at the Sisters... but you were there, weren't you?"
"I'm fine", she lies and it falls off her tongue with a little too much ease. She shouldn't be surprised, not anymore, but sometimes, when her guard is down and her heart is raw, it hurts her to know that lies and deceit have become her second nature. "A little roughed up, but nothing I can't handle."
"There was an explosion."
She shrugs. "Suppose I just got lucky then."
"Are you sure? I didn't want to hurt you and ━━"
"Rachel!" Autumn interrupts. "I'm okay. I'm not hurt and even if I was, even if you had harmed me, I would never blame you for it."
"Why?"
She leans in front of her, biting her lip. "You don't have control over your power. It happens and it's hard and it can drive you so insane, make you so afraid... but it doesn't have to dictate every choice you make. You're stronger than that."
"What makes you so sure?"
"You're still here, aren't you? Still fighting, still trying to do the right thing."
"I could've... I would've killed the Chief."
Autumn frowns. "Rach, I don't know how to break this to you, but Kory and I will kill the Chief if he so much as looks at you again. You can't blame yourself for being angry at evil people. It's just humans work; we see something messed up, we react strongly."
Rachel clenches her fists, her gaze remaining resolutely on the ground. "I'm not sure I am human. Not anymore."
"You are", she says confidently. "I know it."
"How?"
She shrugs, trying to make the action as light as possible. "I tend to have a good sense for these kinds of things."
Rachel pauses. "Are you sure you're okay?"
"What do you mean?"
"You seem... off", she says quickly, "and you're like Kory. I can't ━━ my powers don't work right on you."
"I'm fine, kid", she says softly. "I just... I was seriously worried about you. Please don't run off like that again ━━ because no matter how scared you are, we're always gonna be there for you."
"I didn't mean to scare you."
"I know that. I'm just gonna need you to tell me the next time you plan on running off to the world's weirdest family."
She cracks a tiny smile. "They're kinda nice, actually."
"Yes, that's the vibe I was getting when they jumped out to attack us", she drawls. "Very friendly."
"Gar's nice", she says, a little defensive. "I think you're gonna like him."
"The green-haired kid?"
"Yeah. Do you think Dick's gonna let him come with us?"
Autumn pauses. "I don't think that Dick is gonna say no..."
"Would you?"
"Um, no. I don't think it's safe, for him or for us, but at the end of the day, it's Gar's choice and it probably won't hurt to have extra hands on deck."
Rachel frowns, arms crossed. "You're... you're still gonna stay then? Even though you almost died?"
"I could almost die anytime. At least here, I can do it around people I like."
"That was almost sweet, Gardner", Kory says, coming up on her right. Somehow, her magenta curls are still perfectly in place and she looks completely unbothered by the day's events. If it weren't so irritating, how constantly perfect she is, Autumn might be a little impressed. "I can feel myself blushing."
She rolls her eyes. "Don't flatter yourself."
"Why would I need to when I have you around?"
"Are you two done?" Dick asks. "Because we have to go pick up a new car."
Autumn turns to face him. "Oh my God... are you saying we have to give up the Porche?"
"There's five of us", he explains. "It's gonna get a little cramped."
She narrows her eyes at the boy, Garfield. He looks a little jittery, a little nervous, and she feels all her irritation melt away. From what she's heard, he helped Rachel, looked out for her when they couldn't (which does, it seems, appear to be a tragically reoccurring theme).
"I always did see you as more of a soccer mom kind of guy", Autumn jokes. "Maybe we could get a minivan?"
"A minivan would actually be great for space and ━━"
At Kory's groan, Autumn starts to tune Dick out, unable to stop the slight smile as she climbs into the Porche after Rachel. There's something in her chest, something warm and soothing ━━ something that feels a whole lot like happiness and it only seems to grow the more time she spends around these people, the longer she's basking in their company.
It's a feeling that she knows she doesn't deserve, knows she could never deserve, but she doesn't know what she'd do if it ended. She doesn't want to, either.
★